Thank you for the reviews! I'm really glad you guys are liking this story. This chapter was pretty hard to write so I hope you're happy with it!

Chapter 11

"Where were you yesterday?" Chris asked as we walked to the room for stage two.

"Just hung with Uriah for a while, caught up and stuff." I brush off. When we enter the room we find all the initiates, including dauntless born sitting in a hallway tapping their fingers. If stage two is patience I may as well quite and become factionless right now. "What's going on?" I ask sitting opposite Uriah. He looks up from clicking his nails together.

"Don't know Four said something about us doing stage two together then walked out, apparently he'll call our names and we'll go in one at a time." I look at him making an o with my mouth. Marlene sits to his left while Lynn I think, sits on his right. Both looking as bored as Uriah.

"So." Lynn says, looking away from her shoes. "Which one of you is ranked first." I rest my elbow on my knee so I can balance my chin on my fist.

"Me." I reply lazily, already bored.

" Bet I could take you." She says casually as she plays with her piercing. "I'm second but I'm sure anyone could take you, transfer." I raise an eyebrow.

"If we're placing bets." Uriah says after clearing his throat. "I bet 50 points Tris would own you." Lynn looks at him insultingly. Then scoffs.

"Please, shes just a stiff. We've trained for this basically all our lives." I sigh, shaking my head in exasperation. I'm bored of this now, everyone underestimating me before they see what I can actually do. So much so that it doesn't even annoy me anymore. If one of my friends said it, yeah I'd be irritated. A stranger? Please I get that twenty times a day.

"Who's first for you guys?" I ask. Marlene points to Uriah. "Oooh well done." I say winking at him.

He grins at me before wiggling his fingers and yelling "Twinsies." in a ridiculously high voice.

Will stares at Uriah and asks. "Do you think it's fair we have to learn in two weeks what you guys have trained for through out your life?"

"Yeah." Uriah shrugs. "I mean stage one is skill sure but no one can prepare for stage two. Well apparently anyway." The room grows silent until Peter is called twenty minutes later. Eventually the numbers dwindle. When there's around seven of us left Uriah tries to teach me a clap song. Which helps the time go by, who knew it was so difficult to learn something like that? By the time I'm called, over an hour later I still haven't mastered the stupid song.

Four touches my shoulder as he leads me into the room and closes the door. What I see in the room makes me plant my feet firmly to the spot, refusing to move.

"Hell no, I am not going through that freak show again." I say pointing towards the reclining metal chair, with a machine next to it. I am not failing the unfailable test again for two reasons. Firstly according to Tori its a slight safety hazard and I like breathing. And secondly, well as immature as it might sound I'm only just getting over the chunk the first test took from my pride.

"Sit." Four says giving me a gentle push. But I stay exactly where I am.

"Why do I have to do it again? Isn't once enough?" I mope. Crossing my arms over my body.

"Ever heard the phrase facing your fears?" Four says. "We'll we're taking that literally, the simulation will teach you how to control your emotions in a frightening situation."

I let out a steady breath and walk to the chair plonking myself down. The simulation isn't real, it can't hurt me, no point in being scared.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" I say raising an eyebrow.

"No I avoid stiffs as much as possible." I'm about to ask whats the worst thing an abnegation can do, bake you cookies? When I glance at his eyes. I crinkle my nose and just nod as a response. He arches his eyebrow.

"Wait, no why?" He says surprised.

"Oh so that's it, you say vague answers so we ask, awh you just wanted some attention." I say smiling as I pat his face. Causing an eye roll. He edges closer, his fingers brushing my neck. I shiver under his touch but try to brush it off as nerves. That's when I see the huge syringe with a very big very pointy needle in his other hand.

"You know, Tori just gave me a magic potion. No pointy thing to the jugular."

"We use a more advance version, no wires or electrodes, just a different serum with a transmitter." He says.

"I prefer Tori, you know the nice lady that's not holding a sharp object to my neck." I huff. That's when he takes the opportunity to ease the needle into my neck. Lovely.

"It should take effect in about sixty seconds." He says as he presses down on the plunger. "This serum is different from the aptitude test, it stimulates the amygdala which is part of the brain that produces negative emotions, like fear and then induces a hallucination. I can then see it on the computer and record it for the dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down. So lower your heart rate and control your breathing." Well doesn't that sound fun. I wince. As a bubble begins to form in my brain growing continuously until I can barely make out the room,

"Be strong Tris." I hear Four say before the bubble pops and the world goes black.

I wake up in my room. The familiar grey bringing a small smile to my face. The room bare only having small necessities. A wardrobe, a bed and a small study for my homework. The only slight extravagance being the clock on the wall, its still night, three in the morning. If my parents knew I was awake at this time they'd be angry. But I feel so thirsty I take the chance. I hold my breath as I open the door waiting for its usual creek. shockingly it doesn't come. I got lucky tonight. I tiptoe towards the stairwell my fingers tracing the wall as I go, trying to remember every detail. Wait, why would I do that? It's not like I won't see them tomorrow. Yet as I walk the feeling that I must store every glance, every touch and every smell to memory carries on. I stare at the calender on the wall. November fifth, I know that date. My body trembles, as it subconsciously tries to remind me. A load sound fills my ears, a pot falling on the floor downstairs. Realization hits me like a punch to the gut and I take the stairs at a run. November fifth, of course I know that day. I run through the dinning room and head straight for the kitchen. This can't happen again, I'm stronger now, I'm dauntless. Reaching the kitchen I see my parents in the corner of the cabinets. "Mum!" I cry as I lunge at her, filling her in my arms. I hold her staring at her beautiful face, a face that even abnegation clothes can't hide.

"Beatrice? No you can't be awake! Go!" My dad yells and through the tears I memorize him too.

"Beatrice, look at me." my mother says pulling my face to hers. "I need you to hide, there are bad people here." I shake my head as I cry harder. Fear and worry lines her face as we hear a door swing open, I try to tell her I can help, that I can keep them safe but instead I whisper "Mum, what's going on I'm scared."

She kisses me on the cheek before taking my hand quickly leading me to the cupboard under the sink. Its small, very small so much so I have to curl my body up to get inside, immobilizing myself. No what are you doing go back out there, go, fight, this is what you trained for! But I couldn't move. I wasn't in control of my own body. No get up! Get up! Why are you letting this happen again? My mum looked at me one more time a sad smile on her lips, "Beatrice remember, me and your father will always love you. Look after Caleb okay?" She whispers, her gentle hands wiping away my tears. She closes the door. But she didn't, not fully anyway. No I can't see this again. I can't.

The kitchen door opens. five men enter, faces hidden by masks. One of the men walk towards my father barely giving him a glance before, with one quick swipe, slit his throat. I bite my lip, stopping myself from crying out as fresh tears spill down my cheeks. My father deserved better than that, better than a careless blow, the man looked as though he was merely in the way before stepping over him. No he deserved better. The other four men surrounded my mother punching and kicking her from all directions, making her fall to her knees. "Well Natalie, we always knew this day would come, Guys pin her." No I can not see this again. No. This isn't real. Deep breath. This isn't real. The men pinned her like a starfish. Weak, that's what I am, I deserve this. No! This isn't real. But it doesn't stop it being my fault. I could have stopped this, I should have stopped this. I hear my mums scream as the man cuts off her thumb. I turn away closing my eyes and covering my ears. I have to get out of here now, this is only the beginning of the show. This isn't real. I take even breaths. I imagine myself standing up, leaving the cupboard and throttling them. The last thing I hear is my mother screaming in agony.

I Open my eyes and don't think, just move, I rush up punching, but the door doesn't open. The scream rushes through my mind and my fist pounds harder, still it doesn't open. . Could have done . All my fault. I try to swing again but my arm doesn't move. I change hands. This one I still control. "Tris." Punch. "Tris." I punch again. "Tris!" I spin around. Four stares back at me. "Tris, its over." My arms fall to my sides as I look around, seeing the white wall's and metal chair of the stage two room.

"You, you told me it was a fear." I whisper almost silent. "You lied to me." My body begins to shake and I feel cold. When did it get so cold?

"That, it was a fear Tris, one of the worst I've seen but its still a fear." I shake my head, my body trembling harder as tears brim to the surface once more.

"Why did you make me do that?" I scream as my legs give way beneath me. He takes my arm wrapping it around his shoulders and helping me up.

"Tris, I'm going to take you back to the dorm okay?"

"No." I say void of emotion. As I wipe the tears away. "They can't see me like this they'll worry." He gave me a sideways look as though I had just grown a second head. But merely said "calm down, I'll take you out the back door." I remove my arm from his shoulders and will my emotions away. I straighten up, shoving my hands in my pockets and force a smile to my face. It looks fake even to me.

"No need, I'm fine, I'm just going to go to the cafeteria." I say with as much confidence as I can muster. But from the look on his face I can tell I'm not fooling either of us.

"Okay." He says as he goes through the door to the other initiates. I let out a deep breath running my fingers through my hair before the door opens again. Four comes back in a first aid kit hung over his shoulder. "Lets go then." He says, taking my arm and leading me out the back door. We walk through the hallway in silence.

"Why did you do that to me?" I murmur.

"Did you think over coming cowardice would be easy?" He asks calmly.

"That's not overcoming cowardice. That's torture. And how does watching my parents die help?" I say wiping my hands on my jeans. His face softened as he turns to me.

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear." He says "Is a lesson that everyone, even your family needs to learn, that's what we're trying to teach you, If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the hell out of here because we don't want you."

"I'm trying." I reply fidgeting with my hands. "But I failed, like, chili chocolate failed."

He sighs. "How long do you think you were in the simulations for?"

"I don't know." I bite my lip. "Half an hour?"

"Three minutes, you got out three times faster than the other initiates, what ever you are you're not a failure." No just a coward. "Tomorrow you'll be better at it you'll see."

I give him an are you kidding me look. "Tomorrow, really?" He just grins touching my back and walking me through the door. "Hate to tell you this but this is the training room, we can't get food here." I say trying not to think of his touch.

"Yeah, but you're upset." He says with a shrug.

"I'm fine." I say swatting my hand.

"No your not, and when you get upset, you do chin ups." He says. I cross my arms.

"I do not."

"Tris, look up." He laughed. I did as told and saw that I had generally walked to the pole with out knowing. My cheeks burn and I itch the back of my neck.

"Smart ass." I mumble as I climb up the pole.

"What was that?" He grinned.

"I said what was your first simulation?" I glance at him as I position myself and begin to lift my body.

"It wasn't so much a what, more a who." I nod in understanding.

"You over your fear now?" I ask

"Not yet." He says sliding his hands in his pockets. "Don't know if i'll ever be."

"I know that feeling." I say with a huff. "Hey." I say with a smile. "Come join me." I wiggle further to the left giving him room. With a shrug he climbs up.

"Why do you do this so much?" He asks.

"To get stronger, I swear we've been over this a hundred times." I say as I come back up our arms touching. I turn to him as the spark flows through my body. We smile at each other before carrying on. We work in silence until I jump down.

"What tired already?" Four smirks.

"No, but I should probably find the others, you know make sure they don't think I died or something." I say. I straighten my hair and wipe my face trying to look presentable. "Do I look like I've been crying?" I ask.

"Hmmm." Four jumps down walking towards me, not stopping until his face is mere centimeters from mine. His eyes narrow as he examines me, our breath intermingling. Causing my heart to race. He grins slowly. "No Tris," He whispers. "You look tough as nails."