Rayna tried to sleep, but by noon, she gave up. She was worried about Deacon. Still mad as hell about the previous night's phone call. Still very hurt that he hadn't wanted her to go to Natchez with him. Confused about why, and what happened to him as a child, to make him react that way.
She got up, showered, and made herself breakfast. The thought of one of Deacon's famous omelet's made her mouth water. She'd give anything right now to have him home, safe, and standing at the stove, bare chested, making those omelets. Even in an old, ratty pair of sweatpants, hair a mess, and making an even bigger mess in her kitchen, Deacon could make her heart flutter.
She thought about calling him, but pushed the notion away. Did he really believe she'd cheat on him with Luke, or anyone for that matter? What more could she do to prove to him that she loved him, and wanted ONLY him? She'd taken him back after some horribly ugly fights, taken him back after his first failed attempt at rehab, waited 2 months with no contact as he completed his 2nd trip to rehab, and put up with not only Deacon, but also Vince for more than a year in that apartment.
She thought about what Luke had said. "Who's taking care of you, Rayna?"
Her mind wandered back 2 yrs to the day she met Deacon. She was working as a waitress at the Bluebird. It was her first day, and Deacon was behind the bar. She had been a disaster as a waitress. She'd never really had to work before. Deacon was irritable, and nursing a hangover. The last thing he wanted to do was babysit a new, incompetent waitress all night. A large group had ordered drinks. Rayna dropped the tray on the way to the table. Deacon was pissed. He was extremely busy with the patrons sitting at the bar. Making 10 drinks for the 2nd time didn't go over well. Rayna remembered the conversation well…
"Deacon, I, um…accidentally dropped that last order." Rayna was shaking as she placed the tray on the bar full of broken bottles, and glasses.
"DAMMIT! You need to be more careful." Deacon had scolded her, as he made the drink order again.
"You think you can make it 15 feet to the damn table without dropping it?" He'd said as he pushed the tray across the bar to Rayna.
"I'm doing the best I can, sorry, I've never done this before." She'd shot back on the verge of tears.
A few minutes later a well-dressed man from the same table approached the bar.
"May I speak with a manager, PLEASE?" he was noticeably upset
"What seems to be the problem?" Deacon inquired.
"Well for starters, it was a 15 min wait to get our drink order taken. That red headed, mess of a waitress, dropped our first order. Our second order is all wrong. We've been here half an hour and she hasn't been back to take our food order."
"OK, I'm very sorry sir. Give me your food order. I'll get that to the kitchen, while I fix your drink order."
The man seemed calmer. Deacon had rushed the food order, made and delivered the 3rd and correct drink order to the table himself, and tried to keep up with the bar.
20 minutes later a pissed off woman approached the bar.
"What can I get you, mam?" Deacon asked.
"I'd like my money back for 8 admissions!" The woman spat.
"Is there a problem, mam?" asked Deacon.
"Yes, we've been here 30 min and no one has even taken our drink order! We were planning to order food too, but we're not waiting all night."
Deacon had turned on his southern boy charm to fix this one.
"I'm very sorry to keep a table full of beautiful women waitin. What are you guys celebratin tonight, darlin?" He'd rolled out his best southern drawl, as he came from behind the bar, and led her back to the table with his arm around her waist.
"We're here for a bachelorette party."
"Oh, sounds fun… Who's off the market? Just so I know." He'd given them his wide crinkle eyed grin.
A pretty blonde said "Me"
"Lucky guy! Let me take your drink orders, and food orders. I'll get that in right away, and bring your drinks personally."
"I know you're here for Chris Ledoux, but I happen to know that Garth himself might make a surprise appearnance….shhhhhhhh….that's between us, OK, ladies?" Deacon had them eating out of his hand by the time he left the table.
Rayna's entire first night as a waitress had gone much the same, and each time Deacon seemed to smooth over the ruffled customer with ease. The owner/manager Sara had been watching all night. She called Rayna into her office and told her she was giving her another chance, but things needed to drastically improve tomorrow night, or she'd have no choice but to let Rayna go.
Rayna walked out of the Bluebird that night feeling pretty defeated, with tears running down her cheeks.
Deacon was sitting on the open tailgate of his truck, in the parking lot, strumming his guitar.
She was sure he hated her. She quickly turned to walk the other direction away from him.
He broke into a rendition of Allen Jackson's:
"I Don't Even Know Your Name"
Well I was sitting in a roadhouse down on Highway 41
You were wiping off some ketchup on a table that was done
I knew you didn't see me, I was in a corner booth
Of course you weren't my waitress, mine was missing her front tooth
So I flagged you down for coffee, but I couldn't say a thing
But I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name
Deacon had stopped, put his guitar down, and jumped off the tailgate. Rayna heard his boots on the pavement as he caught up to her.
"Hey…hey…slow down sweetheart, it's OK. Things were so crazy tonight we weren't really properly introduced." He'd reached for her and spun her around to face him.
"Oh, hey…what are you cryin for?" he saw the tears as she faced him.
"I'm a horrible waitress. Sara is going to fire me tomorrow if I can't do any better." She'd sobbed.
"Well…can't argue THAT!" he'd joked, his blue eyes twinkling
"Where you headed?" he asked
"Downtown to my sister's condo."
"Walkin? It's 7 miles to downtown, darlin! You shouldn't be out here walking all alone at this time a night."
"I'll be fine." Rayna said as she turned again to walk away from him.
"Stop, please, look…we got off on the wrong foot earlier. I'm sorry I was such a jerk. Let me drive you home?" Deacon reached for her shoulder again.
She was exhausted, and crying. 7 miles was an awfully long walk.
"OK" she tearfully accepted and let him lead her to his truck with his arm around her shoulders.
Deacon was a perfect gentleman that night. He drove her to Tandy's condo, even walked her up to the door on the 12th floor.
"Thank you for covering for me tonight, and the ride." She said as he turned to leave.
"Yeah, sure, anytime darlin." He flashed a smile her direction.
"Oh…by the way…what's your name?" he'd stopped and looked back
"Rayna…Rayna Wy….Jaymes…Rayna Jaymes." She'd almost said Wyatt out of habit, but wanted nothing of her father's even his name.
"OK…Rayna Jaymes. I'm Deacon Claybourne. I'll see you at work tomorrow." He went back to his Allen Jackson song as he walked down the hall…
So I ordered straight tequila, a little courage in a shot
And I asked you for a date and then I asked to tie the knot
I got a little wasted, yeah, I went a little far
I finally got to hug you when you helped me to my car
The last thing I remember I heard myself say
I'm in love with you, baby, and I don't even know your name
It hadn't escaped her that he was a very good looking guy. She fell asleep that night thinking about his gorgeous, deep, blue eyes, and that smile. She'd only heard him sing that couple verses of Allen Jackson, but he had a beautiful voice. She'd forgotten all about her horrible first night as a waitress as her thoughts were consumed by the cute bartender.
…and that had been history. She knew from that night on she wanted Deacon Claybourne in her life. He'd finally gotten the courage to ask her out, a week later, after a lot of encouraging flirting from her end. He kissed her for the first time, the same night, in the middle of the walking bridge, over the Cumberland River.
The world stopped with that first kiss. Nothing, and no one else would ever mean as much to her as Deacon. She'd dated and kissed other guys, but she'd never felt anything so strong. Things between them felt so right, she'd moved in with him by the 3rd month of dating. She kept thinking the butterflies would fade, but 2 years later, Deacon could still shoot a glance her way from across the Bluebird and make the world stop all over again. The intensity only grew when they sang together. They could barely wait to get home after their shows, and tear each other's clothes off. Most of the time they didn't make it home, even though their apartment was only blocks from the Bluebird.
Rayna glanced at the clock. 1:42pm
"Shit." She cursed to herself. She'd lost track of time thinking about Deacon, and needed to be at the Bluebird in 18 minutes. She walked in at 2:02pm to start her shift.
8 hrs away in Natchez, Deacon awoke on the couch to a cussing Vince. He was fighting with a pair of rabbit ears on top of the TV, trying to tune in a baseball game.
"You know if you'd pay the GODDAMN cable bill you wouldn't have that problem!" Deacon joked as he sat up and held his throbbing head.
"Deke! How the hell are you?" Vince grabbed him and wrapped him in a bear hug.
"Hung over! Thanks for the Jack." He said sarcastically, as he picked up the empty 5th on the coffee table, and sighed.
"What not you're poison anymore?"
"I just got out of rehab you asshole! Why would you? …never mind…doesn't matter now anyway."
"You drank it, didn't you? I don't remember pouring it down your throat. Course, I don't remember much at all of the past few days." Vince admitted.
"Hey, thanks for cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, Deke. The place looks nice. Rayna's got you whipped pretty well, huh?
Deacon flinched at the mention of Rayna, and stood up to look for his phone. The Xanax bottle fell out of his front pocket. It was half empty. He opened it. There were only 17 pills left.
"FUCK!" Rayna was gonna kill him, not only had he downed a 5th of Jack, but also popped 13 Xanax in the past 2 days. No wonder he felt like hell. He wished he was dead, and the thought of explaining this to Rayna made him cringe. That was assuming she'd talk to him at all after last night's phone call.
"Have you seen my phone anywhere, Vince?"
"Nope, where was the last place you had it?"
Deacon got up. The room started spinning. He stood there for a second trying to gain his balance.
"You OK, Deke? You don't look to good."
Deacon took a few deep breaths, and sat back down.
"Can you grab me a bottle of water outta the fridge, Vince?"
Vince returned with the water, eating a slice of the pizza Deacon had left on the kitchen table last night.
"Hey, you bought groceries too! I don't need a woman with you around, Deke! Cooking, cleaning, what the hell's gotten into you?" Vince laughed as he handed Deacon the water.
"Shut the hell up. This place is a pig sty. You're never gonna GET a woman if you're bringing them back here."
"…and don't eat that pizza. It's been on the table all night."
"Its fine, Deke. I can eat anything." Vince retreated back to the kitchen for more day old, left out pizza.
Deacon was feeling a little better. He tried to stand again. This time he managed without the room moving. He checked the couch cushions, and all around for his phone.
"What the hell, did I…"
The porch…that's where he'd been last time he had the phone. He stepped out the front door. It wasn't on the table or the swing. He found it on the ground against the house. He must have thrown it against the house after Rayna hung up on him. The numeric display was cracked, but still readable, and the phone was still on and holding a charge. His heart sank a little when he saw no missed calls. He was hoping maybe Rayna would have called, but at the same time dreading it.
"What the hell am I gonna tell Rayna?" He whispered to himself, as he sank onto the porch swing, and put his face in his hands.
Vince came out of the house with 2 bud lights in one hand, and a twinkie in the other.
"Jesus, Vince! Is it even noon?"
"Uhhhh, its after 4pm, Deke." He said as he placed a bud light in front of Deacon on the table.
Deacon glanced at his phone. The display was cracked over the time. It was hard to read, but Vince was right, it was 4:06pm. Rayna was already at the Bluebird for her shift, and wouldn't be off till 2am. Anger suddenly started to build as Deacon remembered last night's call. He tossed the phone back on the table with more force than he intended.
"She'd probably be with WHEELER, again after work." He clenched his jaw, and slammed his fist on the table.
"What the hell, Deke?"
"Sorry, just…Rayna and I had a fight last night."
"What the hell else is new?" laughed Vince.
"If you two aren't onstage together, you're either fuckin, or fightin." Deacon just glared at Vince.
"Well, it's true." Vince sniped.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Deacon snapped.
"OK, man, sorry. I know Rayna's a hot button issue between us since you kicked me out to make her happy."
"How's that workin for you, Deke?" Vince wasn't gonna drop this.
"Drop it, alright?"
"I'm just sayin, Deke…it used to be Bros before hos, ya know?" Vince tried to hide the lump in his throat.
"I'm here, Vince, alright. Rayna's not! I wouldn't let her come."
"Is that what you're fightin about?"
"No, and I don't wanna talk about Rayna anymore."
"OK" agreed Vince.
"How are you holdin up?" Deacon asked.
"As long as I stay drunk, great!" Vince swallowed another lump with a gulp of beer.
"I'm real sorry about your mama, Vinny." Deacon had his own lump forming now.
"Have you made any arrangements?"
"I don't need to. She knew it was coming, and made all the arrangements herself, casket to calla lilies. All I gotta do is show up."
"When are the services?"
"Day after tomorrow, the 6th."
"Oh, and we're suppose to meet with mama's lawyer tomorrow, the 5th at 1pm."
"Me too?" asked Deacon
"Yeah, she named you in her will, Deke. She thought of you as a son."
"I saw my name on an envelope when I was cleanin the kitchen, but I didn't open it."
"Probably a copy of the will. I didn't open it either. The lawyer is her executor. She didn't trust me." Vince laughed.
"OK, well, you wanna look at it?" asked Deacon.
"No, I'd rather just wait for the lawyer tomorrow, if you don't mind?"
"OK" agreed Deacon.
They sat on the porch for quite a while enjoying the hot June day. Vince was on his 3rd or 4th beer. Deacon hadn't opened the 1st one Vince had placed in front of him an hour or so earlier. He knew he had to get his mind on something else. Now that he'd slipped, the craving for alcohol was worse than ever. He really needed an AA meeting, but had no idea where in Natchez to find one.
"When was the last time you mowed this yard? It looks like hell."
"I dunno. Mom had some kid do it most of the time, but I haven't seen him lately."
"You got a mower?"
"Yeah, it's in the garage."
Deacon went around back to get the mower. He was fiddling around trying to get it started in the driveway when a car pulled in.
It was Beverly. She went to the porch to give Vince her condolences. Deacon walked up a few minutes later to see what she wanted.
"What the hell are you doin here, Bev?"
"Good to see you again too, Deke!"
Vince sensed the tension between them and excused himself.
"Ya know what, I'll leave you two to talk. I'll go see what I can do with that mower."
"You know mom's been cryin since you left AGAIN yesterday, Deke!"
Deacon sat down, and popped the top off the bud light, he'd been doing his best to ignore.
"I thought you told mama, you weren't drinkin anymore, been sober 4 months!" asked Bev snidely.
"Was that just another lie, like telling her you wouldn't leave again?"
Deacon was losing his patience. He took a long pull from the bottle.
"I started drinkin again last night if you really need to know."
"As for leavin…I haven't left yet!"
"You know what, Bev…you don't know a GODDAMN thing about me!"
"I know enough about you Deacon. You ran off to Nashville to make a life for yourself, and completely forgot about me, and mama, and your life here. You didn't give a fuck about leaving us here with that son of a bitch."
"Jesus Deacon! You couldn't even be bothered to come back and spit on is grave the day he died."
"Well I'll make sure to do that before I leave town this time." Hissed Deacon.
"What do you want from me, Bev, huh?" Deacon spat, as he polished off the last of the bud light, and stormed into the kitchen to get another from the fridge.
Bev was right behind him.
"I DON'T WANT A GODDAMN THING FROM YOU, DEACON, BUT YOU OPENED THIS DOOR WITH MAMA AGAIN, AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALK AWAY AND LEAVE ME WITH THE PIECES TO CLEAN UP THIS TIME!"
Deacon finished his 2nd beer, and was on his 3rd as Bev continued to unload 8 yrs worth of hate, resentment, and jealousy.
"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO DEKE? BLOW IN HERE, UPSET EVERYONE, AND THEN RUN BACK TO YOUR RICH BITCH GIRLFRIED IN NASHVILLE, BECOME SOME BIG STAR?"
"THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU LEAVE RAYNA OUT OF THIS. YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKIN CLUE ABOUT MY LIFE OR ANYTHING I WENT THROUGH AFTER I LEFT."
'YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR ME, HUH?"
"I WAS 16 YRS OLD. I LEFT WITH NOTHING. I HAD NO ONE. I WAS HOMELESS FOR ALMOST A YEAR. YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR ME TO LEAVE YOU AND MAMA? I HAD TO GET OUT. I WOULD HAVE KILLED THAT ASSHOLE WITH MY BARE HANDS IF I'D HAVE STAYED!"
"YOU HAD ME AND MAMA, DEKE! BUT I GUESS THAT WASN'T ENOUGH."
"YOU KNOW SHE HAS A SCRAPBOOK ABOUT YOU? KEEPS EVERY DAMN SCRAP OF PAPER, PICTURE SHE CAN FIND ABOUT YOU!"
"YEAH, SHE TOLD ME."
"DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU, DEKE? SHE SHOWS THAT STUPID BOOK TO ANYONE THAT WILL LISTEN. SHE'S SO DAMN PROUD OF YOU, AND YOU CAN'T EVEN PICK UP THE PHONE ONCE A WEEK TO TALK TO HER."
Deacon downed his 3rd beer and grabbed his 4th from the fridge.
"This is pointless. You don't give a shit, Deke. You never did. All you care about is that bottle, just like him."
Deacon was trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry, or scream, or smash the bottle against the wall.
"YOU NEED TO MAKE A CHOICE, DEKE. YOU'RE EITHER GONNA BE PART OF OUR LIVES OR NOT. IF YOU LEAVE TOWN WITHOUT SEEING MAMA AGAIN THIS TIME, YOU BETTER NEVER COME BACK! IF YOU'RE GONNA BE PART OF HER LIFE…PICK UP THE FUCKIN PHONE ONCE A WEEK AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER."
"SHE NEEDS MORE THAN A DAMN SCRAPBOOK, DEACON. SHE NEEDS HER SON. WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEIN A MAN FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, NOT RUNNING AWAY CAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE MEMORIES."
"I HAVE TO LIVE IN THAT HOUSE, AND DEAL WITH HER, AND THOSE MEMORIES EVERYDAY. I HAD TO LISTEN TO HER CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP FOR YEARS AFTER YOU LEFT. NOT TO MENTION WITH YOU GONE, DADDY TOOK EVERYTHING OUT ON ME AND MAMA. HE BLAMED HER FOR YOU LEAVIN. DID YOU KNOW THAT? SAID SHE LET YOU RUN WILD, AND BECOME DISRESPECTFUL, THOSE 6 MONTHS HE WAS AWAY, WITH HIS SLUT GIRLFRIEND. HE BEAT MAMA THAT NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU DEACON!"
"YOU LIVE WITH THAT. YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE DONE IT YOURSELF!"
"YOU DONE? YOU FEEL BETTER NOW THAT YOU UNLOADED 8 YRS OF CRAP ON ME?" Deacon yelled.
Bev stormed out, slamming the front door as Deacon downed his 5th beer.
Vince came in from the porch with Deacon's phone in his hand.
"Uuuhhhh, probably not the best time, but Rayna's on the phone. Guess I shouldn't have answered, but she called twice in a row sooooo…" Vince handed Deacon the phone, and quickly escaped back out to the front porch. He knew when Deacon was that pissed off, it was best to just walk away.
He'd barely made it down the front steps when he heard the bottle Deacon had been holding shatter against the kitchen wall.
