Chapter 11
"Given up and now he's gone."
John's POV.
I was standing there with the same expression as everyone else in the room, shocked and speechless. The door was wide open with Persephanie outside, while Reanna and I were both inside, with barely any clothes on. My eyes weakened, darting over Persephanie's tears. I had done it again, I made her cry, I gave her pain, and fulfilled more reasons to why she shouldn't be with me.
"No, no, no, Persephanie this isn't what it looks like!" Reanna defended looking back at me. "This is all very innocent."
Persephanie didn't say a word, but she crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation.
"Look, John's barely wearing anything because I dragged him out the bathroom while he was taking a shower…" Reanna started. Persephanie shot her a funny look and she just continued on, to make it at least bit reasonable. "I didn't know he was taking a shower, or was half naked for that matter! All I know is that I'm pissed he forgot about Baby Peter!"
"Yeah, I left my door unlocked so she just barged in and started yelling at me," I explained.
"He's so irresponsible with Baby Peter that he didn't even know I took him back!" Reanna exclaimed. "I dropped by Randy's house one day to check on Peter and Randy said he hasn't eaten in days so I took my son back. The thing that pissed me off the most was that John didn't even notice Baby Peter was with me!"
I turned a light shade of pink, not wanting Reanna to continue on talking. I didn't want her to give Persephanie any reasons what so ever to not have a child with me in the far, or near, future. "Okay, I think she gets the point! Alright now shut it."
Reanna slapped my arm, and growled. "No you shut it!"
I rolled my eyes as she went inside the main room of my hotel to get Peter. "You understand all of this right? Nothing's going on between Reanna and me…"
"Except a fight!" She exclaimed, walking back to us with Peter on her arms. "I'm sorry Persephanie, I really hope you forgive me with all the stuff I did to you back then."
She cooped up a smile and nodded her head.
"Okay she forgives you, now go!" I said pushing her out the door.
"See what I mean! He doesn't give a crap about Baby Peter!" Reanna exclaimed, stepping out the room.
I simply smiled and answered, "I just need to talk to someone that's why. I'll drop by your room to play with Peter later on today."
"Pfft I highly doubt that," Reanna muttered, walking away.
I let out a soft laugh, and placed a hand on Persephanie's shoulder. "Here why don't we go in and talk."
She nodded her head and didn't say a word, until she got to my bed. "So..."
I smiled and sat down real close to her. "What brought you here? Are you starting to realize you want to be with me?"
"I've already known that," She muttered and I smiled. "Nothing, I'm just bored."
"Are you sure? Coz if you were just bored, you'd most likely go to one of the divas and not me," I chuckled placing one hand on her thigh.
She looked me sharply in the eye and pressed on my left cheek firmly. "I'm really not a big fan of you playing games John, it's not very appealing to me."
I laughed and parted her hand from my face. "I'm not playing a game, it's just really how I am."
"Right…" Persephanie glared at me and smiled. "John I really need you to be serious…"
"Baby I am serious. I'm serious with trying to get you back, serious with how much I want you, serious with how I want us to be, serious with deciding for a new haircut…"
"A new haircut?" Persephanie laughed. "I like your haircut right now though."
"Thanks," I smiled, squeezing her hand tighter. "No but seriously, why did you come here?"
She shrugged and looked down. "I don't know, what do you think?"
"I don't know that's why I'm asking you!" I exclaimed laughing.
She smiled and turned her body towards my direction. It only made me even more nervous because every time I was near her, my heartbeat would shoot up to more than a hundred beats per minute. I was like a lost little puppy whenever she was with me. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know how to speak, I didn't seem to know anything except just sit there and stare at her. I was blindsided by her voice and beauty and it drove me nuts that she wasn't mine.
"Well..." She started to say something but hesitated. I encouraged her to tell me but she shook her head and we ended up staring straight into each other's eyes for the longest time. It was like that with her, we didn't need to speak to know what each other was thinking. We can read each other's minds through our eyes, now I don't know if it's just me but I think I call that true love.
"John…" She said softly.
I nodded my head and pulled closer to her. She smiled up at me, running her hand down my hair and over to the back of my neck. I grinned and spoke up, "I want you back so bad, even if just for tonight…"
Her smile grew bigger as the space between us lessened. She pushed my head forward, toward hers, and gave me one small peck. "That's what I came here for…"
----------------------------------------------------
"Oh my gosh…" Persephanie sighed, placing the sheets over her bare body. "That was- the best sex I have ever had in my whole entire life"
I continued to gain back my breath as I replied back to her. "We made love Sephie, we didn't have sex."
"Whatever John. Either way you call it, that was amazing." Persephanie said, filling in her eyes with excitement.
"Yeah we could've kept going through the whole night. I didn't know why you had to stop it," I complained, turning my body over hers. I placed my forearm on the bed, careful not to crush her petit body.
"No! Baby if we kept going I'd probably die from the fast heart rate," She laughed, placing a hand over her chest. "And it still wont stop beating!"
"Baby it's not suppose to stop beating!" I laughed, pushing her hair behind her ear.
"I know but it's still beating fast!" She exclaimed, somewhat trying to catch for air.
I smiled and placed my hand over the contour of her neck, giving it a soft kiss. "Well then let me calm you down."
"No, John don't even touch me! I think having you near me, makes my heart beat go up," Persephanie laughed.
"Hell no!" I snapped, locking her down, beneath my body. "I just made love to you and there is no way am I gonna let history repeat itself. You're sleeping the night here with me and there's nothing you can do about it."
"I know!" Persephanie exclaimed. "I wasn't fighting you against that."
I smiled and gave her lip a peck. "Good, coz I think I'm ready for you to fall asleep with me."
----------------------------------------------------
I woke up rolling over to my side, hoping and wishing that Persephanie would be there in my embrace. Nah, I guess wishes don't always come true. I groaned in frustration that she had the nerve to leave me again, after that night of fantasy. I stood up and dragged my foot unwittingly across the room. I touched the knob to the bathroom shocked to see it open before I even got the chance to turn it.
"John!" Persephanie exclaimed, opening the door fully. "You're awake!"
"You're still here!" I returned, giving her a hug. "I thought you left me again."
"I never left you John, you were always the one to leave," Persephanie said softly, removing herself off of my embrace.
"I never intentionally do it though," I said, cupping her cheeks. "It just happens…"
She rolled her eyes and dragged me back to bed. "We need to talk."
"Oh shit!" I cursed. "Those four words are like the replacement of 'we're breaking up'."
"No it isn't," Persephanie laughed. "Besides we can't break up, we're not even together."
"We should be," I smiled, tugging on her hand.
"No…" She said slowly. "I just got off the phone with Dave and some other people."
"Shit," I cursed again. "I told you this was bad."
"All I have to say is that don't get your hopes up just because we had sex last night," She said.
"Dammit stop saying 'sex', I really don't like that word. Plus, I never get my hopes up. I keep fighting till I reach my goal, and there's never a second in my mind I think I'm there until I have it right in front of my face to prove it." I said in satisfactory.
"Okay well then good for you," She grinned sarcastically.
"Are you mad?" I asked, switching moods from happy to upset.
"I don't know, I never know anything whenever I'm with you," She shrugged and moved away from me.
"You confuse the hell outta me sometimes. One minute you're making out with me and the next you're acting like you don't want me," I exclaimed getting out of the bed and crossing my arms. "Lately I've been thinking about just fighting away from you rather than for you. You're playing with my emotions and it's not helping the love I have for you."
"Well then just leave! If you don't have a problem with leaving me then neither do I! Besides you broke off our relationship so this is all your fault!" She yelled.
"That's why I'm trying to get you back! I'm working on getting you back, and I'd be finished by now if you weren't such a bitch about everything!" I exclaimed.
She smiled and stood up as well. "Well John Cena, don't think this bitch will just hand their heart to you right when you tell them you need it. I fell for that mistake before and I'm not going to fall for it again. If you have a problem with having to wait for me, either deal with it or leave it."
I frowned and walked over to her. "Oh so are you saying that falling in love with me was a mistake?" She shook her head and I continued on. "I'm not trying to start a fight with you."
"This isn't a fight John, I'm just telling you the truth. You seem so damn mad at me for being in love with someone else!"
"No, I'm not mad at you for that! I'm just mad coz you seem to deny the fact that you're still in love with me," I explained more calmly. "All I'm asking from you is to stop playing with my emotions. I hate how you do one thing and act the total opposite the next minute!"
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "When you love someone you know you love them but to be honest John, I really don't know if I do love you or not."
I shook my head in disbelief. "No, you're lying."
"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not! But as of right now I think I want to go home and be back with Dave."
"That's bullshit," I sat down, turning my back to her. "If you want to leave, go ahead. But don't be shocked when you see me again with someone else."
"Oh wow, that's nice to know!" Persephanie backed up and waited for me to say something but all I did was lay my head back down on the pillow and drifted off to sleep.
----------------------------------------------------
My eyes slowly opened up, completely forgetting about Persephanie until I spotted a note from her on the nightstand. I sighed and unfolded it:
John,
I'm sorry. That's all I can really say to you right now. I know that having me act different every time you see me is giving you all the reasons to give up on me, but I'm just confused. I never once had a guy in my life, not even a boyfriend, not even a brother, and not even a dad. That is until you came along. You showered me with love, time, and passion and I can never thank you enough. I guess it just really hurt me when you left because I thought you and me would never be separated. All you have to keep in mind is that I'm still the same person you fell in love with. You just got to make me fall in love with you all over again. And to be quite honest I think that's the easiest job I can give you.
Always and Forever,
Sephie. (A/N: ooh notice how it says Sephie for John but Persephanie for Dave.)
I read over the letter a couple more times and disposed it. Yes, disposed it. I threw it away because I knew that it'd only drive me to more pain. She was right. I was getting my hopes up, and I didn't like it. My heart was hurting just because of the simple fact that Persephanie wasn't with me. I hated this feeling, and as of now I'm fighting out of that feeling. If it just so happens that Persephanie and I land on each other's arms again, then I guess we really were meant to be. But other than that, I'll let everything just fall into place. I'm sick of this feeling; having to watch Persephanie be with Dave when it was clear she's in love with me. I'm sick of it. Tired, depressed, and done. She can fight away from me all she wants coz that's the exact same thing I'm doing to her.
----------------------------------------------------
Persephanie's POV.
I loved him. John. I loved him. I thought I loved Dave too but I guess no man that you love should be one to strike you across the face. I placed my hand over my jaw, feeling liquid drip down my face. I had slammed my face down on the ground pretty fast and hard when Dave's hand flew to hit me.
"How could you?" he kneeled down and pushed my face up to match his. "Sleeping with someone else is over the line but doing it on my own bed is just danger"
"I'm sorry," I apologized, looking down. I was scared to death to look in his eyes because I knew flaring anger with him could cause a lot of trouble. Especially at this point in time, I mean I just got back from seeing another man, I told him that I've been sleeping with John, and to top all that off he was drunk and hurt. That's the probably the worst combination you can ever put him in. Mad, hurt, and drunk. There was never anything in between with Dave. He either loved you with all his heart or he hated you with all his heart. Same with his mood, he was either gentle and calm or blaring with anger and ready to kill someone.
"I'm sorry? Persephanie sorry isn't gonna fix the fact that some other guy laid their hand on you the way I'm suppose to! Damn if you hadn't been acting like a slut maybe John would have kept everything in his pants and left you alone!" He stood up, kicking my knee in the process.
Tears slid down my cheeks both by emotional pain and physical as well. I had started bleeding from my open cut just above my eyebrows and the throbbing pain kept gushing over my bruise just below my jaw. Every inch of my body seemed to be in pain to the point where I could feel my veins beating up and down from the fast heart rate.
"You better feel like a slut tonight because you're getting an encore of that night when you were sixteen," Dave picked me off the ground, and aggressively threw me on the bed.
If my mind hadn't been so mixed up I woulda thought that my own boyfriend was going to rape me. And I was damn right. There was never a day in my whole life that was as cruel as this one.
----------------------------------------------------
I woke up with everything opposite of how it was suppose to be. My clothes were ripped and splattered all over the floor, Dave was gone, bloodstains were everywhere, and my stomach was still throbbing in complete pain. I slowly tried to sit up, which was way harder than I thought it would be. I pushed strands of my hair behind my ear but it just fell right back to it's place. I pulled my knees to me, resting my head on it for the remaining minutes before Dave walked in.
"Persephanie…" He's eyes weakened, searching every inch of my body, seeing bruises and cuts that he made. "I was drunk…"
Tears fell down my face, as I kept silent. I couldn't talk to him, and dammit I couldn't even look at him. I accepted the fact that he struck me across the face last night, but raping me was over the line. He very well knew that was my weakness, and that it was the one thing I never wanted to go through again. But that still didn't stop him from doing so. I hated him but at the same time I couldn't leave him. I love him. Yes, I've fallen for him, unfortunately.
He slowly made his way to the bed, laying one hand gently on my head. I started shaking, scared that he'd hurt me again, "Don't Dave please don't…"
"I wont," He leaned closer to me, examining the cut I had over my eyebrows. "I drank too much last night, I didn't know what I was doing."
I continued shaking but I tried to speak up. "That's not an excuse Dave. You did what you did and there's nothing you could say to cover it up."
"I know but finding out that another guy's been on my bed with my girlfriend pissed the hell outta me," Dave explained, soberly. "Look babes, you know I'd never hit you on purpose. You know I love you."
"Then why are you trying so hard to push me away?" I asked finally able to speak up fully to him. "You've cheated on me, you've hit me, you've given up on me and yet you're still standing there, telling me you love me. How the hell am I suppose to believe that?"
"You're just gonna have to trust me," Dave said softly, running his hand down my hair.
"I don't think I can ever trust anyone but myself anymore," I said locking eyes with the ground and hugging my knees closer to me.
Dave sighed knowing I didn't want to talk anymore. He always got the point I was trying to give him, and I respected him for that. At least I use to.
----------------------------------------------------
He really is here to stay, and as hard as I try to deny it, John truly does love and care for me.
I stood there watching the two men I love, standing eye to eye with each other. It scared the hell outta me, seeing anger flare up in both of them. "Don't make this any harder for me guys, please!" I begged in tears. "I'm gonna have a complete break down if any of you two get hurt."
"Yeah but no one has the right to put their hand on you like that," John whispered, not taking his eyes off his opponent.
"She's my girlfriend bro, I have every right to do what I did to her last night," Dave replied back smiling.
"Oh what like giving her bruises and cuts? Man, you sure have a funny way of showing someone you love them. First you cheat on her and now this? Are you trying to get the 'worst boyfriend' title or something?"
"No, I think you've won that already. At least I'm still here and I never left her like you did," Dave chuckled, backing up.
"Oh wow that's so much better than abusing her!" John laughed sarcastically. "Look man, it's like fifty says, it's either I'll be with Persephanie or I'll die trying."
"Die? How bout I approve that for you now?" Dave swung the same fist he had hit me with, smack on John's right cheek. John, being a wrestler, would typically gain the advantage but Dave tackled him to floor, making his movements fast enough for John to not catch him. It was that simple rule, don't get hit and you'll be alright. The two guys continued to get on with it, but one mistake that Dave made caused him the whole fight. John took his hardest punch that he ever threw in his life, blacking out his opponent the very next second.
"Oh my gosh!" I screamed running over to Dave. "John look what you did!"
"Damn I'ma kill myself if you tell me your mad coz I punched your fucking boyfriend!" John exclaimed, keeping hard pressure put to his busted lip with his thumb. "I'm sick of this. I gave up on you just yesterday but I came back right after Randy told me Dave raped you. Now I think it's a mistake coz you're still here fighting for him after what he's done to you."
I stared him straight in the eye, and looked down at Dave. He was unconscious and barely breathing. "We need to take him to the hospital."
"Hell no!" John cursed standing up.
"He's not breathing John you punched him too hard!" I exclaimed, dragging Dave upward to stand up.
"Yeah well look at me! My lip's busted open and I can't even move my arm," John protested but I cut him off.
"-at least you're still breathing. Now if you don't wanna help me take him to the hospital then that's your own problem, but I'm going," I said content.
He sighed and moved a foot to the right, giving me space to walk to the door with Dave. "Then go ahead. I'm not gonna stop you from being with him."
My heart dropped fully knowing he really has given up on me. The clock thickens and my worry for Dave was growing every second. "I have to go."
John stared at me blankly and shrugged. I lost him, and therefore I lost everything.
Jhen's Note: haha if you considered that drama, then there's more coming up. you'll see why Sephie's being this way. REVIEW please. thanks to all.
xoxo. jhen
