Hello darlings

How are you all doing? I'm studying quite a bit, that's why I haven't been as active. I'm sorry if this chapter sucks but I did my best (not really but lets believe that for my own sake) Haven't seen the new HP movie but I'm kind of afraid to do it? I heard bad things for the most part and I really don't want to ruin my idea of HP. Please leave a comment or a review so I can upload the next one!

A little bit of love and joy

Everything you do bears a will

And a why and a wherefore

A little bit of love and joy

In each and every soul lies a man

And very soon he'll deceive and discover

But even to the end of his life

He'll bring a little love

Natalia never felt more embarrassed than she did as the alcohol from the night drifted away. She had carried herself to her bedroom, both arms hugging her own frame, holding a black sweater she wanted to bury in Azkaban, eyes glued to the floor and silent as a lamb. She had expected to be able to talk with Jane about it but the witch was fast asleep and when she had tried to wake her up, the taller blonde began throwing up, forcing Natalia to clean it up before any of her roommates could wake up and notice, or what was worse, smell it.

She didn't want to be alone, because if she was alone it meant she had time to think, and if she had time to think, she would do it over what had just happened hours ago and thinking of that made her want to die out of embarrassment. She couldn't believe what they'd done, what she had done. The feeling of uneasiness was so strong in fact, that she had woken up at 6 on a Saturday morning, a day when she normally wouldn't dream of opening her eyes before 10:30 am.

She walked into the common room, hoping her eyes didn't look as red as she though they would after such a small amount of sleep. She hadn't cried yet, in fact, she didn't know if she even wanted to. The feeling on her chest felt nothing but strange, she felt things in a way she'd never felt them before. She did feel embarrassed but she wasn't sure if she regretted what had happened the previous night, one little part of her thought that maybe, just maybe, it was for the better.

According to the little amount of things she knew about the subject, when Sirius Black had kissed her neck she had let out a few groans, which meant she liked that; and when she had kissed him on the neck, he tried to hide a bump on his pants, which meant he liked it, and that whole thing made her want to hide her face under a gnome's hole and let them kick her until she died, and she wasn't even being dramatic.

He had taken off his sweater and when he left the room forgot about it and left it there, making Natalia the responsible one to hide the evidence, so she took it to her room, with all the shame that it implied and put it next to his other sweater, which she still had from Hagrid's night, inside her trunk. If she kept on with her odd behavior, soon her trunk would have more of Sirius Black's clothes than her own.

She had dared to touch him too, not a lot but he seemed to like it. Of course it was only over his trousers but it still made the neck kissing increase, thing she liked. Now, without fire whisky, she didn't like any of those things anymore and found it hard to imagine anyone else would.

They kept making out for hours and when they lay down on the floor he fell asleep for a while, one of his hands over her chest; she did the same. Natalia was the one to wake up first to find the reckless feeling from the firewhisky long gone and that the touch of the lion who laid next to her only burned; she woke him up to let him know and when they heard footsteps again, he got up to leave and she waited for him to do it for her to follow as well.

When she woke up the next morning, she took a long bath after she double checked on Jane, making sure the young witch hadn't stoped breathing during her sleep. She was in fact so distracted, that she forgot to add bubbles to her bath, something she always did. She didn't stop washing herself until every single place Sirius had touched smelled of peaches.

Everything about the previous night embarrassed her, but nothing nearly as much as the things she had said to him. Apparently, she fancied him, something that as much as it hurt her to admit, made sense, however, she didn't discard the possibility that perhaps she just wanted them to be friends, as she had stated before. In her warm bathtub, she admitted that whatever the feelings she had for the boy had been there for quite a while, perhaps ever since the day they got detention together, more than a month ago.

The common room was deserted, everyone clearly still sleeping from the previous night party. The dark colours of her house which had always felt so comforting then felt utterly depressing and frivolous; she wished she was home, under the embrace of her own room and own bed.

She decided to lay down on the large sofa, and by doing so began thinking about the Black boy again, wondering If he was also awake thinking of her or was sleeping like a baby, not even caring about what had happened; she quickly tried to make the thoughts go away. She was feeling terrible! Why was she still thinking of him when he had embarrassed her in the most terrible of ways? He kissed her and took away her first kiss after she had left her heart out and he had said nothing about it? Really unfair, she thought.

Yes, it was her first kiss. One she wanted to have with someone who adored her and truly liked her, perhaps her future husband, she'd have fancied; Sirius Black neither adored her nor wanted to become her husband.

Deciding she could no longer keep torturing herself on the wait for someone to wake up and keep her company, she decided to go after the only person she could think of. Really, the only person in the castle besides Jane who she felt she could trust. It wasn't that she would confess herself to this person, nothing good would come out of that, but she wanted to be on the company of someone who loved her no matter what.

She crawled into Simon's bed and saw that she would be facing his back, which made her smile. Natalia got herself comfortable, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them, resting her back against her brother's. Her touch made him aware that someone was there in a matter of seconds, always being a light sleeper unlike his twin. Of course, even on the sleepiest of states, he had no doubt who that person was.

"What? Tally? Wha—what're you doing here?"

"I had a nightmare" she lied, her voice sounding fragile, which backed up the neightmare scape goat but had deeper motives than that.

Simon sighed, sitting up. With his legs crossed, he looked over his sister and realized that there was definitely something wrong with her. There, she looked way smaller than she already was on a daily basis. Call it twin sense or whatever, but he could tell he was dealing with something more than just a nightmare, but he wasn't about to mention it.

She used to do that quite a lot when they were children whenever something would make her upset. She'd just get into his room without even calling and both would lay back against back, Simon not really minding it, telling each other stories to get her distracted about whatever was torturing her mind. Like the night before their first year at Hogwarts when Natalia had been so scared about ending up in Hufflepuff and she only calmed down after Simon reassured her that there was no way they'd like someone who didn't share her sweets into that house, making her laugh so hard she had peed on her pants. She had also done that a lot on times when their mother would get upset about things she did, which she thought were silly and Simon assured her not to pay any mind to.

Their father had told them that that's how they used to always lay when babies whenever the elves would try to put them to nap in the same crib. He thought they liked doing that because he assumed that was the way he would've been positioned while in their mother's womb.

The memories from his childhood only made him produce somehow of a smile and soon he laid down again, his back against hers. He felt her shoulders relax upon the touch, and that made him smile. He would had liked to offer some other words, to let her know that she could trust him with whatever was making her feel upset, but he was a man, and men didn't do those things; instead, he did what he knew best, try to distract her and hope she'd smile.

"A first year fancies me" he let out "She left a poem for me after Quidditch practice; did you know my eyes shine more than a hundred constellations?"

She giggled and kicked him softly with the back of her foot.

• • •

She took a sip out of her butterbeer and rested her cheek on her hand. None of the two witches who were sitting together at Hogsmeade seemed to be happy. It was indeed strange none of them were speaking, since it seemed to be their hobby of preference when together.

The tallest girl hadn't even wanted to get out of the castle, too embarrassed anyone from the party would recognize her, but Simon Yaxley had invited both her and his sister for butterbeer, his treat. He had paid for the whole lot and enjoyed a few minutes with them, mainly talking nonsenses with his twin, but soon he had abandoned them for some kind of important meeting with some other boys from their house who stopped by and told him to go with them.

"So…" Natalia began "you really threw up on his shoes?" she asked with a tiny smile, glad to know at least someone else had done embarrassing things that night.

Jane hid her face immediately, resting her forearms over the table while shaking her head with embarrassment, a large groan full of displeasure escaping her mouth. That was the very topic she had been trying to avoid even thinking about for the whole day, hoping that after mentioning it to her friend she wouldn't have to talk about it anymore for at least another century or so.

"I can't believe I got into such a state last night" she finally managed to say, raising her head up only slightly "I'd rather receive a dementor's kiss than facing James in class tomorrow. Oh, Nat, please throw me in Azkaban and let me rot there"

Natalia laughed a bit, the conversation serving her as a distraction from her own torments which were still very present in the back of her mind.

"He's Potter. He won't embarrass you, I think"

"He's still going to remember! I am going to remember. And what's even worse, the people around us will probably remember too"

"Aw, Jane, I'm sure everyone else was too drunk to even notice or recognize who you were. Stop giving yourself a harsh time, besides I—

And she was unable to finish that sentence because when she looked up she saw the very same person she had been trying to get out of her head for the whole day; the boy who she had given her first kiss to, at the Herbology classroom; the boy who she had learned to despise to later be having strange feelings for. And he was looking at her too.

• • •

"Prongs look who's there" Peter shouted, clearly amused, a bit louder than he should have.

James was left with no other option but to tell his friends about the whole Jane incident. There was no point lying to them since they would all soon find out one way or another, a lot of people had been around them the night of the party. He had said nothing about the kiss attempt; he thought it was way too private and that Jane wouldn't appreciate him telling people about it. He didn't want them to make Jane feel uncomfortable, since despite all that had happened, she was still his friend and he was still somehow of a gentleman.

After what happened James had tried to find Yaxley so she could take the other Slytherin to their common room but was unable to do so, since there seemed to be no trace of Natalia anywhere. He looked after the other two girls from the snake's house but he was informed they had left several minutes ago, too bored to stay. He was left with no other option than walking the girl by himself with her poor guidance, of course; good thing was that he already had an idea of where the common room was, thanks to the map; too bad he had never tried to go there by his own means.

On his way there, he noticed how several people were looking at them and whispering things to their friends as they passed, not that he cared. As his mother said, 'Gossip, as usual, is one-third right and two-thirds wrong" so they could talk all they wanted.

Then the very next morning, Frank told him that his girlfriend, Alice told him that Lily had noticed too and she had shown interest on that. He really didn't know how to feel about that kind of information. For once, Lily had been interested in something that concerned him without him having anything to do with it; she had been asking things about him, for Merlin's beard! But then again, what if she thought he was really involved with Jane? Then all his chances were screwed.

"Don't stare, Wormtail. You'll make her uncomfortable" Remus reprimanded him.

Peter obeyed but both Sirius and James couldn't help to keep staring at the two Slytherins. Since they were facing at Jane's back James knew she couldn't see them but it was another whole story with Yaxley, who had clearly noticed the sets of eyes over her, making her cheeks go slightly pink.

Thinking about what Remus had just said, James looked away, ready to walk to the closest table so they could all order and so the rest of his friends followed him; all, except for Sirius who stood there motionless, his eyes stuck on the blonde. He, unlike James, had not told anyone about what he did with the other Slytherin.

Both purebloods, the Slytherin and the Gryffindor were in fact staring so intensely that Jane had to turn her head to see what on earth had caught her friend's attention in such a way, but the minute she noticed James was in the room too, her entire pale face went bright red and she had to turn her eyes back to the front.

Sirius was the first one to break the staring contest, making the girl look down while she began playing with the ends of her hair, which funny enough she seemed to find incredibly interesting at the moment.

"What happened?" Jane frowned

"Nothing" she rushed to answer "Come on, finish up your drink. It's nearly full, Jane. I want to buy sweets"

"I don't feel so hungry… I think I'll be sick again"

Natalia rolled her eyes, divided between her annoyance at Jane being so oblivious about the fact that Natalia was actually hiding something so big and at the same time relieved that she actually hasn't noticed. She knew she couldn't keep the secret secretive forever, and she neither wanted to, Jane was her best friend and deserved to know, she just wasn't ready yet. How was she supposed to explain it to someone when she couldn't even explain it to herself.

"Whatever. I'll go to the loo and when I come back we leave"

Meanwhile, a few tables away from them they boys were trying to decide what to order. James was already back into his normal self, listening to Remus' story with full attention. He was telling them something about this first year he had given detention to a few days ago and who did something hilarious; both, Jane's incident and Lily's questions long forgotten for the moment as he waited for his usual order. The black haired boy however wasn't as lucky, for his mind was still set on the very same thing he had been thinking ever since the party.

"Oi, Padfoot!" James called, throwing a napkin to his friend

"Huh?"

"We asked if you wanted a butterbeer as well" James said with a frown "Are you alright? You've been off ever since last night."

"James' right. Do you want to talk about it or —

"I'm aright, really… just… have some stuff on my mind right now"

Remus nodded

"Is it Marlene?"

"I told you she looked upset this morning!" Peter exclaimed quite happily, as if please to be right for once about something.

Sirius denied with his head, ignoring Peter's tone which on some other times would've surely infuriated him. To be quite honest with himself, the blonde Gryffindor was the last person on his mind. Then, he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to meet with her again after he took off with Yaxley. He left out a groan while burying his head under his arms, just what he needed, more girl drama.

"Just get me a butterbeer" he muttered and it took his friends a couple of seconds to figure out what he had tried to say since his mouth was covered by his sweater.

It was only when he saw Natalia Yaxley stand up and head down to the toilets that he did the second most stupid thing he could've done in a period of two days. Without even thinking about it, about the kind of consequences it could produce- just as he had done the previous night; he stood up quickly and ignored his friend's odd looks as he walked towards where she had just disappeared into.

He waited for her outside the small aisle in front of the bathrooms. It had occurred to him to follow her inside but the thought soon died off, knowing probably there would be some other girls in there and that they wouldn't be pleased with him being inside; not to mention that they could get very suspicious about the fact he had followed the Slytherin to such a place.

He found himself about to leave multiple times, but the need to talk to her was bigger. He found ill at ease the fact that he actually needed to exchange words with the girl. He had kissed multiple girls during his life; Merlin, he had even had sex with a few of them. The problem was, all those other girls he had kissed and been with, they were all nice witches, and none he had felt the need to feel embarrassed of. Natalia Yaxley? A whole different story. He wouldn't dream of his friends ever finding out about it; he'd rather them believe he was a squib rather than the possibility that he found any interest in a blood supremacist who had in more than one occasion talked badly about many people they knew and cared about; and he also was sure they'd be much more understanding of the first (him being as quib, that was)

The worst part was that he hadn't even been that drunk the previous night, as much as he hated to avow. He did stop and think for a second that the person he was about to kiss was everything he swore to hate; he had simply chosen to ignore it. He realized that the simple thought of even talking to someone like Natalia Yaxley was like telling his mother he would join the one who must not be named's lines to kill muggles and blood traitors; Merlin, he could even see her priggish smile, knowing she had gotten what she wanted one more time. Yet, he hadn't care about nothing of those things he was thinking of now during the previous night.

Almost as bad, he had actually enjoyed it. It was one of the best experiences he had ever had, and that was scary. He had snogged Marlene, the prettiest girl in the castle about a hundred times, yet he was almost certain had never enjoyed any of their snogging sessions as much as the one with the Slytherin witch.

Maybe the reason why he had done such a thing was just because of what she said to him. She had clearly almost confessed she fancied him and to say the truth he wasn't really that much against that idea. Maybe it was the effect those words had on him that helped him realize that he wasn't as repulsed by her personality as much as he thought he was. There was something different about her and he wanted to know what it was. It still didn't make what he did okay. He told himself that perhaps he was just too delighted with the idea of someone who hated the plain idea of him could have any kind of feelings towards him and that was why he did it.

When Natalia Yaxley came out of the toilets, he tried to say something but words wouldn't come out of his mouth, something that had never happened to him when it came to girls. Was he nervous? That was simply ridiculous. He was a Gryffindor and most importantly, he was Sirius Black.

She looked at him for a few seconds and she could notice her cheeks were going red. When she got the feeling that he was about to say an actual word, she left as soon as her legs allowed her to, leaving him speechless and confused.

As old witches say, those rich kids lack of some much in their lives they can't help but to create problems for themselves. And what a big one had Natalia Yaxley and Sirius Black started.