Running on 4 hours of sleep ready to conquer the day! WHOOH!

-Miche


Chapter 11: Return

It had been a week since I came home and discovered my brother alive and married. Yes. Saxon was now home again. In his attempt to explain that he left to elope with a girl he had just recently started dating, he only made things worse between himself and us. We never spoke after that initial explanation and I had left to my room after coming home that night.

His new bride's name was Coral. Coral Fisherson. She was two years behind me in schooling, and had shown no interest in training for the games, her parents not wanting to put her through it all. He only married her so soon to save her next year from the reapings. It wouldn't make a difference if one just married young in our government, but if a girl were pregnant or someone was so terribly ill that they couldn't leave the hospital, the peacekeepers would ban you from entering into the Hunger Games (as most people here were wanting to volunteer).

What gave him the power to even come back? What made Saxon even want to return here? Surely not me, because he would have never left. He of course would get married and come home the same night I was to tell everyone about my relationships. Once again, he was number one.

The meal between all of us was silent, until Saxon cleared his throat.

"So. Anything new with anyone?" No one said anything for a solid minute or two. The arguments here were still fresh to us all, and I'm sure the only reason we were all still here was because we made family a priority (even when it was unnecessary and very much unwanted).

"Well, Adriana took up a new caretaker position at the boys school. She's helping with those parents who have handicapped children."

"That's good, Troy. And she'd happy there?"

"Seems to be so far. It's only been a week."

"Meeting any boys up in that fancy school of yours?" My father asked. It was direct of him to be asking me that since I'd never really shared much about those things. I laughed at his remark. He always hated the thought of me being involved with a boy. "Is that a yes?" my smile turned a bit sour as I tried thinking of a way to tell him. However, we could be considered in a relationship since the coffee buying, and flirting.

"Dad, here's the thing-"

"What's his name-?" Troy asked.

"There's been a man-"

"How long have you known him?"

"About two and a half months, but dad-"

"You never told me this." he was surprised I'd keep something like that from him. I had good reason to ,seeing who exactly this "boy" was and the age difference between us. both Sen and I had a bond, and we knew it. My father didn't and wouldn't understand the complexity of how we met and decided to continue forward with each other. It was mutual from the beginning.

Words didn't come easy for me.

"Because It's complex." I sighed trying to distract from the seriousness of it. We were in the living room, so I picked up a magazine. "It's hard to explain."

"Do you love him, or something?" Troy jokingly guessed, but seeing my facial expression he sobered up. "Really-?"

"What? No, I don't 'love him', we're just really," what was the word, "connected." I didn't want him knowing we were already at the level. "We're very close."

"How long have you known him?"

"Technically, I've known of him since before my games." T?hey all wanted to hear more. "We started talking shortly after I started school."

"What is he like?"

"Well, he's kind, and empathetic towards people. He has a bright smile that could light up a room, and a very contagious laugh." I noticed my unconscious smiling. "He would never hurt me, and always promises to me when I'm going through rough stages, that he's always there to talk. He just... He gets me."

"I'm assuming I know him."

"Sure, I think you do."

"So what does he do?"

"He's an architect." That wasn't a lie. My father's face dropped to a frown. What did I say?

"Wait," Saxon began. "So it isn't Finnick we're talking about?" I dropped my fork on my plate, and felt like vomiting. Had no one told him about why I had a mental break down? My face was sour, but I couldn't help it. "What?"

"Really?" II smiled to keep myself from shaking in rage.

"What?"

"No one told him?" I looked at Troy and my father, even April. She had a concept as to what happened, but had never been told the entire truth.

"Told me what?"

"About my PTSD?" he still looked clueless. "My depression? Suicide failure? Because both you and Finnick were gone?" He looked afraid to be sitting next to me and uncomfortable about me talking about my raw emotions that freely.

"No. No one told me any of this." He looked at the family with distaste that he wasn't informed and warned that things like that could trigger me. "Wait, what happened? There were other things I had to do-"

"Bullshit. 'Things you needed to do'? You didn't think I could win, that's why you left." I continued to cut my meat, stab it really.

"Let's drop the subject, watch our language around the kids, and put this aside before either of you says something you'll regret later, okay?" I tried my best to hold my tongue around my nephews, but sometimes things slip out. "So, this boy: did you meet him in a class?" Of course he was going to disapprove and want this to end immediately.

"No. At a coffee shop near by." His now once smile was almost a grimace. I was more defensive and nervous. "In the Capitol."

"What is he studying?" Troy questioned, face filled with food. When I wasn't answering his question, he grew suspicious.

"He's not studying." My false smile and nervous tone wasn't making things better.

"Has his bachelor's already?"

"Masters actually. In business and-"

"How old is he?" Should I lie about it? No. Lying to my father was like trying to kill a two headed snake.

"He's older..."

"Rain? How much older?"

"He... He's thirty-two ." My calm and stoic father turned horror struck with a look of disapproval. I knew this wouldn't end well by the faces of my brothers around me.

"Holy sh-" he sighed standing to control is words. The entire room stood still for what seemed like an eternity before either one of us spoke again. "Wh..." He attempted. "What were you thinking-?"

"Dad, he's-"

"He's taking advantage of you." Sax immediately said.

"He cares about me and is good to me-"

"Isn't he old?" April didn't know anything...

"You've only just turned eighteen, what few months ago-?" Troy had to get a word in.

"I'm nineteen-"

"Doesn't change a damn thing, Rain. Do you even realize how much older than you he is?" My father ridiculed me as I stayed silent once more. "Thirteen years... Thirteen years, Rain... God...I mean... really? What the fuck-?"

"Cade!" Adriana shouted at him, shocked he'd swear in front of her children like that. It didn't stop or even phase my father at this point.

"Is this some joke you're trying to play on me?"

"No-"

"Are your brother's or Finnick in on it too?"

"No! Dad I'm finally happy! Why can't you just accept that-?!"

"Because I didn't think my own daughter would end up like - like - those types of people!"

"What kinds of people?" My voice was a bit steadier after I took a breath. I really didn't want to get into arguments over this, especially with how fast my relationship with Sen has gone and where it was leading.

"Those 'Capitolist' freaks. The reason we have to live in fear that April will be in those games-"

I couldn't control my breathing as it raced in and out, nor the adrenaline pulsing through my veins. I could however control what I did with those responses to my anger. I chose to run. My fight was over.

My coat couldnt come on fast enough as I raced to just leave this house and everyone in it. The regret for leaving the idea of my family stung in my chest and eyes, but I brushed them off with my anger they caused.

"Rain, none of us would think that you'd be a whore. Whore's are people like Finnick, who sell themselves to the people of the Capitol-"

"You don't know anything about what he does." I accused him. He was taken back by my attack, and sat back down.

"At least tell us, who that guy is?" Saxon wanted to know?

"Seneca Crane: the man I've been sleeping with for the last two months."

"Rain!" Saxon yelled from our front door. I stiffened my back after choosing to leave once more, and quickened my pace. Up ahead, a man with a briefcase and shoulder bag stopped walking just past the street light. I couldn't see who it was, but kept walking in his direction. "Rain Stop!" Why did people keep asking me what was wrong and then keep grabbing me to get my attention? Obviously if I ignored you, there must be a reason.

"No!" I shook my arm, trying to get free, but only to fail. "Stop, please-"

"We didn't mean to offend you-"

"I just need to be alone-"

"Let me explain-!"

"Hey, she needs some space-" Finnick tried explaining. Finnick?

"She's my sister, I think I know how to deal with her-"

"She just said she needs to be alone." Finnick stood in front of me. It was different seeing him so protective now, when I wasn't even sure where we stood. We all had seen the clouds earlier in the day, and just now heard the thunder from the sky. "Don't Make this out to be more than it should be." one last crack of thunder and the downpour began, soaking us all in seconds.

"I'm not, I'm just keeping my sister from making more mistakes with the man who already messed her up-"

"From the looks of it you have not room to talk."

"You don't need to be the center of attention all the time, Finnick. You do know there's more to life than the Hunger Games right-?"

"Do you, Saxon?" Finn shut him off. "because from what I know of you, all you've ever done was run away from the Games. I mean half the reason you got married to Coral was to get her away from them, right?" Saxon stopped speaking. He looked at him and then me with such a detested and disappointed look, it made me regret everything said between us. there wasn't any way for me to take it back, but watching him walk away stabbed me in the heart. Once again, I had done something I'd regret.

Everything I remembered about Finnick hurting me, me acting irrationally in response and every decision up til now, was out the window. I just needed peace for one moment. After this I would hate him again, but I just needed someone to listen.