CHAPTER ELEVEN

It wasn't the last message Joe got. Over the course of the next few days Joe had received one a day.

Can you really trust him?

They're watching him and you.

Don't you think he's acting strange?

They need eyes on the inside.

Are you really sure you can trust him?

Miles shrugged them off as someone's attempts to intimidate, or to make him doubt his team, and Joe agreed but he wasn't quite able to get them out of his mind. He didn't know who they were referring to and that scared him more than what they indicated.

~WHITECHAPEL~

"Em, you can't be serious?" Robin asked from his bedside.

The young man simply hung his head sadly, unable to discuss his fears further.

"Em, I've met the man and with everything you've told me about him, he's not the kind of man who's going to ditch you over a couple of scares."

"We're not talking a small blemish on an arm or leg here Rob, we're talking disgusting disfigurements, that he'll see whenever we…." he trailed off, swallowing back the bile that always rose when he thought about it.

"Jesus Em." Robin snapped frustrated "He'll understand. He's not perfect either. Besides you've been together almost a year…" she reminded him. "And he's said he loves you, he's not going to throw that away because you got injured in the line of duty."

Emerson could see his friend's anger and frustration but she just didn't get it, she couldn't understand how it was going to affect their relationship.

"Your just being paranoid…" she continued. "Your scare I get that, it's the trauma. Once your back home, you'll see that it's all in your head. It'll all be fine Em, I'm sure of it."

Emerson shrugged nonchalantly.

"Have you talking to Joe about this?" Robin pressed with a concern.

"No."

"Why not? You need to talk to him Em. How is he meant to help you through this if he doesn't even know you're having problems."

Kent stared at his hands. "He's got other things on his mind."

"Em, you're his boyfriend, there's nothing more important than you."

Emerson shrugged once more. He didn't want to have this conversation. It wasn't that he didn't believe that if he called Joe and asked to see him, he'd come. He was sure Robin was right. But he couldn't face having that conversation. He didn't want to see the pity in Joe's gaze.

"What will you do when you're discharged? He's going to see them Em, when you get home. You should talk to him."

Emerson looked down at his folded hands. "I - I'm not going back to his place. I'm coming back to the flat."

"What? - Why?" Robin gasped.

"He's busy with the case; he doesn't need me getting under his feet." Emerson insisted, trying to convince himself more than his friend. "He can't look after me and focus on his job." he mumbled.

"Bullshit!" Robin snapped. "The hospital's already said a nurse could be arranged, if you needed one."

"I don't need a nurse. - You don't have to worry Rob, I'll be fine."

Robin stared wide eyed at him. "No Em, you won't. - you're running away and I get it, but you're not being fair to either yourself or Joe." she got up from the chair and moved to sit on the bed, taking his hand in hers. "Em, you're happy with Joe, I know you are. I've never seen you like this, not even with Tom. Don't throw that away. Don't let the bastards that did this to you win. Cause if this come between you, that's what you'll be doing. Just talk to him and maybe get some counseling too. You can get through this Em, I know you can."

Kent stared at their joined hands, tears burning behind his dark eyes. He wanted to believe they could get through this but he couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, where two weeks ago he could see a bright future for him and Joe now he just saw darkness.

~WHITECHAPEL~

The next day he was finally allowed to have a shower. He stood under the warm spray and sighed. The feel of finally being clean was wonderful. Droplets fell off the ends of his hair and down his face. Emerson stood there with his eyes closed; the water had a cleansing feeling. It wasn't just cleaning his skin and hair but his mind too. For days he'd been worrying over his future with Joe, sure that the man wouldn't want him now that he was damaged. Robin had told him that he was being irrational but at the time he couldn't believe it. He just couldn't imagine why anyone would want him like this. But as he stood under the refreshing water he knew he wasn't thinking straight. Robin had been right, Joe did love him, and what they had was founded on something more than just physical attraction. They'd had an indescribably connection that had been there since the moment they'd met in that bar over nine months ago.

Joe had told him in a guilty confession that he wasn't the type of guy he usually sort out, but that there had been something he just couldn't ignore, and he could say the same. He wasn't being cliché or fairytale when he thought this, he was being realistic. They'd been able to make it last, despite the secrecy and the pressure for almost a year. How could he honestly be considering throwing all that away? After all, Joe wasn't perfect, he was flawed and broken in many way, he would understand his insecurities and fears, Emerson know, and he'd help him through them. Joe would be there no matter what, just as he'd always been there for Joe.

Stepping carefully out of the shower, Emerson picked up his towel, wrapping it around his waist. Turning he noticed the large mirror and his heart constricted. He still hadn't seen just how bad the wounds were. Swallowing hard he moved so he could see his lower body in the mirror. Taking a deep breath, he turned, loosened the towel and looked over his shoulder.

The sight brought fresh tears to his eyes and his stomach rolled. What had once been a smooth mass of pale muscle and flesh was now coloured with yellow and lilac. Three straight stripes of red, crisscrossed with black stitches, running from left to right, bridging the crack between the cheeks. Emerson froze, staring at the reflection with wide watery eyes. How could he ever show Joe that? He knew that it looked worse because he hadn't fully healed yet but even once the swelling and bruising had gone and the stitches were removed, he'd still have the deep scares that would always be there, a permanent reminder of what had happen. Joe would never want to touch that.

He'll understand, he loves you, he won't care, he loves you. His mind reminded him over and over, a desperate plea ringing off the words. Trust him. Kent took another deep breath as he replaced the towel to his waist. His mind was right. If there was one thing Joe had given him over the past several months, it was the courage to face his fears. He could get through this with Joe's help and support. They could get past the stripping and carry on. Keep calm and carry on, isn't that what the posters said. Kent made a mental note to get himself one of those, as a reminder that everything was going to be fine.

He smiled to himself as he dressed. All he had to do was cling to the fact that he love Joe and Joe loved him, nothing could change that, especially not a few scares or Dukes.


TO BE CONTINUED….

THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING. PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING.

A/N: Sorry it's another short chapter. And as I'm not a doctor I'm not sure the timeline for Kent's injuries is right, in fact I'm sure it's really wrong but hey that's what dramatic license is for right. I'll get a new chapter to you as soon as I can. Thanks for sticking around.