There had been about two minutes when Loki thought the bigger stage would improve the quality of his act. Two minutes, before it came time to teach Darcy the sole box jumper in the entire show. The box wasn't built with a trick floor, because they jammed and didn't line up properly and were generally more hassle than they were worth, but now Loki was beginning to wish it had been. Loki looked at the black and chrome box on centre stage, standing tall and lonely with nothing else even close enough to it to make it work. It was on wheels, so Loki pushed it back against the backdrop and stepped away. Even from up on stage, it looked gaffed. Too much open space in front of it gave the distinct impression that its back panel was more of a door. He looked out over the house and sighed, wishing he had his tiny little pub stage again.
"Darcy, close the curtain," he said, pointing off in the general direction of the rope. While she went backstage to do that, Loki pulled the box back up to the proscenium again. With the curtain closed, the area was far more suitable for the routine, but it still made it look like something was going to happen with the curtain.
"No, I don't like that either," Loki said.
"Want me to open it again?" Darcy asked.
Loki looked at what he had to work with and sighed. "Yeah," he said. As the curtains slid open again, Loki looked back into the wings and frowned. They offered little help, so Loki looked up at the fly system. It was rudimentary at best, with just a few bars running across from either side, and just as useless as anything else backstage.
"Darcy," Loki said suddenly, giving the box a light push forward. "Can you move this?"
"The box?" Darcy stepped out onto the stage and stopped next to Loki. She reached out and gave the box a little nudge, moving it easily over the floor. "Yeah," she said.
Loki pulled open the door and stepped inside. "Now?" he asked.
Darcy pushed against it again, and even with Loki's added weight, moved it about a foot before stopping. "Yeah," she said with a shrug.
Loki scratched his head and stepped out of the box. "I need a stagehand," he said. He looked around, hoping to find someone to conscript, but the theatre was empty of random people. Unless he wanted to wait until later to work everything out and teach the routine to Darcy, they'd have to do without.
"No, actually. I need a stopwatch," Loki decided. He pulled his phone from his pocket and poked at the screen, but didn't know where to even start to look to find one.
"Uh. Here," said Darcy as she grabbed her own phone. She seemed to know what he was doing with it, and quickly handed it over, all ready to go. Loki hated iPhones even more than he hated his Samsung, but it too would have to do.
Loki tapped the start button and ran backstage. Darcy was shouting something at him, but he ignored it as he pushed through the heavy doors and continued out to the hall. He ran around the theatre, turning down the corridor that led to the house. As soon as he was back in, he stopped the phone and nodded at it.
"Forty five seconds," he announced.
Darcy spun round to face him.
"What the hell was that?" she asked, throwing her hands into the air.
Loki walked back up to the stage and handed her phone back. "The amount of time you have to stall," he said.
He walked back to the prop room to grab his golf bag full of swords and wheeled it to centre stage. He brought the box over next to it, fiddling with the placement of both until they were exactly where he wanted them. Satisfied with the way it looked, he waved Darcy over.
"There are numbers here. On the side." He pointed to one of the thin slits in the side of the box, with "1" written beneath it in black Sharpie. "Fifteen. Do them in order. They're all angled to make sure the blades go where they need to."
Darcy turned to look at the swords next to her. "Are the swords numbered?" she asked.
Loki shook his head. "No, but they are real. I don't keep them sharp, but I still don't want to be stabbed." He handed her one of the swords and held his hand out toward the box. "Get used it it a few times without me in it. Then we'll go through the patter."
"Kay." Darcy took the sword and fed it through the first slot, visibly struggling to keep it balanced.
"Don't fight it," Loki said. He reached over and pulled the sword back out before Darcy bent it. "If it doesn't want to go in straight, don't try to force it."
"Kay," Darcy repeated. She lined the sword up and tried again, more fluidly slotting it into place this time. Once it was in all the way, Loki handed her another.
Darcy spent several long seconds looking for the second slot before finding it and feeding the sword in.
"You'll need to have this memorised," Loki told her.
"I will. This is my first time seeing it. Give me a break." She took the third sword from him, found the appropriate slot, and slid the sword in.
Once she finished, Loki started pulling the swords out and putting them back in the golf bag.
"Can you swallow swords?" Darcy asked.
"Yes, but these aren't for swallowing," said Loki as he pulled one out from the box. He looked down at it and pulled out two more. "They're for this."
He took two long steps backwards, and after checking his distance from everything, started juggling them. They weren't actually for juggling either, and were far too long to spin, so he had to try to keep them with the blades pointing upward. It only took a few seconds before he lost that balance and one started to tumble. Loki quickly stepped back, letting all three of the swords fall with a clatter.
"They're not for that," he admitted as he picked them back up.
"You just wanted to show off," Darcy said, wide-eyed.
Loki shrugged and put the swords back into the bag. "Perhaps," he admitted.
"You should do that in the show," said Darcy, stepping close again.
Loki looked out over the stage again. It was definitely big enough. "Maybe. I'll have to practise." He finished putting all of the swords back and stepped away. "All right. Do it again."
Loki stood by while Darcy ran through the sequence three more times. She didn't get any faster in finding the proper slots, but she did get the swords through much more smoothly than she had done the first time. Relatively confident that he wouldn't be skewered, Loki stepped forward again to decide how the rest of the routine should go.
"This stage is not doing us any favours, so you need to play this one up," he said. He opened the box and stepped inside.
"I will get in here, at centre stage," he said. Then he stepped out again and pushed it back to stage right. "You need to get it right here before sword six. By the end, I want it over on stage left, and then down centre again."
Darcy turned and nodded. "What, like? Do you want me to just push it around and show it off, or am I pretending I don't want to be all over the place?" she asked.
"Make it seem accidental," Loki said.
Darcy grinned widely and laughed. "Do I get to be your psychic Tanya?" she asked.
It was not an option Loki had even considered. Katrín had always played the proverbial straight man in their act, and most of their routines were framed around her refusal to make a fool of herself onstage.
"I don't know if the stage could handle that much stupid," Loki said, pushing the box back to centre stage once more.
"Oh, are you an idiot, too?" Darcy asked eagerly.
Loki grinned at her, exaggerated and toothy. "Such an idiot," he said. "That was what Katrín played off, when we were in Reykjavík. She was always pissed off at me for being useless."
Darcy pulled one of the swords from the golf bag and looked at the polished blade. "So, what? I should be like, stabbing you because I'm pissed, and you're in a convenient stabby box?" she asked.
"Very apt," said Loki. He pointed back offstage. "You. Back left. Take those with you. Let's run this."
Darcy put the sword back into the golf bag and wheeled it back offstage to go wait in the wings. Loki watched her go, and nodded when he was ready.
"We start with this being brought out. I'm usually still picking up cards at this point. Let the audience get a good look at it, and then it starts." He straightened up his posture as he fell into character, and gave the box a startled look. "Oh, yes. This. This is the wrong accent," he realised irritably. After ten years, it might wind up proving a difficult habit to break, which was not a factor he had previously considered. Clearing his throat, Loki started again with a conscious effort to remember to sound like a proper Icelander.
"Oh, yes," he said again, getting it right this time. "This is a very special item from back home. They're very old. I found this one in a collection on the street, next to some bins. But, you know. It smells fine."
"Oh my god," Darcy said from offstage.
Loki dutifully ignored her and opened the door. "But it still works. Anything you place inside vanishes. Anything. Like this."
He pulled a large golden-yellow foam ball from his pocket and put it on the floor of the box.
"You put the ball in there, close the door," Loki closed the door and turned back to the house, "and when you look in once more, it is gone!"
He opened the door widely and bowed, only looking back into the box when he was standing again. "No. No. Wait," he said, shutting the door quickly. "One more time. You put the ball in, give the box a spin," as he spun the box around, he very obviously opened the door and threw the ball into the wings. He slammed the door shut again just as he completed the circle, "and the ball is gone!"
This time when he threw open the door, the ball was indeed gone, and the box empty. Offstage, Darcy was laughing like she couldn't quite believe what she'd just witnessed.
"Such an idiot," she said.
Still, Loki ignored her and continued as if he hadn't said anything.
"But it's much more interesting with something bigger. Something like a person," Loki said. He stepped inside the box and closed the door, only to open it back up immediately. "Okay, good. You're all still here."
He dropped character and peered out at Darcy. "When I close the door, you step out, see me in the convenient stabby box, and go back for the swords. I count down from five, and on one, the first sword goes through," he said.
"Awesome. Stabbing time," Darcy said.
Loki threw her an uncertain look. "If I hit the side three times, you stop," Loki said. "That means you've stabbed me and lost your job."
"No actual stabbing. Got it," Darcy said, nodding.
Loki still wasn't sure if this was going to wind up being a mistake, but he closed the door anyway. "I am going to count down from five. On zero, the door will magically open, and I will be gone," he continued. He pressed himself up against the back wall of the box and began counting down, appearing to become more and more uncertain with each number. "Three. Uhm, uh. Er. Two? Uhmmm. Uhhhh. One," he said slowly. Right on cue, Darcy pushed the first sword through the box, missing Loki entirely. He reached over it and leaned as far out of the box as he could.
"I start shouting and swearing now. Slam the door on my face and keep going," Loki instructed.
"And get you to stage right by number six," Darcy confirmed.
"Yes," Loki said.
Nodding, Darcy slammed the door shut and picked up the second sword. She drove it into the slot, trying to give the box a good shove at the same time, rather leaving Loki with the fear that the whole thing would topple over.
"Do you want me to spin it?" she asked.
Loki arched again to avoid the third sword. "Just make sure the front is facing the house when we're in position," he said.
The box lurched and rocked as Darcy threw everything into fighting against the box. When Loki counted the sixth sword, he reached behind him and unlatched the back door, slipping easily out of the box.
"We'll have to mark it, but I need it as close to the wings as possible," he said. "If we use a black board, I can sneak out. When you get to left, twist it around to show the back." He shut the door again, making it seem like there was never a door at all.
"While you do that, I run around the halls and come find a seat at the back of the house," Loki finished. Rather than running around, he stepped down off the stage and wandered down the near aisle. He picked a seat at random and sat to watch Darcy finish her part of the routine. When she had all fifteen swords in place, and the box more or less at centre stage, she looked back out at Loki.
"You open the door now, and just walk back offstage," he said.
Darcy did with an abundance of spite and petulance, showing the empty house the empty box.
"Spotlight out here on me," Loki said, standing again and walking back up to the stage. "'Oh, how did I get here?' Trick is done. Back to your place, because we're running it at least ten times today."
Darcy hesitated a few moments before going backstage, leaving Loki to reset the trick.
