There it is. That annoying brightness in my eyes signaling its morning. Or well, somewhere near there. I always let the sun wake me up on Saturdays. It's nice to let the alarm clock have a day where I don't smash it.
Huh… I've never really found myself as a cuddly person but I seem to be spooning someone like my life depends on it. Yes, I went to bed alone last night. I'm not freaking out because I have a pretty good idea of who it is. I already have my body pressed firmly to her back and an arm around her, knowing who it is just makes me want to cuddle closer. Yes of course it's Cat. If it's not then I'm screaming rape, but I'm 99.99% sure it's her.
Yesterday was pretty crazy. Seeing her on the brink of falling apart, having her come to me to make it stop. It was actually a pretty amazing thing as well. I feel like it brought us closer. After I got done holding her I made sure she had a real smile on her face. Yes, I pulled out a piece of bubble gum I was saving for later, but it worked didn't it? That is, until Robbie came and took her away from me. That stupid idiot. He might as well have laughed at her too. I can't believe I actually felt sorry for him.
I open my eyes and see red. Literally. Lots of red. I smile knowing that hair anywhere. I lean up and look down at Cat's sleeping face. She's so peaceful. It's now that I notice that her fingers are laced with mine. Can she get any more adorable?
I slowly pull my fingers away from hers and get out of bed. I stretch and yawn as a few healthy pops come from my back. As much as I want to stay in bed with her, I think her waking up to breakfast would be better. I make my way down the stairs to see Trina walking out of the kitchen.
"Morning" I say.
"Morning, hey have you seen my cell phone?"
"You're on it" I say slowly.
"Oh… that explains why I can't find it" She says taking it away from her ear, hanging up on someone on the process. I shrug and walk past Trina when I hear her say,
"You know, at first I thought it was weird and kind of gross but now I think I'm ok with it."
"Ok with what?" I ask almost into the kitchen.
"You and Cat dating." I immediately stop where I am and turn around to face Trina with my signature 'WTF' face.
"What? Trina, Cat and I are not dating."
"You aren't?"
"No, she's dating Robbie" I say, my voice growling a bit at his name.
"Are you serious?" She asks.
"Yeah she has been for a few months now. Besides we're just friends." I say turning back to the kitchen.
"Just friends? Pretty sure what I heard two nights ago was not "just friends""
Tell me I didn't just hear what I think I just heard. I turn around so fast I may as well have started a tornado.
"What are you talking about?" I ask, my voice wavering.
"I'm talking about you and Cat going at it like banshees. And from what I heard, you could of done better" She says scowling at me. Hold on a minute, I totally satisfied Cat. Trina can't judge me just because of that one time- WHY AM I DEBATING THIS?
"Y-you heard…" I trail off. I must say, my voice has gotten a lot higher since the beginning of this conversation.
"Yep"
"I…but- you… you weren't home! Mom and dad said they were going to your audition in Redding." I try to reason.
"Tori, what is there in Redding? Nothing. Why would I waste my talent there? Mom and dad went to Tina's Auction in Redding. It's some annual thing old people go to. I was in my room taking pictures for my portfolio." She says with a smirk.
Oh. My. God. Trina was home when Cat and I… she heard… she… and…
"You heard everything?" I ask quietly.
"Everything. Hard to believe my baby sister's growing up. And I mean, you didn't do terrible, she still said your name a few times." She says patting my head. SHE HEARD THAT? Granted Cat was kind of loud, so was I, but I figured we could be because we were alone. Why couldn't I have actually listened to what my parents said? Why couldn't I have gotten Cat to hold off another night? This is Trina we're talking about here!
"Are you gonna tell anyone?"
"Tori, as sisters, most of the time we're supposed to rat each other out on things. But as sister code states, there are exceptions" she says with a slight smile. Oh thank God. I really thought she was gonna tell people. This is probably the nicest thing she's ever done for me. Seriously.
"I can't believe…" I trail off dropping my face into my hands.
"Rookie mistake, it happens to the best of us" She says looking at her phone. She almost looks bored. That's good, I think.
"But really you need to work on it, you could've done so much better" She finishes.
"Trina, so help me, if you make one more comment-"
"What? I'm just looking out for Cat" She says cutting me off.
"Looking out for me about what?" We hear from the stairs. We both look over to see Cat making her way into the living room.
"Nothing. She's doing nothing" I say glaring at Trina. She'd better not…
"Looking out for you and your future sex with my sister" She says smiling at me.
"Trina!"
"What?"
"You told her?" Cat interjects.
"What? No! She was here when it happened!" I yell.
"She was what?"
"Yeah, I was here. Personally I think Tori could've done-"
"Trina I swear to God, if you don't-"
"Stop it! Just… stop" Cat says shutting us up. I glare holes through Trina's face and she simply shrugs. "You're not gonna tell anyone are you?" Cat asks Trina.
"Luckily enough for you, I'm not that evil." Trina says. Cat lets out a sigh of relief and I let out one of frustration. "So… aren't you dating Robbie?" Trina asks Cat. I swear if she so much as…
"Uh… yeah" Cat hesitates.
"Huh, never thought you had it in you Tori. I think… I think I'm almost proud of you" She says gawking at the words that just came out of her mouth.
"No, Trina it's not like that. Tori and I are just friends. It's… it's just hard to explain" Cat says.
"So you didn't cheat on Robbie?" Trina asks slightly… disappointed? What a jerk.
"Trina, drop it" I say noticing Cat's guilty expression. This is exactly what we're trying to avoid. The regret and guilt of what happened. We just want to be happy about it and move on. But as long as Trina keeps talking about it, that's not gonna happen.
Trina opens her mouth to argue with me but I shoot her a killer glare and she closes it. She simply huffs then walks out of the living room. That's probably the only things she'll do right today.
"You ok?" I ask Cat.
"I am" She nods.
"Feeling guilty?"
"Not about what happened. Just that we got caught" She says looking up at me. I guess that's better than regretting the act right? I don't know what I'd do if she did. I mean, I can't just give it back.
"I should go" She says with a sigh.
"You don't have to"
"I know, I just should." She says.
Then, she's gone. Just like that, again. I hate this feeling. It's twice she's left abruptly with no liable excuse, leaving me here, wondering what I did or didn't do. I hate it.
….. ….. ….. …. … ….. …. … … … … … …
I find it funny how many of my thoughts include Cat.
Really, I don't think I've gone five minutes today without thinking about her. I guess it's a good thing though right? She makes me happy. And from what I know, I make her happy too. I mean, granted if you draw eyes on an eggshell she's happy but I'm talking about just happy in general.
I feel like I should be in love with her. I feel like I should love her like Robbie never will. But I don't. I love her, but I'm not in love with her. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I have every reason to love her, I mean, she's perfect, but I just don't. Don't get me wrong, I care for her deeply, I just don't feel the way I think I should. When I said I wanted her, I do want her. I'm just not sure how I want her. This is way too deep for a Saturday. Especially for a shower on Saturday.
I do my best thinking in the shower. I still haven't decided if that's weird or not. Cat would probably think it was normal but I'm not sure anyone else would. Oh well.
I turn off the water then get out of the shower only to find that once again, I forgot a towel. And clothes. It's a Saturday tradition I swear. Well… no point in calling Trina for it.
I open the bathroom door and stick my head out, check the hall, and walk quickly to my room. Once I get inside, I shut the door and just as I turn around I see… Cat sitting on my bed. I swear in that split second her pupils completely dilate and her eyes rake over my body. Yup, my naked body… in broad daylight… TORI MOVE!
I jump and glance around the area for something-anything to cover myself up with. But I'm not that lucky. I can't find anything, so I settle with hunching over making the best use of my arms, kind of like when Trina walked in on me in the shower.
"Cat…" I say completely caught off guard "What are you doing here?" I barely get out.
"Well I was gonna go home, but then I saw a grasshopper and it hopped back in this direction so I figured it wanted me to come back too so I did but when I got here you were in the shower so then I was waiting and now here you are…" She trails off, her eyes barely able to stay on mine. I should be flattered right?
"Ah…" I say awkwardly. I take a few steps towards my dresser but stop midway there. This is ridicules. "Can you hand me that robe?" I say nodding at my dresser. Cat nods and rushes to over to grab it. I straighten up a bit and take a step closer to her but life hates me so when I take that step, due to being wet, I slip and as I'm falling grab the only thing that could possibly support me. Yes the robe Cat's holding. This causes me to pull her down with me, no, not just with me, on top of me.
She lands flush against me and somehow my robe ended up nowhere between us. She quickly pushes herself up a little but stops when her eyes meet mine. This is… this is… really nice. She doesn't seem to mind to much either. Her mouth is just barely open but I can see her running her tongue over the back of her teeth. Why is that so appealing to me right now?
I feel weird. Weird like… I really, really want to flip us over and make her mine… again.
I don't know why I have this impulsive feeling to do so. I don't know much of anything right now, but what I do know, is how bad I want it. Her breathing has gotten quite a bit heavier too, guess I'm not the only one who's feeling it. If anything I thought that we'd maybe continue…
But I'm not that lucky.
I hear my doorknob click then my door opens. Dear god I hate my life.
"Hey Tori I lost my phone agaaaa- ohhh…" Trina trails off, eyes wide, jaw on the floor.
… …. …. … …. …. …. …. … … ….. … …
Hello again my Lotus Blossoms. Sorry for the wait, I wouldn't allow an update till I had the title picked. Which, speaking of, Undisclosed Desires is the official title. Now this I'm finally at peace with.
As for the chapter, sorry. I know we literally went nowhere and did nothing, but I already had two thousand words here so I decided to make a chapter of it. Just think of it as a really long intro to the next chapter. That's where the action is.
As for my shout outs:
Sin-Of-Virtue: If you do end up killing Robbie, I suggest making it slow. Haha.
eyes134: Good, I'm glad you can relate. I think it's safe to say we all can but sometimes we are so focused on our own version of that feeling, we forget that others have it too. You're not alone sister.
Jamsaner: I am very honored to hear er… read you say that. Thanks for giving this one a chance.
SuperGravyMan: You're review made me smile. Things like that are my motivation.
Sami Jo: Another chapter to make up for the false hope. And thanks for understanding about the title change.
Darkkidz28: Thanks for taking the time to review mine. It means a lot.
Alright loves, that's all for today. The next chapter however, is already written. Review, motivate, inspire, and spread the love around. Thick.
A.Y.P.
