Empty Melodies

The next morning, Zexion woke up with a headache, feeling like he'd been hit by a truck. This was to be expected, considering that he'd spent almost all of the previous night consuming various kinds of alcohol. Normally in this situation, he'd already be up, searching the cabinet in the bathroom for aspirin or trekking down to the kitchen to find the hangover remedy that Vexen had finally perfected, much to the joy of all. But he was unusually warm and comfortable, so for the moment, aspirin and miracle cures could wait in favor of staying in bed just a little while longer. He snuggled deeper into the pillows, sighing and trying to ignore his throbbing head.

And then his pillow moved.

He almost jerked away in shock, but kept still and kept his eyes shut. That had very obviously been an arm, wrapped around his waist, and so help him if it was anyone other than Xion, he'd beat them senseless. He cracked open one eye, flinching as the light assaulted his hangover-sensitive sight, and peered at the baby-blue t-shirt that filled his vision. It definitely wasn't Xion, and as the person pulled him closer and mumbled something in his sleep, Zexion realized who exactly it was.

Demyx. The same Demyx that he'd had a dream about kissing, here in his bed. God damn it all. Zexion got up, pushing off the covers and Demyx's arm all in one smooth motion. He was still wearing pants, at least, meaning that he hadn't done anything stupid in his drunken state. But… if that was the case, why the hell was Demyx in his room? In his bed? He yanked open one of his dresser drawers with more force than necessary, retrieving a plain blue shirt that matched his eyes.

Demyx stirred as Zexion's motion shifted the bed, sitting up to rub his eyes before focusing on Zexion. "Good morning!" he said cheerfully. Zexion fixed him with an icy glare.

"What are you doing in my room?" The question was flat and pointed.

Demyx frowned. "You asked me to stay last night." Seeing Zexion ready to object, he continued quickly, "I brought you up here to put you to bed, since you were really drunk and there weren't any more couches downstairs. Vexen said it was okay. But when I went to leave, you said that you didn't want to be alone. You were really upset."

Zexion vaguely remembered clinging to the musician's arm, and internally cursed himself. "Well, I'm fine now. You can go back downstairs." All he needed was some of Vexen's hangover concoction. He'd be better in ten minutes.

Demyx sighed. The ice was back. He climbed out of bed, straightening his shirt and walking over to put a hand on Zexion's shoulder. Ignoring the way the dancer tensed, he asked, "Why won't you tell me what's the matter? Something is obviously wrong. You wouldn't be so clingy when you're drunk otherwise. It's more than just your parents."

Zexion refused to look at him. "Why do you even care?"

"You're my friend, Zex." the musician said, not backing down. "And I've told you before that I'm in love with you. It's just you who won't believe that." He thought about forcing the silveret to face him, but decided it was a bad idea. "I love you, and whatever the problem is, it won't change that."

Zexion pulled away. "You've known me for maybe two weeks, Demyx. It's foolish to think that you could understand someone enough to love them in that short an amount of time."

"Just because you can't get close to people easily doesn't mean that I can't." Demyx retorted. "You play the apathetic ice prince, but you really care. About everyone here, not just Xion. You keep Riku from having a nervous breakdown about his family, and you listen to Axel's crazy ideas. You let Roxas stay the night when he had trouble with his brother. But at the same time, you keep your distance."

"Demyx, stop it." Zexion said. "You don't understand…"

"I understand just fine." Demyx said. "You're scared. You said as much last night. You're scared that you're going to lose everyone, so you won't let anyone get close!"

Still facing away from Demyx, Zexion's eyes widened. "Don't presume…"

"Zexion. We're not going to disappear. Not Roxas, not Riku, not Marluxia or Vexen or Xemnas. And certainly not me."

"You don't know that!" Something finally snapped, pushed past the breaking point, and Zexion whirled on the musician, his eyes glinting blue fire. "You have no idea what it's like to lose almost everyone important to you in one go! I will not go through that again! I will not let myself or you be hurt!" He scowled. "It would be better for you to just stay away from me."

Demyx could only watch helplessly as Zexion slipped from the room. He sighed, sinking to sit on the bed with his head in his hands. What could he do to get through to the dancer?

"It's only fear that makes you run; the demons that you're hiding from…" He mumbled the lyric under his breath. What was Zexion running from? Why was he so afraid? Unless he wanted to talk… Demyx would probably never know.

xXx

Zexion broke into a run as soon as he was out of Demyx's sight. Down the stairs, reflexes honed from his talent allowing him to maintain speed, he dashed through the back room, down the hallway past the offices and into the kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinet until he found Vexen's hangover remedy. No one else needed it, since no one else was awake yet. He poured some in a glass and downed it. When he put the glass in the sink, the door behind him opened, and Vexen himself walked in.

"Zexion?" Vexen said, sounding surprised. "You are up early. Do you feel all right?"

Zexion looked at him for a second, then nodded slowly and hurried out the back door. Vexen was left staring after him, puzzled by the fact that he had left still in his dancing clothes, with no shoes on. Zexion wasn't sure where he was going at all. He let his feet guide him, wandering the streets in the early morning light with no clear direction.

It was only when Zexion found himself outside of a rundown, abandoned church that he realized where his feet had been taking him. He laughed to himself. The Cathedral of Empty Melodies was a neutral zone. He would be okay here. Finding the side door that De… … Well, the door that he had been shown, he tried the knob. It wasn't locked, and he slipped inside.

He made his way to the main hall of the cathedral, where he was met with an amazing sight. The stained glass window that crowned the far wall was made up of many shades of blue, a beautiful sky surrounding a heart-shaped moon: the symbolic representation of Kingdom Hearts. The common belief was that when someone died, their heart returned to Kingdom Hearts, strengthening its power while the heart waited for rebirth. In front of the altar, the floorboards had been broken away, exposing a patch of ground. Flowers grew there, nurtured by the sunlight shining through a broken portion of the ceiling.

Zexion got about halfway up the aisle before collapsing. "Oh… Oh, Kingdom Hearts, what have I done…?" He sank down to sit cross-legged in the large hall, the wooden boards cool to the touch of his bare feet. He buried his face in his hands, feeling the wet tracks of tears on his cheeks, the sob building up in his throat. "What have I…?" The musician had done nothing but be kind to him. Zexion could see in his mind's eye the hurt look in Demyx's eyes as the dancer shot down his original confession.

"Don't you believe in love at first sight?"

"A foolish notion, encouraged by fairy-tales and other silly make-believe."

He pulled his knees to his chest and cried. It wasn't fair. He was so caught up in normally-hidden emotions, he missed the person that came up behind him, only returning to awareness once the person knelt to wrap arms loosely around him in a hug. He didn't struggle, somehow knowing that this person could be trusted, and he didn't jump or flinch when a soft, kind voice asked, "Why are you crying?"

"There's someone…" Zexion murmured. "Someone who loves me. He says he does, and I'm really starting to believe him. But I keep pushing him away."

"Why?"

"I'm scared." Zexion said. "He's right. I'm scared of getting too close and then losing him. I wouldn't be able to deal with that again…"

The person got up, circling around in front of him. It was a young woman with long brunette hair done in a braid. She was wearing a pink dress, and had soft emerald eyes. "I am the Angel of Mercy. I look after this church. Even though I'm technically part of the Angels, this is neutral ground." Seeing the look on Zexion's face, she smiled kindly at him. "You don't have to tell me who you are. But tell me about him, this boy who loves you."

"He's… like the sun. He's always so cheerful… Like a little kid." Zexion said quietly. "Even when I was cold to him, he kept trying to be close to me. I… I just kept trying to push him away. I told him this morning that it would be better for him to just stay away from me."

"Do you really believe that?"

"No."

The Angel of Mercy reached out to brush her fingertips against his cheek. "Do you love him?" she asked gently. Zexion sighed.

"…Yes."

"Why?"

It might have seemed like a strange question, but Zexion had an answer. "Because he is the other half of me. I never really got to be a teenager. He never really grew up." He didn't have the will to deny it anymore.

"Two sides of the same coin?"

"We balance each other." Zexion finally smiled, looking up at the Angel of Mercy. "Thank you."

"No thanks are needed." she replied. "I am happy to have helped, in any small way." She got to her feet, brushing off her dress. "I need to water the flowers, but feel free to stay as long as you need."

Zexion watched her disappear into the back rooms, obviously looking for a watering can, and smiled to himself. He cared for Demyx. More than he'd cared about anyone but his sister for a long time.

He'd just have to learn to not be afraid.

xXx

After Zexion's abrupt exit, Vexen had retrieved his hangover cure and returned to the main room to administer it to the younger employees, who had consumed significantly more alcohol than their more mature counterparts. A swallow of hangover remedy and ten minutes later most of them were lucid and capable of functioning. Therefore, everyone was aware that something had happened. Vexen in particular was waiting for Demyx to come downstairs. He had at least one question for the musician. He didn't think Demyx would have tried to hurt the dancer, but Zexion reacted to things oddly sometimes. Even something Demyx had said might have inadvertently sparked a reaction, whether he meant it or not.

When Demyx finally trailed miserably into the room, no one spoke. The musician didn't even notice, caught up in his own woes. It was Vexen who finally asked, "What happened to Zexion?"

Demyx blinked. "I didn't do anything, I swear. He's… He hates me."

"Something happened after you took him up to bed last night, Demyx."

Axel, who had been significantly the most drunk out of the group, and who also hadn't recovered all the way, heard Vexen's statement and took it entirely the wrong way. He considered Zexion part of his family, and his protective instincts kicked in. "Wait, you slept in Zexion's room? What did you do? If you took advantage of him while he was drunk I'll kill you!" He was finally silenced by Roxas, who clapped a hand over his mouth, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at his boyfriend's behavior.

Demyx explained quietly that he had gotten in a fight with Zexion, and the dancer had gotten upset and left. Nothing inappropriate had happened, he assured Axel.

When everyone was satisfied with the explanation, they agreed that they best thing would probably be to go look for him. If Zexion was upset, it probably wasn't a good idea to let him wander around. They broke up into groups and set out, determined to find the silveret and bring him home.

It was Demyx who grabbed Vexen's arm, saying quickly that he had an idea of where Zexion might be. Vexen started to ask a question, but then stopped and simply followed the musician out into the city.

xXx

Zexion was still in the Cathedral, watching the Angel of Mercy walk amongst the flowers in the broken patch of floor, watering can in hand. He looked up in surprise when the side door banged open and shut, and a tall man with black hair burst in.

"Aerith!" he called cheerfully, striding over to embrace the girl and press a quick kiss to her lips. In Zexion's opinion, he looked like a black porcupine had exploded on his head.

She returned the kiss before pushing him away, smiling. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I have someone here. You've just told him my name."

It was almost comical how wide the stranger's violet eyes got. He looked over at Zexion, smiling sheepishly like a child caught misbehaving. "Forget you heard that?"

"No." Zexion replied. He got up from where he'd been sitting, walking over to offer the other his hand. "Zexion Ishida. I won't tell anyone, but I won't forget."

"All right then, Zexion." The raven-haired man shook his hand. "I'm Zackary Fair, Zack for short. Also Nisroc, the Angel of Freedom." He waved his other hand in Aerith's direction. "My girlfriend is Aerith Gainsborough. She's the Angel of Mercy, and she's the only one of us without a call-name." He peered at Zexion curiously for a moment, then said brightly, "I know you! You're one of the dancers at Second Circle! Is Riku doing okay? And Roxas. Do you see his brother Cloud much?"

"Riku's fine." Zexion said with a small smile. "Stressing about his brothers or work or something. We try to keep him calm." Puzzled, he then asked, "Do you know Cloud?"

"Cloud's one of our old friends." Zack explained. "He doesn't talk to us much anymore since he found out that we were part of the Angels. He's got a bad grudge against Sephiroth. But Seph is one of my oldest friends, the second friend I ever made, and I'd follow him to the ends of the earth."

"Cloud seems… displeased, a lot of the time. He doesn't like it that Roxas is working with us, but he's getting used to it."

Zack laughed. "That sounds like the Cloud I know! He pouts when he doesn't like something." He sighed. "When he figured out that we were Angels, he was so unhappy. But he doesn't see the bigger picture. The Seekers… If there were no Angels, this city would be a lot worse off than it is. But we'll leave our spiky-headed friend to his brooding, until he comes around."

Zexion found himself smiling entirely against his will. "I will tell Riku that I met you. I'm glad that I did." He suddenly became aware of exactly how long he'd been sitting in the Cathedral, and said quietly, "I should return to Second Circle. They'll be worried about me."

Aerith nodded. "Come back anytime that you need to. Everyone is welcomed here."

Zexion bid farewell to the two Angels, making his way back to the side door. Zack and Aerith seemed different from normal Angels. Maybe it was because Aerith's position made her neutral. Still thinking, he absently opened the door and made his way out to the street in front of the Cathedral. He stopped as he saw Vexen and Demyx standing there.

Vexen didn't say anything, but walked over and hugged the dancer tightly. He'd been taking care of Zexion since the boy was eight years old, and even though he was technically a legal adult now, it didn't stop Vexen from worrying about him. "Tell someone where you're going next time."

Zexion nodded, knowing that he had worried his friend. He stepped back, looking over at Demyx, who wouldn't meet his eyes. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Demyx. I over-reacted this morning."

Demyx looked up at him, smiling as usual, but there was a wall behind his eyes. Something had closed off. "Apology accepted."

"You were right." Zexion said. "This morning…" But he couldn't speak past the sudden lump in his throat, and he swallowed thickly. He couldn't say it. Ten years of pushing away, of numbness and denial and refusal, came back to destroy him as he tried to speak. He wanted to say it, he really did, but it didn't matter. Some reflex he had built up wouldn't let him. He realized abruptly that he had barely spoken such endearments to Xion, much less someone who wasn't related to him. But he wanted to speak.

Because it hurts to be heartless.

Vexen smiled faintly. "We should return to Second Circle. We'll call the others and let them know that we found you."

Zexion found that on some level, he was shocked. "Everyone is out looking for me?" For some reason, he couldn't imagine it. But on another level, it made sense.

"Of course." Vexen replied. "We were worried." Demyx already had his cell phone out, punching in Axel's number so that the redhead could call those whose numbers he did not have.

"Yeah… Uh-huh… We found him. Yeah. He was walking down the street near that restaurant… Yeah, that one…"

Zexion knew that Demyx avoided mentioning the Cathedral on purpose. Vexen didn't know where he had come out of, so it was fine. To the older man, it simply looked like Zexion had walked out of the alley. Aerith certainly couldn't afford to have the Cathedral's location be common knowledge, because people would be there all the time, and now that Zexion had met her in person, he would do his part to protect it as well.

xXx

After they returned to the nightclub, the others began to return one group at a time. Axel ruffled the silveret's hair before shoving him good-naturedly. "Don't just run off on us like that! I accused Demyx of molesting you or something!"

Zexion shoved back half-heartedly. "I won't. Why would you think…?" He realized what Axel had actually said and promptly flushed. "WHAT?"

"Well, can you blame me?" Axel asked, promptly defending himself. "Vexen said that he took you to bed when you were drunk last night. I was really hung over at the time. Can you honestly blame me for interpreting it wrong?"

Demyx was red, staring at the floor. "I wouldn't do that…"

Axel waved his hands absently. "Although, I'm sure that a drunk Zexion is just as sharp as a normal Zexion, and would resist any attempts to sex him up." He shrugged, ignoring that Demyx had gone from red to an odd scarlet-purple color, and Zexion looked ready to stab him with the nearest blunt object to ensure that it hurt.

"Shut up, Axel." Roxas said, and Naminé slipped her hand into her brother's, squeezing it.

Xion hugged Zexion, and he wrapped his own arms around her in return, threading his fingers through her blue-black hair. Things would be different from now on. Demyx was right. He couldn't be afraid of getting close to people. That… That wasn't what his parents would have wanted. For Xion's sake, and for his own.

xXx

It was raining in the Deep Dive City.

Huge drops pounded the pavement, drenching anyone unfortunate enough to be caught out in the weather. It was late, about one-fifteen in the morning, so few were out. Most were safely warm and dry in their homes. But two children hurried down the darkened streets, soaked through. The younger of the two was crying.

"You're pulling my arm!"

Her brother loosened his grip. "Sorry, Xi. I didn't mean to." He paused, looking back at her through silver-blue bangs that hung in his eyes and plastered wetly to his cheeks.

"Xi…" the little girl murmured, and the boy put his hands on her shoulders.

"Xion Ishida. That's you. And I'm Zexion." He tried to smile, but it didn't work well. Taking her hand again, they kept walking. It was almost too dark to see, moon and stars covered by thick rainclouds. Few lights were on in the alley they wandered through, until they emerged onto a wider street. A lit sign proclaimed the building before them as "Second Circle". As they watched, the sign went dark, and Zexion frowned. This place was closed too. He sighed, squeezing Xion's hand as more of a reassurance to himself than her, and headed towards another alley between the club and the building next to it.

He stopped dead at the alley's entrance, seeing the people emerging from a side door of the club. There were five of them: a tall man in red, with blond hair, another with silver hair, one with black dreadlocks, a skinny man with blond hair straight to his waist, and a teenager with a physique like a brick wall.

It was the man in red who saw them first. He blinked once or twice, as if disbelieving of what he was seeing, and then called to them, "Are you lost?"

Zexion shook his head slowly. They weren't lost.

The man took a step closer. "Do you need help?"

Zexion looked back over his shoulder, first at Xion and then at the darkened streets, as if searching for phantoms. Slowly he nodded. He was surprised when, despite the wet pavement, the man knelt to look him in the eyes.

"What's your name?" he asked gently.

"I…" Zexion hesitated. "I'm Zexion Ishida. This is my sister, Xion."

The man smiled. "I am Ansem Wisen. Don't worry, Zexion. Everything will be okay…"


Remember Nisroc playing mean jokes on Dennis? Here he is, my favorite Final Fantasy guy. :D Zack is mine. Back away, fangirls. XD

And so we are one step closer to actual Zemyx, one chapter closer to karaoke night, and one flashback closer to understanding what's going on. It's all good.

I had my senior assembly today. I graduate from high school a week from next Wednesday! *insert fireworks and ticker-tape parade here* Enjoy your sappy chapter!

Li

Reader Quest: …I don't think I have one. Uh… What is the Cathedral named after?
Song List: I'm the Only One by Melissa Etheridge, Aerith's Theme (from Final Fantasy VII), The Other Promise (from Kingdom Hearts)