Tearjerker brings James and Sexpun to another room. He ties them up in chairs and now begins talking to them from above (I didn't know how to describe it, watch the actual episode).
"So you've heard most of my brilliant scheme," says Tearjerker. "But do you want to know why I did this. The year was 2002, the place, Hollywood. I auditioned for a little film called 'Monster's Ball'. The producers laughed me out of that room and out of that town. So I thought I'd make the whole world cry with the saddest film imaginable. LIGHTS!"
Tearjerker's film starts. It's in black and white and a bunch of Nazi trucks drive by. Narration starts.
"In a world torn apart by war, one voice stood out. A voice that was strong, inspiring, and hard to understand."
A retarded Jewish boy played by Tearjerker begins getting excited about driving the truck, his mother tells him to be quiet, as they are hiding from the Nazis. It also reveals that the boy was an alcoholic. His puppy also dies of cancer. It ends with the words Oscar Gold. Bond and Sexpun are holding back tears (Yes, James Bond is holding back tears, weird right?).
"Yes, it's sad," says Tearjerker. "Good to know that, and that was just the trailer; imagine seeing the four hour director's cut. People will cry so much they'll cry themselves to death."
"That's impossible," says James.
"Actually it is," says Tearjerker. "The tear glands will be emptied of all tears and the eyes will go blind, and then get an infection, then they will be infected, and they will die."
"I still don't think that's possible," says James.
"Is it? Tell that to the critics screening."
Tearjerker pulls a switch and a bunch of film critics are seen dead, with their eyes cried out.
"The film is opening on 500,000 screens all around the world in about ten minutes," says Tearjerker. "With all the terrible works released by Schmear, people will be forced to see Oscar Gold. And they WILL DIE!"
