Thanks for the continued support! More from the past in this one; a little lighter material.


Levi didn't spare much time to look around Erwin's room. Once he saw the bed he realized that sleep was all he wanted. He pulled off his boots, tempted to drop them and let them lie where they fell, but instead he set them up by the foot of the bed. He hung up his cloak and pulled off his belt before climbing between the sheets.

Erwin also stripped down to his pants before turning out the light. Under normal circumstances, he probably slept in his underwear as most of the men did, but he undoubtedly wanted to help keep Levi at ease.

They didn't say anything. Slowly, Levi became sleepier in spite of the images running through his mind and the tiny spasms of nausea and anxiety that coursed through his body. He heard Erwin's breathing become slow and heavy and knew that his superior was asleep. He tried to relax systematically: his legs, then his body, his arms, shoulders and neck. He avoided thinking of anything else. Finally, he slipped into sleep.

It was still dark when he woke. Someone had been crying... No, he had been crying. Levi reached up and felt the dried salt on his face where the tears had run down. His eyes were still moist. Someone's arm was around him.

"Are you awake?" Erwin asked quietly.

Erwin... Slowly, Levi remembered why he was in his superior's bed. "Yeah," he answered. "Did I wake you?"

"It's fine."

Levi relaxed again and closed his eyes. After a moment he turned toward Erwin and nestled against his chest. I don't care. I just don't want to feel like shit anymore.

Erwin moved his hand up to Levi's shoulder and held him gently until Levi managed to get to sleep again.

When he woke again, Erwin was up and getting dressed. He sat up gingerly, wincing at the silent protests of his joints and muscles.

"Good morning," said Erwin.

"I didn't take you for a comic," Levi replied dryly.

The corner of Erwin's mouth twitched. "If you want a shower before breakfast, and I highly recommend it, you can take one here."

"Thank you." Levi looked down for a moment. Being allowed a shower in the officers' quarters would be nice, but... "What about tomorrow?"

"One day at a time."

"All right... what happens today?"

"Today I get to question everyone from your barracks."

"What do I do?"

"Take it easy."

It sounded like a difficult order to follow. Levi wasn't sure how he would keep himself occupied.

"Who should I question first?" Erwin asked.

Levi knew he was indirectly asking who his rapist had been. He still hadn't reported it. He looked at the floor, trying not to let his mind go back to the night before. Just say it. He swallowed. "Bartlet."

"All right." Erwin sounded unsurprised. "I'll try to check on you before lunch. You can read my books if you like."

"I don't think I'll be going to breakfast..."

"I can bring you something here."

"And clean clothes?"

"I'll get those now and meet you in the bathroom."

"Mightn't I run into other officers?"

"You might." Erwin thought it over. "All right; wait here, then. I'll go with you and explain if anyone questions it."


In the officers' bathroom, Erwin hung up his jacket and shirt and got his hair wet so he could stand by Levi's shower and towel his hair when anyone else came in. Two different officers came and went without asking any questions.

Levi's wounds still stung under the hot water, but not as badly as before. He dried off in the stall and got dressed in there as well, to avoid being seen as long as possible. He insisted on taking the time to rinse out the shower before leaving. They managed to get back to Erwin's quarters without being spotted.

"I'm late for breakfast," Erwin said, "but that's a good excuse to take food back to my room. Stay here, all right?"

Levi nodded. He did feel a little hungry, but it was the heavy, near-nausea hunger that made him unsure if it was worth it to eat anything.

He looked over Erwin's books while the latter was gone. Most were on military strategy or biographies of great leaders, but a few were fiction. One, he wasn't sure about - it was in German.

"The Honor Of a Soldier," Levi read the title of one novel. "That's propaganda if anything is..." He flipped the book open and began reading the first chapter. He was surprised to find the style engaging. He took it back to Erwin's bed and sat against the headboard to read. It was a bit predictable: the protagonist was idealistic but loyal to the king. The plot was just beginning to unfold when Erwin returned.

"That's a good author," Erwin said, setting a tray of food on the bed between them. "I haven't managed to find any of his other books; they're a rare commodity anyway, let alone when you're looking for something specific."

Levi set the book aside. "Does he end up dying for his cause in a moment of futile heroics?" he asked.

"I won't spoil it."

"Tch."

They began eating. Levi noticed that the quality of the food seemed a little better than the typical mess hall fare.

"Anything I should know before I start questioning them?" Erwin asked, sounding casual. As if he was asking if Levi thought it might rain later.

"A few of them didn't participate," Levi said, trying to match Erwin's tone. "Some were just spectators. Some stayed out of it altogether; they didn't try to stop it because they knew they'd get the same treatment. Jameson was kind of in the middle. He seemed like he was in favor of it, but he'd sometimes keep them from going too far. He might make a good informant, if you present it right."

Erwin nodded. "Good to know."

"So, do I... just stay in here all day?"

"I'm afraid so. You're in no shape for regular training, and I can't really put you anywhere else without raising questions. We have to wait until this is all settled."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry... it just can't be helped."

"I know. It's not your fault." Levi's hunger had diminished significantly. He toyed with his food, not wanting to finish it but not wanting to seem ungrateful for it.

"It's not yours, either."

Levi didn't answer. Not out loud, anyway. It's my fault I didn't say something sooner. It's my fault I didn't try harder to fight them. I gave up.

"They won't get away with it. That much I promise you."

Levi nodded. He knew Erwin would do his best to follow through. But he almost didn't care what happened to his so-called comrades. It wouldn't fix things. He just wanted it to be over.


When Erwin came back a couple of hours later, Levi was several chapters into Honor Of a Soldier. Erwin asked if he wanted to know about the questioning and Levi shook his head.

"I still have a handful to get through, but I'll let them wait until after lunch. How are you feeling?"

Levi rested the open book against his chest. "I don't know," he said. "I'm sore... and I feel tired even though I've been resting. It doesn't make sense."

Erwin walked around the bed and put the back of his hand to Levi's forehead. His fingers seemed warm. "Have you been drinking water?" Erwin asked, glancing at the table where a pitcher had sat since breakfast.

"A little."

"Have some more."

Erwin brought a glass to him and Levi drank it slowly. While he did, Erwin took his wrist, clearly feeling his pulse.

Levi paused halfway through the glass of water. "You think I'm in shock?" he asked.

"I'm sure you were last night... stupid of me not to think of it. You still look pale, and your pulse seems slow."

"Well, maybe I am. There's not much more we can do about it."

"I could get you some tea."

Levi perked up at the suggestion. "Earl Grey?"

"I think we have some."

"That would be good."

"Okay." Erwin relaxed his hold on Levi's wrist and gave his hand a small squeeze before letting go completely. "I'll see what I can do."

Levi finished drinking the water and set the glass aside. Then he lay down on Erwin's bed and pulled a blanket over himself. If he was in shock, he needed to rest. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing steady until Erwin got back.

He wasn't sure how long it had been, but he didn't think he'd quite gotten to sleep when Erwin brought his tea to him.

"Sorry, we were out of Earl Grey," he said. "Is peppermint all right?"

"That's fine." Levi took the cup and noted the tea's near-white shade. "There was milk, too?"

"Real milk," Erwin confirmed.

"Nice. Thank you." He sipped the tea, inhaling the steam. "It's good."

"Good. You drink that and take a nap if you can. I'll bring you something else to eat in a little while."

"I'll need to take a piss before I can sleep."

Erwin snorted. "Need me to take you?"

"I think I'll be all right."

"OK. Keep your head down and I'll be back soon."

Levi nodded. The worst is over, isn't it? he thought to himself. Why do I feel like it's still coming?


Sorry I've lost some of my rapid-update steam... real life stuff going on. But I shall try to continue soon.