FINAL CHAPTER
Before there was any evidence of Lina's affliction, she and Gourry decided to pay respected visits home. It was shortly after their engagement, and while Lina's reasons were along the lines of "inviting the family and finding a place to call home", Gourry's was more mysterious and personal, along the lines of, "setting everything up so that my affairs are in order and that my ties are cut." Lina never pressed him for details, and he never offered any. It was something that never, ever had to be said: some things were best left private.
Which was Lina's excuse for not telling him alot of things sooner. A couple of months previous, Lina had missed a period but then suffered an excruciating period several weeks too early to be normal. Since both she and Gourry had been intimate a few months before, it wasn't a surprise that she had gotten pregnant, since they had been careless during the event. The surprise came in the loss, and how it made her feel. The morning afterwards, when she felt able to, she wrecked havoc on the countryside. It would be the first of many miscarriages, the first of many empty mornings.
The funny thing was, each time it happened throughout their lives, Lina only told Gourry a couple of times. It had happened more and more as they aged, but she kept it to herself. It was her own private shame, her own secret agony: she could not bear children.
It would be her first hint to her affliction, one she wouldn't detect until much too late.
In any case, the first of the many had left a scar on her, one that she knew she wasn't hiding very well. She could tell that Gourry knew something was wrong, but he never pressed her about it. There was a part of her that wished he just would, just so that she could share her pain with someone who loved her.
When she made it home, her parents were thrilled not only to see her, but to hear her news. Since Gourry was dealing with his own affairs, her father refused to "grant permission" until they met him, but she knew that the deal was done and she would get help with her wedding, as well as have her family there.
She figured she had everyone fooled into thinking she was happy, too. But Luna ambushed her and surprised her.
"You're sick," Luna snapped, stopping her in the hallway of their small, modest home. "Your eyes are dark."
Lina wasn't in the mood; Luna's greeting earlier had been terrifying, and being seen through was even worse. "I'm not sick. I'm fine."
Luna's mouth set into a deeper frown. "You lost..."
Lina covered her sister's mouth and dragged her into he nearest room, slamming the door behind them. Luna wrestled her away and pushed her bangs out of her eyes, her eyes blazing. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Lina sneered. "It's none of your business. Gourry doesn't even know."
Luna paused. "It's more than that. Lina-chan, you don't look that much older. It's been a decade at the least, and you only look like three years have past."
Lina's blood turned to ice. No, no, she pleaded silently, please don't look through me like this. Please don't see me, don't see how I've been cursed. The blood drained out of her face, and she said nothing.
Luna grabbed her, her eyes boring into hers. "You're touched," she spat, the words full of disgust. "You fool. You idiot."
Lina shoved her away and stormed out of the room. She went to greet her parents in the next room, hiding under the cloak of cheerfulness, as if nothing bad had happened.
It was never mentioned again between them. Luna followed her lead, and pretended that she didn't know anything. It was only when decades started to go by without leaving their mark on Lina did Luna finally confess to knowing all along.
The look in their eyes, when her parents met her gaze, seeing her beside Gourry, who was getting older. The fear, the disgust, and even the jealousy. It made her want to destroy herself.
Until one-by-one, they died. One-by-one, they left her behind. It started with her mother, and ended with Amelia. Only she was left. Only she held the story.
Was it any wonder that she treated Xellos, the only other survivor, as she did? Intruding in her life, giving her gifts, taking them away, taunting her...tormenting her...reminding her how her life was ruined...
But even as she ran, she wondered why. Even when she ran out of breath and stood in the middle of the marketplace, gasping for air, she wondered why. She knew that Xellos wanted something. She knew that he wouldn't leave her alone until he got it. But what was it? Why had he waited so long?
She hunched over, hands on her knees, gasping for air. She had run down the entire coastline without break, as fast as she could, and found herself winded. Even with the youth she had, it wasn't immortality, and she still felt tired like any normal person. She shut her eyes, her head hanging down low.
I just want peace.
There was a sound of displaced air, and she didn't move, nor did she look up. She opened her eyes and saw his feet, and still didn't move. It was only when she felt his hand on the top of her head did she jerk away and slap at his hand. Xellos stood there, his hand held up, his face wearing an expression that cut into her.
"Wh-what the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded, her eyes wide.
His face was drawn with pain, and his other hand was to his chest. His complexion was ashen, and his eyes, wide open, were dim. He smiled weakly, it looking more like a grimace. "I don't know for sure, Miss Lina," he said honestly. "It appears that when I'm near you, it gets worse."
Despite being honest, it probably wasn't the best thing to say to her, and he realised it way too late. Her face went chalk white, her eyes wide, and she took a step back. With a sharp inhale of breath, Xellos felt the needles of her pain echo through the air.
Smiling weakly, Lina held up her hands. They shook. "I know you must have a motive that you need to pursue, Xellos," she said softly, her voice wobbling. "But clearly, even with you, all I do is bring people agony. I am grateful for what you've given me, but please," and here the smile left her face, becoming a mask of pain. "Please, leave me alone."
"Why?" Xellos wondered simply. Like before, he felt that deep pain in his core, but he wouldn't be deterred. He couldn't be deterred, not yet. "We're not so different, you and I."
"Exactly," Lina whispered. "I could see myself living out my days with you, losing myself. Losing my memories. I can't..."
Xellos hesitated. It would be easy to take advantage of how vulnerable and confused she was. It would be easy to manipulate her into thinking that taking the pledge was a good idea. But her eyes still flickered with that dim light of a loose grip on reality, and it stopped him.
Ah, Miss Lina, he thought, if only you could have had it the way you wanted...
And with a sudden sharp pain that made him see spots, he realised what was wrong with him, and it made him proud and terrified all at once. He finally had an answer.
"You told me back there that it was different for me," Xellos said slowly, taking care to mask his pain. "You said that I do not feel, nor do I care about the lives I toy with. And yet, before that, you also told me that I kept coming back to someone that I didn't and couldn't care about."
Lina slowly looked up, her face partially obscured by her hair. "So?" she answered. "It's true."
Xellos smirked. He shook his head slowly. "Miss Lina, what are Monsters?"
Lina gritted her teeth, refusing to answer. He answered for her. "We are Astral beings that feed off of the sorrow, anger and all that is in between of the human race. Our ultimate goal is to bring this world back to the Sea of Chaos, so that we can rule. You know that, don't you?"
Lina sighed. "Everyone knows that, idiot."
Xellos felt something snap inside him, and he reached forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. Her anger flared up, and her hands went out to defend herself, but one look in his eyes froze her blood and held her hands still.
"Miss Lina," Xellos said softly, his voice contorted with pain. "You can imagine that if a Monster feels anything opposite of those things, it would be like poison, don't you think?"
Lina felt her mouth go dry. She felt light-headed all of a sudden. "Shut up," she snapped. "Just shut up."
His eyes, she realised, weren't dim; they were bright. Bright with his pain, surely, but also bright with something else. Knowledge? Realisation?
"I had to think about it," Xellos continued, letting go of her shoulders. She stepped back, but didn't go too far. "While you ran, I had to think about what it was that was causing me pain. It took me much too long to get it. Sometimes I wonder how stupid Monsters are in these matters."
"Shut up," she repeated. Xellos smiled faintly.
"Miss Lina, the real reason for my sudden interest in you is simple," he went on, the smile gone. He was serious, she realised. She listened. "Your life is being wasted on what you're doing. You have been given a immense gift that could be used on something better. But life has dealt you a bad hand, and you're losing your mind," he said this last part gently, but Lina winced all the same.
"Take the Pledge of Immortality, Miss Lina," he said, his voice close to a plea. "I don't think I could stand to watch you die, no matter how long it took."
The words shocked her. They were so honest, so open, that they took the words of refusal from her mouth. She stared at him. He stared back.
And then, the most shocking happened: it was like she was decades younger. She leaned back, smiled angrily, and shook her head. "Sorry," she said, her voice thick with anger, "but I won't sell my soul for companionship."
Xellos narrowed his eyes. He didn't say a word, and she took that as a hint. She turned on her heel and started back towards the seaport.
It was only when she felt the smothering shock of sudden bloodlust that she realised that she had made a terrible mistake. She turned, moving as fast as she could to the side, but her moves were too slow, too hesitant. It was like some foolish part of her refused to accept what was happening, and it spelt her doom.
The blast of dark energy that erupted from Xellos was one based on instinct. That defiance, that arrogance that Lina had displayed when rejected him hurt him right to the core, right at the seat of his pride, and as was his nature, he reacted the only way he could: to inflict pain in order to get even. He tried to call it back, but it was far too late, and he had to watch. He made himself watch.
It burst forward, crashing right in through Lina's left side. She felt it burn through skin, through flesh and blood and bone, and she couldn't even cry out. She staggered, clutching at her side feebly, desperate not to show pain, but a moment later the pain kicked in, and she fell, first to her knees, then to the ground on her front.
Xellos stood, his hand out, his eyes wide. He was frozen, the pain within him screaming out and spreading up and down his core. He could feel the dozens of eyes on him and Lina, hear the screams and shouts of panic, but all he could see was her, lying prone on the cold concrete ground, her life's blood spreading out and creating a stain of bright red.
Slowly, he walked over to her, still disbelieving what he had just done. He felt her pain and her fury in the air, and when he knelt down at her side, he could see it on her face. Her eyes, barely open, were narrow and blazing with hate and betrayal.
Something in him seemed to snap again, and he reached down, grabbing her up by her arms again. She moaned, biting her lip, and he could feel her blood on him, hot and sticky, but he ignored it. He looked into her eyes, and shouted, without realising he was shouting, "Take the pledge!"
Lina glared at him, her world one of fiery pain and intense anger. Slowly, she shook her head. "I would rather die," she spat, blood dribbling from her lips.
"You will die!" Xellos snapped, his voice breaking. "Take the pledge!"
Lina shook her head, slower this time. As the seconds passed, her vision was dimming, and his voice was going softer and softer, even as he shouted.
Xellos could not only see it, but feel it, happening. The emotions in the air were waning in their potency, and he could sense the lingering of death around her like a cowl. Desperately, he pulled her closer, holding her so tightly it hurt. He felt as if he was clutching at mist. "Take the pledge, Miss Lina," he pleaded.
Lina could barely feel him holding her, could barely hear him. Her eyes were still open, but they were unfocused. She was looking to the side, away from Xellos. She could see...something. It was incredibly bright, and seemed more real than Xellos.
Xellos watched her eyes dim, watched them lose their focus, and he shook her again. "You need to take the pledge, now," he pleaded.
And then it happened. It was sudden, but it happened. Lina's eyes slowly filled with tears, and she smiled faintly. She spoke, her voice barely audible. "Oh," she said, in disbelief. "Gourry...you waited for me..."
Xellos felt as if he had been encased with ice. The moment the last word left her lips, the light went out in her eyes, and he could feel her life leave her body. Her eyes didn't close, but the tears fell, and she suddenly felt heavy and empty.
Xellos shook his head, then looked away. His eyes focused on something, anything but the look in her eyes, the look that wasn't a look. The pain throbbed deep inside of him, but he ignored it, the shock of what he had just seen, and done, rendering him uncaring.
He held her tight, even as the crowds gathered around them. He wouldn't let go, even when the local authorities demanded that he did so, even when the local Healers tried to resuscitate Lina. It was only when he felt something hot run down his cheek and fall into her hair that he had to leave. He phased out, quite suddenly, leaving Lina behind him.
He wished that he could leave it all behind him.
