A/N: I mostly use the italic for sentences written in English but meant to be in another language, be it Trigedasleng or Italian. And if there are no " " it's someone's thoughts.

I'm sorry if there are mistakes, English is not my language.

If you like it, please leave a review! Enjoy!


Chapter Ten: Sky Princess mode on – Part Two

She trained with the rebels for the rest of the day and now she's wandering just out the sparring area. Wit said he would have been right back, he needed to change and then he would have walked Clarke back to the village. So the sky girl is waiting for him watching the rebels getting ready for dinner.

Pretty much everyone looks at her, but no one attempts to talk to her, no one stops, some linger and struggle to contain their curiosity, but they seem to decide it wouldn't be wise to go to her. After all they do know her as the destroyer of the Mountain. And maybe they don't want to anger Malaya even more. Yeah, Clarke thinks that more than because of her reputation, the rebels don't dare talk to her because they fear Malaya's anger.

Clarke thinks back at the training. Liri actually is a great warrior. She's more disciplined than anyone else among these people, as if she had received an actual training to become a warrior. She'll have to ask Wit more about her. Liri didn't show any sympathy for Clarke, but she wasn't against her either. When they fought, the woman chastised her and showed her how to do better, she taught Clarke like she does with everyone else in there. And Clarke really appreciated that, the warrior also said that Clarke would be able to survive some soldiers, but she has a long way before being able to actually fight a battle against them.

Liri always highlights the weak points of everyone and tells them how to improve them, but she also tells them what their strong points are and how to use them to survive in case they still have to generally improve. She knows what each one of the rebels needs to get better, she knows them better than anyone else. So Clarke knows they couldn't have a better teacher.

If Clarke thought that Nyx dances when she fights, well then Liri flies. She seems to floats right above the ground, her movements swift and light. Clarke was amazed by her art. Fighting suits the woman perfectly, the fire in her eyes seems to light up her sword too, and her arms convey a passion well controlled by the experience the warrior seems to have.

And that's it. Passion. Oh yes, Clarke made a beautiful speech about passion, and it wasn't a lie. But she feels like a liar anyway, she took down the Mountain out of desperation. The alliance with the grounders was out of passion and courage, but the final victory was out of desperation. She had to get her friends back, there was nothing else, nothing else mattered, that's why she won. She's no hero, she truly is the monster she told them she became, she gave up her humanity to save her friends.

"Victory stands at the back of sacrifice." No! Fuck off, Lexa! Leave me alone.

But her mind couldn't leave her alone, just like the ghosts of the people she killed or left behind couldn't let her go. No, it's not like that. It's her. Clarke can't let them go. Clarke can't let the monster go, Clarke can't let Lexa go. Why? Maybe because it's better being a monster than not being anything at all. She's void and she's nothing anymore, but instead of embracing her dead existence she holds on to the monster. Anything is better than nothing.

That's why she's here, that's why she has to help these people. If she could find something else to be again, maybe she could let go of the monster. Maybe she could let her past go, without forgetting it and without becoming nothingness. She needs to try at least. But she doesn't deserve to be someone again, and as long as she believes that she doesn't deserve it she won't be able to be anything else than the monster.

But the passion she spoke about...she can't find it anymore. She feels like there's no passion left inside her. How could she tell them about passion when, for her, that feeling, that power is only a memory? She feels hypocrite all over again, but she doesn't get time to tell herself that yet another time, because a girl is approaching her.

She's looking at Clarke with curiosity written all over her face and she's smiling, but it's totally not a shy smile, it's a bright, wide one. Her hair is brown with shades of red and it curls wildly around her face, her eyes are a bright brown and they're shining with a smile.

"So, you're Clarke, right? The Sky Princess." she says it lightly, as if it were just a joke, just a title in a kids game, but she also sounds excited and she doesn't hesitate before coming right in front of Clarke.

"I'm Faith." the girl extends an arm and Clarke grabs it with hers. "I heard what you said, you're right. I've been wanting to fight since forever, but all we do is trying to survive the soldiers and make our people survive as well. It's not enough, we should protect all our people, we should fight for our freedom."

Clarke doesn't really know what to say, this girl looks so young. "How old are you?" Clarke can't quite refrain the concern from her voice.

"I'm sixteen autumns."

She's not so younger than her, but Clarke still feels like she's in front of a child. She hopes in a better time a girl of that age could be free from the thought of death and war, from the need to fight, but by now Clarke knows that on the ground even in time of peace you need to grow up quickly and learn to survive. So being almost a warrior at sixteen years old is nothing new. Maybe in other times or in a different village, Faith would already be a soldier or a warrior at someone's command.

"Liri says I would already be a warrior if we were back at when she was young." Faith is open and doesn't seem to care about the fact that Clarke is still a stranger. Clarke is surprised by this, most of the people in the village have been kind to her, but she expected more doubting from the rebels. But yet again Clarke has to remind that these are only fighters, they're not trained, they only fight as they can, they are no soldiers or warriors and they probably know nothing about real war.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, right, you don't know. Liri was..." she hesitates a bit but then she goes right back into talking freely. "She was a warrior in King Kyr's army. She has always been loyal to the King and she still is, she always fought the Queen."

"I thought Nyx was the first to rebel in the village." Clarke furrows her brows.

"Indeed. Liri came back to the village after that." this time the girl seems to decide that it's time to shut up about the matter. "But that's not my story to tell."

Clarke can only nod because she really doesn't know what to say, but that doesn't seem a problem for the girl.

"What about you?" Clarke fears the questions of the girl, she doesn't want to talk about the past, she will have to with Nyx and the others, but she's not ready to speak about it with everyone. "How is the space? How was living up there? Because that's where you come from, right?"

Clarke lets out a relieved sigh. This she can do.

She spent a lot of time with Faith, she told the girl about the space, about how she could see Earth from up there, how it wasn't just as cool as she could think. She told her how she longed to see trees and fields, to feel the wind and the seasons on her skin. She even told Faith about the dreams she had about Earth, and she recalled her first day on the ground, how the first time she walked the earth everything just seemed amazing. "Well, earth is a wonder, but it's not always good and amazing. Sometime is more a nightmare than a dream." the girl said. "I guess I thought about Earth as you think about the sky. Both are much better in our dreams." was Clarke's reply. And then Faith surprised her again. "You know what...all considered I still think that in general it's more a dream than a nightmare. Life is always a wonder, no matter where you are, if you manage to be alive, that's the best thing ever. No matter how much death and pain are there, no matter how many wars break and how many people die, life is worth it. Life is what always matters. Here we're trying to survive, but that is so wrong, we shouldn't survive, we shouldn't even wish to survive. The only thing we should fight for is the opportunity to live. Yeah, it sounds stup..." But Clarke interrupted her. She was amazed by the girl, maybe there really is hope for these people. "You are so right, you can't even imagine. But people can't see it, they need to survive before they can live." And yet again that girl proved herself to be a real wonder. "No. That's why life is better. You can die and live even through death. If you live, death can't kill you. If you only survive, your death will actually be the end."

Clarke can't stop thinking about what Faith said. Wit walked her back to the village, Clarke asked him to tell Aeryn she wouldn't be there for dinner, she needed time to think about what to say to the girl. Wit promised he wouldn't tell Aeryn anything, but he told her to hurry up, because soon Aeryn will know from some rebel. Clarke is aware of that, but she can't get Faith out of her mind.

That girl has so much passion for life. She reminds Clarke of herself when she first came down on the ground. The Clarke of some time ago would have totally agreed with Faith, but now she isn't sure, deep down she knows she still believes life to be more important than surviving, but she understands why people need to survive before living. But pretending for a moment that people could put life before surviving, wouldn't it be nice? Wouldn't be nice to put love and life before your very existence?

No, they can't and never will have that. This life is about surviving, maybe there's something after death, or somewhere where they could put life before anything, but not here, not now. There's no time for dreams and Faith will understand that soon as well as Clarke did.

She tries to concentrate about Aeryn, what will she say? How will her host react?


Indra really needs to get it over with. She will tell Heda that the Skai Prisa is alive and she will trust her Commander's judgement about what they should do with this information. Or, she hopes, what they shouldn't do, because actually they just shouldn't do anything. It's not their business anymore and if the Skai Prisa has survived the Mountain, she'll survive winter and woods. Maybe. If she doesn't, it's still none of their business, the alliance is over, they need to keep an eye on the skaikru in case they seek revenge, even if they probably won't, but their Princess is none of their concerns.

Then why is she still out of the Commander's tent? Well, okay, maybe Indra is a little worried about her Heda's reaction, perhaps she's afraid that Lexa will send scouts to find the Skai Prisa. Just maybe. Surely she trusts her Commander and she blindly believes in her...but she can't get the image of a broken Lexa out of her mind. It's probably better for Lexa to think that Clarke is dead, and Indra doesn't want to think about what she could do knowing that the girl lives.

So, well, maybe (just maybe!) Indra is also concerned about giving Lexa hope when the sky girl could actually die at any moment because of the dangers in the woods or the winter. If Lexa sends someone to look for Clarke believing the girl to be alive and they find the sky girl's body, Lexa couldn't take it and Indra is afraid that this time the break would be even worse. She doesn't want Lexa to be hurt. But Lexa is the Commander and she is her general, so they both need to follow their duty.

That's why she finally announces herself at the Commander's tent, even if she hates the idea of a broken Lexa, even if she knows that for Lexa will be even more difficult to focus on her duty knowing that the girl is alive.

When the voice of the Commander tells her to come in, Indra shakes her head and gets inside as Heda's general.

"The Skai Prisa did not die. She left Camp Jaha after destroying the Mountain." when she says the words she can see Lexa's eyes shooting up and staring at her without actually seeing her.

The Commander's look is full of pain, relief, concern, hope, fear, worry, guilt, hurt. But Indra can see the little sparkle of a flame that hasn't been there in a while, since the Skai Prisa had been at her side. Maybe the Commander knowing the news isn't a bad thing, maybe something good for their people could come from that little invisible fire.

That is until Lexa speaks and strides out of the tent.