Chapter 11: For love or practicality?

Later on that night after Daniel had gone to bed and Margaret had tucked Katie in she and Hawkeye were sitting on the front veranda talking.

"Your Dad's right Hawkeye what are we going to do?" Margaret asked.

"We should think of what's best for Katie." Hawkeye replied.

"I agree, but that still leaves the question pretty much open." Margaret answered.

"Well should we get married?" Hawkeye asked straight out.

"What?" Margaret asked.

"Should we get married." Hawkeye answered in the same tone as before.

"Hawkeye you're crazy." Margaret replied.

"Why? What's wrong with marriage, you did it once." Hawkeye replied.

"Yes, and you know how that turned out. Hawkeye, after my marriage I don't believe in marrying someone just because it's convenient or because it's 'the right thing to do'. I want to marry for love. I don't think I could handle being heartbroken again." Margaret answered.

"What makes you think I would break your heart?" Hawkeye asked.

"It's just the way you are. You can never stay with a women for longer than a few months. You're not the marrying type." Margaret said. "All my life I've been involved in convenient relationships, I know what it's like. I can't go through that again. Not now that I have Katie." she added.

"Now that we have Katie, Margaret listen she's our daughter, she's not alone and neither are you. You don't need to worry, I won't break your heart. I couldn't do that to Katie or you." Hawkeye replied.

"It's not that simple Hawkeye. I want to marry for love for all the things I haven't really had in a relationship. I can't just marry you just like that, we're not even in a relationship. We're not in love." Margaret said.

"But Margaret I do love you." Hawkeye said, sincerely.

"What did you say?" Margaret asked, surprised by his comment.

"I said I do love you." Hawkeye replied.

"Hawkeye how can you just say that? How can you be sure?" Margaret asked.

"I mean it Margaret. Really." Hawkeye said, hoping to reassure her. "Just think about it and let me know in the morning." he added.

Once Hawkeye had gone back inside Margaret sat and thought about what he had just said. She didn't know what to believe. She didn't know if he was telling the truth, that he really did love her or if he was just being a good friend. She felt it was typical of Hawkeye to do something like this for the sake of helping her, she believed that he would do almost anything for her if she needed help. That was the way their relationship as friends worked. If one needed a shoulder to cry on the other was there waiting. She knew he cared but she just didn't know if this is what she wanted. She wanted love. Was it too much to ask for? Was she convincing herself she needed love after all her failed and temporary relationships? Could Hawkeye Pierce be her 'custom fit in an off the rack world'? they certainly could relate to that. Both had relationships that fit into the off the rack world description but would it work? She just didn't know. It was going to be a long and sleepless night for her, she really wanted to give Hawkeye an answer, she just hoped she could.

oooooooooooooo

The next morning Margaret awoke quite early. She had been lying in her bed starring at the ceiling thinking about the whole situation for a while now. She recalled their years in Korea, not that those were memories she wanted to look back on. Although she had to admit there were some she didn't want to forget, but these memories were of people and the people were the one thing that made it seem bearable. Hawkeye was one of the people, he knew and understood her feelings towards a lot of things that the few people she had called friends barely even knew about. Laying there thinking about all this made Margaret realise Hawkeye was probably the only person who knew almost, if not everything about her. Maybe he even knew more than she did. But the ever present question of 'would I have love with Hawkeye Pierce?' plagued her mind. She felt she didn't deserve anything less than absolute genuine love. Was this too much to ask for? Did she have expectations that were too high for the 'off the rack' relationship she had with Hawkeye? She just plain and simply didn't know.

While Margaret was deep in thought Hawkeye and Daniel were sitting at the bench in the kitchen eating their breakfast and discussing Margaret.

"So, you two decide anything?" Daniel asked, chewing on his piece of toast.

"Well not really. I think I may have blown it." Hawkeye answered.

"How do you mean?" Daniel asked.

"I told her I loved her." Hawkeye replied.

"You did what? Hawk, haven't I taught you anything?" Daniel exclaimed.

"What?" Hawkeye asked.

"Hawk, why'd you just blurt that out? Do you love her?" Daniel asked, picking up some more toast.

"I think so, I certainly feel very strongly about her. She's a great person Dad." Hawkeye replied.

"Hawk, It sounds to me like she needs more than 'I think so.' She's been hurt in the past right?" Daniel said.

"Yeah she has. I don't want that to happen to her again." Hawkeye replied.

"Well give her time Hawk. Use some of that legendary Pierce charm we have." Daniel said.

"Right Dad. I don't think legendary Pierce charm is the sort of thing that works on Margaret Houlihan." Hawkeye answered, stealing his Dad's last piece of toast and quickly putting it in his mouth and walking away.

"Hey, that was my toast!" Daniel exclaimed.

All he received in reply was a jumble of words making no sense. Hawkeye was off to take a shower. Once he had gone upstairs, Margaret finally came out of her room. She was dressed in her pyjamas and a dressing gown.

She saw Daniel cleaning up so she went over and offered to help.

"Good morning love." Daniel said.

"Can I help you with that?" Margaret asked.

"No, no you just sit down there and I'll get you some breakfast. A Daniel Pierce special." Daniel asked.

"And what would that be?" Margaret asked.

"The best eggs and bacon you'll ever have." Daniel replied.

"Is it as good as your coffee?" Margaret asked.

"I see you've been spending too much time around my son." Daniel replied.

Margaret laughed and then said, "Actually I've been thinking a lot about your son lately."

"Oh have you now?" Daniel asked.

"Yes I have. He told me he loved me last night and I just don't know what to do about it." Margaret answered.

"Come, step into my office." Daniel said asking Margaret to come around to the bench.

"Not only are you an expert coffee maker and chef but you're also a psychiatrist?" Margaret asked, amused by Daniel's comment.

"I'm just a single father." Daniel replied simply. "Now back to my son. Tell me about it."

"He asked if we should get married then I told him I wanted to marry for love not just because it was convenient or the right thing to do. After my previous marriage I feel I deserve that." Margaret explained. "And then he said that he did love me. And he wanted an answer in the morning as to what we'll do. I've been thinking about this so much and I just don't know. I don't want to jump into another relationship that may fail."

"I see. Well Ben cares about you a lot Margaret. He really does. I've never seen him care for a woman as much as he cares for you. Don't underestimate him. You really matter to him and I think he does love you." Daniel replied then he asked, "Do you love him?"

"I care about him a lot." Margaret answered. "He's a great friend."

"Come on there must be more Margaret. I've seen the way you look at him and the way you are with him. You have something special Margaret a friendship that is strong. You have love Margaret. It's right there in front of you. I know that look Margaret, I shared it with my wife. Do what your heart tells you Margaret. It'll lead you on the right path." Daniel explained.

"Thank you Daniel. You've been really helpful. I really appreciate it." Margaret answered.

"That's alright love." Daniel replied.

ooooooooooooooooo

Later on Hawkeye and Margaret decided to take a walk. They needed to sort their situation out. Daniel suggested that Hawkeye and Margaret go off and he and Katie would go into town and get some ice-cream. Katie liked this idea, she was growing very fond of her new grandpa and he was growing fond of her too. This made Margaret especially happy. More than anything she wanted Katie to be happy.

Hawkeye took Margaret down to the beach. There weren't usually many people down there. He didn't really understand why, as it was picturesque in it's beauty. The water was radiantly blue, glittering with silver specks created by the sun. And the sand was smooth like silk, not the rough sand you sometimes find on beaches. It was soft and gentle on their bear feet. He liked the seclusion it was a great place to just walk and think. He found it very relaxing. He hoped Margaret would be able to feel the effects of serenity when he took her down there and they would be able to talk about their situation and find a resolution.

"It's beautiful." Margaret said, marvelling at the water. "It's magic."

"Now you see why I raved so much about this place when we were in that hell hole." Hawkeye replied.

"Defiantly. It's amazing." Margaret answered.

"So, what are we going to do? Did you think of an answer?" Hawkeye asked. He decided to jump right into the issue.

"I haven't stop thinking about it." Margaret answered. "In fact it's all I've been thinking about." she added.

"Me either actually." Hawkeye replied. "What did you decide?" he asked.

"I want to love you Hawkeye. Really I do. But I just don't want the friendship we share to be jeopardised." Margaret said. "We get along so well as friends, but if you remember correctly we tried lovers and we know how that turned out." she added.

"Margaret, I know. But we weren't prepared then. That was not real love Margaret and you know it. If you also remember that sparked the friendship you value so much." Hawkeye replied.

"I know. I'm just worried that we will end up hating each other and I don't want that to happen Hawkeye." Margaret said.

"We won't let it happen Margaret. We can do this." Hawkeye said. "I heard you and Dad talking this morning, he's right you know." he added.

"I hope so." Margaret said.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Hawkeye said, feeling a rush of joy through his body.

"I think it does. Let's try it." Margaret said.

"Thank you Margaret. Thank you so much." Hawkeye replied then he turned to her and kissed her. In the way that only he could and did with her. Dramatically and passionately, brining out the passion he had and it was returned by Margaret showing the passion she had.

"That was certainly a great way of thanking someone!" Margaret said after they pulled away.

"You don't think I thank just anyone like that do you?" Hawkeye said, laughing.

"I hope not." Margaret said.

"You just want it all for your self. I guess liver can't replace my lips after all hey?" Hawkeye asked, smiling with his trademark smile at her.

"I guess not." Margaret said in reply.

This was going to be the last chapter, but I decided it would be too long if I hadn't stopped so another chapter is on its way! Please review. They mean a lot to me! Thanks :)