Authors Note: I almost didn't get this finished today, but after the Great show today I felt motivated. Thanks to all for the great feedback. I swear to those worried that this is gonna be a liasonish fic that it is not. I feel that if Jason happened to be alive, and happened to return (w/ or w/o recast) that it really wouldn't matter if Jason 'forgave' AJ. There is still the male ego to contend with.
Chapter Eleven
Her feet were killing her, and for the third time that evening Elizabeth wondered what she'd been thinking when she'd slipped her feet into heels instead of her sensible flats. It wasn't just her feet that persisted in making her uncomfortable, but the glances she could feel from the other people gathered to pay their respects.
It had almost gotten to the point where she wanted to stand on one of the chairs and announce that she knew what she was doing was a little messed up. But honestly she stopped caring what their petty little minds would think after her first cup of coffee that morning.
When AJ had asked her the day after their date if she would be there with him at the service she immediately wanted to decline. Not because her interest in him had waned, but mostly because it'd increased. Somehow the thought of standing by AJ's side at Jason's memorial service felt wrong. Having the mourners see them together felt disrespectful and she didn't want to deal with the backlash.
But sitting on the front porch, sipping her first cup of coffee, she couldn't wipe the picture of AJ standing by Monica's side, bearing the brunt of the glares from the other guests on his own. He was going to be in a room of people who hated him most; endearing their cruel snide remarks while trying to pay his respects to a brother he dearly wanted to redeem himself to.
Then it hit her like a load of bricks, the only people who'd be looking cross eyed at her, were people she owed nothing to. It was the Sonny, Carly and Sams of the town who would be the most insulted. She was worrying herself sick over people who meant nothing to her in this phase of her life. It was a stupid reason not to support AJ and in return be supported by him.
So here she was, for better or worse, her feet on fire and dealing with her fair share of the stink eye.
"Elizabeth I want to thank you again for coming." Elizabeth turned to Monica and offered the older woman a smile of support. She knew what Monica really meant, was thank you for standing by my oldest son.
"Of course."
"I know this is hard on you. Seeing how close you and Jason were." These words were spoken a little lower, her eyes moving to one of the pictures on display of Jason's life. "The picture you brought . . ."
Placing a hand on Monica's arm, Elizabeth felt her forced smile waiver. "It's yours. I have a copy at home." This time both of their eyes skipped the one of the few pictures she'd been able to take of Jason and Jake. It'd been taken at the hospital the day she'd been discharged.
"I wish I had a chance . . ." Letting her words die, Monica sighed. "I'm not sure I've ever apologized for my poor behavior."
"You don't need to." And she meant it. "I know I've said worse when my emotions are out of sorts."
"Is it me, or is this the strangest assortment of people ever gathered?" Coming to stand slightly behind them, AJ let his eyes scan the room. "I kinda wish Tracy stayed so I could watch her insult someone other than me."
Trying to use humor to push away the pain that was just at the surface of his face, AJ sipped on his club soda absently. Elizabeth was quickly learning that some of the off color comments coming out of AJ's mouth was his way of painting a hard shell around himself for protection. Several times that day she'd witnessed AJ close to tears as he stood staring at pictures of Jason's life.
During the actual service he held onto her hand tightly, as they listened quietly as several people spoke. It was hard, hearing and seeing people who were closest to Jason say their final farewell. Many attempts at humor to lighten the mood in the room had failed miserably when tears interrupted their words. Her heart broke a little when Spinelli took the podium, like a little boy lost without his mentor in the world; he softly spoke from his heart before rushing back to his seat.
She hadn't wanted to speak. Not in front of a room full of people who would silently roll their eyes as she spilled her soul. AJ had insisted she do it. Explaining how he understood she once had a connection to his brother and Jason deserved to have her speak. But no matter how he persisted she tried to explain it wasn't her and Jason's way. That she had already said her goodbyes at the bridge. It was how he would have wanted it.
"Why don't you two take a break?" Looking tired and in desperate need of a break herself, Monica took in the amount of people still milling around. "It looks like this may last a little longer than we expected."
Looking like a boy who'd been handed an easy out of a grueling punishment, AJ didn't think twice before taking her hand and leading her to the door. Before they could make their escape they encountered Spinelli trying to do the same.
"My humblest apologies." With a sweep of his arm to indicate they proceed before them, he kept his eyes downcast.
"AJ have you met Damian Spinelli?" Smiling at the young man who'd been Jason's shadow over the last few years, Elizabeth looked up at AJ. "He and Jason were very close."
"You make me blush Maternal One." As if to prove her point his face bloomed red. "I have heard of your recent resurrection." Eyes shifting, still unable to look either in the eye, Spinelli looked almost ill.
"Ah, thanks." Elizabeth grinned at AJ's questioning glace. Spinelli was an odd duck, but a wonderful guy.
"Well I must part ways. Duty calls." And just like that Spinelli darted off.
"What was that?" Staring after the younger man, AJ shook his head.
"That was Spinelli. Strange, but extremely loyal." With each step they took away from the room, Elizabeth felt her mood lighten.
"So I hope you don't get mad at me, but I kinda promised the boys I'd take them sledding tomorrow." His expression was unsure, almost looking as though he'd crossed a line.
"Hope you know you've committed yourself." She answered cheekily. "To hours of playing in the snow."
His brows hitched and he pulled on their joined hands bringing her closer as they entered the kitchen. "I was hoping you'd join us."
"Only if we can build a snow fort." It felt good to let go of the somber feeling, even if it was only for a few minutes.
"Deal." Swinging her around so they were facing one another, AJ eyes sparkled with mischief. "Maybe after we can do hot chocolate and watch a movie?"
The newness of their closeness made her heart skip a beat. "Of course." Nothing sounded better. A day in the fresh air, playing with the boys, followed up by sitting near the fire sipping on hot chocolate while snuggled together on the couch.
"If you're a good girl I may even spring for pizza." His hand reached out, brushing her hair over her shoulder to expose her neck. His eyes ran along the line from her shoulder up before his fingers tickled their way up.
Unable to help herself, Elizabeth closed her eyes tilted her head to the side. She'd forgotten how good it could feel, to be touched by a gentle hand of someone she felt a connection to. His fingers were gone and she knew without even looking that he'd taken a step back to give them some space.
"I have it on good authority that Alice has some prime cheesecake hidden away in the fridge." His voice trembled a little. "When's the last time you ate?"
Thinking back through the day Elizabeth grimaced. "Coffee this morning."
"That's what I thought." AJ nodded. "Hop up on a stool. I'm gonna make you a world famous ham sandwich. If you eat all your lunch I may be persuaded to share some dessert." She knew he was trying to sound light and teasing, but she heard and felt his innuendo.
"World famous huh?"
"Yup. I make a killer ham and cheese. My question is mustard or mayo?"
"Both." Taking a seat at the island on one of the tall stools, Elizabeth watched as he rolled up his sleeves and started pulling items out.
"Tomato?"
"Oh and lettuce too if you have it." Her stomach growled a little and Elizabeth blushed at his knowing look. "I feel honored, having a Quartermaine dirtying their hands to make me lunch."
With a deep chuckle, AJ shook his head. "How quickly you forget, Q's never have a problem getting our hands a little dirty. But you're right; we're a little inept in the kitchen."
Licking her lips as he placed her meal in front of her, Elizabeth dug in. "I didn't realize how hungry I was." She said between bites, thinking it was probably the best sandwich ever. "This is great."
"You're a cheap date." Giving her a look, AJ shook his head. "Are you telling me you're more impressed with a ham and cheese than you were with the Metro Court?"
"Maybe." Drawing out her words, Elizabeth picked up the other half of her meal and took a big bite. Chewing thoughtfully she swallowed before speaking again. "Don't get me wrong, every girl likes to be treated out to a nice restaurant once in a while. But I'm more of a home cooked meal kind of gal."
"I like the sound of that." AJ smiled shyly.
"Can you make anything else or are you a one-time wonder?"
"Ouch." Eyes wide, AJ blinked a few times at her sass before laughing. "I'll have you know, I make a mean box of Mac 'n' Cheese."
"Well the boys will be pleased." Elizabeth's mouth twitched. "But it seems I have my work cut out for me convincing the three of you that there're more food groups out there."
"I look forward to it." And he did. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate you giving me a chance to get to know you and the boys better."
He looked absolutely vulnerable, as though putting himself out there was costing him, and Elizabeth admired his honesty. "AJ I can see you've changed."
"Yeah, but with my track record . . ." Licking at his lips, he heaved a long breath as he fought to keep his composure. He could see she wanted to stop him, but he needed to say this. "I've done some really horrible things; I can't undo them."
"AJ, I know you did." Not willing to sugarcoat his past, Elizabeth shrugged. "I can't pretend the past didn't happen. But you've grown and became a better person since then. I've done some horrible things too, things I can't change, so who am I to hold your mistakes against you?"
"Still." His brow lowered as he fidgeted.
"Who's to say you're still going to want to be around me when you find out about my past?" Hating how the fun, teasing mood shifted, Elizabeth knew this conversation was inevitable. The sooner they worked through it, the sooner they could dismantle some of the walls between them.
He remained quiet for a few minutes, staring down at the counter top as he thought about what he was about to say. "I know about Jake."
Like a punch in the gut, Elizabeth closed her eyes. "What did you hear?"
"That you and Jason kept him a secret."
"And?"
"That he died."
There was so much more to it than that, but those deeds done to Jake weren't on her. The other parts didn't need to be spilled today. "I've wanted to tell you. It's not like I was keeping him a secret from you. It's just so hard -."
"To talk about him?" AJ finished. "Michael may not have died, but there were times over the years that it felt like he had. Holidays and his birthday were the worst."
"Yeah." Perhaps he did get it, Elizabeth thought as AJ came out from behind the counter and embrace her in the warmth of his arms.
"Oh, sorry." The voice broke them apart as they turned to see Sam come to a halt. "I was just looking for a microwave to warm Danny's bottle."
"I can do that." AJ offered. Giving Elizabeth a gentle squeeze before stepping away, AJ took the bottle from Sam's hand and went to the microwave, leaving the two women to eye the other silently. He could almost feel the temperature drop, and the sooner he could usher Sam away, the better.
He was starting to wonder what exactly was really going on. Elizabeth didn't seem like the type of person to hold a grudge unless there was a pretty good reason to. If she was able to look past his infractions, and see the person he was trying to become, then whatever Sam had done must've been pretty major. Something a little more than two girls going after the same guy.
When the microwave dinged, AJ rolled his eyes up and thanked the gods before grabbing Danny's meal and rushing to where Sam was waiting. "There you go."
"Thanks." Sam smiled up at him, before turning a smirk on Elizabeth and walking out.
"Wow." AJ whistled under his breath. "Don't suppose you want to explain what's going on between the two of you?"
"Perhaps another time." Frowning Elizabeth stared a moment longer at the door Sam disappeared through. "I believe you promised dessert if I finished my lunch like a good girl." She was totally changing the subject, and was relieved when AJ's lips curved.
"I did, didn't I?"
Checking the address again on his GPS on his phone, Spinelli wished Jason could've just for once found a meet up point that didn't look like a set from CSI. Dark, creepy, and seedy were always the common themes. But he supposed it couldn't be helped, seeing how his mentor couldn't really check into a motel without giving himself up.
Slipping into the abandoned building, knowing his meeting was not going to go well; Spinelli tiptoed to the back room. The sound of scratching in the walls followed him down the dark hallway, making him quicken his pace. Not even Norman Bates would want to spend more than a few minutes here.
Relieved to reach his destination, Spinelli knocked swiftly three times, taking a step back and waited. Movement from inside could barely be heard, but soon many locks were being manipulated. Quietly the door creaked open, and taking a step inside it shut quickly behind him.
"What'd you find?" Efficient and to the point, Jason moved from the door to the makeshift desk at the far side of the room.
"I was able to narrow down the list considerably." Placing his bag on the table, Spinelli pulled out his computer while removing a thumb drive from his pocket. "Your suspects went from half the town, to four."
"And?" Knowing what his fearless leader was pushing for, Spinelli fidgeted with his passwords while he tried to form the right words. "There are three out of the four who fit all the parameters. Of those three, two are still alive."
"Maggie." Naming off the only deceased person on the list, Jason sighed. "Which means Steven -."
Nodding, Spinelli finished for him. "Top of the list."
And it all boiled down to the last one. "The third?"
"I am at a stalemate. I can neither confirm nor deny." Sighing sadly, Spinelli shook his head. "I feel I have failed you."
"You didn't fail me." Raking his fingers through his hair, Jason looked down at the tip of his shoe.
"Sir, I know I may be out of line in saying this, but did you add her name to the list because you wanted her to have been involved, or were you trying to validate your belief in her?" Just speaking the words made Spinelli wince.
"I honestly don't know." The truth of his answer felt like dead weight in the room.
Pursing his lips, knowing his next train of thought would probably not be taken well. "I- I know before your . . . disappearance you were at an impasse. Torn if you will, between the Fair Samantha and The Maternal One -." Feeling Jason's gaze cut right through him, Spinelli threw up his hands. "Not that I judge you, they are both incredible and it would be hard for any male to decide between the two." His mentor's eyes kept bearing into him. "Not that I personally would know, mind you. In my awkward way I am only trying to suggest perhaps you would find an answer to that question if you were to sort out your feelings to the two women in question."
"This has nothing to do with my . . . feelings toward either of them. Right now all I can concentrate on is getting Jake back and taking care of the people who were behind his kidnapping."
"May I just add one last comment?" Spinelli's appearance indicated he'd rather take a head dive off an interstate bypass, but he was determined to speak his mind. "It appears that Elizabeth's heart may already belong to another. Your brother -." The tense threatening look Jason sent him made him gulp and rephrase. "AJ, seems to be just as smitten. I've done a little poking around-."
"If this doesn't have to do with Jake I don't want to hear it." Turning his back, Jason went to the only window in the room and looked out into the night.
"I- It does. I felt your . . . concern at our last parting of ways and took it upon myself to add your bro – um AJ to the list. I can tell you without any doubt he had no prior knowledge of Jake's existence prior to rising from the ashes. His interest in Elizabeth is pure of heart."
"I said I don't want to talk about it." Stressing his words through clenched teeth, Jason kept staring out into the night.
The phone in Spinelli's pocket chirped, and with a flood of relief the younger man fished around his pockets for the device. "Spinelli." After a moment's pause, he nodded a few times. "Yes." More nodding. "Y- Can you repeat that?" Panic filled eyes lifted to Jason who turned when his tone went from casual to surprised.
"What time?" Rushing back to his computer and with a few quick clicks he brought up a blank screen. "T-Thank you, I'll pass along the information."
"What was that?"
"The security company you hired for Elizabeth's house."
