*Whispers because I have laryngitis as a result of a sinus infection and bronchitis combo*
Happy Friday to you beautiful people.
We are officially at the half way point for this story. I cannot believe how fast it has gone already. I hope you all have enjoyed meeting Edward as much as I have enjoyed sharing him with you.
Beta'd by the magnificent Brie; any mistakes I make after her work, are mine alone.
Without further ado…
Chapter Eleven – Touching Home
"Having a partner who has nothing to do with Hollywood helps keep things in perspective."
-Guy Pearce
I froze and dropped my phone into the sink.
"Shit!" I exclaimed as I picked it back up. Thankfully, it was dry and hadn't been damaged."Sorry. Hi."
I was at a loss for words. What do you say to the one person you thought had walked out of your life forever?
"Is that all you're going tosay? Hi?"
"What do you want me to say? I miss you? I'm sorry? I said all of that over two weeks ago when I wrote you that email and you never responded to it." I sat on the bed, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't, I continued. "Is there something I can do for you? Is it about the script?"
"No, it's not about work. I just miss you."
It was a start. "I miss you too."
"Are you sure you do? Are you sure you haven't already left your life here behind? You left me behind."
It wasn't even five o'clock in the evening, but I wondered if he was drunk.
"I didn't abandon you or my life. I sent you a script that I wrote and finished in less than four weeks. No, it's not Writer's Guild or Academy worthy, but it's cute and quirky―perfect for Disney if you pitch it right.
"I've been discovering things about myself while I've been here, things I'd never realized before. I'm happier here than I ever was back in L.A. I've learned to not let people walk all over me. I've begun making friends who don't look at me like their next paycheck. They like me for who I am.
"You know, I said I was sorry already, but if you need to hear it again, fine. I'm sorry that me loving you as a friend isn't enough for you, but we both know you really aren't in love with me. I'm sorry that I want us both to have the kind of love where the rest of life's drama just falls away and all the everyday bullshit that we have to deal with doesn't matter. That with one look, the world and everything else ceases to exist. We deserve that kind of unflinching love."
"Do you love him? This Edward fellow?" he asked.
"I'm falling for him, yes. He's really special, but it's only been six weeks and I honestly think love scares the shit out of me. It always has, but this is the closest I've ever felt to being in love."
"Does he love you?"
"He tells me he does." That answer made me smile.
It's a wonderful feeling to have someone tell you they fell in love with you at first sight. I always believed that only happened in movies. It was strange to have what was honest and real happening between us. We still had a lot to learn about each other, but I might eventually even learn that happily ever after isn't just for Hollywood.
"You were right," he mumbled.
"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, not really catching what he said.
"You were right."
Wow. I wasn't expecting that. I may have hoped for it, but I never expected it.
"About what?" I was genuinely curious.
"I love the idea of you. It would be so easy with you, but at the same time I still don't see why that means we wouldn't work."
At least we were getting somewhere.
"Because easy isn't something to be proud of. I want to be pushed to go out and experience life and not coddled into a protective corner. To not let a day pass me by because I'm scared the paparazzi are going to follow me wherever I go. Do you know that I've been out snowmobiling and snowshoeing and never once had to look over my shoulder worried that a picture I didn't want taken wasn't?
"Edward has shown me that there is more to life than following in my parents' footsteps. I love writing, you know I do, but there is still so much I want to see and do in the world, and I want him by my side as I do it. I have almost everything I've ever wanted here."
"So you will be staying then?" he asked resignedly.
"I don't know yet. I know I want to stay until at least mid-July. Edward and I will have to talk about it when the time comes, but right now I'm just living in the moment."
"Okay."
The line was quiet again. I had to ask the question I needed to know the answer to. "Are we ever going to be friends again?"
"In time I think we will be. I want you to be happy, Iz. I wanted you to be happy with me, but you've pretty much said that's never going to be a possibility. Maybe when I come and visit we'll be able to talk about it in person," Jasper said with a deep and heavy sigh.
"So you still want to come up here?" I asked, completely shocked that was still a possibility.
"I need to check out this Edward guy and see if he's really worthy of an amazing woman such as you."
I rolled my teary eyes. That was the best friend I knew and loved. He was still in there and that was all that mattered. Time really was all we were going to need.
"You'll like him. He's lived a hard life, but came out of it so much better. As a matter of fact―" I turned to look at the clock; I was running late "―I need to be going. Edward is cooking me dinner tonight and I'm late. Thank you for calling, finally. I really want us to find a way back to the friendship we've always had." I felt like we were on the right path again.
"I could never say no to you," he said.
"I love you, Jizzy."
"I love you too, Izzy. Bye."
The phone disconnected and I did a little happy dance. I had to get to Edward so I could thank him for making me reach out to Jasper. After a quick glance in the mirror, Iwas out the door.
I quickly drove over to the chalet. Once I was parked I rushed insideand made my way to the training kitchen. I ignored all the voices trying to get my attention and ran down the corridor and into the kitchen, my heels clicking on the floor as I went.
I didn't even think, I just rushed right up to him and kissed him. I'd obviously caught him off guard since it took a moment before he responded, but when he did, it was magical. I moaned as he deepened the kiss, his tongue sought out mine. All thoughts left me and I lost myself into the kiss. His tongue danced with mine and my fingers tugged on his hair as I silently begged for more.
I felt the kiss all the way down to the bottoms of my feet. He tasted like cherries and chocolate and I couldn't get enough. I nibbled on his lower lip before sucking on it. He was the most sinful dessert before a filling dinner and I knew I would never feel like this again.
When the kiss ended and before I'd even come back down from heaven, Edward spoke. "Not that I minded, but what brought that on?"
"I wanted to thank you. I had planned on using words, but the second I saw you, I couldn't help but feel the need to kiss you," I said as I stared into his lovely eyes.
"Thank me for what?"
"I wanted to thank you for being the most loving and caring man in the world and supporting me through all the drama. I took your advice and wrote Jasper, and while it took him two weeks, he finally responded. There's still a lot of healing that needs to take place, but I finally feel like my best friend might be returning."
"Although I hate the idea of sharing your affections, I can see how much your friendship with him means to you. I'm happy I was able to help you reach out to him." He had a gleam in his eye that made me almost question his sincerity, but I let it go. I was too happy to rock the boat now.
"While I may love him, you're the only man I'm falling in love with."
"You promise?"
Edward's vulnerability was heart wrenching. "I promise."
He embraced me tightly and planted a searing kiss upon my lips. It was filled with more passion than the previous one we had just shared. I was rapidly becoming addicted to him and my heart raced with each movement of his sweet lips on mine.
I didn't think falling would be an issue for long. Some may say falling was half the battle; for me it was the whole war. My experience with successful relationships was practically nonexistent. Rose and Emmett weren't married after seven years together, my parent's marriage was a Hollywood sham, and I still hadn't had one positive relationship of my own to reflect on. Edward's faith and support were all I had to guide me in the right direction. When the time came, though, raising the white flag would be easy.
Right now I just wanted to eat and enjoy Edward's company.
~SCaSL~
Our physical relationship was slow moving, even after the spectacular kisses we had shared, and I was okay with it. I enjoyed the build-up and high school-like relationship we were developing. Or maybe it was college: How to Have an Adult Relationship 101.
We literally spent every free moment together. I'd never done that with anyone before. Hell, I'd never wanted to be around anyone for that long before. It was thrilling. I couldn't get enough of his time, so when the opportunity arose for adventures during business hours, I took them.
On one such occasion, Edward introduced me to a new fun winter activity: inner-tubing.
At first I was afraid I'd end up breaking something with the way the tube zoomed over the small hills, but once I realized the snow was rather soft where we were rode, I had a blast. I bounced up and down behind the snowmobile as he drove faster and faster, laughing the whole time. The wind chapped my skin, but the child-like fun he was always finding for me made me fall even more for the man.
After that, we went inside the chalet and had hot chocolate by the fire. We were all smiles, laughter, and sly glances. I was enjoying the slow building discovery of who he was while he learned about me in return.
He took time to listen to each of my posh childhood stories and gave me experiences that made up for all the things I'd missed doing as a kid. He even talked about taking me up to Bend for ice skating. I wasn't too keen on the idea of strapping my feet onto two blades, but he told me to suck it up. I scoffed at the comment and he reminded me if I could walk in high heels, I could do this too. I wasn't so sure, but luckily we still hadn't made a trip up there yet.
When we weren't working, we spent time in my cabin. I cooked us dinner and other times we worked together. We'd watch movies or just sit and talk. I learned more about his family and his hopes for the future.
"So tell me, do you all have rooms in the chalet or do you have a family cabin here?" I asked.
"Well, my parents have a huge cabin that we all grew up in. Alice, Leah, and Seth all still live there. I just finished building my own cabin. I knew I wanted my own space once I got back, nightmares and such, but then I thought about the type of home I'd want to raise a family in and ended up building a dream house," he stated.
"I took a lot of details that I loved about the chalet here and incorporated them into the house. I was evenable to employ the same company that handled the chalet's most recent remodel. I think it came out beautifully. The landscaping isn't finished, but that has to wait until late spring when the weather is more cooperative. Do you think you'd like to see it?"
"Like to? I'd love to! Can we go now?" I was excited by the thought of entering Edward's domain.
We left my SUV at the chalet and took the snowmobile to his home. It was a longer ride than I had anticipated. We started on a path beside the lake before we veered deeper into the woods. Finally the trees started to thin out and we were there.
Edward's house was incredible. It was a magnificent combination of my cabin and the chalet. Redwood shingles covered the house, with raw log and stone columns framing the front porch. From the front and the graded land it looked like a one-story home, but it was deceiving. The second-story was built below and housed the additional bedrooms and led out to a hot tub on the covered veranda. I loved everything about the outside, even if it was a complete contrast to my California bungalow style home.
The rustic vibe continued inside with exposed beams and wood-paneled walls. A stone fireplace and wooden floors rounded out the wide open great room. It was sparsely furnished and awaited a woman's touch. It was a bare palette, waiting fora bit of color to break up the browns in the woodwork.
The bathrooms were finished with natural stone tiles and natural lighting from the many windows. The master bath had a large two-person soaking tub that lent too many ideas for cold nights with Edward. The stand-alone shower had three separate shower heads and a bench seat to relax weary muscles after a long day. It looked just as inviting as the bathtub.
Edward's room had walnut stained wainscoting on the lower half of the room and on the ceiling. The rest of the walls were a warm cream. The furniture was also carved from natural logs and the king-size bed was covered in a fluffy duvet and pillows. I wanted to throw myself onto the bed and snuggle into the obvious softness.
"It's beautiful," I said when we finally finished the tour.
Edward smile and his shoulders relaxed at my words. A man's home may behis castle, but it doesn't mean they don't want anyone else to appreciate the aesthetics that they chose to make it comfortable. I laughed as his pleased response. How could I not like something that Edward put so much time and thought into?
"I'm glad you like it." He really was too cute for words sometimes.
"I love it. Have you lived here long?" I asked.
"No, only a few months. I wanted to let it air-out a bit before I settled in. All the fumes from the stains were overpowering at first."
"I can imagine," I replied as I looked around at the stained woodwork that was everywhere.
The thing that shocked me the most was the fact that he didn't have a television. This was the twenty-first century; I didn't know anyone who didn't own a TV. When I questioned it, he simply said he'd rather live in the world than watch it pass him by. He could always go to his parents if there was something he wanted to see. I could fault that logic, but I was still surprised. It did explain why he was pretty much clueless when it came to who I was.
We left shortly after that to go back to my cabin, where I made us a pot of soup. I didn't have much left into way of groceries so I would need to make a trip back to Klamath Falls or up to Bend soon, but that thought quickly dissipated as Edward moaned around the spoon in his mouth. I sat, mesmerized, as his eyes rolled back in his head and his Adam's apple bobbed when he smiled. How could any woman have a rational thought around this man?
As if that wasn't enough, he sat across from me in nothing but his jeans and a white tank-top. The muscles in his arms bulged as he flexed for another bite. This man would be the death of me. Hopefully some self-loving tonight would help elevate the built up pressure between my thighs. It couldn't hurt, right?
~SCaSL~
We spent time a lot of time the next week in his beautiful home, making out like teenagers and acting like prepubescent virgins. I had already begun to think my hymen had grown back since I hadn't had sex in almost two years. I didn't even own a vibrator. My fingers did all the work, and they weren't very big. I knew when he touched me for the first time I would respond like a downed live wire. I'd quiver and come fast, extremely sensitive to any lingering movement or pressure applied by his working-man hands.
When I was in Hollywood, I had already begun to think casual sex was only good for scratching that itch. It was why I hadn't had sex in so long, Jasper being the last time I'd done anything. I wanted the emotions and feelings that came with making love to a person who meant something to you. When I made the choice to wait, even through my relationship with Jacob, I knew there was a deeper reason. I just didn't know that reason or the feelings I wanted would turn out to be all within Edward.
Though I knew I was already falling in love with him, I still had things I needed to learn about him. He made me feel like the most important and special woman in the world, just like he had became the most important man in mine. He knew about my past relationships, but I still didn't know about his. I was still wondering about the one time he thought he'd been in love before.
We talked about the post-traumatic stress disorder that he was still suffering from and the scars he carried from the explosion that almost took his life. The PTSD was what had affected him after I had passed out when I fell after our first snowmobile ride and kissed him back into the present. We spoke about things that triggered memories for him and how he felt when he walked away from his career after he had been hurt. I felt like he was slowly letting me see all the pieces of the man he'd become, but still I needed more before I could take the final step of giving myself to him completely. I think he knew that too. He didn't pressure me and it made me fall even more.
When I finally mentioned taking the trip back to Klamath Falls, he offered to tag along. We loaded up my SUV with the ice chest and the storage bin so that the groceries wouldn't roll around. I felt like a nerd as I confessed my love for the store we were heading to. He threw his head back and laughed as I talked about it, but Mega Wal-Mart's and Super Target's weren't popping up all around my home in southern California. Fred Meyer's was an awesome store.
It was a fun trip. I learned Edward had a bit of a sweet tooth as he loaded the cart up with cookie dough and cake mixes. It was funny to see him act so young inside the store while I gathered up the healthy and responsible items. When our cart was finally full and I was positive we hadn't forgotten anything, we made our way to the check-out.
My breath hitched as I saw my face on one of the gossip rags. The headline read, "The Silent Swan in Seclusion." It wasn't too far from the truth, but the bullet points below were complete fabrication.
Edward turned my head from the horror in front of me as everything I hated about my life came flooding back.
He leaned in and whispered into my ear, "It doesn't matter what they say. You and I both know the truth, love."
I nodded as the tears began to gather in my eyes. I tried to focus on swiping my card through the machine to pay, but Edward stopped me. He had pulled out his wallet and began to reach for his card.
"No," I shook my head. "I got this."
He kissed my forehead and squeezed my hand. "Let me. Please."
I didn't have any fight left in me, so I just nodded.
It wasn't until we were on well on our way back that I finally felt like he knew he could exposed himself to me fully. He'd just witnessed what I dealt with on a daily basis back home and I was sure it made him see how horrible my life could be. I guess I was grateful for that part of the horrors I'd become used to.
He stared out at the road ahead and began to speak. "I was sixteen when I met Tanya…"
Would you believe me if I said I forgot it ended in ANOTHER cliffy? No…well I did. I actually finished this back in November so I honestly did forget, BUT if you can't wait until next we to find out what Edward had to say…just drop me a message and a teaser into the next chapter will magically appear in your PMs.
Have a great weekend! Hugs. :o)
