Separation Anxiety

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

A/N-thank you all very much for the kind reviews! :)

Part Ten-Sue Breaks Bella's Heart

Peace! That was what Bella and Jacob were craving. A little damn peace so they could sit back, relax and try to sort through the chaos that surrounded them. Everything had been so full on after the imprint had happened and Edward had attacked. Their heads were still reeling as well as their hearts. The imprint bond made them burn when they were close and turned cold when they were too far apart. The incessant need to be in each other's orbit was mind blowing for them, but not the others.

After the Cullen's had finally left Sam and Embry helped Jacob in the truck. Sam then jumped in the back. The others ran back to La Push on all fours. They had to leave the wrecked VW Rabbit by the side of the road. Jacob mourned its loss. He had spent many happy hours working on the old classic before he phased. On the journey home Bella sat on his lap so he could cradle her close. She had protested at first, worried that her slight weight would aggravate his injuries, but Jacob didn't care. He needed to feel her in his arms; it had been too long in his mind since he'd had the opportunity. It was a tight fit in the cab of the truck. Charlie was still out cold and kept lolling against Billy's shoulder as he drove, which irritated him immensely.

No one spoke about what had just gone down. They were all lost in their own heads as they worried about what the hell was going to happen next. The whole thing had been like a crazy roller coaster ride, and right now they were on a downward dip. No one believed that the Cullen's were really going to just leave. Their behaviour had made that clear. Sam had sent Jared and Paul to watch the Cullen mansion from a distance to spy on them and see what they were up to. It was hard being a man down, which they effectively were with Jacob incapacitated. Young Quil Ateara had been showing signs that he would be joining the pack soon, and Sam couldn't wait. They needed the extra body to take some of the strain.

Jacob held Bella tightly against him the whole way back to his house. Her arms encircled his neck and she nuzzled the top of his head with her lips as she tried to console him. She could sense his distress. Even though both were ecstatic to be reunited, this hadn't stopped them both worrying. It wasn't just the Cullen's who were a problem, Victoria was still out there somewhere hell bent on revenge. Bella knew that Jacob was feeling guilty too. He had risked his health to try and find her so he could keep her safe, but ultimately he felt he had failed. If the others hadn't been there he would have been in dire straits. Bella longed for some private time with Jacob so she could reassure him that his guilt was unnecessary, but she couldn't imagine when that was ever going to happen. There was too much going on. She glanced at Charlie; he would still need to be dealt with. She wondered how much he remembered before Billy had knocked him out. She wanted to tell him the truth but that wasn't her decision. Billy needed to settle things with the elders first.


As soon as they got to the Black's house Billy left with Sam to go and speak to the elders and update them on the current situation. He left Charlie and his son in the care of Sue and Leah, who had been on tenterhooks waiting for their return. Both women were relieved to see that Bella was safe and well, and that despite aggravating his injuries, Jacob was still in one piece. Sue immediately fussed around Jacob, forcing him to lie down and rest. Bella sat beside him, her hand resting in his as he lay on the camp bed in the front room. Charlie was on the other camp bed that Bella had used before; it was going to take a while until he woke up.

"What happened out there?" Sue asked after she tucked a blanket around Jacob, a totally unnecessary action as his body temperature was even higher than normal while his body tried to heal itself. But doing it made her feel better.

Jacob was too tired to respond so Bella spoke for him. She told Sue and Leah about the confrontation with the Cullen's. She couldn't remember getting out of the hospital as she had been unconscious then. Neither Sam nor Billy had stayed long enough to tell anyone that story. Sue and Leah exchanged a pensive glance as Bella's story unfolded. Like the others they didn't believe the Cullen's were just going to go. That would be too easy.

"How are you feeling, Bella?" Sue asked solicitously when Bella's tale wound down. "You've been through a traumatic time too. You should be resting."

"I'm fine." And she was. Despite all the stress and the worry she did feel remarkably okay. She sensed it was because she was feeding off of Jacob's strength. His confidence imbued hers. He made her feel stronger by his mere presence. She curled her fingers around his and watched him sleep. He had finally succumbed to his exhaustion. He looked younger when he was sleeping, the worry lines which seemed permanently etched on his forehead were smoothed away and he appeared like the old Jacob, the carefree boy before his wolf had forced him to mature faster than normal.

Leah hunkered down beside her and looked at Jacob too. She had a thoughtful expression on her face. Bella forced herself to turn her attention to the she wolf. It was hard tearing her eyes from Jacob but she felt that Leah had something to say. She waited expectantly until the other girl was ready to voice her thoughts. "What's it like?" Leah asked eventually.

"I don't understand." Bella felt Jacob's fingers twitch around hers and she glanced down at him again. He was dreaming, and by the feelings he was projecting onto her it wasn't a happy one. She sighed and stroked his face with her free hand. Her caresses seemed to soothe him and he stopped fidgeting. Her reward was a feeling of calmness washing over her. His bad dream was over.

Leah watched Bella intently. She noticed all the little expressions that crossed Bella's face as she cared for Jacob. She saw the love; the worry and the total adoration that made Bella glow and she couldn't help feeling envious of her. She had a special bond with Jacob that Leah would never have with Sam. He shared that with Emily, even though they were like brother and sister. It still hurt Leah that she couldn't have that too with the man she loved. She knew that Sam loved her; she had no doubt about that. But like Embry, there was always that nagging fear that she wasn't quite good enough.

"What's it like being Jacob's imprint?" Leah continued.

Bella didn't take her eyes off of Jacob. She pondered Leah's question, taking her time to answer. It was such a hard thing to describe. The connection between them was unique to them, and from the little she had learned about the other imprints theirs was on a whole different level. "It's so hard to explain." She murmured. Her fingers continued to caress Jacob's handsome face as he slept. She couldn't stop touching him. "To me Jacob is the sun, the moon and the stars. He is the air I breathe, he's my heart and my soul all intertwined. It's like I'm him and he's me. He gets me. He always has. He makes me feel so alive, like I can do anything. I just can't bear to be apart from him. When I am it's like I want to die. Alone I'm like a rudderless ship but together we can move mountains." Bella blushed when she realised what had just spilled out of her mouth. Leah and Sue were staring at her with contemplative expressions. "Sorry. I read too many romance novels."

"No, don't be sorry." Leah tried to smile but it slipped from her face. Bella's words had just made her feel as if the love she shared with Sam was paltry and worthless. If this was how the imprint made Bella feel then how were Emily and Sam able to withstand its pull. She felt her mother put her hand on her shoulder as if she understood what was going through her mind.

"Bella, I know you think this imprint that you have with Jacob is romantic, but from what you've described it sounds frightening." Sue saw confusion and hurt cross Bella's face.

Leah looked up at her mother in surprise. "Why would you say that?" She asked before Bella had a chance to.

"You say you can't be apart from him. That you feel like you want to die…." Sue repeated Bella's words slowly. "Bella, you can't be with Jake twenty four hours a day. It's healthy to have time apart. Being together constantly would be stifling. Don't get me wrong it's a romantic ideal, but if Harry and I were living in each other's pockets we would have killed each other after a week. You and Jacob are two individuals. All this stuff about soul mates and being as one is sheer nonsense. You do see that, right?"

"No." Bella said faintly. As if he could sense Bella's distress even in his sleep Jacob's fingers twitched and clenched her hand tighter, almost stopping the blood flow.

"It's a bond, Bella. But that's all it is. You mustn't make it into something that it isn't." Sue said firmly. "You said that you love to read romance novels, perhaps you are projecting your ideal onto the imprint bond and you are making it happen the way it is. Sweetheart, you can breathe on your own, you have done for eighteen years. Lovely as Jake is, he isn't the sun, the moon and the stars. You are strong enough to stand on your own two feet. You've let the cold one control you for so long that your ideas of what love is are all mixed up."

Bella swallowed thickly as she glanced down at her hand encased in Jacob's. Sue's accusations hurt. Her heart raced painfully in her chest as she tried to remain calm. Sue couldn't be right, could she? Was she really the reason behind why the imprint bond felt so intense? Jacob could have caused himself some serious damage when he phased and tried to find her when they had been separated. Had she caused all that because of her screwed up idea of what love should be? If that was true that meant she was a danger to Jacob, that if she remained with him she could end up killing him because of her innate selfishness.

"Bella." Leah said cautiously. She could see that her mother's words had upset the other girl. Bella was very distressed. She was trying to pull her fingers out of Jacob's but he wasn't letting go. "Bella, you need to calm down."

"I'm hurting him." Bella whispered in agony. "He could have died because of me. I'm a danger to anyone who cares about me because I'm selfish. I didn't know that's what I was doing. I thought that the feelings we shared were of the same intensity, but it's all from my side. I'm forcing this on him."

Sue suddenly seemed to realise that she had overstepped the mark. She watched Leah put an arm around Bella to try and comfort her. "Sweetheart, I never meant to upset you. Don't take my words out of context. Of course you're not killing him. I was just saying you mustn't suffocate him with the intensity of your romantic notion of love that's all. It's not healthy for either of you."

"Mom, enough." Leah snapped as tears began to roll down Bella's face. "You're making things worse."

"I didn't know that's what I was doing. I just…it felt so real. I thought Jake felt the same way, but it must have been me manipulating the situation." Despair washed over Bella as she gazed down at Jacob in anguish. "I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." She ripped her hand out of his and shrugged off Leah's arm. As soon as she took her hand away Jacob stirred. He sat up abruptly as Bella's unhappiness slammed into him like a punch to the gut. Bella couldn't look at him, the guilt was all consuming. She ran from the room with her hands pressed to her ears so she couldn't hear him calling her name.

A/N-thanks for reading!