Chapter 11: Slippery When Wet
The Year of the Dog
February
The Ocean Kingdom was destroyed, and it was all Simon's fault. He should have known something would go wrong. Just like when he'd offended Bonnibel earlier that day. Just like when Gunter had tried to cheer him up.
And then they'd torn the Ocean Kingdom apart, and now they were leaving without even apologising. They'd had to. Simon still couldn't believe that the girl he'd met was the Ocean Princess, but she was, and he'd made her lose control of her powers. It was still raining here, but they'd left the gales and downpours far behind.
He wished they could have spoken more before he'd ruined everything. She'd seemed to know a lot about emotion magic.
"Did you like her?" said Gunter suddenly, as the shore came into sight.
"Huh?" said Simon. "Betty?" Or someone else he'd forgotten about? There was probably someone else he might have liked who was a girl.
"Yes, that's right, the princess," said Gunter. He looked away. "I... I might have told her father that you were after some kind of relationship. With her."
Simon laughed for a bit too long. "Gunter, I can't get married! I'm an adventurer! Uh... and I'm thirteen!" Sometimes he forgot he still wasn't an adult by human standards.
"Well, technically..." Gunter began. "But no, I never mentioned marriage. Never mentioned marriage. I just wanted to, you know, set the two of you... up. Romatically."
Simon stopped swimming. It didn't do much. The current sweeping them to shore was too strong. "Gunter, why were you trying to set me up with Betty- I mean, the ocean princess? I don't wanna date anyone. I'm done with romance." He thought the song he'd sung in the shower had made that pretty clear. He didn't want to hurt anyone else like he'd hurt Bonnibel by invading her privacy. Bonnibel invaded their privacy sometimes, but that was just for research. It wasn't creepy like he was.
Gunter stopped swimming as well. "Er... Well, I just thought you could use a change. You haven't been very happy lately." He sighed. "Shame it turned out like it did."
"That was my fault," said Simon. He tried to laugh. "I bet she hates me now." Her dad had looked pretty angry, and she'd given him the impression that he was very strict.
It was a shame. She obviously knew a lot about magic, and she was Simon's age. He didn't know many people his age, magic specialists or not. It was a shame.
The swam in silence towards the beach. The mountains beyond it were clearly visible through the rain now, but Simon didn't feel up to climbing them today. They'd just have to go around.
There was a loud, distorted warble from somewhere behind them. Simon jumped and spun around, but all he could see was choppy ocean, stretching to the horizon.
The sound happened again. It seemed to be coming from the water, but that didn't make sense. Water didn't make noises like that. It was just water. It splashed.
Gunter dove down, then came back up and pushed Simon underwater.
Simon forgot for a second that he could still breathe underwater, then said "Gunter, what-" His eyes adjusted to the blueness. "Oh. Uh, hello."
It was Betty, and she didn't look angry at all. "Simon! Gheia sou!" It sounded like a greeting.
Betty was oriented horizontally, and Simon was still vertical. He rotated until he was horizontal as well, just like when he used to go fishing with his family. "I-I'm sorry," he said. "Uh, your royal highness." A lot of princesses didn't mind not being addressed by their style of office, but it was hard to know beforehand.
"What are you sorry about?" said Betty. She grinned. "That was great! My dad was so mad! I never get to use my powers!"
"Yeah," said Simon. He wondered how many books had been destroyed in the vortex. How many books he'd made her destroy.
"I wanna see your lands," Betty continued. "Can you show me?" She spoke more formally. "I invoke the guestright."
Simon turned to Gunter, who'd been watching them silently. "Gunter, did you tell them I had noble blood?" he whispered. Guestright was only for aristocrats. Everyone else didn't get a choice.
"Well, I didn't tell her that," Gunter whispered back. "Besides, you might for all we know."
Simon turned back to Betty. "I don't know what you heard, but I don't have any land."
Betty looked puzzled. "But you are of unique parentage, right? You don't any know other humans?"
"Yeah..." said Simon, who wished she hadn't had to phrase it like that. "I don't know any other humans."
"Does your uniqueness not entitle you to nobility?" said Betty.
"Uh, no," said Simon. He'd never heard that, and he suspected that it was only true in the Ocean Kingdom. "I don't want any land. I'm not a princess. I mean a prince. I'm an adventurer."
Betty stared at him blankly for a second, then said "Okay. Then can you show me the lands you adventure on? I wanna see how they measure up to all my other surface lands. I mean, all the other surface lands I visited."
"Uh, sure..." said Simon. He looked at the shore, then at Betty's tail. "We could take the rivers."
Gunter cleared his throat and said "I'll just leave you two alone, then."
Simon grabbed him by the flipper. "Gunter, no!" he whispered. "You know the rivers better than me! I'll probably lead her into an ambush of... underwater sea millipedes! Please!" Gunter used the rivers as shortcuts sometimes. He wasn't fast on two legs, and swimming was easier and more comfortable than sliding everywhere on his stomach.
"All right, all right," said Gunter. "Follow me."
He turned left. Simon and Betty followed. Simon guessed that he was heading to the northern river mouth, but he had no idea where Gunter was planning to go after that. Simon had never paid much attention to rivers and creeks, except when they were in his way.
"So, those thing," said Betty, pointing at Simon's legs. "Do they really work the way they do on TV?"
"Yeah, I mean, I think they do," said Simon. "I can walk on 'em." It must have been less blindingly obvious to merfolk than land dwellers. What kind of TV did they have in the Ocean Kingdom? Old pre-war recordings, or live television? If it was live television, where was it broadcast from?
"They're not much good for swimming," said Betty. She reached for his leg, thought better of it, and held her palms a small distance apart. "Are all biped legs that skinny?"
Simon couldn't think of an answer for that. His legs were totally normal human legs, as far as he knew. They weren't that skinny.
"Sorry," said Betty. "This is all so weird! You must crawl along the ground like a amphibipod. Or a trilobite!"
That was a weird comparison, even for a mermaid. "Haven't trilobites been extinct for hundreds of millions of years?"
Betty grinned. "You do know about the ocean!"
They turned into the river mouth, and the swimming got a bit harder. The current was beginning to turn against them, and the water was clouded with mud.
Simon rotated onto his back and looked at the surface. He could sort of see the sky above, but not very well. "I can show you how humans walk, if you want." He'd never thought of walking as strange or exotic before, but to a mermaid, it was probably living underwater that was mundane.
"Yeah!" said Betty.
Simon climbed out and got to his feet, taking care not to slip on the frosty ground. He took some hesitant steps, stumbled, and winced. Now Betty was going to think walking was hard. He was just having trouble readjusting to gravity. She should see how Gunter walked after too long in the water.
There was a distorted warble from the river, and he almost slipped. This time it was clearly coming from Betty, who was floating just under the surface. It didn't sound like words, or even her voice. It didn't sound like anyone's voice.
Simon considered diving back into the water, but as cool as it would have looked, the river was a bit too shallow. He jumped in feet first instead.
Betty seemed irritated. "Ugh, why isn't it working?"
"What, talking out of water?" said Simon. He assumed that was what Betty was trying to do, but only because he'd seen her lips move.
"You can't understand me in the air, can you, Simon?" said Betty.
Simon shook his head and swam closer to the centre of the river. "Your voice was going up and down like crazy."
"Darn," said Betty. "I was vibrating the surface. You know, to transfer the sound. It always worked on the tank at home. I had to live in a tank," she added quickly.
Simon misjudged how quickly he was swimming and propelled himself into the mud at the bottom. When he recovered, he said "What?! That's terrible!"
Betty sighed. "Yeah, but my dad says it's for my own good. Because of my problem. He keeps saying that one day I won't need it."
"Problem?" said Simon, who couldn't think of a single problem she could possibly have.
"You saw, Simon!" said Betty impatiently. "My magic! It's too strong. I always wreck things when they let me out!"
Oh, that. "Uh, it wasn't that bad," Simon suggested. He wondered if the river was always this turbulent, and if the sky had been that dim thirty seconds ago. "Maybe you can learn to control it or something."
"I can control it!" said Betty. She took a deep breath and let it out. The sky cleared, and the river calmed. She put on a deep voice. "'It only takes one mistake.' That's what my dad always says. This is the first time I've left the palace in my entire life!"
No wonder she seemed so naive if she'd never been out... Wait, that didn't make any sense. "Hey, you said you've visited land before," said Simon.
Betty laughed and didn't make eye contact. "No I didn't."
Oh no. What if she wasn't who she said she was? What if she just wanted something from him? He wasn't important, but he had a lot of useful skills.
But how could everything be false when she'd been caught in a lie so easily? She didn't seem to know what to do with her eyes, and she hadn't even come up with a consistent story. Maybe this was the only thing that wasn't true.
Sometimes Simon hated that his useful skills included lying.
He said "You definitely did." He didn't want to offend her, but he also didn't like being lied to.
Betty fidgeted. "I just... I thought you wouldn't take me if I didn't look as worldly as you, okay?" She looked away.
"Worldly?" said Simon. He couldn't understand how someone like her was so worried about someone like him. He was just an hero boy, and she was a princess. She outranked him in every way.
Betty laughed nervously and shrugged.
They were definitely going uphill now, and Simon was having more and more trouble swimming against the current. Of course Betty and Gunter seemed to be fine. As a kid, Simon had always felt stupid for struggling so much while his family could swim anywhere they wanted. Penguins had evolved to swim, but knowing that hadn't helped much. He was a human, and at the time he'd thought humans hadn't evolved to do anything in particular. They were just the people who'd been around and doing things before anyone else was intelligent enough to form private investigation agencies and adopt babies from the woods.
"I'm gonna get out and walk," said Simon, when he didn't feel like he could swim much further.
Betty looked at him with confusion. "You're panting," she said. "Are you... tired?"
"Yeah," said Simon, suddenly self-conscious about his breathing. "Time to use these legs again." He climbed out. This time he did collapse when he reached the shore. But once he'd adjusted, walking up the mountain slope was much easier than swimming upriver.
Humans weren't completely unspecialised, he'd learned later. They were great at walking long distances, and not just in comparison to penguins. Fortunately for his brothers, after a couple of weeks he'd stopped bringing it up at every opportunity.
The mountain was nice now that Simon was out of the water. There was a bit of snow on the ground, but it wasn't deep. Pine trees grew almost up to the banks, and there was almost no wind.
The slope got easier, and the river emerged from the trees into a lake, with a waterfall at the opposite end, and a breathtaking view spread out to the east. They could see most of northern Uuu from up here. There were traces of ice and snow everywhere at this time of year, except for the desert on the horizon. The desert was hot even in midwinter.
Simon glanced at the lake and started walking again, but Gunter gestured him in.
"Gunter, this is where you were taking us?" said Simon, when he got back under the water.
"It's nice," said Betty. "It's really, uh, green." She turned onto her back and pointed towards the waterfall. "What's that over there? I feel a weird current."
"That's a waterfall," said Simon. "A waterfall is-"
"So that's what they feel like," Betty interrupted. She swam over to it and put her hand out.
"So, why don't you try looking above the surface?" said Gunter. He hadn't spoken for a while, Simon realised. It was strange. Usually he talked all the time, whether anyone was listening or not.
Betty looked up at the surface and frowned. "But it's full of air."
"Well, Simon and me can't normally breathe water, and it never stopped us," Gunter responded.
Simon nodded. She really hadn't been above the surface before.
Betty inhaled deeply and poked her head out of the water, then spluttered and slipped back in. "It's so bright!" She swam back above the surface.
Simon followed her. She was staring at the view with her cheeks puffed out. She turned to look at him, and tried to speak. Instead, water dribbled out of her mouth and made her gurgle. Annoyed, she went back under.
"What a view!" she said.
"Yeah, it's amazing!" said Simon. Especially for someone who'd never seen Uuu from above before. "Gunter, how did you find this place?"
Gunter shrugged, so Simon didn't press him further.
Betty took another breath, and pulled Simon up with her. She pointed at the desert and looked at him questioningly.
"That's the Desert of Doom," said Simon. "It was an ocean back before the Great Mushroom War." Once, they'd found a boat buried completely under the sand. The skeletons had been so well-preserved that he'd been afraid they were about to come to life and attack them. But they were just normal, human skeletons from the distant past.
Betty went under, came up again, and pointed at the icy area to the east. Unlike the rest of the view, it was a huge expanse of white, with no signs of water or vegetation.
"That's the Ice Kingdom," said Simon. "The guy who lives there is crazy, but... It's not exactly his fault." It was still very difficult to think of Finn-Ice as someone who'd once been a human boy like him, even after watching his videos, but he was trying to be more understanding.
He pointed at the tree fort, which was a slightly darker green speck in the white-green of the Grasslands, and said "That's where I live."
Betty nodded, sunk underwater, and beckoned Simon down. "Let's go there next!" She looked around. "I mean... If that's okay with you."
"Uh..." said Simon. He wanted to, but... "We don't live that close to a river." He rubbed his chin. "And even if we did, you couldn't really go inside..."
Betty looked in the direction of the view. "Then how do you get there?" Simon was about to answer, but she continued. "You just... walk?"
"Yeah," said Simon. "Sorry, Betty." He did want to show her his book collection, although he doubted it was anywhere near as exotic to her as the Ocean Kingdom's collection was to him.
"I think I can ma-" Betty began.
A sudden current hit Simon in the gut, knocking him towards the waterfall. A sharkman shot up to him. "Found you!"
"Me?" said Simon. He recognised the sharkmen that had been guarding the Ocean Palace, but what were they doing here? Could all this be a setup to lure him... someplace? No, that was stupid.
Before he could right himself, another sharkman slammed him against the bottom of the lake. "What did you do with the princess?"
Simon was trying to get his breath back to explain when Betty swam up behind the sharkmen and knocked them away with her magic. "Simon! Come on!"
The water on their side of the lake spilled over the shore and rushed downhill in a rough globule.
"Betty!" said Simon, trying to stay steady. "What's going on? Where's Gunter?"
Gunter swam out of Betty's hair, at about the size of a bean. He waved, and darted into Simon's hair.
Simon looked back at the rapidly retreating mountainside. "Are they following us?" He couldn't see much outside the water foaming around them.
"Nope!" said Betty, without looking. "Hold on!"
"To what?" said Simon. The ground was flying by dangerously quickly, and he tried to stay at the top of the globule, but the current kept pulling him down
Finally, they splashed into a river in the western Grasslands, and Betty let the globule dissolve.
Simon stared back the way they'd come. It looked like the area had been hit by a very narrow, localised rainstorm. "Why were those guys so mad?"
"Uh..." said Betty. She looked back as well, and laughed nervously. "I kinda didn't tell anyone I was leaving."
"What?!" said Simon.
Gunter propped himself on Simon's head, still tiny. He felt like he was lying on his stomach. Probably looking at Betty indignantly.
"I think they think you guys kidnapped me," said Betty. She laughed again, then scowled. "I used to wish someone would kidnap me."
"We gotta explain it to-" Simon began, then stopped. "You used to wish someone would kidnap you?"
"Yeah, when I was five," said Betty. "I get it now. If you want something exciting to happen, you gotta do it yourself. Listen... Simon. I... I'm not ready to go home yet. Dad can't just roll out the army and expect me to come back!"
Simon felt bad for her, but... "What else can we do?"
"I really think you should talk to them, Betty," said Gunter uncertainly. "Clear up the misunderstanding."
"We're sitting ducks here..." Betty murmured. "Oh, I know! Where did you say your house was, Simon?"
Simon pointed east. He knew where he was. The Grasslands were practically his backyard.
"Let's go!" said Betty. She raised her arms, and a wave lifted them up in the direction Simon had pointed. The tree fort zoomed towards them, but they weren't going downhill this time, and they seemed to be losing a lot of water. A few feet from the fort, the water pressure failed completely and dropped them on the grass.
Betty's eyes darted from side to side as she realised she was stranded out of the water. She spotted their pond and tried to pull herself towards it with her arms. Simon and Gunter grabbed her and dragged her the rest of the way.
Betty fell head-first into the pond, dove down, and laughed in exultation. "No rivers!" Her face seemed a bit pinker than usual.
"What were you gonna do if we didn't have a pond?" said Simon. It hadn't been visible from the mountain lake.
Betty turned upside down and picked bits of grass off her tail. "No pond?" She laughed again. "You land dwellers are weird."
Simon scanned the horizon. The trail of water leading to the pond was already fading, and he couldn't see any sign of the sharkmen yet. "What do we do now?"
"Maybe..." said Betty. She swam around the pond and held her hand above the surface. "Maybe I could live here! And if my dad tries to stop us, we'll, uh... we can... keep him away! With a giant robot!"
Gunter made a coughing noise that Simon couldn't interpret.
"Hmm... this pond is a little small," said Simon. He wondered whether she'd even be happy living away from the ocean, but she hadn't complained yet. "And what about your dad? What if he declares war on the whole Grasslands?" Gunter had apparently told the Ocean King that Simon was noble, so it was possible. He didn't want to be responsible for a war, especially when everything was just a misunderstanding.
"It's bigger than my tank," said Betty. She sank to the bottom and trailed her fingers in the mud. "I just wish we c-"
The mud moved upwards, and something boxy climbed out. "Papi! Your girlfriend found me after fifteen months, four days, nine hours, and twelve minutes! I am the ultimate hide and seek champion!"
Simon was too stunned to even address the girlfriend comment. He'd been wondering why he hadn't seen Necdr around lately. He thought he'd just wanted some time alone to figure out who he was and and what he wanted to do with his life and everything.
"Hello, Necdr," said Gunter.
"Hi... Necdr," said Betty uncertainly.
"There is no need to be shy, Papi's girlfriend!" said Necdr. He extended his claw hand. "I am pleased to meet you!"
Betty swam close to him. "Is that thing your robot son or something?" she whispered.
"Don't call him a thing," Simon whispered. "And, uh... yeah. It's kinda a long story..."
Gunter dove down from the surface. "Er... They're here. The army."
Simon exploded out of the water to see several giant bubbles of water on a hill a mile away. The Marauders were camped there, and he couldn't make out exactly what was going on, but it looked violent. Of course the Marauders could take care of themselves, but nobody should be hurting anyone, because it was all a huge misunderstanding.
He went back under. "I'm gonna turn myself in," he told Betty.
"No!" Betty yelled. She grabbed his vest. "The mersharks don't take prisoners. You'll be killed!"
That seemed like a bad way to run a police force, or whatever they were, but Simon didn't say so.
Betty put her head in her hands. "Maybe we can't be together," she said.
"Together?" said Simon. He didn't mind when Gunter tried to set them up, or Necdr got the wrong impression, but was she actually interested in him? Was he actually interested in her? He probably was, because he really, really wanted her to be interested in him.
"We're like the ocean and the sky," Betty continued.
"Sky?" said Simon.
"You breathe air, and I breathe water," said Betty. "Just like the ocean can never meet the sky, uh... we can never date."
Simon frowned. "But I can't fly." He got what Betty was trying to say, but he didn't understand why she'd chosen that metaphor. "And besides, the sky starts where the ocean ends. The sky and ocean suck face like 24/7!"
Betty thought about that. "I guess that's true..." she said. "Maybe we just gotta look at it differently."
"Papi, the soldiers are getting closer," said Necdr. "Shall we work together to build a robotic exoskeleton as your girlfriend suggested?"
"You can do that?" said Simon, who was willing to try anything at this point.
Necdr spun in a circle on the bottom of the pond, kicking up clouds of mud. "Of course, Papi! I'll do anything to make you happy!"
"Betty!" Simon said. "I think I can turn myself in after all!"
"Simon, I was just spitballing about the giant robot," said Betty. "Do you really think...?
"If they can't hurt me, I'll have a chance to explain!" said Simon. "And they'll stop attacking the Grasslands, and you won't have to go back home!"
Necdr grabbed Simon with his pincer. "Come, Papi! Take us to the garbage dump!"
"See you in a bit, Betty," said Simon. He swam upwards with Necdr.
Betty wrinkled her forehead and waved.
Simon had never tried building a robot completely from scratch, and he was half expecting to fail, but Necdr was surprisingly good at robotics now. He'd even managed to build himself into the exoskeleton for added security. Simon's head went inside Necdr's microwave, and he felt awkward about it, but Necdr seemed to be enjoying himself.
"Look, Papi!" he said. "We are as one!"
"Yeah," said Simon. Controlling the robot was as simple as moving normally. They'd installed some neural mappers that Simon had picked up years ago a few miles below the surface of the Earth. All they needed was a bit of polish, and they were fine.
He wanted to go back into the pond and check on Betty, but this suit actively repelled water. He'd probably dry it up completely and kill her or something.
He knelt by the pond, and Betty came up from underneath. She had a lilypad on her head. She gurgled in surprise, then gave a thumbs up. Simon made the robot give her a thumbs up back.
He raised his eyes to the surrounding lands. The bubbles had stopped bothering the Marauders, but now they seemed to be spread out and searching for something. Probably him. He ran towards the closest one.
He felt like he could sprint all day in this suit and never get tired. Necdr had done a great job. If it wasn't so bulky and clumsy, he would have wanted to use it for all his adventures.
Simon slid to a stop in front of the water bubble, which was bigger than he'd thought. It was taller than the robot, and it held three sharkmen. "Hey!" he said.
"It's him!" said one of the sharkmen. Simon could hear him clearly, even through the surface of the water. "The kidnapping viscount!"
Viscount? "Listen, I didn't-" Simon began.
The bubble split into three as the sharkmen surrounded him. One rushed at him, unhinged his jaw, revealing rows of sharp teeth, and bit the robot's arm. Simon only felt a slight jarring sensation, but the sharkman fell back and clutched his face.
Necdr laughed. "You cannot hurt my Papi!"
"That's right!" said Simon. "This suit is-"
His arm moved on its own, coming down on the bubble of the sharkman who'd tried to bite him and demolishing it.
For a second, Simon didn't understand what had happened. "Necdr!" he said, as he realised. "What are you doing?" He couldn't override whatever Necdr decided to do, but Necdr seemed to be able to override him.
The sharkman crawled into another sharkman's bubble. It looked crowded in there with the two of them.
"I am defending you, Papi!" said Necdr. "Is this not what you wanted?"
"I didn't want you to fight!" said Simon. He should have told Necdr the plan back at the tree fort instead of assuming he knew what was going on. He'd been sitting at the bottom of a pond for more than a year. And he'd immediately assumed that Betty was Simon's girlfriend. Who assumed stuff like that? Maybe they could be, but... they weren't.
Against his will, he backhanded the bubble with the two sharkmen, launching them far away, and tried to smash the last sharkman's bubble.
The sharkman dodged, then grabbed his hand and pulled. The sharkman was hovering in the water bubble, so Simon didn't know what he was bracing himself on, but he was strong enough to drag the robot slightly across the grass.
"These mersharks want to hurt you and your girlfriend, Papi," said Necdr. "I will not let that happen." He raised the arm the sharkman was holding, and tossed him in the direction of the other two. "Goodbye."
"Necdr, I just want to-" Simon began.
A torrent of water poured from above, and formed into a mass of water containing the king of the ocean. He was less muscular than the sharkmen, but Simon didn't want to underestimate him. He was Betty's father, and Betty had torn open a building without even meaning to.
"...Talk to them," Simon finished. He addressed the Ocean King. "Listen! I didn't kidnap the princess!"
"My daughter has never left the castle in thirteen years!" said the Ocean King. "And then you arrived and stole her away!" He drew his hand back, and threw it forward. Water in the shape of a hand lunged at Simon's exoskeleton's throat, and disintegrated when it touched it.
"She wanted to see the land!" said Simon. He wished Betty was there to explain it. He was sure the Ocean King would listen to his own daughter. "She said she's tired of living in a tank!"
"Three," said Necdr.
"My daughter is perfectly content where she is!" said the Ocean King. He circled Simon slowly. "She doesn't need you and your unnecessary excitement in her life! I should never have listened to Gunter!"
"Two," said Necdr.
Simon wanted to keep trying to explain to the Ocean King, but it sounded like he still had to explain to Necdr. "Necdr, what are you counting down to?" Necdr had built so much of the robot himself that Simon didn't know all its capabilities. "I told you..."
"One," said Necdr.
Simon raised his arm involuntarily. He could feel something powering up inside the suit, and he couldn't stop it. After a moment of panic, he punched himself in the stomach with his free hand until there was a hole through it.
The something powered back down.
"Oops, I think our robotic exoskeleton is malfunctioning, Papi," said Necdr. "Let me fix that for you."
The suit powered up again, faster. Simon used his free arm to push his other arm down just as it shot out some sort of beam.
The beam hit the grass and crumbled it to dust. Simon knelt down and picked some of it up. It was strangely dry, even for dust. It reminded him of... Had Necdr somehow managed to install Bonnie's dehydrator ray from that morning in the robot? Simon was sure she'd taken it home with her.
Before he could figure it out, the suit began to spark, and Simon quickly ripped open the stomach hole and climbed out. None of this was helping. All he wanted was to stop hurting people.
"Aha!" said the Ocean King. He rolled his water bubble at Simon. Simon dodged, but the Ocean King was more agile in the bubble than he'd thought, and easily caught up to him. The bubble pushed him down until he was face down on the grass. He tried to move, but it was too heavy. He tried to breathe, but his water breathing potion had worn off some time ago. He couldn't move.
Simon struggled for what felt like a eternity. He needed to take a breath. His vision was getting dim around the edges, but the surface of the water was just a few inches in front of his face. He had to get to it. He had to breathe.
The weight lifted off him. Simon rolled onto his back and gasped for air until he felt slightly less like a piece of seaweed, then climbed to his feet to see the Ocean King's bubble being drawn slowly towards the tree fort. Betty was at the surface of the pond, making a pulling motion with her hands.
"Betty?" said Simon. He glanced at Necdr, who was struggling to detach himself from the sparking exoskeleton.
"Papi!" said Necdr. "You didn't drown after all!" He popped off the top of the robot and laughed in delight.
He was really going to have to explain things to Necdr later. It was Simon's own fault he'd got the wrong idea.
Simon ran towards the pond as Betty pulled her father's bubble into it. The bubble retained its shape even inside the pond, making it look like the pond was bulging out from its banks.
Simon stood awkwardly next to the pond. On the other side, Betty and her father were facing each other. Simon couldn't see the Ocean King's face, but Betty's eyes were narrowed to slits.
"Betty!" said the Ocean King. "Do you want to spend the rest of your life as a captive of this... human?"
"You can't drown him, dad!" said Betty. Simon could hear her clearly, and he wondered why. "I love him!"
They hadn't talked about love. Simon didn't even know what love was.
The Ocean King put his hand on his forehead and groaned. "You don't even know what love is. You're thirteen years old, Betty, and this human is putting ridiculous ideas in your head. When we get home, I'm taking away the good behaviour calendar. You're obviously not ready for it."
Betty opened her mouth angrily, then met Simon's eyes. He didn't know what she saw in them, but she composed herself, and said "How am I supposed to find out what love is if you never let me talk to any cute boys? I'm tired of being locked up, dad."
She thought Simon was cute? Did she think all the boys she met were cute? How many boys had she met? Did she also think girls were cute? Did her dad let her talk to cute girls? Simon didn't know if he thought girls were cute, but he thought Betty was cute. He could talk to whoever he wanted, and he still didn't really know what love was.
The Ocean King gestured at the Grasslands, which was covered in puddles and rivulets. It looked like it had been raining non-stop for a week. "You see what happens when you dart around unsupervised?"
"That was all you, dad!" Betty yelled. Clouds formed around the tree fort, then cleared as she calmed herself down. "I didn't do anything until you chased me. I can control my powers! That time in the library- You never let me use my powers, so I didn't know. Let me st- I mean, I'm not going home, dad. I'm staying here."
She looked at Simon again. Simon nodded his agreement. The more he heard about her home life, the more he was convinced that she needed to get out of hit.
"With him?" said the Ocean King. He looked around at Simon and narrowed his eyes. "How do I know he's not forcing you into this cohabitation? Did you see what he did to my mersharks?"
"He's not a bad guy," said Betty. "Why won't you believe that? It's me you're mad at! If I can't live with Simon, then... I'll live somewhere else! Somewhere away from the Ocean Kingdom! I can do it, dad! You know I can handle myself"
"You're thirteen," repeated the Ocean King. "You have a condition, and I obviously can't leave you alone for a second."
"Simon's been living on his own since he was-" Betty glanced at Simon.
"Twelve," said Simon. He wasn't living on his own. He had Gunter. Gunter had been much older than twelve in penguin years when their parents had died.
Gunter wasn't very responsible, though. Living away from your parents wasn't that hard in this day and age, once you were old enough to find your own food.
"I'll be fine, dad," said Betty. "If I flip out and destroy the land of Uuu, you were right and I'll come home and I'll stay in the tank forever! Just give me that chance."
The Ocean King looked between Betty and Simon for a while. "All right. But if I find out you're living with the human..."
Betty grinned. "Thanks, dad! I won't destroy anything else, I promise!"
"We'll see," said the Ocean King. He withdrew from the pond and rolled away. As he passed Simon, he muttered "I give her a week."
Betty spoke angrily when he was gone, but it came out distorted. Simon took a deep breath and stuck his head in the pond.
"I can't believe him!" said Betty again. "He still doesn't trust me!"
Simon gestured for her to come out of the pond so that he could reply. He wondered if they'd have to do this all the time. Water breathing potions were expensive. Then he wondered if there'd be an all the time.
"Where are you going to live?" he asked, and dunked his head underwater again.
"In the ocean, I guess," said Betty. "This pond water tastes... weird. It tastes like land plants and mud." She spat some of it out. Simon moved to the other side of the pond.
"Uh... do you need help getting there?" said Simon. He didn't want her to drain the pond and kill all the fish, and he doubted there was enough water in there to get her to the river anyway. "Should I call your dad?"
"No!" said Betty, almost before Simon dipped his head back under the water. "I'll figure something out."
"Maybe Gunter can carry you," Simon suggested, after a few moments' thought. Gunter had been really helpful all day. A lot more than Simon deserved after his behaviour that morning.
"Gunter?" said Betty. "Your tiny penguin?" She held her hands out to Gunter's normal height.
"He's my brother," said Simon. He didn't know what it was about human-talking animal relations that always made people assume the animal belonged to the human in some way. "And it's okay, he's magic. You saw."
They only had one pot big enough to fit Betty, and it was the pot they used for roasting giant gelatinous cubes. Luckily, it was clean. Betty had to curl up, and it looked uncomfortable, but it was the best they had. When they got there, Gunter tipped Betty into the river, Betty beckoned Simon in.
"Uh..." said Simon, as Betty watched him silently. "Are we dating now?" He couldn't think of a better way to ask. He wished he could.
Betty sank below the surface. "When I first saw you, I thought you were cool." She hugged him and added "But I figured you out. You're a dork."
She swam away without another word. Simon surfaced and breathed hard.
Gunter had already shrunk down to his normal size. "So, what did she say?"
"She called me a dork," said Simon.
Gunter winced. "Oooh. And you were getting along so well, too."
Simon stared downstream. "I think it was a compliment."
