a/n Welcome back kids! Sorry for the long wait, but wow, we're almost at the end. Just one more chappy of this fic T-T. I've really enjoyed the ride, and I hope you have too! Thanks so much for all your reviews and PM's; they mean the world to me:)

Without further ado...


"I don't want to die," she repeats, louder this time; there is a gust of wind, which whips her hair and her loose fitting cloak.

"I won't let you die," a voice calls behind her, and for a moment, Temari is convinced that it is her okaasan's voice coming from beyond the grave. But when she turns around to investigate the shadows from whence the sound came, it is definitely not her mother.

"Shikamaru," Temari croaks. "How much of that…did you hear?"


Chapter Eleven: Confessions

"I'm sorry," Shikamaru babbles, "I didn't mean—"

"When did you get here?" Temari snaps impatiently. She instantly regrets her tone when Shikamaru's face falls; he stuffs his hands in his pockets and stares at the ground.

"Just now," Shikamaru replies at last. "Temari, look, I'm really sorry—I'm an ass and this is all my fault…" When he looks up at Temari, she is staring at him like he's grown a second head.

"Shikamaru," she mutters at last, "just…" She sighs and turns back towards the grave. "Hey mom. This is my friend, Shikamaru. Yeah, despite the fact that he's an idiot, he's actually pretty smart; yeah, I know, hard to believe. Well, it was nice seeing you, mom. I'll try to visit again before…yeah. See you."

Shikamaru winces at the words left unsaid, because surely Temari was going to say, "Ill try to visit again before I die." He knows that its true; he has heard her say it twice, that she didn't want to die, oh Kami, oh Kami

Temari hauls herself to her feet; by the time she's risen, Shikamaru curses himself that he didn't help her up in the first place. His good friend is dying of Zombie Plague that he has given her and he doesn't even help her up what the hell is wrong with him—

"Shikamaru," Temari mutters, taking his arm in hers. "Stop thinking so hard. Come on, let's go for a walk. What were you doing out here, anyway?"

"Praying by Lady Chiyo's grave," he mumbles.

"Lady Chiyo? Why?" Temari asks, dragging him along the graveyard path.

Shikamaru is fairly certain that he's turning various shades of puce. Finally, he manages, "I was praying for your recovery."

"My recovery?" Temari asks, a bit incredulous. "That's—"

"I know it's hard to believe but I really do care and I'm really sorry I gave you Zombie Plague and—oh Kami, I'm babbling again," Shikamaru mutters, hoping that Temari cannot see his blush in the moonlight.

Temari stops walking and eyes him askance. "I was going to say that that was sweet of you," she replies dryly. "Can you stop speaking nonsense for a minute? I have to tell you something important."

"But—"

"Not here. I don't want to tell you in front of a graveyard; I'll feel like all the dead people are listening. Creepy," she grumbles, then proceeds to drag him further down the well-worn path.

Shikamaru knows what's coming: Temari is going to tell him that she's dying. Oh Kami, he knew it was bad, but he'd thought from Ino's medical notes that Temari was going to be okay in the end—just a brush with death, but really, what ninja hadn't had those? He had thought that Temari was going to pull through. He was wrong.

The moon casts everything in a silver pallor, and he fancies that it makes Temari's face even more sallow than it already is; at the same time, it's as if she has an inner glow. He's heard of fever victims who have suffered the same fate, burned up from the inside by vicious, incurable diseases. Plague.

He can't speak, he is too upset, and he doesn't notice where they are going until Temari stops walking. He blinks at the surroundings, a manicured rock garden enclosed by a high wall; before he can say a word, Temari shoves him onto a stone bench, while she remains standing.

"Shikamaru, I have something important to tell you—"

"I know," he rasps.

"You know?" Temari echoes. She sounds disappointed. "But…you're not happy?"

"Of course I'm not happy!" he shouts, rising from the bench with outstretched arms. "It's all my fault!"

Temari seems to wilt at that, and slowly sets herself down on the bench; now she is the one sitting while Shikamaru is standing. She looks down at the ground and stretches her arms over her stomach, as if protecting herself.

"Well, I know it's your fault," Temari whispers at last, "but I thought that you might be happy about it, at least…"

She looks like she's about to cry—Temari! Crying! It should be illegal, an oxymoron, dear gods! And it's his fault, his fault, oh Kami!

"Temari," Shikamaru replies incredulously, "how could I possibly be happy about this? How could you think—"

"You know what, you raging asshole!" Temari shouts, bitter tears trailing down her face. She leaps up from the bench and enunciates her points by jabbing him in the chest with her finger: "I rue the day your mother slept with your father! Son of a thousand diseased whores! May you be hit by sixty-thousand shoes and burn in as many hells! May your testicles shrivel like fruit drying in the sun! The gods forbid I think you should be happy about—"

"Temari!" Shikamaru cries, gripping her by the shoulders, "How could I be happy about the fact that you're dying!"

Temari opens her mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. She is looking at him like he's sprouted eagle wings and is about to fly away.

Temari chooses her words with care. "Shikamaru…what…exactly…do you think is going on here?"

"Obviously, you're dying of Zombie Plague. A Plague that I gave you. Temari, I can't even begin to tell you how unbelievably—"

"By the gods above and below! By the horns of the Death God! By the tits of the bleeding Sun Goddess! You, the proclaimed genius of Konoha—"

"Temari, please, I feel bad enough. I swear to the Spirits, I won't let you die, I'll learn Lady Chiyo's final jutsu and steal you back from the Death God—"

But Shikamaru cannot complete his sentence, because Temari is laughing, great guffaws and howls. She falls onto his shoulder and shakes with roaring laughter until tears stream down her face.

For a long time, Shikamaru simply stares at Temari, feeling bewildered and perturbed. At last, he mutters, "Temari, I don't see what is so funny—"

"You stupid, stupid, genius," Temari cries. "I'm not dying—I'm pregnant! With your child! The gods forfend that it will be as dumb as you are!" Temari wipes the tears out of her eyes and smiles.

Shikamaru does not move, and his face is completely blank; he does not even blink. After a long pause, he mumbles, "You're not dying?"

"Nope."

"There's…no such thing as Zombie Plague," he states, slowly, as if the words are hard to fit in his mouth.

Temari heaves a huge sigh and takes Shikamaru's hand in hers, then places it over her belly. "This—this baby. His code name…is Zombie Plague."

"You're pregnant. With my child," he whispers.

"King of fools! I haven't slept with anyone else!" Temari snaps impatiently.

Shikamaru collapses, and if it wasn't for Temari, he would have fallen on the ground. She shoves him onto the bench and sits next to him. "Well? Are you happy?" she demands.

"I don't know what to think," he breathes. "One minute, I think you're a plague victim, and the next, I learn you're just fine—and that I'm going to be a father." He presses the tips of his fingers together in a familiar gesture of contemplation, then meets her gaze. "You named our child Zombie Plague?"

"Um…possibly. Yes. Yes I did. But it doesn't—"

"You're pregnant," he interrupts, placing his hand over her abdomen once more.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, oh Genius-of-the-Leaf," she intones.

"Right. Do you…? Are you…?" Shikamaru's head feels like it's full of stuffing, and he's having trouble getting the words out. Thankfully, Temari takes over.

"Look, Shikamaru, I didn't find out until after I left Konoha—after we broke up."

Shikamaru can't suppress the bitterness in his voice as he retorts, "You said we weren't dating—that there was no need to break up."

"A fool asks more questions in an hour than a wise man asks in a year! Let me explain," she snaps.

"In Suna, it is an insult to court a woman without her parents' express permission. When you assumed I was your girlfriend—that I was just going to plop down in Konoha and be your sex kitten—with absolutely no process, without asking me or my kin—it was a grave insult, to both myself and my family."

"That's why you were upset…" Shikamaru muses, his eyes wide.

"Well, then I found out I was pregnant; I wanted to hack you into tiny pieces to feed to the desert dogs. I was pretty upset about that, too."

Shikamaru gulps. "I see…"

"Listen up, genius," Temari says, crossing her arms over her chest, "Just 'cause I'm pregnant with your kid doesn't mean we're automatically anything. It was wrong of me to withhold the information and go on about the Zombie Plague. I'm sorry you thought I was dying. But I'm not moving to Konoha and I'm not stopping my life just because you got me knocked up. You got that?"

"Is it okay if I move to Suna?" Shikamaru utters, his voice quiet but determined.

Temari blinks at him stupidly. "Suna? You hate Suna almost as much as I hate Konoha. Why—"

"Because I love you. You're insane, and shrewish, and I love you," Shikamaru counters, taking her hand in his. "Let me stay, Temari."

"Tch. This is exactly what I was afraid of," she mutters, shaking her head. "Why should I change—why should you change—just because of some wrinkly alien thing gestating in my guts? You have your life, I have my life, and that's—"

"I would ask you to marry me, but I have no idea how to do that without pissing you off. Temari, you headstrong, stubborn woman, please listen to me," Shikamaru growls. "I. Love. You. I love you. If I have to behead another thousand zombies and save your ass from another undead army, I will; if I have to crawl on my hands and knees for your brothers' permission to court you, or whatever the fuck they do in this desert—"

"Who goes before me and asks to court my sister?" comes a rasping voice. Shikamaru and Temari both turn around with a start.

"Gaara, how fucking long have you been standing there listening to the most embarrassing and personal moment of my life, you bastard?" Temari shouts.

But her brother blithely ignores her and walks through the walled entryway of the rock garden until he is standing in front of them. "I'll repeat myself if you didn't hear me the first time, Nara Shikamaru: who comes before me and asks to court my sister?"

"Gaara," Temari growls, "I swear to the gods—"

"I, Nara Shikamaru, come before you, Gaara of the desert, to court your honored sister," Shikamaru blurts out before Temari can finish her sentence.

"Of all the crazy…" she grumbles; she doesn't have time to grumble for long, for another figure emerges from the shadows.

"But you are not a son of Suna; how is it that we can trust you with our sister's honor?" Kankuro states, his grave tone in direct contrast to the shit-eating grin splitting his face. He goes to stand next to Gaara, practically dancing all the way.

"If I ever dishonor your sister, may you throw me to the dogs; may you slit my throat and pour out my blood as a libation to the desert," Shikamaru intones. He has no idea what the proper thing to say is, but he thinks that what he's cooked up on the spot is pretty good.

"Geez Shika, you don't have to go that far—" Temari mumbles, but again, she is cut off by Gaara.

"And what are your intentions towards my sister?" he thunders.

"I intend to wed her, if she will have me; and if not, let me serve as her shield-mate, so that I can protect her; and if not that, then let me be a servant of your house, so that I may serve her," Shikamaru states, his voice gruff.

Temari lays a hand on his shoulder and whispers, "Shikamaru, you don't know what you're signing up for—"

"I know exactly what I'm signing up for," is his susurrant reply. "Now please shut up and let me do this."

"Do you intend, then, to become a son of Suna, in order to court my sister?" This time, it is Kankuro asking the question; his voice is serious, but something about his facial expression reminds Shikamaru of a goofy, long-eared dog.

Nevertheless, Shikamaru is perfectly serious as he replies, "If Suna will have me, I will pledge my allegiance, if I may court your sister."

"And if you enter as the lowest member of our society? As nothing more than a blacksmith, or the man who cleans the alleyways?" Gaara booms.

Temari mutters, "Shikamaru, the guy who cleans the alleyways literally sweeps up other people's shit—"

"If it meant that I could court your sister," Shikamaru replies evenly, "I would happily clean even the alleyways."

"What say you then, sister? Will you accept this suitor to ask for your hand?" Kankuro asks, dancing from foot to foot.

Temari slaps herself in the face. "I…will accept his hand," she mutters.

"For courtship, or for marriage?" comes Gaara's gruff voice.

"I…er…Shikamaru, you really want to marry me?" Temari blurts out incredulously. "No—I'm sure you don't. I'm sure it's just because I'm pregnant—"

"The baby is a good excuse," he murmurs, taking her hands in his. "Please? I really mean it. If you'll have me, I'll marry you. You won't have to step foot in Konoha, or take my family name, or any of it. It's all entirely up to you."

"Shikamaru, that's not fair to you—"

"It's what I want. Now tell your brothers yes, or no, before I die of a heart attack."

"You…you're really sure you want to do this?" Temari asks weakly.

"For the love of the Spirits, Temari, less than an hour ago I was willing to die to save your life from plague! Yes I want to marry you, yes, yes, yes!"

"What say you, sister?" Gaara rasps, and is it Shikamaru's imagination, or is the Kazekage smiling?

"Yes, I will accept his bid for marriage," Temari whispers.

Kankuro, smiling much too broadly for Shikamaru's taste, states, "Will you take him as part of your harem, as a consort, or as—"

"For the love of the gods, little brother! Stop torturing Shikamaru! I will take him as my full partner," Temari snaps.

"Use the formal language, neechan," Gaara urges. "After all, that's what you wanted in the first place."

"For the love of—oh, fine," Temari huffs. "But if you really wanted it to be formal, you'd have father's—"

"I have the ring right here, Temari-chan," Kankuro calls, handing her something that glints silver in the moonlight. Temari seems to tremble with the weight of whatever it is Kankuro has pressed into her palm.

She turns to Shikamaru and takes his hand in hers; he dimly realizes that her palms are clammy. "Nevermore stand before me or my brothers in supplication," Temari intones, tears glimmering in her eyes, "for you have proven yourself worth my trust many times over. From this moment on, we are equals in all things." She fumbles for a moment before slipping a heavy signet ring on his finger.

"Now swear your loyalty to Suna," Gaara intones.

"Gaara! You can't do that without his Hokage's permission!" Temari shouts. "And there's no precedent for—"

"No precedent? Blow it out your arse!" Naruto says as he waltzes through the arched entryway, Sakura following close behind him.

Sakura smacks herself in the face. "You are oh-so-elegant, Hokage-elect-sama. But the idiot's right, Temari-chan; you wouldn't be the first to marry a shinobi from a different country."

"How many random ninja are lurking around the rock garden listening to all this!" Temari shrieks.

She is ignored.

"Gaara of the desert," Naruto declares, though his voice holds more bluster than gravitas, "would this joining fulfill the clause in our treaty regarding a marriage of state between our countries?"

"Yes," is Gaara's gravelly reply, "and I would welcome another, though not mandated by treaty." At this, he looks directly at Sakura, who flushes the pink color of her hair.

However, Naruto cuts in before Sakura can say anything: "Very well, then I approve of Shikamaru's oath of fealty to Suna; as Hokage-elect and Tsunade-sama's representative," he says, gesturing towards himself and a flustered Sakura, "we approve."

"But I—do I need to swear to Konoha?" Temari squeaks.

"Nah, you can do that later, if you want," Naruto replies with a shrug. "Ain't no thang."

"You Konoha nin are crazy," Temari whispers. Her head whips around to Shikamaru, who is already kneeling in front of Gaara.

"I have no idea what the formal words are for this; I've been making everything up as I go along," Shikamaru states. "In any event, I swear my loyalty to Suna as if it were my own mother country. If a war breaks out between both Konoha and Suna, I will not fight; if war comes to Suna and not Konoha, I will fight for Suna. I will protect your lands and your people with my dying breath, if need be. Is that…?" His eyes search Gaara's face for his approval.

"Sounds pretty good," Gaara replies. "No more kneeling; you are now my brother. And I'm really, really sorry about the Zombie Plague subterfuge…" Shikamaru has never seen the Kazekage look sheepish until now. He rises on unsteady feet and Gaara clasps him on the shoulder.

"You know," Kankuro says, putting his hand on Shikamaru's other shoulder, "I always wanted another brother. Welcome to the family—or as I like to call it, the loony bin."

"Thanks, I think," is Shikamaru's dazed reply. "Is the formal bit over, or…?"

"Oi, Shikamaru, no manners as always! Don't you want to give Temari a ring, too? Sheesh, men," Ino rants, waltzing into the garden; Choji is close behind, smiling genially.

"You—you two knew the whole time!" Shikamaru mutters, pointing an accusatory finger at his teammates.

"Hey Shikamaru, you're supposed to be the so-called Mastermind-of-Konoha; how many times do we need to tell you to look underneath the underneath for you to figure it out?" Choji teases, his eyes crinkling in mirth. "Here, I've got something for you."

Choji clasps Shikamaru's hand and places something cool and metallic in his palm: it is an antique wedding ring. "How did you…?" Shikamaru mumbles, staring at the Nara family heirloom with surprise.

"Oh, it was easy. Ino and I explained to your parents what the situation was. Of course, Naruto-kun was nice enough to give us a Hiraishin ride to Konoha and back."

"But— How did you— Oh never mind," Shikamaru replies, shaking his head.

Ino laughs at his bemusement. "Don't think you're off the hook though, champ; your parents want an official reenactment of the wedding at some point. Go on, give the blushing bride the ring, we're not getting any younger."

Shikamaru turns to Temari, unable to stop the shaking of his hands. "Listen, I don't know if you want a ring or not—"

Temari laughs as she steps forward and holds out her hand. "Don't keep a lady waiting."

The impromptu wedding party dissolves after that into riotous laughter and cat-calling; dimly, Shikamaru notes that even the Kazekage of the hawkish-stare-of-doom is grinning. Of course, Shikamaru doesn't pay to much attention to the giggles and guffaws behind him; he's more concerned with his wife.

Temari is still holding his hands and flushing from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She smiles up at him, and it's like the dawning of the sun; she kisses him, and it's electric. At some point, time starts up again—he isn't sure when it seemed to stop—and he pulls away long enough to rest his forehead against hers.

"I hear there's a position for ambassador opening up in Suna," Shikamaru whispers. "I wonder if Gaara will have me?"

Temari snorts. "I'm certain that this was all an elaborate ploy to get you to fill that position on a permanent basis. Speaking of which, I heard that there's a similar position available in Konoha? Maybe you could put a word in for me with your Hokage," Temari teases, her eyes sparkling. "We could spend six months in Suna and six months in Konoha; we'd be even, then."

She smiles at him and pulls him in for another kiss, and there's no time to think of a witty reply.


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