A/N: Slow updates suck, I know, so again, sorry for the waiting. Oh yeah, and since I seem to get asked pretty often, I have no problems helping people with story writing, be it grammatical, creative, whatever kind of help you need that you think I could help out with. Essentially, just about any harem anime, some video game RPGs, and other popular anime and video games stories I could help out with. So yeah, if you need someone to bounce ideas off, maybe a casual beta checker, etc. Feel free to send me a PM and I'll see if I can help you.
Chapter 11
"Mmm…"
A refreshing sensation covered my body, kind of like slipping into warm water that's been scented with flowers and such. With such an incredible feeling, I thought only one thing.
I must have died.
Yes, that strange, tentacle thing must have killed me, and sent me to this wonderful feeling. Ah… I suppose I can finally rest from trying to save the world from that silly girl Haruhi. I'm done… I mean, not that I'm not going to miss it, but… You know.
"Kyon…"
Ah, such a serenading voice touched my ears.
"Ah, Kyon…"
Mm, the angels are coming for me. I can make them out now, looking down at me. There's one with beautiful flowing green hair and a nice forehead, another with nice, full eyebrows. There's another cute one, with short hair and a very calm expression. Ah, one with a very beautiful face, and a nice cleavage I might add. There's one over there, with short black hair and a somehow soothingly familiar feel to her.
And there's one more beautiful angel looking down at me, with a very caring and worried face. Could that angel be worried about me? Never fear, beautiful angel, I'll come into your arms willingly!
I reached out to them, smiling weakly as I threw my arms around them. Take me to paradise, everyone!
"K-K-KYON!!!"
Within the next few moments, I learnt quite a bit. Number one: I wasn't actually dead. Number two: They weren't actually angels. And number three: When a boy they probably assumed was dead suddenly grabs a group of girls, they tend to react with a very strong shove.
"Uh… Sorry."
"W-What do you think you're doing, Kyon!?" As expected, Haruhi was pretty pissed.
"I thought you were angels," I said honestly. The girls flinched. Maybe I shouldn't have told them I thought I was dead. They probably think I'm an idiot now. Oh well.
I suddenly realized that there was one other I had grabbed, one that wasn't really related to the SOS club, at least as far as I could tell. She had short, black hair, was probably as tall as Yuki, and… well, she seemed really familiar.
"Ah!" I exclaimed, pointing at her. "It's you!"
Her face smiled suddenly. "You remember me, Kyon?" She seemed to have quite a vibrant personality. Not as super-vibrant as Haruhi, thankfully; just a normal and quite attractive kind of vibrance.
"Yeah, I think so… You're the one that was about to be attacked by that… Uh… Thingy."
Her smile faded slowly, turning into a look of disappointment. "That's not what I wanted you to remember, Kyon…"
Eh? What's that mean? Oh yeah!
"Oh, you were the one I accidentally tripped with near the hot springs, right? Sorry about that."
Was that it? Well, judging from her remaining dissatisfied face, it wasn't.
"Hmph!" She huffed a very Haruhi-like huff. "I'm not telling you if you can't remember!"
Ah… Whatever. I'm more concerned about a certain other thing, a certain other thing with tentacles.
"Um, sorry, but that, er, thing… Which way did it go?"
"I don't know… After it left, I stayed here to tend to you, Kyon…" she told me, playing with her fingers.
"Thanks. I better go and uh, get that thing."
"What was it?"
Damn, I was hoping she wouldn't ask.
"Um… it's… my pet."
"Your pet?"
Oh, brilliant work there, Kyon! Aren't you just the speaker of tomorrow! You really deserve a medal for that one.
Idiot.
"I mean it's like a pet… to me. It's like a pet to me, yeah… and… It's… my science project."
Haruhi looked at me. "What are you talking about, Kyon? Isn't it a- mmph!"
I quickly covered her mouth with my hand, wrapping it around her and slowly dragging her out of the room.
"Give us a minute."
As everyone stared at us, I dragged Haruhi out against her wishes and shut the door to the room. As I let her go, she burst away from me, pressing against the wall of the corridor.
"K-Kyon! What was that for?"
I quickly explained to her that I thought it would be for the best if people didn't realize that there was a weird monster thing lying around without a somewhat logical explanation.
"But everyone wants to see new things! This could be revolutionary!"
Haruhi, I think only you would find this amazing. Others would consider this a freak of nature. A gratuitously perverted freak, too.
Let's just go with my story, okay, Haruhi?
She tilted her head down, looking up at me like a child. "… Fine, if you say so. But only because you said so!"
Right, right.
We re-entered the room, and I quickly explained to the girls that it was just a science experiment of mine. The only one I had to convince was the new girl, and she didn't look like she believed me entirely.
"I'll explain it completely later," I told her quickly. "I'll just go catch it now."
Looking around the room, I found my mop. Only problem was that it was now broken, probably from my encounter with the monster earlier. Huh… This sure reminded me of an RPG. The only thing I needed now was for some wise, all-knowing wizard to tell me how to defeat it.
"The mind that creates a problem also creates a solution that is fitting in their judgment."
Yuki spoke out, and she said quite a mouthful, very much unlike her. And what did she mean exactly? Her eyes moved to the other side of the room, and mine followed to see the broken mop.
Oh.
Wait.
No way.
No. Freaking. Way.
Haruhi was the mind that created the problem. Therefore, it wouldn't be farfetched to believe that same mind created the solution. Haruhi made a solution, all right.
It involved a mop, a net, and a piece of chicken. Oh yeah, and one more thing…
Me.
Basically, whether I like it or not, I am part of the solution, and the only way that thing's going to disappear is if I finish it off with what has to be the stupidest array of weapons, ever. Well, since everything's been playing out like an RPG so far, I may as well consider it to continue as so.
That would mean that if I attack it with the net and the chicken, that would complete Haruhi's expectations of destroying the monster, and end this stupid situation. I sighed a long, drawn-out sigh.
This was going to be long. This was going to be arduous.
This was going to be embarrassing as hell.
I told the girls to stick together just to be safe (or, to be more precise, I was hoping Yuki would find a way to protect them). With that, I left them to return to the attic, where I hoped to find my… Ugh, tools.
During the daytime, I found it quite a bit easier to see in the attic. I noticed a dusty mirror in the corner, and took a quick look at myself, dusting the mirror off with my sleeve.
There I stood, wearing the clothes I had slept in, fought in, and got slimed in. In one hand, a bug net, the other, an old piece of chicken, which was probably starting to go bad. If the reflection I was looking at hadn't belonged to me, I would have definitely considered this person to be crazy. Looking real smooth, Kyon.
Another scream was heard in a room below, and already I knew what it was.
Oh yes. I was going to love this.
