So here's chap eleven! my mind is all screwed up but I still feel I didn't do Angel's insanity justice like I have before. Eng. . .

I still hope you enjoy :)


Chapter Eleven: Not Falling

That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and
just be.
Sinners, casting stones at me.

I... I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye)
I... I'll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)

Goodbye, sunshine, I've put it out again, sad
I'm over, personalities, conflicting, I don't need you, or anyone, but me, I'll just be, living
my own life
I feel my glowing center grow, infecting
I feel alive
Shovel dirt over lime, plant it in myself to sit like a seed under covers of earth and just be
Sinners, pointing fingers at me.

Come play kill
Refuse my body, refuse my shadow
Stond cold will
Refuse to lead this, refuse to follow
Bitter pills
Refuse to feed this, refuse to swallow
I'm fueled godless

There was a problem after moving into the bar. Easy enough to move into, easy enough to enjoy being there; it was just Angel had no idea what to do and between her anxiety and fragile mind it was just a matter of time before she slipped into the dark recesses of madness. She always had a problem deciding what to do; she needed to be told what to do. However, there was no one around beside a wolf and two ghosts.

Day one on her own wasn't too hard. She wanted a generator and that's just what she got and then some. There had been a shop on the corner of the town.

Angel laid on her bed in the loft upstairs in the bar starring at a ceiling that offered her nothing but silence. "What can I do?" she asked to no one in particular. She sat up in deep thought. "What to do?"

"Well I would go get a generator make this place a bit more homey. You know?" Lunar said appearing on a table in the corner.

"You know that's actually not a bad idea," she responded throwing her feet off the side of the bed. "I wish I knew where to find some ammo."

"Worry bout one thing at a time," he said before disappearing. She stared at the spot for a long moment wondering where the hell he had went. She shrugged and stood up catching Mutt's attention. She stretched and slumped back into a sloppy posture.

"Are you going with me buddy?" she asked softly taking her guns off and pack throwing them on the bed roughly. He stood and wagged his tail. "I thought so." She gave a small laugh and walked to the stairs. Mutt and her descended the stairs quickly.

"A drink before ye' go?" Sunny asked motioning his hand at a serious of bottles behind the bar.

"Wouldn't hurt anything," she decided hopping over the counter pouring herself and the ghost a shot in two dirty glasses. She drank it all in one go before sputtering from the strength of the drink. "Ready to go?" she asked Mutt hopping back over the counter. The dog wagged his tail before playfully running to the door. She smiled before taking off in a run toward him.

She opened the door and Mutt ran out before looking around carefully to see if the coast was clear. "You wanna go play?" she asked lowly. He gave a yip before taking off and running out of sight. She had no fear that he would leave her. She then double times it to the other side of the small town breaking into a mechanic shop she had left alone the day before.

She walked around the various counters grabbing up a gas can before she went into the back of the store. The shop was huge and had various cars. In the corner she spotted a small generator and picked it up. It was a bit heavy but she didn't let the weight bring her down. She put it down for a moments and scavenged gas out the abandoned cars with a hose. She had a full gas can and there were still plenty of cars that she hadn't got the chance to scavenge.

She grabbed up the can and generator making a bit of nosy and before she knew what had grabbed onto her something bit down into her fore arm. She stumbled back from the walker that had latched into. She took the knife and jumped up stabbing it in the head and pulled her knife out. The bite wasn't big but she knew what would happen. She decided to pretend it never even happened before grabbing up the dropped supplies and running back to the bar. She left the door half way open for Mutt.

She stumbled to the bar before letting her back fall against it roughly. She studied the bite carefully. She decided to cut her shirt to make a bandage. "God damn it!" she screamed at the air. She knew she was going to die. It was ok though and she accepted it. She'd just burn out and it would all be ok. She grabbed the bottle from eelier with a wide grin. "It's finally over!" As she got deeper into the bottle a drink right after the other she fell into a deep sleep.

She woke up to the dark with something licking on her arm. How long had she been out? She didn't know. She stood up going behind the bar lighting a match. She found a few candles and lit them. Mutt whined from the other side of the bar. She quickly shut the front door barricading it with a heavy table. She stumbled back to her spot before relaxing again. She took the bandage off and the bite had scabbed over somewhat. Mutt came over and began licking it. She didn't bother to stop him until she thought that maybe it'd make him sick. She pushed him away and tied the bandage back around it.

Why wasn't she dead yet? She couldn't figure it out. She felt her head remembering people telling her you get a fever when you start to turn. She had no fever. Maybe she'd be ok.

She stood then stumbling a bit trying to adjust her eyes better to the candlelight. "Sunny! Lunar!" She yelled and smoke danced from the candles and they sat on each side of her on bar stools. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded to know slamming the bottle down on the counter.

"Don't know maybe you need to find someone who could give you some answers," Lunar offered, pouring himself a drink.

"Aye!" Sunny cut it. "Ye' shoulda' turn by now . . . But ye' haven't."

"Aren't you happy?" Lunar asked starring her down with pale blue eyes that pierced the darkness all around.

"I don't know . . . maybe . . . I'm just confused," she said lowly taking another drink form the cracked bottle settling in the bar stool in a slumped posture. She was confused beyond belief.

"Go get some sleep darlin'," Sunny ordered disappearing into the darkness with Lunar. How did she feel about the two ghosts that would tell her what to do? Happy. She thought they were actually alive and not just her mind playing tricks to keep her alive.

She stood with a lot of effort then. "Come on Mutt time for bed," she said lowly leaving the bottle on the bar top. He whined nudging a bowl begging for some food. "Ok give me a minute."

She grabbed the candle and fled behind a door that had been a supply room and picked out a bad of packaged food and snatched up a bottle of water. She shut the behind her quietly and kicked his bowl that he starred at before she ripped the bag opened and poured the odd looking food into the bowl and grabbed another pouring water into it. He gave a small smile before jumping into it eating it.

She laughed before descending the stairs and leaving the door cracked for Mutt. She wasted no time stripping her demolished shirt off and jumping in the dusty sheets and pillows the bed offered. Dead sleep followed soon after.

She jumped out of her sleep around seven in the morning. She was scared at first. But fear subsided when she realized she was still herself and hadn't turned. Why though? She couldn't answer it. Maybe she was immune to the virus. She didn't know. She did feel a lot better now however her mind seemed a bit cleared.

She pushed the dirty sheets off of her and held her head for a moment. She nudged Mutt who lay beside her and he gave a growl before jumping down with an annoyed look. She wiped her eyes clean of any sign of sleep. She jumped up grabbing her sack that she had slung of the bed the night before. She yanked a tank top off and pulled it over her head.

After a moment she flopped back down on the bed removing the bandage on her arm studying the bite. It looked like a new scar no longer needing a bandage. "What the fuck is going on?" she asked hoping for an answer.

Mutt starred at her like she was stupid before leaving the room. She threw the regiments of her make shift bandage on the floor. She grabbed both sides of her head in frustration. That's when she remembered Jewel and started sobbing. She hoped she was ok. She couldn't stay still any longer and dwell on her thoughts. It would drive her mad. She clipped on her knifes and pulled her boots on tying them half way before leaving the room.

She starred at the generator for a long time before picking it up and going outside. She went to the back noticing where a generator had once been. Or she guessed it had been. A box made out of plywood stood with an opening to place something in and a plug hung loosely coming out a back window. She placed the generator inside and hooked it up to the plug.

She then retrieved the gas and filled it up turning it on briefly to see if it worked. She turned the lights on in the bar and laughed happily especially considering the plywood blocked almost all the noise the generator produced. She cut it off to save the gas before returning inside. She sat down at the bar noticing a dirty glass half full of liquor. It had been the glass she filled for Sunny but that didn't register to her. She drunk it and fled back to the storage room and grabbed two packs of food and a bottle of water.

She sat at the bar eating the dried food the best she could as Mutt ate his quietly on the floor beside her. She finally pushed the food away and took a big swallow of water. She went back to the loft upstairs and saw there was a spot that came opened on the ceiling. She pulled the cord that hung off of it and it opened to a small set of stairs. She climbed them and emerged on top the roof. She smiled happily at that. She now had a look out tower. She had everything she wanted at the moment and it made her happy for once. Happiness can only last for so long though . . .

Day 51

Angel had only gone down after she finally came to terms that Jewel was really gone and she had no way of knowing if she was ok. There were days where she would laugh and dance to music in her head all day. There were days where she would pick fights with bar stools and tables only beating herself up. And there were days she'd try to talk to Jewel and hit the bottle, crying herself to sleep when she realized she wasn't there.

It was a very fucked up little world she had created for herself. If it weren't for Mutt she would've probably cut her wrists to bleed out after the first few days. The descent into madness had only gotten worse as the days went by. She had forgotten the others all besides Jewel. She could never forget the girl no matter how hard she tried and it took its toll. This day though, this day changed everything.

"Mutt!" Angel sung happily kicking his food bowl with her foot. Mutt ran out wagging his tail and yipping happily. She grabbed the bowl and put some food in it and teased him. The first time was ok but the second time he growled at her warningly. Picking a fight with a 174 pound wolf was not something someone does for the hell of it but there she was smiling like hell. Mutt jumped on her growling and snarling loudly. It was something to fear but she just laughed harder. "Ok you fucking cry baby!" She yelled and slid the food away from her and he released her from under him with an annoyed stare. "Mutt is a pussy," she sung laughing. "Ok crybaby eat your food I'm going to the roof."

With that she fled up to the roof with and empty rifle. She sat up there in the hot sun for a few hours starring down at the roads silently. Movement drew her attention away though and she placed the gun against her shoulder starring down the sight. A man appeared walking down the road. He wore a black shirt and camo pants. He had long black hair that reached his shoulder and a goatee that was way too long. On his belt was a knife and that's all the weapons he had. He was covered in dirt and blood.

She quietly placed the gun down and ran to the other side of the rook using the gutter pipe to slide down quietly. She crept around the building with no sound and waited for him to pass the bar.

Quickly but silently she made her way to him, from behind she grabbed him in a chokehold and drew his own knife placing it to his head. "Who are you and what the fuck are you doing here?" she demanded yanking him back roughly.

"Who the fuck are you?" he yelled back grabbing her arms that squeezed him throat. "Please I don't want any trouble. I'm just passing through looking for a woman." His voice made something in her mind click.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Angel Hellfire! You probably don't know her!"

"I may! Why do you want her?" She let her grip relax a bit but still kept him in place.

"Her boss has been looking for her and he sent me! My name's Chad!" She pushed him away and he turned quickly with his hands up. His blue eyes fell into shock for a moment and he smiled. "Angel you scared the hell out me!"

"How do you know me?" She still held the knife ready to throw at any time. He kept his hands up still smiling.

"You don't remember me? I was a scientist at the base. You trained me. Where's Sunny?"

"No I don't remember you." She lowered her guard and held the knife out for him to grab. "Sunny is inside with Lunar and Mutt." The man frowned and took his knife hesitantly.

"Angel . . . Lunar has been dead for a while."

"No he's not! Come in I'll show you." She turned and walked inside the bar with him following her. "Sunny! Lunar we got company!" she called out loudly. They never appeared but Mutt did and he growled and snarled at the man. "Shut up! He's company be nice!" She patted his head and he lowered down watching the man closely.

"Angel," Chad said softly keeping his distance from the dog. "Lunar died seven years ago on the field." Angel starred at him with knitted eyebrows a long time her mind regeristing something terrible happening seven years ago.

She looked around the bar for the two ghosts once again. To her they were alive and this guy didn't know what the hell he was talking about. She then noticed the shot glasses that were still full where she had poured drinks for them. Then it clicked. They were both dead and she had been taking advice from ghosts. That realization nearly knocked her down. She turned to Chad and started laughing hysterically then started sobbing slumping down on a broken barstool. "You're right I forgot," she whimpered loudly. She looked up with a straight face then. She smiled at him. "And Sunny has been dead for months now. I had to shoot him after he got bit." She grabbed a bottle nearby and took a big swallow trying to forget they were actually dead.

Chad just watched her. She had always been a nut job but she had taken it to a new level. It was in all honesty scared shitless of her. He took seat at one of the tables and rested his elbows. He starred at her further and he noticed the scar on her arm. He had to ask. "What happened to your arm?" She turned and laughed a little.

"I got bit but I never turned. Can you give me any answers on that?" He looked taken back.

"Wh-what? How?" he stuttered.

"I don't know! You're supposed to be the smart one!" She stood then kicking a bar stool across the room. He stayed quiet as she had her fit. She kicked tables and threw empty bottles all around yelling profanities. "It's not fucking fair everyone's gone! Chad there are all gone!" She threw her hands out be dramatic. "And I'm still here! Why the fuck is this?" He stood then slowly not to agitate her any further.

"I don't know . . . When shit hit the fan the only person Axel wanted was you that was nearly six months ago. When Sunny never came back he sent everyone out to look for you, he even sent a chopper over to Thailand. You must be really important to all of this."

"So he knew I couldn't be infected or something?" She flopped down on a table she hadn't demolished in her rage.

"I can't answer that but he could. We packed up and moved us all to a more secure base between Georgia and South Carolina. He wanted me to find you and bring you back when no one else came."

"If he sent you he must be out of good man. Where's Jeff and Tiny?"

"I don't know."

"You come in here with a lot of information boy . . . but you ain't answered the first damn question I've asked . . . My twenty ninth birthday was last week and I couldn't even get a fucking ice cream cone." She laughed and he gave weak smile leaning against the wall. "You know Chad for a nerd you're kinda cute . . . got a rock star look about you." He gave a big grin then blushing a bit.

"For a merc that's completely fucked in the head you're kind of charming."

"What? That's all I get?" She laughed. She let her smile fade quickly. "So what now?"

"We could try to go back to the base."

"Nope!" Angel drug the word out stubbornly before standing. "Not going back to that shit hole and let you experiment on me. Wasn't that bad of a bite in the first place."

"That scar says otherwise."

"Still I'm not going. You can stay here until you decided what to do but I'm not leaving. This is my home now. End of the story, you've done enough as it is."

"What did I do?" he said a tad bit louder then he met to.

"A lot actually. Stay away from me while you're here." She stood then and retreated up to the loft with Mutt right behind her. The wolf didn't like the man, then again he didn't like anyone besides Angel. Angel returned to the roof and grabbed up her rifle and perched herself up there once again with a bottle. She started crying then remembering that Sunny and Lunar were really gone. It was taking a big toll on her.