Author's Note: Alrighty, here's the next one. Sorry it's a little late, I was feeling crappy most of last week, then busy the rest. Well, I'm back at school now, but I don't know if this will affect my Blood Minus writing. It might take longer to get them up, or it might not change at all – I really don't know yet. Well, we'll see, I guess. Read and review, please!

Disclaimer: I don't own Blood .

Blood -

Episode 11

After the Dance

In the basement deep below the school, the Phantom otherwise known as Karl otherwise known (to his irritation) as Jackie Chan stood before the curious metal container that so intrigued our heroes. Raising a hand (insert joke of your own here), he gently caressed the smooth, cool metal of the box for some strange, unknown reason. Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know the reason, whatever it is.

"That's sexual harassment," the container stated matter-of-factly.

"What the-?!" Karl took a step back in shock.

"I could have you incarcerated!" The container went on. "So just keep your pervy hands to yourself, mister!" It paused, then coughed. "Er…hand."

"Okay, this is bull-bleep," Karl growled. "First the Frenchie, then Saya, now a mother-bleeping container?! Damn, I wish Saya was here so I could sexually harass her!"

-With Saya-

Saya, who at that exact same moment was laying on her bed in her dorm room, shuddered involuntarily.

"Dammit, again?" She muttered, rubbing the goose-bumps that'd appeared on her arms. "And this time it isn't Min! It's gotta be that gross Phantom-Karl-Jackie Chan guy! I bet there isn't anyone else in the world creepier than him!"

"Sayaaaaaaa!" Min sang, leaping out of nowhere and belly-flopping onto her roommate's bed with majestic grace.

"I lay corrected," Saya sighed, then took a deep breath. "Auuuuuuuuuugh!" She screamed into Min's face until her breath failed her and the cry petered out. She panted for several moments, then glared at Min. "WHAT?!"

"Help me pick out a dress to wear to the dance party tonight!" Min pleaded, batting her eyelashes sweetly. Saya grunted.

"I think that one suits you best," she muttered, gesturing at the straight-jacket Saya herself had special-ordered for Min after the second time of waking up to find the creepy girl had mysteriously migrated to her bed.

"Oh, you're so funny!" Min giggled. "But I don't have any shoes that go with it. Anyway, since skinning you and making a dress from your lovely pale flesh it out of the question-"

"My lovely pale what?!" Saya sputtered.

"Er, I mean…" Min cleared her throat. "What are you gonna wear?"

"Uh…" Saya thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't have a dress."

"Don't worry, you can wear one of mine!" Min suggested generously. "Here, try this one on!" Saya grumbled a bit more, but complied.

"…You seriously think they'll let me wear this to the party?" Saya asked doubtfully, staring down at her outfit. She was clad head to toe in a tight, shiny black leather suit with a police cap perched on her head. Heck, she even had a leather whip coiled at her belt, and the short jacket she wore was open, revealing a good portion of her chest. Min just shrugged.

"No," she said truthfully, then whipped out a camera and snapped a quick shot of Saya in the outfit.

"Okay, time to change!" Saya said brightly, turning to do just that. She froze as she caught sight of Haji, pressed up against the windowpane and drooling buckets as he ogled her shamelessly. "And close the shades."

-That Night, At The Party-

That night, the dance party was held. All the guests gathered in ballroom, where loud, obnoxious techno music was blasted from speakers on the stage, and a DJ was busy scratchin' out rhythms and whatnot for the girl students to grind to. Others gathered around the tables, chatting it up with the men who were allowed to attend. Min stood off with a small group of girls, all in ball gowns and the like.

"Hey, where's Saya?" One girl asked, looking around the room.

"She said she'd be here," Min assured them. "I wonder if-"

Crash!

"Saya HUNGRY!"

"There she is!" Min looked over to where the loud bellowing was coming from and spotted Saya (in a lovely white evening dress, how cute!) attacking a group of partygoers for their food. Poor girl, she hadn't had a bite to eat in about, oh, five minutes. "Saya!" Min called. "Over here!" Saya stopped her assault on the group and stared blankly at her roommate, not moving.

Min held up a hotwing. Saya's eyes widened with delight, and she shot over.

"Oooh, gimme!"

"Saya!" The other girls cooed as she chowed down, "you look great!"

"I especially like your…uh…" One girl paused mid-sentence and hesitantly patted Saya's strangely bulging chest. "Geez, whatcha got in there, girlfriend?"

"Bagels," Saya replied.

"Bagels?"

"Yes, bagels," Saya repeated. The girls stared. "They're my emergency food stash, alright?! Back off! You're all just jealous because you didn't think of it! And no, none of you bitches are getting any!"

Wha-pissssh!

A whip-crack sounded through the hall, followed by haughty laughter. Saya and the others turned to see Annemarie, in extravagant dress, being carried in on a golden palanquin. The snotty girl was lounging on the throne and fanning herself while several unfortunate girls bore the weight of the seat on their shoulders, grunting with exertion and slowly shuffling around the room.

"Faster, slaves! Faster!" Annemarie ordered, once again cruelly whipping the girls with a lash made from unicorn hairs (don't ask me where she got it). "Make my beautiful hair blow in the wind! Make my lovely dress ruffle in the breeze! Faster!"

"With a fat ass like that, no wonder it takes four girls to carry her!" Saya said, quite loud enough for Annemarie to hear.

"What was that, peasant?!"

"Nothing!" Saya said sweetly, then tripped one of the palanquin bearers, making all four girls collapse, the throne teeter, and Annemarie tumble off her perch and into the punch bowl. Ding, ding! Ten points!

"Hey, hey! Don't ruin the food!" Saya barked, yanking Annemarie out of the drink and gently righting the table. "What kind of sicko are you?!" She turned, reached for a piece of pie, then stopped. "Oh, wait! I might stain your dress, Min!"

"Oh, it's al-" Min began to say.

"Well, if you insist!" Saya immediately dived head-first onto the table, grabbing all the food she could and kicking away any other guests who dared stray near her and her prey.

-Outside-

"Where's your invitation, sir?" A snobbish-looking man in a tux asked, turning his nose up at Okamura's disheveled hair and cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Plus he stank. Like hot garbage. "You cannot enter the party without one."

"Oh, I've got my invitation right here," Okamura said dangerously, holding up a tightened fist and shaking it under the man's nose. "As a matter of fact, I've got five of them. Now lemme in."

"Oh, really?" The snooty man raised a prim eyebrow at the reporter. "Well, congratulations, sir! I've got a coupon for you. It's called the 'Bruno Coupon'." A monstrous-looking man whose muscles were close to bursting through his suit suddenly appeared behind him, leering down at Okamura. "The coupon works like this; you either leave now, or Bruno tears your effing head off! One day only!"

"Sounds good to me! I'll take it!" Okamura said cheerfully, then spun on his heel and skipped away down the road. Once out of sight of the two men, he burst into an all-out sprint and leapt mightily into a row of bushes. "Dammit! How the hell am I gonna get in there?! Freakin' sasquatch is guarding the…huh?"

He looked up curiously as a limo drove by – a limo with a large black man wearing sunglasses as the driver, and it sure as hell wasn't Morgan Freeman drivin' Miss Daisy. …The rap music throbbing through the speakers and the spinners on the wheels might have given it away, too.

-Back Inside-

Back in the party room, Saya was polishing off her snack (as she called it) with the rest of the punch from the huge glass bowl.

"Gluck, gluck- gaah! Bleeech! Tastes like Annemarie!" Saya sputtered, wiping her mouth and gagging.

"Saya!" A deep voice called from behind.

"Huh?" Saya turned to find David and Julia, dressed to kill in fashionable evening-wear (well, Julia was dressed to whore it up, but you know what I mean). "Oh, hey Da- HOLYEFFINGCRAPEXPOSEDNIPPLES!" Saya shrieked, throwing herself backwards onto a table and away from Julia's near wardrobe malfunction. Damn, girl! Show off the goods, not the whole damn store!

"What is it?" David asked in confusion, glancing down at Julia's scandalously bare midriff. "I see nothing wrong." Julia frowned slightly at this and pulled her top open a little more. Saya staggered up from the ruined table, covering her poor, violated eyes with her hands and speaking in what she hoped was the direction the two were in.

"So, what're you guys doing here?" She asked.

"If anyone asks, looking for my lost puppy," David answered coolly. "Has Karl, the Phantom, showed up?"

"…Well, he's not the DJ, if that's what you-"

"Alright." David scowled. "Here's the plan. I'm gonna sneak into that basement place and check out the container. Julia, you-"

"Hop on the stage and do a sexy dance?" Julia suggested hopefully.

"…Actually, that's a good idea," David admitted.

"Really?" Julia brightened visibly.

"Yes, really." David paused. "It'll be a perfect distraction for everyone else while I'm gone. In the basement. And not here. Later!" Saya gently patted Julia's back, who slumped in defeat as David tip-toed off.

"Whoa! Daaaamn!" There was a sudden commotion on the other end of the room. Saya looked up to see girls cheering and whistling as a quite handsome young man in a white suit entered the ballroom.

"Aww, I thought it was Richard Simmons," Saya sighed, turning away and leaning against a wall. "Bo-ring!"

"He's so fine!" The girls whispered to one another, continuing to admire the attractive boy. "Drop me them digits, toots, so's I can phone ya! Baby got back!"

"Oh, you bitches!" The young man smiled and blew his audience a few kisses. "Hmm? What's this?" He suddenly noticed Saya, standing off to the side, not paying him homage, and so began walking toward her.

"Ohmigosh! He's coming straight toward me!" Annemarie flushed (or it could have been the punch which now dyed her hair, dress, and skin pink, either way) and held out a hand for the boy to take. He barely paused, instead raising an eyebrow and snorting before brushing past the snotty girl.

"Bitch, please," he stated. "I've seen better weaves on a cabbage patch kid."

Saya was busy trying to figure out how to remove her precious bagels from the confines of her dress without exposing herself in public (she's not like Julia!), and so didn't notice the boy approaching her.

"Dammit! Almost!" Saya rifled around in her dress top, then winced in pain. "Ow! My titty! What are these things made out of, volcanic rock?!"

"Would you like to dance?" Saya froze and looked up to see the handsome young man standing before her, holding out his hand expectantly. She weighed her choices.

"You got any food?" She asked after a moment.

"Well, I've got this half-eaten Snickers bar-"

"Good enough! Let's dance!" Saya grabbed the candy bar in one hand and the boy's shirt in the other, hauling him toward the dance floor. Jamming the bar in her mouth, she quickly spun around and placed her hands in the appropriate positions.

"So, what're we doing?" Saya asked. "The tango? The rumba?" She paused. "The booty-dance? What?"

"Um…let's just dance," the boy suggested, and the two took off. As Saya and the young man spun and skipped around the dance floor, knives pinged and panged all around them, just missing their marks.

"Dammit!" Haji hissed, peeking out from under a table and glaring at the boy holding his beloved Saya. "Stop moving, will you? Wait, maybe I can kill him with sheer willpower." He narrowed his eyes, screwed up his face, and gave a drawn-out grunt.

"Mmm…she smells like bagels…" The young man thought dreamily, twirling Saya around as they danced. Guess it didn't work, huh, Haji? Poor guy. Give him some chips or somethin'.

-Meanwhile, Down in the Basement-

Outside the bustling party, David crouched before the basement gates, carefully picking the lock and singing his own theme song as he did so. …What a dork.

"Dun dun…dun dun…" David hummed, intent on prying the lock open.

"David…" Louis said from the microphone in his ear, trying to get his attention.

"Dun da dun…da dun…"

"David…"

"DUN DUN DUNNNN!"

"DAVID!!!!" Louis hollered.

"What?!" David snapped back.

"The door's already open, man!"

"…Oh." David sheepishly eased the door open and slipped inside.

-Back Inside-

Back at the party, Saya was now hopping up and down in place as the young man watched her inquisitively.

"…What're you doing?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Trying to dislodge my bagels!" Saya answered, not stopping her hopping.

"…I love you…" the young man stated, staring at Saya with eyes filled with utter devotion. …Or horniness.

"Solomon!" An annoying, French voice called out. "Zhere you are! Come now, time to go! Or as we say, aller!" Mr. Argeno came storming up and grabbed hold of the handsome young man (who we now know is called Solomon), tucking him under his arm and walking briskly away. Saya didn't really care – she wanted her bagels, and she wanted them NOW.

"Will you pleaze stop falling in love with every girl you see?!" Mr. Argeno snapped, glaring down at Solomon.

"Oh, I do n- whoa! Did you see that hottie?! She was a fox!"

"You see?!!" Mr. Argeno went on to spout several French expletives.

-Back With David-

David quietly closed the door to the basement and checked his immediate surroundings. Slowly withdrawing his gun, he snuck down the hallway, keeping to the shadows. And promptly began singing again.

"Dun da dun…dun dun…dun dun daaaa!" David ducked to the right, rolled from one side of the hall to another, skipped hopscotch, then slammed his back against the wall, sloooowly sliding forward as he looked up, down, everywhere for any signs of enemies. "Dun dun dunna dunnn-"

"David. There's no-one down there." Louis growled through the mic.

"I know," David replied. "Why do you think I'm doing this? Hee-yaah!" He jumped around the corner and leveled his gun in front of him. Before him sat the metal container that Saya had reported. "Diva…" David whispered.

"Gesundheit," Louis answered. "Geez, that cold will not go away, huh?"

"Shut up!" David snapped, then pointed his gun at the container. "Alright, hands up! No quick movements! Lemme see them hands!"

-Aaaaand Back at the Party…Again-

"Mm…I love bagels…" Saya sighed, having finally wrested them free from her bosom and enjoying their stale-donut like taste. She was walking around with Min (voluntarily?!) outside the ballroom, under the starlit sky and soft breeze.

"What else you got in there?" Min asked, eying her chest.

"Nothing now," Saya sighed, munching up the last of her hidden treat. "I'll have to resort to cannibalism soon."

"Uh, bye!" Min wasn't crazy enough to not know when to run the hell away.

"Ohh, stingy!" Saya called after her. "I'd only want an arm or a leg!"

"How about a hand?" A sinister voice asked from the shadows. Saya gasped and whirled around to just see the Phantom dash past and down a darkened hallway.

"Phantom! Get back here, pervert!" Saya cried, running after him. Yeah, real smart, Saya. Follow the pervert into a dark, secluded area. Geez…

"What's going on?!" Julia asked, running up (or rather, bouncing up) alongside Saya.

"I just saw the- ENORMOUS BREASTS!!" Saya sputtered, losing her footing and falling down. Julia heaved a sigh and hastily pulled the top of her dress closed.

"Better?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, very," Saya answered, getting back to her feet. "I'm going after the Phantom! Where's Haji?"

"Right here!" Haji answered…from under Saya's skirts.

"Wha…what the bleep are you doing…how the hell did you get under…GET OUT OF THERE!!!" Saya exploded, kicking Haji out from under her dress and yanking off a heel to beat his head in with.

"I wasn't doing anything!" Haji protested. "I just needed a witty and humorous place to hide-"

"Oh, I'll just BET!" Saya growled, jumping at him.

"Save it, you two! GO!" Julia interrupted, grabbing them both by the collars and propelling them forward. The three of them followed the Phantom's trail toward the basement, where David was right at that moment! Uh-oh!

Speaking of David, he was quite screwed. Turns out the container was on the back of a truck, and the drivers weren't too happy to see him.

"I saw you! Come out, now!" One of the drivers barked, pointing a gun at David's hiding place.

"Damn! What do I do?!" David was sweating buckets. "What do I DO?!" Then he looked directly next to him and found Okamura standing there like an idiot.

"Hi," the reporter began pleasantly, "I'm trying to find-"

David grabbed him and flung him out in front of the truck.

"Reach for the sky!!" The driver with the gun ordered. Okamura quickly obeyed.

"I just wanted to take pictures of the girls!" He wailed.

"A pervert, eh?" The driver scowled in disgust. "You sicken me!" He pistol-whipped Okamura, who crumpled to the ground, unconscious. "Let's go!" He hopped back into the truck with his partner, and the vehicle began moving forward.

"STOP!" David cried, dramatically jumping into the light and blocking the truck's path.

"…Or, what?" The driver asked.

"Or…or I'll be really upset?" David finished lamely.

"David," Louis sighed in his ear, "you have a gun."

"Oh. Right!" David lifted his weapon and fired. Too late! The Phantom had leapt down from the shadows and easily blocked the bullets with his grotesque chiropteran-arm. "That's cheating!" David protested.

"And now it's time for a game over!" The Phantom hissed.

"Oh my God that was so lame-" David's insult was cut short as the Phantom sent him flying backwards with a strike. Saya, Julia, and Haji rounded the corner just in time to see him hit the wall with a brittle crack.

"David!" Julia cried in horror.

"Julia!" David weakly lifted his head and looked at her. "D is in the T! C the L!"

"…What?" Julia blinked in confusion. David heaved a sigh and looked at her crossly.

"Diva is in the truck," he explained tightly. "Call the Louis. Seriously, Julia, what's the use of having a secret code if you're not gonna use it?"

"You're the one who wanted the dumb code in the first place!" Julia shot back. Then the Phantom stepped out of the shadows menacingly. "Stand back, Saya!" Julia said courageously. "I'll flash him!"

"Oh, like you're not doing it already!" Saya grumbled. "You get back!" She shoved Julia behind her and withdrew her sword.

"Actually, I'd rather it be Saya who-" the Phantom began.

"Shut your mouth!" Saya barked. Haji attacked from the side, hitting the Phantom squarely with his cello-case and sending him flying through a wall.

"That's for before!" He cried out vehemently. "See how you like it!"

Close by, Okamura was recovering from the ill effects of being smacked across the face with a rather hard and unforgiving gun.

"Hmm?" He raised his head and squinted his eyes. "Reporter senses…tingling! Some shit's goin' down!" He scrambled to his feet, grabbed his trusty camera, and followed his nose towards the scent of…discovery! …Okay, I admit, that was lame.

Back with Saya, the Phantom had gotten back on his feet and easily threw Haji down, then set his sights on Saya.

"Eeeeek!" Saya panicked, took a step back, and tripped over her own feet. What a klutz! In the fall, she not only ripped up Min's pretty dress, but got all bloody too. Ow!

"Hmm…" The Phantom narrowed his eyes at her. "Were you always this clumsy? I can't really remember…"

Blam!

A gunshot sent the Phantom flying, and Saya turned to see David holding the smoking gun, with Julia's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Let go! Your boobs are in the way!" David barked.

"I'm helping you aim, you jerk!" Julia retorted. Despite being shot, the Phantom got back up and began assaulting Saya. Haji also joined the fray, and the three began a spectacular fight among the wine-casks of the cellar. Okamura's eyes widened when he peeked over the casks and saw them.

"Jackpot!" He whispered, clutching his camera. "I gotta get me some of this!" He began taking shot after shot of the action, capturing Saya's epic battle on film. "Yes, yes! Perfect! Yes- NO! Hey, excuse me!"

Saya, Haji, and the Phantom all froze in place and looked at him.

"Yeah, can you get a little closer into the frame?" Okamura asked, gesturing at Haji, who frowned but took a small step forward. "Okay, good! And you! Raise your sword a little higher!"

"Like this?" Saya held her sword up a bit more.

"Yes, that's perfect! Don't move!" Okamura held up his camera. "Say 'cheese!'"

"Cheese!" Everyone sang, smiling sweetly.

Click!

"Thanks!" Okamura turned and ran like the fires of hell were roasting his ass.

"You're welcome!" The others called, then resumed their battle. Suddenly the Phantom stopped and cocked his head.

"Wait, what time is it?" He asked.

"Um…" Haji checked his watch. "It's nine."

"Oh, crap!" The Phantom gasped. "Lost is on! Later, losers!" He blew Saya a kiss, flipped Haji the bird, then disappeared into the shadows. An awkward silence filled the room.

"Well," Haji stated, "I much prefer America's Next Top Model-"

"No-one asked you, Haji!" Saya snapped.

-Outside-

Min lay in wait outside the girl's-school's walls, hiding in the bushes. Where was Saya? She'd already jumped out and chloroformed two other girls whom she thought was her love, only to realize they weren't (and had to 'dispose' of them accordingly). Now it was nearing midnight, and still-

Suddenly the front doors banged open, and David, followed by Julia, Saya, and Haji, came scrambling out, all looking scruffed up and tired.

"OhmygoshSaya!" Min squealed, jumping from the bushes. "What on earth happened? Why do you look like you've been raped or at a Hana Montana concert? I-"

Haji effortlessly knocked the chattering girl out and dumped her into the nearby ditch. One thing Saya didn't need right now was another crazy person trying to molester her. Besides Haji. A limo peeled up in the front drive, and everyone got in.

"Louis, find out where that container is heading!" David ordered as he threw himself into the passenger-side seat. Louis (dressed like a valet, albeit a chubby, African-American valet) put the pedal to the metal, and the group shot off in the limo.

"Well," Louis answered smartly, "my senses indicate it's heading toward the nearest Mickey-D's! Let's go!"

"I somewhat find that hard to believe-" David protested.

"Hey, man! Just cuz you don't eat doesn't mean you have to ruin it for everyone else!"

"Food, Saya!" Haji whispered, gently nudging her. "Cheer up!" Saya just sighed and looked away.

"I…I'm not hungry…" She mumbled sadly.

Screeeeeeeech!

Louis slammed on the brake and brought the limo to a screeching halt. Everyone turned in their seats and stared in shock at Saya.

"My God…" David whispered in horror. "What have we done to her?!"

-Episode 11 End-

Disclaimer: I don't own Blood .

Author's Note: Whew, done. Now I gotta get ready for my first class. Bleagh. Later! Hope you liked it! Review, please!