Chapter 11
"Are you sure this is allowed, Sakura?"
She didn't spare Ino a glance as she stepped into the Hokage Tower, going downstairs instead of up. After spending many years working in this place, working under Tsunade, Sakura knew exactly where to go and she knew exactly where her former teammate would be held while they created new chakra suppressants.
"I need to see him before we leave."
In her opinion, Ino had every right to worry. Sakura was no longer a Konoha-nin, meaning she shouldn't be entering highly classified areas – not without the Hokage, at least. However, like she had just stated, she needed to see Sasuke one last time. She needed to speak to him, to see how he was doing.
The dungeons of the Hokage Tower were cold and damp, just like the last time Sakura had walked through them and she couldn't help but shiver in response. It was horrible thinking of Sasuke being down there, in a place like that. He probably deserved it and had more than likely stayed in even worse places, but it was still a thought she didn't like. They were all outside, living their lives and finding happiness, whereas he was locked away, cold and alone.
There was no electricity down in the dungeons and they had to rely entirely on the flame-lit torches that were held up on the walls. Sakura didn't see the point in them. Yes, they gave them a bit of light, but only the corridor and not the actual cells.
Sakura wasn't surprised when two figures faced her and Ino as they turned onto the corridor where Sasuke's cell was being held. It didn't surprise her when they began to walk forward, to stop her.
What did surprise her was when a small whirlwind of sand intervened, spinning and swirling until it took on the shape of her husband.
The two guards immediately bowed and as they did, Sakura caught their features in the light.
Sai and Yamato.
"Kazekage-sama."
"You will grant Sakura access to Uchiha Sasuke," he informed them. "It has been allowed by your Hokage."
There was a pause, one where Sai glanced up at Yamato. "Taichou?"
"If Hokage-sama has allowed it, then we will not stop her." His dark eyes moved to Ino. "However, we cannot allow for Yamanaka Ino to pass."
The blonde's eyes were wide with shock and disbelief. "Are you insane? I'm her freaking carer. I need to be there with Sakura in case anything happens–"
"Ino, it's fine," Sakura sighed. "I'm not even supposed to be down here, so it's understandable." Just when Ino went to argue, she cut her off with a small smile. "I'll call for you if I need you. I want to speak with Sasuke in private, anyway."
Reluctantly, the blonde nodded and pointed over at the doorway. "I'll be waiting right over there."
Gaara folded his arms over his chest, watching the two guards. "As Kazekage, I ask that you give my wife privacy to speak with her former teammate."
Again, that surprised Sakura. Gaara was allowing her to speak with Sasuke alone? Without her carer and without guards? Why? But she didn't ask questions and instead stepped around them, thanking him earnestly as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He didn't return the gesture or lean into her kiss, but the fact that he didn't pull away meant a lot.
It wasn't until they all walked away that Sakura took a deep breath and closed the distance between herself and the end cell, her eyes straining to try and get used to the darkness as quickly as possible. It was unnerving not being able to see much and it made her uncomfortable that Sasuke had to endure something such as this. He was an Uchiha, after all. He should be living in comfort, not in damp dungeons with hardly any light.
"Sasuke." His outline shifted as Sakura came to a stop and called his name and she watched as he turned in her direction.
"Sakura?"
"Yeah, it's me."
"I thought I heard you earlier."
It sounded more like he was confirming that fact rather than speaking to her, so she didn't answer. "How are you feeling?" A scoff reached her. "Right…" Sakura sighed, thankful that her eyes were finally adjusting to the darkness and once they had, she slowly lowered herself onto the ground, sitting in front of the cell with her legs crossed. "Tsunade-sama says you'll be out of here by the end of the week. They just need to rebuild your home and create the chakra suppressants."
No answer.
Not that it really surprised her.
"She also found out that what you said about your brother was true."
There was a sigh and much to her surprise, Sasuke moved forward, copying her as he sat down opposite her and crossing his legs. It was difficult, but they could almost forget about the bars between them. "He didn't want anyone to know."
"Then why did you blurt it out?"
He looked exhausted, like he hadn't had a decent night of sleep in a while and her heart ached for him in response. "I lived most of my life believing that Itachi was a criminal, that he killed our entire clan for his own selfish reasons of wanting to test his capacity. I was…" He sighed again. "I'm tired of hearing people badmouthing him."
That confirmed one of her thoughts. There had been a twisting in her gut the moment she caught sight of Sasuke returning to Konoha and she knew that there had been something behind his return. He hadn't returned because he wanted to. He returned… "You want them executed."
"Yes."
There was no hesitancy. No uncertainty. Sasuke was adamant about his decision and knowing him (no matter how little that may be) the way she did, Sakura knew it would take something huge to change his mind.
Before she could say anything, after a lengthy pause, he continued. "They're the reason why I'm like this, Sakura. They're the reason why my brother is dead, why my entire clan is dead. They sit there in their expensive robes, living lives of luxury while my family and everybody I ever cared about is dead. Where is the justice in that?"
Tears were filling her eyes no matter how hard she tried to stop them. Never before had Sasuke shared so much with her. Never before had he just sat down and spoken to her like they were equals instead of her being an annoying pest. And having him discussing something so personal, so close to him, with her… It was heartbreaking.
"There is no justice," her voice was hoarse and nothing more than a broken whisper. "But… Sasuke… It was only Danzo who gave Itachi those orders. He–"
He shook his head, cutting her off. "That may be so, but the elders had Itachi spying on our clan. They forced him to choose a side and used his loyalty towards the village to their advantage. The same went for his best friend, Shisui." At her stunned silence, Sasuke muttered, "I remember a time… I was only around eight years old. Itachi was being accused of murdering his own best friend."
There was a pause but Sakura didn't interrupt. She knew that Sasuke was collecting his thoughts and finding the right words to use. The entire time he appeared as aloof. It was like he was distancing himself from the memories even while he was sharing them with her.
"Apparently two members of our clan missed a meeting the night before and those were Shisui and Itachi. The next morning, a note left by Shisui was found. I can't remember exactly what was said, but I heard the word 'suicide'. And… Itachi… He reacted on his emotions for once, on what he was feeling. There was arguing and at one point, he got violent with them. He didn't like feeling accused. He was still broken up about Shisui's death." He shut his aching eyes. "It turned out that Danzo was the one behind Shisui's death. He stole one of his eyes and before he could take the other, Shisui killed himself. Itachi watched."
The tears that had been gathering in her eyes slipped down her cheeks. Part of Sakura wanted to beg Sasuke to stop telling her such things. They were painful to hear and the thought of anybody having to go through that made her heart ache something vicious. However, another part of her knew that he needed to let it out. There were only three people left in the world that he was close to and even then, they weren't all that close. That was herself, Naruto and Kakashi. No matter what, they would always support him and try to protect him.
He took a deep breath and tilted his head to the side ever so slightly, raising an eyebrow at her. "Why are you here?"
It seemed he was closing himself off again. She held back a sigh. "I'll be leaving in the next few days," Sakura told him quietly. "I… wanted to see you before I left."
There was a pause. "You never think about yourself."
"What?"
"You. You're always thinking about somebody else and you never take the time to take care of yourself. Just like him."
She frowned in confusion and leaned forward ever so slightly to try and see his expression more clearly. It was difficult, but somehow Sakura managed. He looked angry. "Like who?"
"Itachi," he murmured, his voice low and rough. "Instead of dying with the rest of our clan, he lived as a traitor and a criminal just so I could live. He was always putting me before himself. Just like you have always put others before yourself."
"I'm–"
"Pregnant."
A pause. This one lasted for what seemed like an eternity before Sakura's hand fell to her stomach, rubbing it softly. "I am."
Sasuke regarded her for a moment. "Naruto told me about your choice." Silence. "You're going to die for your baby."
She gave him a shaky smile. "Tsunade-sama says there's a fifty percent chance of survival if I can activate–"
"Why don't you just abort it and try again?"
Blunt. He'd always been blunt. Her anger flared and it took a few seconds to calm herself down. Getting stressed and angry wasn't going to help things. "What's to say other pregnancies won't be the same? What's to say that I'd even be able to conceive again after? This…" She shook her head, once more stroking her stomach. "This is my baby, Sasuke. Gaara and I created this baby out of love and support a-and…" Again, Sakura shook her head. "And if I have to die to give my child life? So be it."
His hands dropped onto his knees, gripping them ever so slightly. "Growing up without a mother…" The look Sasuke gave her was hard, serious. "It is the worst kind of solitude."
"He'll have his father and his aunt and uncle and–"
"They're not his mother, though," Sasuke cut her off harshly. "They're not the ones who can answer certain questions for him. There are things only mothers can offer to their children. A child needs a mother to guide him, to protect him and comfort him. He needs his mother. Not substitutes or other bullshit like that."
She turned her head away from him and wiped at her eyes. "I think I should go."
Sasuke watched her with heavy eyes, yet a cold expression. It was like he was forcing her to see what growing up without love could do to a person and it was tearing her apart on the inside. "The jutsu you were talking about…" When Sakura finally looked back at him, he raised an eyebrow. "Use it. No matter what it takes."
Encouragement? Why was he encouraging her? Then again, Sasuke knew what it was like to live without his mother, although under different circumstances. He had had his mother viciously ripped away from him at the tender age of eight years old. "Ino."
The blonde was immediately by her side, warily watching Sasuke for a moment before she was helping Sakura to her feet and guiding her out of the dungeon.
"Why can't you stay for longer?"
There were a few sighs as Naruto kept hold of Sakura, keeping her against him and rubbing her back. "We need to go home, Naruto. The Kazekage being away from Suna for so long isn't good."
Reluctantly, he nodded though when he pulled away, he gave her a serious look. "You'll be coming back soon, right?"
It took a lot of effort, but Sakura managed to give Naruto a smile. "A few weeks before my due date, we'll be coming back. Tsunade-sama said it would be best to give birth here, where she can help out."
"We need to leave, Kazekage-sama."
Sighing at the ANBU operative, Sakura gave her friends another smile. "Kakashi-sensei, try to keep Naruto and Sasuke from pulling each other's hair out."
"You ask for the impossible." He chuckled before nodding once. "Be safe, Sakura."
And only moments later, they left.
The three day journey was incredibly long and silent and every few hours, they had to stop and take breaks. Every single time they stopped, Ino checked Sakura over with her medical ninjutsu to make sure that they didn't disturb the baby too much. So far, so good and they all inwardly sighed with relief when they finally, finally arrived in Suna. It was during the night that they returned, thinking that it would be best for Sakura since it was unbearably hot during the day. Night times were cooler, sometimes freezing, but they were more comfortable in their own way.
At some point, Temari split off from the group, waving her goodbye as she returned to her own home.
Due to being Sakura's carer and needing to be close in case of an emergency, Ino and Sai would be staying with them in the Kazekage's mansion. Kankuro had had two rooms set up for them while they were returning, so there was thankfully not much to do other than seeing them to their rooms. That only took a matter of seconds and once they were alone in their bedroom, placing their things down onto the dresser, Sakura turned to watch her husband.
He hadn't said much to her, if anything at all, during the journey back to Suna and she would be lying if she said she didn't miss him. And there was something else Sakura was beginning to miss a lot, also: intimacy. It had been weeks now since they were last together in such a way, or since he'd even kissed her. Sure, Gaara had held her a few times since they arrived in Konoha, but that wasn't the same. She wanted to be held out of love, not comfort.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Sakura decided to make a move and closed the distance between them. She draped her arms over his shoulders, nuzzling his neck for a moment, but just as she went to press her lips against his neck, Gaara stunned her by jerking away roughly, nearly causing her to fall forward.
There was no explaining his actions. No words were said. He simply left their bedroom.
Just like he would have before their relationship began.
