A/N: Come on peeps, I need some well thought plans for revenge here. I'm skimming the bottom of the pond here (aha, get it, get it, the pond...!#) ...well, as always, I hope this manages to entertain everyone out there. Special thanks to Jenny, and her splendid mike check, Melina, who has wisely decided to not call the canon po-po, and Shadow, who dropped by to leave a review !
The rest of youse, you better get cracking and catch up, so I can name drop you here too ! :)
xoxoxo
Disclaimer: Don't make me go Bankai on your ass, T.K.
Vengeful Afternoon
The next day, Maya still couldn't believe her luck. Not only had operation "Liberate the Koi" failed, (well, at least her part of it, Yachiru still got away with over forty fish, who were now happily living in Ugendo with their cousins), but to top it all of, the damn...err...darn man had managed to not only exact his revenge on her by dumping her into the pond, he had also: 1) stolen another kiss 2) given her a cold.
The day just couldn't get any worse, in Maya's opinion. Not only she was stuck at Ugendo, since her dad did not want her to go to work with a cold, and being her captain, he had the right to keep her from the 13th, but she was also stuck with an annoying, sniffling, unbecoming cold, and a still throbbing shoulder. And it was all stupid Byakuya's fault! That good-for-nothing, uncaring, kiss-stealing bully ! Who, not only had managed to almost destroy her carefully constructed plans for future dates with his swim in the pond, but had also taken liberties with her person, stealing not one, but two kisses. Not that the kisses had been bad, Maya contemplated, thinking of how wonderfully warm and soft his lips had been, but still...he didn't even kiss her for the right reasons! Not because he was hopelessly attracted to her charms, and couldn't stay away from her, or because he was too enamorated of her wonderful kitty costume...no, he had kissed her to shut her up, and then to punish her! What kind of wicked, evil person does that? Byakuya Kuchiki apparently did, or so it would seem.
Lying in her bed, angrily thinking of all the different ways she would exact revenge on him, her eyes happened to catch the camera the SWA had lent to her back when they were doing an expose on the 8th squad's drinking parties, and the general lack of pants of some of the party-goers at the end of the events... they had in fact gotten some pretty interesting shots of Kira and Shuuhei in their undies, which had gathered a lot of attention from the female population of Sereitei, but had also provided them with enough funds to pay for their vacation to the real world last spring. Eyeing the camera evilly, Maya started thinking up ideas on how to mess with Byakuya, starting today. If she couldn't get out of Ugendo to wage full blown war, she could at least start sowing the seeds of discord in his mind.
"He will rue the day he decided to mess with Maya Ukitake" she said to herself, although in truth, because of her cold, it sounded more like he will wooe de day he dezided to mez wif Maya Ukitake.
Hours later, a satisfied, if slightly feverish Byakuya received a thin package in his office, with no forwarding address. Curious, and too arrogant to think it could be anything threatening, he opened it anyway. A variety of photos slid from the package, to fall on his desk. A feeling of foreboding went through him, but he was too curious to stop himself. Picking up the photos, and looking at them, his expressions went from curiosity, to shock, to annoyance, to downright anger. The pictures, innocent at first, were of the Ugendo Koi pond, and some of it's more illustrious inhabitants. Namely, all the Koi that had gone missing from his own state over the decades. In the pictures, a red-nosed Maya made sure to somehow insert her face, even going as far as pretending to kiss one of the bigger fish, much to his disgust. With barely contained anger, he got up from his chair, and slammed the pictures in his desk, scaring his lieutenant, who had been occupied in the corner with some paperwork, who looked at him with a mixture of fear, and surprise. Giving his lieutenant a cold, "do not speak" stare, he sat back down, and decided that payback was imminent, and more than just. He spent the rest of the day concocting many plans to get back at the ridiculous menace, who had apparently not learned her lesson with yesterday's display.
He was still working on his devious plan, when another package arrived for him, this time, what appeared to be dinner. He frowned, thinking he had not ordered dinner yet, but accepted it anyway, opening the package to inspect the much needed meal, thinking maybe his lieutenant, or even Rukia had thought to send him something over, since he sometimes forgot to feed himself when preoccupied with Gotei business. Opening the bento box, he noticed it was beautifully prepared sushi, and hungrily,he decided to dig in, since he had, after all, skipped lunch. It was only halfway through the meal that he noticed the paper that was attached to the inside of the bento box, a small, folded note. Curiously, he picked it up, dreading the worse. In the note, a simple paragraph, guaranteed to not only make him lose his appetite, but giving him enough motive to kill that CURSED MENACE|!
"Dear Byakuya," it read, "I hope you are enjoying the specially prepared FISH I have taken the time to make. Do you recognize it's distinct taste? Feels like a piece of home, doesn't it? Sincerely, Maya"
He cursed out loud, getting up to throw the damned meal away, for a second forgetting that his damned lieutenant was still in the room, now cowering in his desk as if he had been the one to feed him his own Koi. Thinking it was about time he started exacting sweet revenge on the obnoxious, vengeful sprite, he left his office, not even bothering to say goodbye to his lieutenant, who now hid shaking under the desk, thinking Byakuya's anger was directed at him.
He made his way home, a million plans going through his mind, until he settled on one, which was guaranteed to send the spiteful girl over the edge. Deciding that revenge was a plate best served cold, he finished his walk home a lot more calmly, knowing tomorrow would be early enough to start his campaign to bring down the menace. Appetite restored, he decided to see what was being served tonight in the Kuchiki table, praying for once, that it wasn't fish.
I would just like to point out that no Koi were actually harmed in the making of this episode. The fish Maya sent him were everyday, run of the mill, sushi-grade fish she found in the kitchen, and not any of the precious Koi. She just wanted to scare him, not scar him for life. Please review if you think it was evil anyway ! :)
