Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Possessions are fleeting. We must expand our minds beyond the need for worldly things.
Anij: Any agent who tells you that producing giant billboards of yourself advertising adult diapers is a good idea needs his head checked. You, for agreeing with said agent, also need your head checked. Congratulations.
PyroSlytherin: Yes, yes indeed I am one of the funniest people on the planet. Unfortunately, it is the planet Uranus, so that's not saying much.
yodeladyhoo: Terribly sorry, but that video has gone into my vaults. No eyes but my own shall ever see the gloriousness that is Jareth dancing with a badly animated banana.
Avalon's mists: I'm not sure Jareth's face on a fly would be considered advertising so much as a science project gone horribly, horribly wrong. Of course if I did find a fly with Jareth's face on it, I most certainly would not squish it. It would be, after all, the prettiest of all the flies.
notwritten: Are you breaking up with me? I can't... This is just... You're so cold! How can you be so cold!! sob
WhiteInfinity21: A well kept secret to my writing style is that most of it is done while I'm sleep deprived. Don't tell anyone.
Nation Jones: Well I'm too lazy to send this to your email address since I can't just hit 'reply', so there. Nyah. Jareth will smite you most painfully for comparing him to Gene Simmons. Even I would not go that far. And yes, they did make Jareth condoms, but they did not do so well. Seems men were uncomfortable putting on a rubber with Jareth's face on it. Women, on the other hand, loved them.
darkbangle: You are far too eager to threaten me with your paddle. I have figured out your dark secret. In a past life, you were one of those nuns who taught Catholic School and smacked kids around with rulers.
musicalexpert: Sarah never gets fat because of her tape wor- I mean, because of the magic of the Labyrinth which allows her to eat any and everything. Don't you pay attention? Geez.
MartiOwlsten: Give it up. Everyone knows your a major pervert. I've seen to that. )
Aurora Satine: You will not lay your filthy, common hands on the royal personage. Let this be a warning to you. Next time, you will be flogged by a band of rabid chinchillas.
Kat: Your sister has much wisdom. You should listen to her more often. Except when she tells you that the Easter Bunny doesn't exist. It's not true. It's not true I tell you! I believe!!!
Nothing Tra La La
Danika Lareyna
Chapter Ten
Under the Influence
Jareth did not reply immediately. He merely stood in the next aisle over and glared at Sarah. Many thoughts were going through his mind at that point. Unfortunately, thanks to the massive quantities of wine he had consumed, none of them were very rational.
The first thought that came to Jareth's mind was rage that the dratted girl would dare to shop at his grocery store. Granted, it happened to be a block from her house, but that did not give her the right to exist there when it was inconvenient to him. At the same time it occurred to him that her hair was very shiny. He thought that it would be very nice to touch such shiny hair and that it probably smelled quite nice. But most of all, Jareth wondered when Sarah had become triplets.
It was at this point that the ex-Goblin King gave a little hiccup and passed out on the grocery store floor.
Sarah peeked around the display and into the next checkout lane. Jareth lay sprawled on his back, a tiny dribble of drool hanging from the corner of his lips and an impressive variety of alcoholic beverages scattered about his inert form. Sarah contemplated for a moment and decided that there was nothing for it. Abandoning her cart, she grabbed the rock star beneath his shoulders and hauled him out the door.
Fortunately, being a mystical being from another realm, Jareth was rather light and Sarah had very little problem physically maneuvering him into her bright pink Hummer. The only tricky bit was getting his head out of the window in time for the contents of his stomach to come hurling up in an alarming display. Sarah was quite proud of herself that she managed to avoid getting anything on either herself or her car. The elderly woman who had been walking next to her car at that unfortunate moment and ended up covered nearly head to toe in 'chunks', was slightly less enthused.
As Sarah drove home, managing to only hit three parked cars, a street sign and a garden gnome named Quigley, she cast a nervous glance at her passenger. She had rather hoped that Jareth would remain blissfully unconscious, at least until she could get him safely to her home, but he did not seem to be cooperating. His eyes opened and he glanced over at her blearily. A wide, childlike grin lit his face and, in a slurred voice, he exclaimed, "Sarrrrah! Hello, Sarah. Pretty Sarah. Soooo pretty." He waved a hand in her general direction, but missed horribly. It did not seem to phase him. Leaning towards her, he whispered loudly, "You wanna know a shecret, pretty Sarah?"
Uncomfortable as Sarah was dealing with a highly inebriated Jareth, she was not about to let an opportunity like this pass her up. "What secret?" she asked, taking her eyes off the road for a moment and therefore swerving up onto the sidewalk and saving the life of a three-legged cat who had been crossing the street.
Jareth leaned even closer. Sarah wanted to recoil at the stale smell of alcohol on his breath, but forced herself to remain still and listen. "I shink..." Jareth said, but a hiccup cut him off. He paused, seeming utterly taken aback at the phenomena that was his hiccup, but shook himself out of it and began again. "I shink that I'm in love with... with..."
Her heart seemed to clench up and, afraid to meet his eyes, Sarah prompted, "With?"
In lieu of a response, Jareth passed out once more, his head landing with a little plop in Sarah's lap.
xXx
Shameless Self-Promotion
Hey, did you know I have a livejournal? I rarely (if ever) update it. And when I do update it, I rarely (if ever) write about my fanfics... But what the hell, check it out anyway. My journal name is DanikaLareyna.
Exciting.
Additional Shameless Self-Promotion
I am looking for a beta. For details, see my profile.
