Hi Everyone!
Here is the new chapter, we hope you like it.
The weekend passed way too quickly. Kurt didn't want to go back to school but he had no other choice. He had to wake up on Monday, get dressed and go with the others to his first class. He wasn't paying attention on the way there. Finn and Santana tried to talk to him but Kurt didn't even hear them, he was too lost in his thoughts. He kept thinking about what Carole had told him. He tried to imagine what having a baby would be like, if he could deal with it on his own. Sometimes he felt like he wanted it but then he got scared of the thought. A baby… It was a huge thing. A commitment for his whole life. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that. Okay, probably not. He was too young to take care of another human being, especially a vulnerable baby. He didn't know a thing about babies, he had no idea what he had to do with them and he was scared that he might make a horrible mistake if he decided to keep the baby. His life would be over for sure. He wouldn't be able to finish high school or go to college. He would stay in Lima for the rest of his life and he wasn't sure if he was ready to give up his dreams for somebody else.
But the baby was already there… It was living inside of him and if he decided not to keep it, he would be murderer. He would kill an innocent, only because he hadn't been careful enough. He wasn't sure if he could deal with the guilt.
He simply didn't want to think about it. He tried to ignore the thought and live his normal life. As if it was so easy. He was sick all the time, he could barely eat, barely sleep, and it only seemed to get worse. He had spent that morning kneeling beside the toilette, getting rid of everything he had ever eaten. Now he was dizzy and hungry but he didn't dare eat anything because he was scared of throwing up again. He knew that he had to act like nothing happened, especially when he was alone, without his friends. Although a few members of the glee club already knew his secret, he wanted to keep it to himself as long as possible. He didn't know what his decision would be in the end and he didn't need more difficulties in his life. He just wanted to survive.
"Are you alright?" Finn asked in concern as they made their way down the corridor.
"Sure" Kurt nodded.
"Tell me if you want to go home or something" Finn said. "Burt made me promise that I would keep an eye on you."
"As if we wouldn't do that anyway" Santana snorted.
"Thank you, guys" Kurt said gladly.
Kurt didn't notice that something wasn't right until lunch break. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't see how the other students looked at him. But then, as he made his way to the cafeteria, thinking about what he could stomach when he was so nauseous, it finally caught his attention. It wasn't more than a whispered word first but it was followed by more. Kurt turned to look at the small group of football players and gulped nervously. They were whispering and motioning towards him with such disgust on their faces. Kurt picked up pace, needing to be as far away from these guys as possible.
Suddenly, he was grabbed and pulled back, the grip on his upper arm so tight that he was pretty sure that it would leave a bruise. Kurt tried to break free from the other boy's hold but it was all useless. He had already learned that, he was no match against these guys. The boy pushed him to the wall and that was when Kurt recognized the face. He gulped nervously. The boy was towering over him, cutting him away from everything else. Kurt was only glad for one thing, that it wasn't Karofsky. It would have been so much worse, if the situation could get any worse at all. He was in huge trouble. Azimio was towering above him like a huge monster, with that disgusted look on his face Kurt hated so much.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked, trying to use his most confident voice.
"We need to talk, fairy" the other boy said.
Kurt huffed in annoyance. He hated how these boys treated him.
"We have nothing to talk about" he said and tried to push Azimio away but the boy only held him tighter.
"We know what you are" Azimio said.
"That's funny" Kurt snorted. "You keep calling me fairy. Don't you know that such things don't exist?"
"You know what I'm talking about" Azimio said. "We heard about you."
He looked at Kurt's stomach and the boy instinctively put a hand on his flat stomach, protecting the baby if necessary. Now he was scared of what could happen to him. He had no idea how the others had learned about his condition so fast, probably someone from the glee club told them accidentally. That was the only explanation. Kurt knew his friends and trusted them. They would never do anything to hurt him.
He tried to step away, thinking about running as far as possible. He usually didn't run away but it was different this time. He was responsible for somebody else, a little and vulnerable being, it was his job to keep it safe.
"Where are you going?" another boy asked and pushed Kurt back to the wall. "We aren't done here."
"What do you want?" Kurt asked nervously. It was unbelievable that no one came to save him. There were so many students around and none of them called for help. No, they just kept staring at him with disgust and hatred. Was it possible that they all knew about him? How?
"You're a freak" Azimio said. "And that thing… Who knows what a monster it is."
"It's not a monster!" Kurt shouted.
"We'll take care of it…"
Kurt closed his eyes, unable to stop shaking. He was used to being bullied but this one was different. He was scared that the baby – his baby – might get hurt and he could do nothing to save it. He couldn't believe it was happening, in the middle of the school, and no one did anything to stop it.
"Hey! What's going on here?"
Kurt was released in the next moment and he opened his eyes to see what happened. The first thing he noticed was that the boys stepped away from him and weren't looking at him anymore. They were watching somebody else, Kurt noticed. He inhaled deeply as he watched a very angry looking Noah Puckerman making his way towards them.
"It's none of your business" Azimio snarled.
"It is if you hurt my friend" Puck said.
Kurt blinked in surprise. Sure, they were sort of friends with Puck but they weren't really close. They only spent time together because he was Finn's best friend.
"Don't say he's pregnant with your kid" Azimio said.
"What if he is?" Puck asked. "Get the hell out of here. Now."
Kurt couldn't believe they listened. For a second, he thought that they might try to hurt Puck, maybe go into a fight with him, but they slowly backed away from them in the end. Kurt kept his eyes on the football players until they completely disappeared from his sight and only then released a sigh.
"Hey, are you okay?" Puck asked in concern.
"Yeah" Kurt muttered.
"Are you sure? You are so pale" Puck said.
"Just a little shaky but I guess it's completely normal" Kurt said. "I can't believe everybody knows about it."
"Thanks to Rachel" Puck snorted. "It was her first thing to do this morning."
Kurt sighed and shook his head. He knew that Rachel hated him for taking her solo but it wasn't really his fault that Mr Schue had chosen him over Rachel. And it wasn't like Rachel would die of not having the spotlight just once in her life. The others deserved it just as much as she did and Kurt had won the competition for them after all, she should be glad and not hurt him like that.
"So where are we going?" Puck asked after a while.
Kurt looked at him in surprise. He had no idea what Puck was talking about.
"I think it's clear that you can't wander around all alone. It's not safe" Puck shrugged. "Come on, let's find a more private place. I want to talk to you anyway."
"About what?" Kurt frowned.
Puck didn't answer. He grabbed Kurt's hand and led him out of the building. They didn't stop until they reached the football ground that was empty this time of the day. Puck looked around and only took a step back when he was sure that there was no one to hear them.
"Okay. What do you want to talk about?" Kurt asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Who is the baby's other father?" Puck asked.
"It's none of your business" Kurt said.
"Oh, come on. You can trust me" Puck said.
Kurt wanted to. He wanted to share his secret with Puck so badly but he couldn't let anyone know about his night with Blaine. Santana and Brittany already knew the truth and that was more than Kurt was comfortable with. It was his big secret and he couldn't let the whole school know what he had done. He didn't want to deal with more trouble. It was already so hard for him.
"Kurt, I mean it" Puck said. "You need someone to talk to."
"Why would you help me?" Kurt asked. "We're not even friends."
Puck seemed hurt but didn't mention it. To Kurt's surprise, he stepped closer and took his hands again.
"You are right" Puck said in the end. "We aren't too close but we are friends. We sing in the same glee club and your stepbrother is my best friend."
"That's not too convincing" Kurt snorted.
"Just listen, okay?" Puck said. "I want to help you."
"You can't help me, Puck" Kurt said in frustration. "The whole schools knows about my pregnancy. The pregnancy I'm not even sure I want. Whatever I do now, people will know. And they'll judge me. You can't protect me from that."
"No, I can't. But you don't have to deal with this alone. We can do it together" Puck said.
Kurt freed his hands and stepped back. Now he was perfectly sure that Puck was only playing with him. It was a lot worse than what the others had done. At least they were honest with him, they told him how they thought about him and his condition. But what Puck was doing…
"Stop it" Kurt said quietly.
"Stop what?" Puck asked in confusion.
"Stop playing with me like that" Kurt said. "I really don't need this right now."
"I'm serious!" Puck said.
"Puck…"
"No, listen to me" Puck said quickly. "I'm serious. I know it seems insane but I mean it. I want to help you with this."
"And how exactly do you want to do that?" Kurt asked.
"I don't know why you don't tell me who the other father is but I guess you have a good reason" Puck said. "You're all alone with this baby and it's not right. If that asshole doesn't want to take responsibility for his actions… then I will."
Kurt blinked in surprise. Then blinked again. He needed about a minute to finally understand what exactly Puck was talking about. Now he was pretty sure that either Puck was joking or he was drunk. Or something like that. But he was definitely not knowing what he was talking about.
"Are you drinking again?" Kurt asked carefully.
"Of course not" Puck snorted. "I haven't had a single beer since Quinn's fake pregnancy."
Kurt remembered that, of course. They had all thought that Quinn was with a child, she had had a positive pregnancy test and every possible sign that she was going to be mother. Kurt remembered the disaster it had caused. They had soon figured out that the baby was Puck's, although Quinn had been dating Finn then. He remembered that the boys had had such a horrible fight and that Finn couldn't even look at Puck or Quinn for a very long time after that, even when they had figured out that it was all fake. Kurt also remembered how nice Puck had been to Quinn. He had found himself a job to get extra money for Quinn and the baby and he had taken care of her the best he could. Puck could be really mature when he wanted to. Only he had nothing to do with Kurt's situation.
"Thanks, Puck" Kurt said in the end. "But I don't need your help. I don't want to get into another crazy lie. Besides, no one would believe it. You are straight."
"I always liked pretty boys…"
"Thank you, but no, thank you" Kurt glared at him.
He shook his head and turned to leave. His life was crazy enough without Puck's crazy ideas.
"This is insane" he muttered to himself. Sure, sometimes Puck did crazy things but this one was definitely worse than any other. Telling everyone that the two of them… No, that was crazy. Kurt would never agree with that. That wasn't how he did things. It was his own problem, he had to deal with it alone. Or not completely alone...
~ o ~
"You have to tell him."
That wasn't exactly what Kurt wanted to hear. He had believed that Santana understood him, that she would tell him what he needed to hear from her. Santana seemed to have other ideas, though, ideas Kurt didn't like at all.
"He has a boyfriend" he muttered.
Okay, he had considered telling Blaine about the baby, he had convinced himself that it would be the best, because it would be right, but then he imagined what Blaine would say and decided not to. Okay, he still knew deep inside that he had to tell him but he was too scared to make a move. Blaine would be so disappointed, maybe even angry. Kurt was pretty sure that he wouldn't like the idea of parenthood and would tell Kurt horrible things. That he didn't want the baby. That Kurt should get rid of it...
"And then what?" Santana shrugged. "He fucked you without condom. He has to take care of the baby."
Kurt closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Santana wasn't helping at all.
"I don't want to know what he thinks" Kurt said honestly. "What if he doesn't want the baby?"
"Does it matter? He has the right to know. Besides, you don't know what you want either" Santana replied.
That wasn't completely true. Although Kurt told everyone that he needed time to think, he made his decision. He knew that he wouldn't be able to kill the baby, so he would keep it. But he wasn't sure he would be able to deal with Blaine, too.
"Just call him" Santana said.
"I don't know his phone number" Kurt said.
"Then write him a letter" Santana said. "You remember that post, right? There was an address included!"
"For fans only" Kurt said.
"Aren't you listening? You could send him a letter!" Santana said.
"I don't want to tell him like that" Kurt said.
"That's the only way" Santana shrugged. "Unless you fly to Los Angeles and tell him personally."
Kurt was pretty sure that his father would never let him do that.
"The letter is it then" Santana nodded.
"Does he really have to know?" Kurt asked, hoping that he would find a way out of this.
"Yes" Santana said without hesitation. "Tell him or I will."
Kurt took a deep breath. He really didn't want this but he believed Santana. He knew her well enough to know that she would write Blaine if she had to. But that would make everything more complicated and Kurt really didn't want to deal with that. He just wanted to get over with this and focus on the more important things. Like how he would raise a child when he was only fifteen himself. Or how he would be able to look at his son or daughter who was 50 % made of the boy Kurt loved. That would be hard for sure but Kurt also knew that he would love the baby no matter what. Maybe even more than he could imagine it because a part of Blaine lived in that child. Kurt would have what he wanted in the end… only not the way he had thought.
"I want to see his face when he receives this" Santana said as she pushed a piece of paper and a pencil into Kurt's hands. "Maybe he'll finally learn that he shouldn't leave romantic letters for his one night stands when he's in a relationship. I guess he won't have to worry about that anymore after this."
Kurt closed his eyes and tried to shut out everything Santana said. He knew what his friend thought about Blaine but he couldn't really blame him. Blaine surely had a good reason for staying with Sebastian and Kurt had to accept that. He had to keep it cool and short. Just the facts. He couldn't let Blaine know that he had broken his heart or how scared he was. No. Blaine surely didn't care about him. But if he did this right, maybe he would care about the baby and it didn't have to grow up missing one of their parents. Kurt knew what it was like. And he wanted better for his own child.
