Ten
It is here that I feel I must apologize, and even though I have perhaps done this on countless other occasions and I have also tried to make it a policy not to repeat myself, I feel it is absolutely necessary for me to do at this point in the story.
There are times, even as a narrator who has gone to great lengths to discover the many elements of a story that it is absolutely impossible for me to write these details down on paper.
Not because I fear I have a lack of understanding of the subject or to worry that I might go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about a matter, or describe it in too much detail, but because the details themselves are so terrible that I find it hard to even cope with them myself and so therefore I feel it is not necessary for you to suffer as well.
You will notice in the previous chapter if you were brave enough to follow the Baudelaires thru their journey in the dank and depressing sewer that I chose to black out the details of how they came face to face with a particular phrase I do not enjoy reiterating but for the sake of clarity shall.
The phrase in question was "the light at the end of the tunnel" and the usage was to refer to the fact that the Baudelaires were in a life or death situation. That situation, I must insist that I do not describe the details of this nightmarish experience and I must apologize because as an author I promised I would write down every detail of this account as best as I could, but yet I feel that I cannot possibly explain everything that happened to Violet, Klaus and Sunny while they were in the passageway.
I cannot begin to tell you how frightened the children were as the water around them began to rise and make them even wetter. Nor can I explain how much they tried to find an exit, but then suddenly realized they were nowhere close to one.
The sheer terror that gripped the children was so much that it would take countless pages to describe it so instead I shall simply list all of the adjectives appropriate to this situation that the Baudelaires found themselves in, and then you will be able to understand fully how horrendous, nightmarish, terrible, frightening, despairing, devastating, wicked, awful, dirty, wet, sopping, gunky, smelly, fishy, oily, fearful, depressing, dank, dark, retched, reckless, sorrowful, tearful, loud, fast, quick, impending, impossible,
powerful, strong, resonating, dangerous, erroneous, deadly, cold, icy, pitiful, miserable, painful, different, slimy, damaging, harmful, hazardous, stony, crazy, stupendous, nasty, wonderful, squeamish, thrashing,
scary, ritzy, flashy, stormy, funny, sad, bad, offensive, daring, lazy, rich, strange, abolishing, ambushing, wavy, blue, repetitive, mean, angry, derisive, lashing, windy, enclosed, wrong, jumpy,
fascinating, colorful, good, enlightening, cleansing, dirty, unsafe, constructive, unclean, unhappy, unbearable, unimportant, undone, washing, burning, falling, high, tall, low, squealing, screaming, noisy, quiet, eventful, forthcoming and heavy this scenario was.
And as descriptive as those adjectives are, they still would not do this situation justice so instead I must apologize because I cannot even begin to explain how this situation played out and how close to death the Baudelaires came as they cried out for help, unable to find their way out of the labyrinth mazelike tunnels and desperately searched for some kind of escape. And as the water rose, their chances for survival decreased and the children clung to one another.
Violet kept Beatrice as high as possible so the infant wouldn't accidentally inhale any water, and then her younger siblings clung to her so that they could evade the waters grasp which were continuing to rise.
It is here that I must further apologize, because as dire as this situation may seem, I must remind you that many more will befall the children in the days to come and as the orphans thought that the water would surround them and take their life, but at the very last second another usage of the light at the end of the tunnel came to be known and a voice called out to them from above.
The Baudelaires had no idea what to do, and were so frightened that they climbed in haste up the rope that was dropped down the hole in their behalf. Beatrice kept a tight grip on Violet's shoulders as they climbed, using every ounce of energy they had left to reach the top and escape the rising flood.
As they fell onto the floor and gasped for breath, the middle Baudelaire turned to see that it was Count Olaf's evil twin that had rescued them from the abyss and Klaus sighed in relief, because he had half expected it to be Mister Dominic and then the situation would've been much worse. If you feel the same way as Klaus, perhaps you are correct and perhaps things would've been much worse had Mister Dominic saved the children instead of their new guardian.
But the situation did not improve much for after Falo saved them, he immediately began to berate the children, a word which hear means "make Violet, Klaus and Sunny feel like they were very dumb for doing what it was that they did".
"Baudelaires!" he chided them, "What were you doing down there?"
Before the children got a chance to explain, the evil twin of Count Olaf proclaimed, "You could've clogged up the sewers!" The orphans, still getting their breath back, looked at each other and chose not to respond. Falo stood there and continued, "You know very well that there are places here in the Very Fine Dwelling that you shouldn't go to, even if our rules don't apply to them specifically. But I can assure you from now on if we get new recruits I will inform them that these sewers are off limits.
It was a very foolish thing for you to do. I would've expected better from the children of our leaders. But I suppose some things are not passed from generation to generation. From now on I expect you to be cautious around the sewers, Baudelaires. Who knows what could have happened had I not been close by? You could've easily been drowned or worse."
The man continued to chastise them for a few minutes more, which actually worked out quite well and gave the children time to get up on their feet and recover from their experience.
Finally, the evil twin of Count Olaf exhausted himself and then muttered, "Why were you down there?"
The siblings all knew that they couldn't exactly explain to their new guardian why they had been down in the sewers, nor what they found so instead they did something they hadn't done in some time.
The Baudelaires decided not to tell the truth. I write this with great emphasis, because it goes without saying that we cannot tell everyone every detail of our lives for this would be quite dull and our listeners might fall asleep from time to time or attempt to poison themselves so as to escape the boring conversation.
For if we did decide to tell every person we met every single detail we would likely not have that person as a friend for very long because most people do not enjoy having to be told something when they have had a different view up until that moment.
So oftentimes it is the case of necessity that we must choose to leave out certain things whenever someone asks us something, perhaps because we do not want to bore them to death or to wander in their thinking or to consider a line of work in bull fighting as a pleasant alternative.
Therefore, there are plenty of good reasons for the children to have chosen not to give Falo every detail of their experience in the passageway as well as to not tell him about the mysterious photo they found in their old home.
However, whether or not the Baudelaires made the right decision in choosing not to inform the evil twin of Count Olaf these simple facts cannot be certain. Much like every choice we make there are two differing outcomes and we have no idea where the other outcome would've led us because we already chosen one and it is obviously impossible to go back and to change our minds.
So there is no way of knowing where that other choice might've taken us and thus we have no way of knowing at this point whether or not telling Falo every detail about their trip to the former Baudelaire mansion would've been advantageous to the children or not. Instead, as I have already made a note of, the eldest Baudelaire looked at their new guardian and explained, "We were going for a leisurely stroll thru the hallway, and we fell into this open sewer hole."
Immediately Klaus added, "A noble volunteer working in the area must've accidentally closed up the grate, thinking there was no one down below."
Sunny nodded in agreement and commented, "We're so glad you found us and rescued us."
Their new guardian looked at them in surprise and then remarked, "How terrible, safety is one of the primary things here at V.F.D. Baudelaires, I am glad you brought this to my attention, it would appear much needs to be resolved about this matter. How dreadful that this happened, I had always told myself that these grates were completely safe but I suppose I was wrong. I guess nothing is safe around here anymore."
Although Falo chose not to add another phrase that the Baudelaire's all knew very well.
The phrase is known as "No thanks to you" and it had been used by their former guardian Count Olaf on occasions to remind the orphans how he really felt about them. I cannot say for sure whether or not the villain's evil twin felt similarly but he still disciplined the children almost as severely and perhaps in this case deserved the title of Count Olaf's evil twin.
"Well, you certainly do smell after having fallen down such an awful pit. I suggest you take a shower," Falo commented and then added, "In fact you should probably do so now before this afternoon, where we will be voting on the matter as to whether or not you are able to become members of V.F.D."
"Already?" Violet asked in surprise as she tried to ignore the smell of the wet clothes she was wearing.
"Did you want to delay it?" their new guardian wondered in confusion.
"No, but isn't it too soon?" Klaus wondered, as he too tried to hold his breath in order to refrain from being sick due to the horrid stench in the air coming from their garments.
"Is there any need for it to be later?" Falo countered to which Sunny replied, "I think what my brother is wondering… is how do we know whether or not we qualify to be members of V.F.D."
The evil twin of Count Olaf gazed at each of the Baudelaires for a moment before remarking, "What do you think it takes to be noble?"
Now, the question that Falo asked was not a simple one that could be answered with one word, or possibly even with a hundred words but quite likely a thousand word would prove sufficient, but then again how would you have known you had spoken exactly a thousand words unless you or a nearby friend who happened to be excellent at math was keeping count?
And since it is unlikely that you will use that many words in order to begin with, I feel it is safe to say that it would not take that many in order to explain what it takes to be noble.
During their adventures, the Baudelaires had met many people who claimed to have this attribute and some who actually did possess it. But they were few and far between and others also seemed to have an inkling which is a word here for "brief spite of nobility but then turned out to not help the Baudelaires after all."
As they considered Falo's question, perhaps they considered some of their noble guardians, such as Aunt Josephine and Uncle Monty or Dewey Denouement. Or they may have considered some of their close friends they respected and trusted, the Quagmires, or Hector, or Frank unless of course it turned out to be Ernest.
They may have thought about their parents, and how nobly they had shielded the children from the wickedness in the world, although it is difficult to say whether or not this was the proper thing to do considering the fact that now the Baudelaire's parents were dead and they were on their own and they had no way of knowing for sure what it took for a person to be considered noble.
So when Falo asked them what it took, perhaps Violet, Klaus and Sunny thought about all of the bravery that it had taken them to climb the slippery slopes of Mt. Fraught, or they may have considered the courage it took to hide as doctors at the Heimlich Hospital or the astounding feats they took to save Isadora and Duncan and the Village of Fowl Devotees
. But instead of answering with any of these noble acts, which in themselves would've probably been enough to be considered a noble person for a great deal of time, the Baudelaires must've reflected on some of the mistakes they'd made, such as trusting Esmé Squalor to help them rescue their friends, or thinking that they could save Jacque Snicket from a dangerous mob and then being unable to do so, or more recently helping Count Olaf burn down the Hotel Denouement and then being unable to assist Kit in giving birth to their now adopted sister Beatrice. Because as the seconds ticked by, the Baudelaires all felt very unsure of how to answer their newest guardian's question about what it took to be noble and so Violet replied sadly, "I'm not sure, I know the definition of the word. But I don't know what it takes to be considered such."
Falo didn't seem too pleased with this response but nodded silently before remarking, "Well you should find a way to clean up before the vote is cast, Baudelaires. I'll see you then."
And then without a care in the world, the evil twin of Count Olaf walked away from the children and they were once again alone. Violet, Klaus, Sunny and Beatrice all slowly trudged away from the opening to the passageway and back toward the supply closet. During their ordeal in the tunnel, the children had lost nearly all of the things they had brought with them and Klaus said, "I don't know where we go from here, we have nothing to help us take a shower and I really smell."
"There's some soap, and some shower curtains here," Sunny remarked as she looked inside the closet once more.
"And also some sponges we can use," Violet added.
"How will we dry our clothes?" Klaus asked.
"How will we get rid of this terrible odor?" Violet muttered.
"Do we even qualify to be part of this noble organization?" Sunny asked, bringing up the topic that Falo had just informed them about. "Sreati," Beatrice said softly which probably meant "I just wish we had a decent meal to eat and the volunteers would go off strike" or perhaps "So far I've not seen anything about V.F.D. that makes them noble."
Her siblings nodded in agreement and then Violet examined what little supplies they had left and began tying her hair up with a bow. And even though the bow and the rest of her clothes were sopping wet, her younger brother and sisters immediately understood that the eldest Baudelaire might have a solution to their predicament.
"Let's get these drapes back to the bus, I think I have an idea," Violet commented and then hauled one of them.
Sunny took the sponges and the soap and Klaus took the other shower drape and together the orphans walked outside to the parking lot where the abandoned school buses were sitting. The one the Baudelaires had turned into their makeshift home was leaning slightly and Violet used what little strength she had left to open the driver's door and climb inside.
She tried to open up the opposite door, but found doing so too difficult so instead she leaned down and allowed Sunny to pass the supplies to her and then finally Beatrice was given to the eldest Baudelaire. Klaus and Sunny then climbed into the dilapidated vehicle and Violet pointed toward the back of the bus.
"Bring those curtains here, Klaus," she told her younger brother. The middle Baudelaire followed the instruction of his sister without question, although it was clear he had no idea what Violet was up to.
Working as fast as she could, Violet stood on the seats in the very back of the bus and hung the drapes on the rungs that were sticking from the ceiling, possibly used for volunteers to hang coats and hats on.
Once she got the two drapes up, she instructed her siblings to help her pull them across the seats and once the three had accomplished this task, Violet smiled proudly at her work.
"It's a makeshift shower," Klaus proclaimed, clearly impressed with his sister's quick thinking.
"But how can you be sure it will rain?" Sunny asked in confusion as she tried very hard to feel ill as the stench from the grime in the sewer became more intense. "We'll just have to wait until it does," Violet proclaimed, and so the children sat there in the hot and rusting vehicle, hoping that the random storms which frequently disturbed them at night would chance upon them now.
They sat for a few hours and as they did, their clothes became wrinkled and misshapen and the smell they had picked up from their journey in the sewers grew stronger. But during this time, they took time to think and to ask one another about the meaning of the mysterious photograph they had found in the Baudelaire mansion and what significance it might have. Pulling it out of her knapsack, Violet was pleased to see that it hadn't been damaged too severely.
It was wrinkled now due to the water, but the four people standing in the picture could still be made out clearly.
Their parents, standing on the left, looked happy and content and possibly newly married and their enemies, Count Olaf and Mister Dominic; also looked pleased and gleeful perhaps happy of a new partnership between them.
"What do you suppose these words mean on the back of the photo?" Violet asked as she turned it over and frowned. The writing had become smeared, and even more impossible to read then before and her siblings looked at this in shock and became even more discouraged then before, if such a thing were actually possible.
"Now we'll never know what this means," Klaus lamented.
"I still say we should show this to Mister Dominic," Sunny argued. "He might lie to us, or attempt to do us harm again," Violet pointed out.
"But he may also help us," her younger brother countered.
"We have to do this on our own, that is how we have always solved things in the past. We've not needed anyone's assistance before," his older sister remarked.
"But we can't stay on our own forever," Klaus commented.
"Why not? Everyone we've come in contact with hasn't helped us," Violet said in frustration. "That's not true," Sunny said and then added, "What about the Quagmires? And Hector? And Justice Strauss? And the Incredibly Deadly Viper?"
"But they are all gone now," Violet said sadly, "We're on our own from now on."
This saddened each of the Baudelaires in different ways, as they thought about all that they had lost and how that their return to the mainland had not yet helped them to find out what had happened to their friends.
And I'm sorry to say that during this story they would still be unaware of a great many things, so if you are searching for an answer to such riddles I suggest you stop before that hope is hopelessly crushed.
"We could go to the archives here at the Very Fine Dwelling," Sunny suggested. "That'd be a wise idea, but we aren't allowed in there," Klaus pointed out. "But we still should try to find out more about this writing, it looks like it could be Spanish or maybe Latin," the youngest Baudelaire stated.
"Assani!" Beatrice complained, which probably meant something like "I still say we should focus on getting food," or perhaps "Why do I feel a trickle of water on my forehead?"
and as the siblings looked up they realized that it was lightly raining outside.
"Now is our chance," Violet said as she slipped the picture back into her knapsack and explained, "We should each take a shower, and clean up before the vote this afternoon."
"It doesn't matter anyways, Mister Dominic will see to it that we aren't made to be members of V.F.D.," Klaus commented.
"Maybe and perhaps he might have some other motive in mind, for all we know he might have been responsible for what happened this morning in the tunnels. Falo never told us that the water rises in the sewers, and it seemed like an odd thing for it to happen while we were exploring them," Violet stated.
"Nothing is certain anymore," the middle Baudelaire reiterated and then sighed as if to accept defeat and muttered, "All right, but we should give each other privacy, one of us can take a shower and the rest will stand at the front of the bus, all right?"
His sisters nodded in agreement and Violet stated, "I shall go first.
" It is here, that I will conclude the chapter, giving the Baudelaires exactly what they desired in this brief moment of solitude and that is a moment of privacy. Perhaps you feel that such would be necessary were you in the same situation as they were, and I know for a fact that I certainly would request it were it myself so I will close the chapter here and move on to the next dreadful event in the Baudelaire's lives.
