10.
They took it in turns to keep watch on her. Bhask was taking his turn when the sedative wore off. Jai woke slowly, then recognized where she was, and sat up with a jolt. Then she saw Bhask, guarding her, and then the window, nailed shut, and slumped.
"Hey," Bhask said, sitting up a little straighter, but Jai barely reacted. "It's alright. Dorsey's not going to hurt you. She's not like that."
Jai didn't even bother looking at him. She wandered what he wanted, what they all wanted with her. It didn't seem to be her body; Bhask looked at her, but like he hungered for knowledge: he was lost, looking for Maddy, searching for something that didn't exist.
"Jai, you have to believe us," he pressed, "For God's sake, Maddy trusted me-"
"Leave me alone," she muttered, curling up into a ball. She didn't want to talk about Maddy. She didn't want to talk about anything.
"I can't leave you alone. If you get out... where are you going to go?"
Home… she thought.
"I think you did the right thing. Chet…" He put his head in his hands. "I wish I could have done it."
"Maddy hated him too," she said finally, staring at the wall, trying to be glad she had killed him. For Maddy's sake.
But Bhask shook his head.
"She did, you know," Jai said softly, frowning at him.
"Jai, she was still seeing him!" Bhask replied, and she could see his eyes shining, trying to keep emotion at bay.
"No, she wasn't. Not like you think."
"How could you know," he muttered.
"You don't understand," she retorted, sick of him throwing her comfort back in her face, "You've grown up in la-la land. You have no idea what it's like in the real world."
"The Zone isn't the real world!" he exclaimed, staring at her incredulously, and sadly too.
"That's why you wouldn't understand," she muttered, "It was Maddy's real world. Chet rules there."
"Ruled," Bhask said.
"What?"
"You said rules. He's dead."
Jai absorbed this, then put her head on her knees "Go away."
"Jai," Bhask said softly, coming towards her. She didn't like softness. She didn't like him close to her.
"I want to see Jackson," she said hotly, then shouted, "Why can't I see Jackson?"
"Calm down!" he shouted back.
"What's going on," Alex said, coming in, quickly. Jai sat in silence, staring at the wall, as if she'd never spoken. Alex was a different kettle of fish. She knew he would not be so easily scared. She couldn't make him go away by shouting at him. And she didn't want to see what happened when he got angry. Jackson said he was psycho. Jackson…
"She wants to see Jackson," Bhask said finally. Alex sighed under his breath. Jai held back the tears that were pressing against her throat. He's dead, she thought, free falling into misery, he's dead…
"She's awake?" Flame asked, and Alex shifted to let her poke her head round the doorframe and see Jai sitting in the corner, staring intently at her patch of wall. "Dorsey, get in here," Flame called, going back to drag her into the room, as the boys vacated to the corridor to make room, "Tell her."
"You're such a Nazi," Dorsey muttered, shaking her free, "I'm not going to friggin hurt you, Jai. Just relax. Satisfied? Can I go now?"
Flame rolled her eyes in frustration, and Dorsey pushed past the boys in the corridor and returned to Yash and the TV, Flame trailing after her like a terrier.
"Bhask, the girls are going to watch a movie, you want to go join them?" Alex said, facing him from the opposite side of the corridor, where he was leaning on the wall, "I'll take over here."
"What does she want to see Jackson for," Bhask whispered, leaned against the wall, tapping the back of his head lightly on it, like trying to shake Jai out of it, "We're looking after her now." He knew Maddy would want him to look after her. But jai didn't want to be looked after.
"She loves him," Alex replied softly. "You can understand that, can't you."
Bhask looked away, and nodded. Alex nodded too, wishing he could say more, then went in and shut the door between them.
Jai watched him sit in the chair, slowly, thinking. She wondered vaguely how you pushed his psycho button. He didn't seem very psycho.
"Jackson's still in the Healing Centre," he said finally.
"He's alive?" she whispered.
"Yes."
She leaned back against the wall, tears of relief flowing down her cheeks. "Thank you," she murmured, feeling like she could breathe properly, freely, for the first time in days. She looked at Alex anew. He was big, but he didn't take advantage of it. He didn't try to intimidate her. He seemed to go out of his way to do the reverse.
"We can't take you to see him," he was saying, "Well, they're not letting anyone see him, but there's going to be a hearing. About Chet. They need to know where you are, til then. That's why we have to keep you here."
She drew her finger along the line of nails in the window pane, waiting for her tears to stop. "I don't like being locked up," she whispered.
Alex watched her unhappily, not liking it either.
"The others are going to watch a movie." He could see the light of interest in her eyes, though she looked steadily at the window. "I'd let you out if you promised not to try and run off."
"Ok," she said. Lightly. Easily. Too easily.
"You're lying aren't you," he muttered, running his hands through his hair in frustration. Jai couldn't help grimacing. She didn't particularly want to lie to him.
"Fine." Alex said, grabbing her wrists and hauling her up, though she stiffened in fear. "You're going to see this movie anyway. You can't just sit in here forever."
-
Flame had gone to get some more chips, and came back to find Alex lying behind Jai on her couch, Jai's wrists held carefully tightly in his hands. Despite her captivity, and her proximity to Dorsey on the couch opposite, Jai looked pretty much snug in his arms, and gazed at the screen avidly. Flame could hardly begrudge her a night out of her cell. Didn't mean she was happy about it though. She did an about turn and squeezed in behind Dorsey and Yash.
"Get your own seat," Dorsey murmured grumpily, still trying to watch the movie.
"Mine's been taken," Flame grumped back softly, and they both tried not to stare daggers at Jai and Alex.
"Where's Bhask?" Alex asked, taking a careful handful of chips.
"He went for a walk."
Alex raised his eyebrows: it was long dark. But he said nothing, hoping the night air would ease him, and he would come back calmer, happier, like the Bhask they had known before Maddy died; the one they saw all too little of these days. Having Jai in the house definitely wasn't helping with that.
The end credits rolled and Alex shifted his gaze to Jai's face. She was asleep, her head heavy on his arm. He carried her carefully back to her room and put her to bed.
"Jackson?" she murmured, waking up a little.
"No, it's Alex. Go back to sleep, Jai."
"Why am I so sleepy?" she whispered, turning over.
"You've been through a lot," he said, pulling the cover back over her shoulders.
"I want to see Jackson," she breathed, right on the edge of sleep.
"I know." He waited a moment, but she was deeply asleep, and he left her, locking the door behind him. Flame was waiting in the corridor outside.
"She's asleep," he said softly.
"Finally," she said, drawing him into her arms.
"Did you miss me?" he smiled.
"You're mine," she said determinedly, "I don't like sharing."
"Meanie. Don't you trust me?"
She grimaced, holding him closer. "It's her I don't trust. I worry that you'll be too polite to stop her. Like Blackheath."
"What??" he asked, grinning in incredulousness, pulling her away so he could see her face. She told him about Giulia. He was quiet for a long time, thinking.
"I'm not going to be too polite," he assured her finally, very seriously. But she only a little comforted; he had not said that he would never cheat on her.
