The crisp air of the Nevermore hit Raven like a ton of bricks as she stepped out of the portal, clad in nothing but a tank top and her shorts. Why hadn't she grabbed her cloak before coming here? She knew damn well what it was like in there.
Crossing her arms to try and stop the shivering of her body, she walked further into the darkened world. It was a twisted mess of staircases and hallways going in every which way; up, down, sideways, upside-down, forward, backwards. You name it. Luckily, it was her mind, and despite being a mess she knew exactly where everything led to.
At least she did in theory.
Quickening her pace, Raven darted down a particularly dark hallway, the only source of light coming from the odd lamp that hung from the ceiling. Her legs pumped faster and faster, trying to escape the cold as she knew only a few feet ahead was a much more tolerable part of the More. Sure enough after a few more moments of rushing, the hallway disappeared and she found herself in a large grassy field, surrounded by daisies and sunshine. The sun kissed her skin and finally she was comfortable enough to let her arms down.
"Raven!"
The loud squeal caused her to turn her head, only to see herself running at full speed towards her, only it wasn't herself. This Raven was dressed in a hot pink cloak, in complete contrast to her royal blue one back in her own world. This pink Raven was just a part of her subconscious, an emotion she had always tried hard to suppress.
Happiness.
When she was only a few feet away, Happy pounced at Raven, throwing her arms around her.
"Oh, we've missed you! We haven't seen you in so, so, so, so, so, so, so long!" she chimed, squeezing the purpled haired girl tightly. Raven pushed her away.
"Yeah, it's been a while. Look, I need to talk to-"
Happy cut her off, dancing around her in circles. "Well, you're here now and that's all that matters! Oh the others will be so excited that you came to play. We could have a tea party, or watch a movie, or-"
Raven thrust her index finger forward, brushing it against Happy's lips, shushing her. The spry girl went silent, her eyes crossing to try and look at the finger that was pressing against her mouth. Raven dropped her hand.
"Look, I'd love to stay and talk with you, but I really need to see Lust."
Happy blinked a few times, staring at her doppelganger before tilting her head to the side as though she were a dog who was trying to listen. "You...need to see...Lust?" she repeated hesitantly. She put her hands on her hips, dropping one leg and smiled. "Is this because of B.B?"
Raven wasn't surprised she knew, she was a part of her subconscious after all, but she still asked the question nonetheless. "How do you know?"
Happy giggled, one of her hands covering her mouth. "I'm you silly! He's been making you a little happier than usual, and I've noticed. It's my job after all."
Raven thought for a moment about her words. He hadn't really been making her happy...had he? She felt completely normal since they had started their fling. Perhaps she was a fan of the physical contact, something she had not expected in the slightest, but other than that she didn't necessarily feel happy. But she would not argue with Happy, if she said she was feeling that way, then there must have been some truth to it, though it wasn't nearly as apparent as the lust she had felt only minutes ago.
Happy reached out and grabbed Raven's hand, clumsily walking backwards and pulling her with her. "So, I'll take you to Lust. Oh, she's going to be so surprised to see you! Or...maybe she won't. Who knows?"
Raven allowed the gleeful emoticlone to pull her along the dirt path of the sunny world around them until a small wooden cabin came into view, a large dark forest nestled behind it. She let go of Raven's hand and began to skip up to the house, loudly pounding on the door when she got there. Raven stopped beside her.
"This the place?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she looked at the grim wooden frame. It was much less...glamorous than she had pictured. Happy "mm hmm'ed" at her, rocking back and forth from her heels to the balls of her feet. No one was answering the door.
"Maybe...she's somewhere else?" Raven suggested with a shrug after a moment. No sooner had the words left her mouth however, the door to the cabin opened just a crack, exposing a shadowy, half hidden face. One violent eye stared at the two visitors.
"Well, well, well..." she mused, her voice much like Raven's only dripping with seduction. "Look whose come crawling back."
"Hi Lust!" Happy chimed. Lust said nothing in response and shut the door, leaving both Happy and Raven in confusion. "Oh..."
Raven waited, listening carefully. She could hear rustling from the other side of the door.
"You can come in." Lust called after a moment, her voice muffled. Raven waited for a moment longer before reaching for the doorknob, twisting it and pushing the door open. Her jaw dropped.
Here was the glam she was looking for.
The whole inside of the cabin, which looked much bigger inside than it had outside, was decked out to the nines with sweet smelling candles and dimmed, mood setting lights. A large, purple heart shaped bed sat on the far side, surrounded posh velvet furniture, The left hand side of the room was occupied by a small kitchen with a beautiful glass table, and on the right hand side was a large, amethyst bathtub, overflowing with bubbles.
Lust was sashaying towards them from her bed, dressed in nothing but a purple, fluffy bathrobe, her purple hair dripping. Clearly they had disturbed her washing time.
"Sorry," she said, plopping down on her lilac, velvet loveseat. "You caught me in the middle of a bath. Had to cool down from earlier." She winked at Raven, causing her to blush. "Please, have a seat."
Happy immediately dashed for the chair that sat parallel to the loveseat. "Wow, Lust, this place is so pretty! How come you've never invited us here?" she asked, her gaze wildly looking around the room. Lust smiled.
"I'm a bit of an introvert, unless convinced otherwise." Again she turned her gaze to Raven who was still standing at the door, arms crossed. "Raven darling, please, sit down."
"No thanks, I'll stand." Raven mumbled, walking towards them before coming to a stop. "I have some questions."
Lust propped her elbow up on the side of the loveseat and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "Let me guess, this is about Garfield."
Garfield.
Raven had rarely ever used Beast Boy's actual name, in fact throughout the seven years they had known each other she could literally count the amount of times she had used it on one hand. Not that she didn't like it, but it just felt so...strange to use the Titans real names.
Unnatural.
"Judging by your lack of response, I'm going to take that as a yes." Lust snickered. "What is it you want to know, dear?"
Raven pursed her lips, slightly annoyed at Lust's attitude. God she was glad she surprised her and didn't act like this herself. "I want to know your intentions with Beast Boy. Or...I guess...my intentions?" she shook her head. "I want to know if what I feel for him is real, or if it's just-"
"Lust." Lust interrupted, her full lips pulling in an almost sinister smile. Raven narrowed her eyes. "Yes."
Happy stayed quiet but looked back and forth from one Raven to the other, a mix of both confusion and amusement plastered to her face.
"So which is it?"
Lust leaned forward, taking hold of a tall, filled Champaign glass that was sitting on the coffee table in front of her. "Oh, well darling I can't say for sure." She took a sip of the drink. "That's something you have to decide. I'm just one part of subconscious, not the whole shebang. All I can tell you is that you lust for that boy something fierce. But who could blame you...it's been nineteen years of chastity, you poor thing."
Raven's eye twitched with annoyance as Lust took another sip. She tried her best to swallow her anger though. "But do I want him just because it's been nineteen years...or because I actually have some sort of feelings for him?"
"I told you earlier, he does make you happy." Happy finally chirped, bringing her feet up onto the chair and crossing her legs.
"And you do lust for him." Lust said, crossing her legs and allowing her robe to hike up her thighs, almost exposing the side of her rear-end. "That's all we can tell you. How does Raven feel? You may not be in control of your emotions, darling, but only you can read all of them simultaneously."
Raven gave dropped to the floor as she thought about Lust's words. "But how am I supposed to do that? I'm not used to all of these feelings..."
"Maybe instead of locking us away all those years ago, you should have been trying to learn how to control us. Every time you are with him physically, I feel like a tiger trying to break free from its cage. I can't come and go easily as I should be able to. It's difficult for me, I can only imagine how it is for you."
"Me too, it always hurts a little bit when you feel happy...like people are pulling me in two different directions." Happy pulled at her cheeks, stretching them to the sides before letting them go, red marks appearing where her fingers had grabbed. Raven lowered her arms.
"Well, I didn't...so now what I am supposed to do? I have no idea what I'm doing...I can't differentiate between my feelings. I'm not sure if I ever will be able to and it's not fair...especially for him."
Lust and Happy both stared at Raven for a moment. Lust took a breath and unfolded her legs. She leaned forward and put her glass back on the table, reaching for the bottle this time. With a flick of her writs two more glasses appeared before her and she quickly poured the liquid into them.
"Champagne?" she asked, lifting one of the glasses towards Raven. Raven just stared at it blankly. "Come on, stay for a while and we can try and figure something out."
Happy grabbed her own glass and quickly chugged the whole glass, licking her lips. Raven sighed. She was tired, she wanted to go back to bed and she most definitely didn't want to drink.
"No thanks. I shouldn't have come here...I'll figure it out on my own." She said turning on her heels. Happy quickly grabbed the glass out of Lust's hand and downed that one as well. Lust narrowed her eyes at her before turning back to Raven who was opening the door. She stood up, her robe falling back to its normal length on her legs.
"Well, if you ever need someone to talk to," she suggested. Raven stepped outside.
"Yeah...thanks." and with that she shut the door behind her. On her way back to the portal she felt like screaming. It had been a waste of time coming here, she had learned nothing and if anything, her emoticlones had just made her feel worse about the situation. She knew they were ultimately right, she was the only one who could answer her own questions, but she didn't know how. She thought back to the time with Malchior. The one other person who she had thought she had liked romantically, realising afterward that she had been a fool. He had manipulated her to get what he wanted, and she believed every word he had said, every feeling she had felt.
Or thought she had felt.
Since that time she had realized that she had only liked Malchior because he was the first person to show interest in her, and they just so happened to have many things in common. She was infatuated with the idea of someone loving her, someone who she could relate to and feel normal with. With Beast Boy it was different. They were different. But the relationship they had was real; they really were friends and they truly did care about one another. Beast Boy would never do anything to hurt her like Malchior had done. That was why she needed to figure out her own shit, because the further they got into this, the more she worried he would only end up getting hurt. And that was the last thing she wanted to do.
Next chapter up so soon! I'm in a writing mood lately, which is great for you guys I suppose. :) Please leave a review, anything is appreciated even suggestions!
