Chapter 11

APOV

Christian leave his bedroom. I head to the bathroom and fix my hair and straighten the clothes he's given me. I look at myself in the mirror, my face is red and blotchy where I had been crying. Oh Ana why are you so afraid. I splash my face with cold water to try and get rid of the red blotches. I look at myself one last time in the mirror.. what a mess I am but it will have to do. I pick up my phone and give josh a call but his phone when to voicemail. "Hi Dad it's just me Ana, I'm at a friends house and I'm not sure what time I'll be back, I have my keys. Don't wait up, love you" I hang up he phone and put it in my pocket.

I head for the door and make my way to the living room. Christian isn't here. I take a look around the living room, the walls are a off cream colour and the carpet is also cream. There's a beautiful fire place I bet it's lovely in the winter to curl up by it. To curl up by the fireplace with Christian would be lovely, what's even going on with us, he wants me but not now; why not

I sigh.

I look up and Christian has just walked into the room.

"Ana is everything okay?" He rushes to my side, I shrug "I need to tell you something Christian" oh Ana are you really going to tell him about the stupid nightmares.

"Anastasia you can tell me anything, please don't be afraid to talk to me" Christian puts his hand around my waist and pulls me closer "would you like a drink?" "Um water, a glass of water please" Christian leaves the room. I start to panic. What if he doesn't understand. Christian returns back to the room and hands me the glass of water. "Thank you" he gestures for me to sit on the sofa, I take a seat and he sits next to me. Christian takes my hand "Ana relax" I look at him, he's got such kind eyes. "Christian my nightmares, I need to tell you about them" I let go of Christians hand and start to fidget. "Ana please, say what you need to say I'm not going to judge you" oh I really hope he means that. "My nightmares are sometimes about you" he looks at me and sadness fills his eyes. "Why me Anastasia" he voice is small and wounded "Christian, I know we haven't known each other long but I feel this sort of connection to you, I find it impossible to leave you alone or get you out of my head" I take a sip of my water, he sits there and looks at me blankly. "What happens in the nightmares Anastasia" I look down at my hands "usually they start happy, we're both into each other then you go away for a few weeks and come back with another woman" a tear falls upon my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. "You come back to me and tell me you don't know why you bothered with me and I'm useless" by this point tears are running down my face and I can't stop them. We sit in silence for what seams to be forever. Christian pulls me into his arms "Anastasia, please don't be upset, i feel this connection too, it's been confusing me for weeks and to see you get injured today really hit me and made me realise I want to take care of you" I rest my head in Christians chest, he smells so good. I could say in his arms forever "Anastasia, what about the other nightmares?" Shit I can't tell him about the flash backs I have. "Umm" dam Ana breath you'll make yourself have a panic attack. Just tell the man, he's not going to run, he actually cares about you, my inner judge is take over and giving her input. "Ana it's okay if you don't want to talk about them" he gives me a sympathetic smile. "No Christian, I will tell you. I've let this haunt me for too long" Christian turns pale. He's breathing has become heavy. "Anastasia, what is it?" The look of sheer panic crosses his face. "My last partner..." i hesitate and close my eyes. "My ex boyfriend... would.. would lock me in his apartment for days at a time and abuse me" Christian stands up quickly and starts pacing back and forth. "What the fuck Ana, this is so fucked up, why didn't you tell me" he's mad but why is he shouting at me. I bring my knees into my chest and hug them tight. He runs his hand through his hair. "Where Dose the little shit live Anastasia" Ana why did you tell him, I rock back and forth. I can't tell him where Zack lives. "Anastasia answer my god dam question" his shouts at me. I can't hold back any longer, I stand up so We're face to face "Christian stop shouting at me, I'm the victim here. You wanted to know what my nightmares are about and this is your reaction" i shout at him, I'm so angry and upset with him. Tears stream down my face. Christian walks towards me and takes my hand but I pull away. "Don't touch me Christian, I'm angry with you" he takes a step back in disbelief. "How can you shout at me like that when I just told you I was abused" He picks up my glass of water and chucks it at the wall above the fireplace. It shatters into millions of pieces and makes me jump. "I'm mad with him Anastasia, you won't tell me where or who he is? How am I supposed to protect you? The fucker shouldn't be walking the streets he should be rotting in a cell" I sink to the floor and curl into a ball. It's too much, I can't take it anymore, I can't breath. My head hurts. My mouth is dry. I feel sick. There's no escape.