Chibi: We don't own Naruto and stuff, biatch. Hey, Noodle, when are we gonna post our new fic, "TALKSHOW"? I know we have already done one VERY FUNNY RANDOM chap, but shall we post soon? STAY TUNED FOLKS!
Noodle: Nearly 100 reviews just one off J Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I will look at your fics, I promise just a bit busy at the moment (exams soon -.-) Anyways it's another chap like the snail race. Yeah we are working on another fic, it's more random and stupid than this one.
On a cold Sunday morning in the Hyuuga main house's front yard, a shadow moves silently through the mist. Another slips after the first.
Meanwhile, Hinata is making a nice cuppa for herself. She glances out of the window casually, and through sleepy eyes she does not notice the moving shadows in the mist of the front yard. The now muffled military like commands echoing around the yard were unheard, too. If someone was watching form the back of the Hyuuga main house, they would have noticed a large group of people clutching bundles of brooms, mops and suchlike scurry out of the back door. They run mission impossible style to the side of the house, where they wait, in ambush.
Suddenly, the mist clears. For a moment, the two families of the Hyuuga clan stare at each other in silence. Someone coughs at the back, and the spell is broken. With an almighty scream, both sides charge, waving brooms wildly.
These nobles fight really dirty, a lot of pinching, hair pulling and kicking in sensitive places. Over here, we see one pair of broom crazed ninjas do some kendo - type fighting with the handle ends of their brooms, then, when one shows an opening; he has a face full of bristles. Another two are scratching each other with the bristly ends, when one jumps on top of the other's head and begins pulling out his hair. And so on. This continues for about ten minutes. Until the branch house unveil their weapon of dooooom and zoooom! A HOOVER! Finding it hard to lift it up they just suck Hanabi up.
Tsunade, hiding under a bush with fourteen big hairy samurai repo-men, nods to the leader of the repo samurai with the warning "They can smell fear!"
The fourteen samurai quickly begin disarming the crazed Hyuugas, gathering all the brooms up in a big heap. Hearing the commotion at last, Hinata comes running to see what's going on. In her sleepy state, running isn't that great an idea, so she slips on her Barbie dressing gown and knocks herself out cold.
By the time the samurai have finished repossessing all the brooms, all that remains is carnage, and a couple of Hyuugas clawing desperately at the samurai's ankles, begging them to let them have their precious brooms back. Tsunade smiles, still under the bush, pulls out a bottle of sake and mutters "Time for celebration, I got rid of half of my debt with those brooms and kicked the Hyuugas' asses." She promptly takes a big, contented swig, still enjoying watching the injured nobles crawling after the repo men.
Yamato, alone because Kakashi hasn't arrived yet, is also on patrol. Seen as the repo-samurai are taking care of the Vaseline eyed maniacs, known as the hyuuga's, he decides to play with himself. Chess that is ( ). Mokuton style.
Hours later, at noon, Neji is pacing the main house front yard, which is now clear of any bodies (they all went back home for a nice radox bath). He has a huge bundle of brooms, super brooms and three mops in a big bag on his back, which makes him stop a little. Coupled with his crazy eyes, messy hair and sleep-deprived, faraway look, he is a little scary. His current state is because of how excited he has been about the broom fight, he hasn't bothered to brush his hair in days!
Inside the main house, Hinata wakes up to see lots of her family bloodied up, unconscious or bandaged, their pretty long hairdos all messed up, and only half attached to their heads and full of broom twigs. She sighs , and gets a broom to go and clean up.
When she steps outside, a shadow falls on her.
"AHA! AT LAST, YOU MAIN HOUSE WUSSES SHOW UP! Only one? So pathetically armed? PHAH!" Neji screams, hands on hips and a triumphant gleam in his bedraggled hair. Hinata starts, and before she can even say anything, Neji whips out a super broom and attacks her, screaming
"BROOOMS! DIE MAIN HOUSE SCUM!"
Neji lands a hit right on her face, bristle end and all. Hinata squeaks in pain, kicks him in the nuts and runs inside, scared out of her wits. Neji gets back up surprisingly quickly, and runs after her. Hinata gets to the door first, and slams it in his face. He stands there, clawing at the door for a while. He sighs. Time for plan B. If no one would fight him, he would have to do the Special Branch House War Dance for now.
He gets into a starting position, and begins.
"HEEEEEYYY MACARENA!" he cries, shaking his bum and flicking his long hair back in time to his singing.
"When
I dance they call me Macarena
and the boys they say that I'm
buena
DIE MAIN HOUSE!DIE! DIE MAIN HOUSE! DIE!
So they all
come and dance beside me
move with me jam with me
and if
you're good I take you home with me
A la tuhuelpa legria
macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
A la tuhuelpa
legria
MACARENA!
HEEY MACARENA!
A-hai
Now
don't you worry ´bout THE MAIN HOUSE
THE HOUSE THAT
SMELLS AND EATS DOG POO
We don't like 'em, ´cause THEY
SMELL
they were no good so WE BEAT THEM ALL AND THEY DIED!
HAHAHAHA!
A
la tuhuelpa legria macarena
Que tuhuelce paralla legria cosabuena
A la tuhuelpa legria
MACARENA! HEEY MACARENA!"
Neji sings and sings and sings and sings and sings and sings……
Gai-sensei is cartwheeling along, when he hears the beautiful music. He follows the hypnotic sound, and sees Neji is singing and dancing.
"NEJI!" Gai squeals, "You have embraced the springtime of youth at last! Well done, my boy!"
Gai backflips over the fence to his pupil, and starts trying to join in Neji's dance of war. He jumps up and down and waves his socks around. Neji tuts, and stops.
"No, like this." He begins again, this time slower. Gradually Gai catches on, and Neji smiles. Gai calls Lee and Tenten using his dog whistle. Soon, all of them are dancing and even trying to join in on the chorus of "HEEY MACARENA!". Lee is singing higher than usual, and he keeps sitting down, and changing an ice pack in his pants for a fresh one out of the little portable freezer he has hidden in his hat.
As the sun begins to set, the gang are still dancing, with a few more dancers in their group. Tsunade and Jiraiya, dancing around a big pile of empty bottles and linking arms, a couple of the samurai repo men, pogoing to the catchy beat , Sasuke, trying to sing along with his own lyrics of "DIE ITACHI!", Sakura, looking angry and confused at Sasuke, four ladies in black and red cloudy dresses with "HSO" badges pinned on their foreheads, throwing Naruto's sleepy hat to each other as he desperately tries to catch it. They all giggle like girls until Zetsu falls back and gets consumed by a hedge, he falls asleep. And for some reason an old lady with purple eye make up and long black hair who was waving two bags of chicken shapes round her head…. all dancing along to Neji's song. Inside the very empty broom cupboard, Hinata sits, shivering, and jumping every time the shout of "HEEY MACARENA!" resounds.
Kabuto arrives, very out of breath. The old lady hides under her own skirt, making bird noises and spinning round in circles. A few frozen chicken shapes fall out of her skirt.
"Orochi-hime!" Kabuto calls out. "Please come back, it's bath time! The bubbles will all be gone!"
A panic stricken scream comes from under the old lady's skirt. The old lady runs into the fence, falls over, and doesn't move after that. Kabuto runs over to her, grumbling. He picks up her legs and drags her away in an unknown direction. Before he can go out of site, a wave of sand hits Kabuto and the old lady, and an eyebrowless stranger in a cow patterned cape does a flying dropkick at them, screaming
"MOOOO! THE COWZEKAGE ROCKS! MOOO!"
The stranger then waves a pair of knickers in the air in triumph. Sakura sees him, and cracks her knuckles in that scary way.
Kakashi, leading a cow that was chewing a small tree branch, stops on the road. He ties the cow up to the gatepost. The masked stranger runs past them, followed closely by Sakura, and yells
"HELP ME, UDDERED COMRADE!"
"Stay,
Garfield!" Kakashi says, and walks slowly up the drive. He calls
out to the dancers
"Hey, I thought I'd stop by and say no
thanks to that broom thing, I hope I'm not late!"
Later
that night Neji was sat in his bedroom, 11.30pm. Only half an hour
until her turns back in HMPF mode. On his hello kitty dressing table
lies some puppets, a grin appears on his scratched face. He puts the
puppets on and starts the show.
Cat puppet: Alles Klar?
Dog
puppet: Wie Geht's?
Cat puppet: Mir geht's schlecht
Dog
puppet: Was ist los?
Cat puppet: Ich habe schnupfen L
Dog
puppet: Seit wann?
Cat puppet: Seit drei tagen!
Dog puppet: Wie
oft gehst du schwimmen?
Cat puppet: jedan tag
Dog puppet: Bleib
in bett
Cat puppet: Ich gehe ins Bett um viertel nach acht!
Dog
puppet: Ich nicht gern schnupfen.
Cat puppet: Wass isst du
gern?
Dog puppet: Ich esse gern katze !
And with that the dog
ate the cat. Neji got into bed and tomorrow he would return to a
normal sulky state……or would he? And how does he know German?………
Chibi: WOOO! I had so much fun writing the draft for this! BUT! We had more fun writing the talkshow! (I hope shameless advertising works wonders….)
Noodle: If you can understand any of that puppet stuff you'll know 1. It makes no sense at all. 2. My German's shite.
Return
of the spellchecker! "Hyuugas" is "hugs"! Aww!
Next
should be Sakura, she'll most likely be the last one. We think.
