Remus loves the Hellenistic Period. He lets his imagination run off with Professor Binns' voice, joining the gifted alchemists of Alexandria in their underground laboratories filled with the dark smoke of discovery. This is proving to be more difficult than usual, however, while his chair is being repeatedly kicked by one James Potter.

"Oy. Moony," says a whisper from directly behind him.

Kick. Kick.

Remus' quill scratches eagerly without his effort. A Muggle who called himself Thrice-Great Hermes presented himself as the most knowledgable alchemist in the world after his apprentice, a young wizard, tried to explain why the experiments worked when the boy touched them.

Kick. Kick. Kick kick kick.

"Remus. Reeeemus. Moony."

Believing in his own genius, the Muggle man composed a book of alchemical philosophy. It was, of course, all nonsense.

"MOONY."

KICK-KICK-KICK-KICK.

Remus refuses to turn around. "What?" he hisses.

"This is so boring," says James in a stage whisper by his ear.

"Bother Sirius and Peter." The emperor, fearing the power of the magical population, ordered many alchemical texts to be burned. This did not have the desired effect, however, as the real wizards and witches seldom called much attention to themselves and mostly only Muggle texts were destroyed.

"They're...indisposed."

Remus gives up and turns around in his chair. Sure enough, on both sides of James was a head upon a desk, one sandy blonde and the other glossy black. The black one was emitting soft snores.

"Pay attention, then."

"P-payattention? Me?" James voice has gone well past a whisper at this point. The day that Professor Binns notices the activities occurring in the back of his classroom is the day that Sirius vows to never again scream "FIRE!" outside of the first years' dormitory. "I don't need this rubbish! You're the smart one, that's your game. I get by on charisma."

"I won't be for much longer if you don't let me take notes." Pythagoreanism, Platonism, Stoicism, Gnosticism...

The kicking commences once again. "Moony. Moony Moony Moony. Remus. RemusRemusRemus. Remuuuus."

He offers apologetic glances to Alice on his left and to Imogen on his right and tries to catch up in his notes.

"OY! MOONY!"

Across the room, the only other attentive teenage head in the room whips around.

"Potter," he snarls, "kindly close your mouth before I hex it shut."

James flicks his hair back from his eyes, looking like his birthday has come early. "Right then, Snivellus. Go on. Hex me. See what your girlfriend says. Probably something about 'sinking to my level', eh, Evans?"

Remus feels a rush of sympathy for Lily as he sees her shoulders tense, the only Gryffindor on her side of the classroom. Severus flushes brilliantly red beside her. "Not my-...shut up, you-you arrogant-"

James' snort of laughter jerks upright the black head at his side. Sirius snuffles sleepily, his fringe defying gravity as he sniffs out the scent of mischief in the air. "Whaddahmiss?" He blinks in Peter's direction and slams a hand on the desk in front of him. "Up an' at 'em, Petey." Peter jolts awake as if electrocuted.

Surrounding students have roused themselves from daydreams to watch. Remus silently wills Professor Binns to notice the impending doom.

"Yeah, 'course you won't. Can't risk getting your hands dirty, can you? You might as well, mate, the rest of you's pretty grimy anyway." Someone nearby giggles.

Severus nearly falls over in his chair. "Don't try to say I'm some kind of coward just because I don't- I don't-" He sputters incoherently. "You and those three, thinking you're charge of everything- lurking around the school at night, out marauding on the grounds-"

"We maraud, do we, Snivelly?" Sirius jeers. "That's a new one, boys. I rather like it." Peter snickers.

Remus tries desperately to listen about the Alexandria Warlocks' Riot, but to no avail. Something icy had slithered into his chest at the boy's remark about "marauding on the grounds" at night- it's just a bit too close to the truth. He wishes James would shut up; he turns into such a prat around Severus Snape. A bigger one than usual, anyway.

"Weeeell, that's sure a lovely vocabulary you've got there." James tips back on two chair legs. "You're still a great slithery grease stain, though. Too bad."

Lily is hunched over her parchment, glaring at her notes. "James, I'm trying to take notes, please shut UP," Remus mumbles.

"Come on. Someone's gotta tell Snivelly to keep his beak out of everyone else's business." Most of the class is now turned toward James, waiting to see the sparks fly. Professor Binns, however, continues to soliloquize to the blackboard. Remus wonders if it's possible for ghosts to be deaf.

"You really should quiet down a bit. Binns will notice one of these days."

"Not likely."

"But-"

"Moony, shush," Sirius says as he aims a wad of parchment at Severus' head. Remus' protests dry up in his throat and he returns to his notes.