Heterochromia Iridum

I was actually extremely nervous to post that last chapter and avoided looking at reviews for a while. No idea why, just shocked that it was received so well. I've never written anything before a couple months ago, so every time someone reviews or favourites this, it's nuts to me.

Thanks to jomoisbae81, addicted2memories, ElectroGirl444, fangirl0012345, jamielynn25, LeAnn388, sillygabby, Steph, JenTen, and Bactrian Camel. Thank you to everyone else that's new here for reading or adding this story to your alerts. It means a lot.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Walking Dead or any of the characters associated with the franchise. I own the plot to this story and any original characters you may see, like Katty or Calum.


Chapter 11: Time

She was still sat outside, in the grass and in the dark, for hours. Or it had felt like hours. In actuality, it had only been a few minutes before she heard the soft sound of feet pressing into grass as someone neared her. Katty guessed who it was before they reached her spot beside the tree.

"Hey, Rick."

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked, his voice lower and quieter than what hers had been, like he was trying not to scare her off.

Katty wondered why he didn't sound angry, and stiffened some when he stopped and stood beside her so that he was in her line of sight. She had guessed it was Rick for a simple reason.

"You're a cop, aren't you? Kind of your job."

Rick was silent for a while, and again, Katty wondered if it had been minutes or just seconds. Whichever it was, it had been enough time for Rick to decide to sit in the grass next to her. Katty noticed he still kept his distance from her, and moved almost purposefully slow. She bit the inside of her cheeks to stop the scowl from appearing on her face. I'm not a fucking deer, she thought.

"You're not a job, Katty," Rick's voice may have been earnest, but it didn't take Katty a second glance to see the apprehension on his face. She also didn't need to remind herself that she hadn't been here that long, and couldn't possibly mean that much to any of them.

"Everyone's really worried," he continued when Katty didn't respond. Rick sounded genuine, and the low tone of his voice only amplified that. It tugged at her heart strings, hearing that. She could feel the familiar but unwelcome burn behind her eyes.

"I didn't mean to say that to Glenn," she mumbled quietly, and her hands started to fidget. Katty busied her hands by ripping out the bits of grass at her feet.

"He knows," Rick reassured her, but it only made Katty's lip tremble more. "We all know you didn't mean it."

Her lungs betrayed her and forced a sob out of her mouth. "Why am I such a fuck up, Rick?"

She felt like a child, sitting there in the dirt and crying. They had come out to look for her, even though she had been a bitch. And Katty was still planning on leaving them. She hadn't done much besides cause discord and frustration wherever she went, and Katty was tired of it. After she went to the warehouse tomorrow, she would be gone. Hopefully she could vanish before Daryl and Aaron got back, she could feel the guilt coating and filling her stomach like stones.

The rustling beside her barely registered in Katty's cloudy brain, and then she was being tugged towards him. Katty's head pressed into Rick's chest, and he loosely slung an arm around her shoulders.

"You're alright, Katty," His chest vibrated slightly as he spoke. "And if you're not, then we'll make sure you will be."

This brought on a fresh set of tears, once she had gotten over the shock of Rick half-hugging her, and Katty cried harder than before. This was why she needed to make sure she was at the warehouse tomorrow. She had to make sure her friends made it out, even if she didn't come back with them.

He was silent, which Katty was thankful for. She was still sobering up, and it was difficult to concentrate on more than her too full mind. Rick didn't move his arm from her, and was patient while she cried and wiped her nose on his shirt. His breath pattern was steady, and she wouldn't admit it out loud, but it helped calm her down some.

"Ready to go back and talk about it?" Rick asked, and the gentle tone didn't suit him. Katty wondered what he had been like before the world ended. He had probably been a good father, before the world had ripped away his son's innocence.

Katty sighed and sat up, Rick's arm dropping from her back. "There's nothing to talk about," she muttered, the bitter tone encasing her words. Katty rubbed at her eyes to avoid looking at him.

Rick mirrored her sigh and ran a hand through his hair before he leaned forward, forcing Katty to hold his eye contact.

"You left a knife in Michonne's room after you changed clothes," Rick said while he fixed her with a level stare. Katty opened her mouth to reply, but he cut her off. "It's not yours, Katty, don't bother saying that." She paused, before complying and shutting her mouth.

Katty couldn't think of a plausible excuse or story, especially under Rick's intense stare, and sighed. "Well, then we should probably get back before Deanna comes to find me."

She had thought about this before Rick had arrived. Deanna would undoubtedly discover her son's bruised and swollen face, and it wouldn't take her long to confront Katty. Unless Aiden found the perfect excuse, which was doubtful.

Rick looked at her briefly before rubbing his temples, his thumb and middle finger on either side of his forehead. "I think it's starting to piece together. Let's go," He looked tired already, and Katty inwardly cringed, feeling guilty that he would have to deal with this with her. The other man held out a hand to help Katty up, and she swayed slightly on her feet. The world wasn't spinning as much as before, but she was still feeling the effects of the night.

She tripped a few times on the walk back, and Rick finally let out a short laugh and put a hand on her elbow.

"No wonder Daryl had to walk you home last time," he mumbled, and Katty thought it sounded more like he was talking to himself than her.

"At least he's not here to see me," Katty muttered back dryly. That would have just been icing on the cake.

"Well," Rick started, his hand still steadying her as they walked. "I'd still probably be tryin' to calm Daryl down if he was here. He'd flip if he saw you like that."

Katty almost smiled, but couldn't when she remembered that she'd be long gone before he got back. She would definitely miss Daryl; a lot more than he'd ever think of her.

They approached the house and Katty felt the ball of anxiety and tension in the pit of her stomach roll around and grow. What were the faces that greeted her going to look like? Without asking, Rick walked slower and made sure she got up the stairs without a fatality. Even now, she was a burden, Katty thought morosely.

The sight that greeted her made whatever monster was growing in her stomach simmer and die. It wasn't awkward, the air wasn't filled with resentment or anger, there was no tension on anyone's faces. Glenn and Maggie sat at the island, leaning into each other and talking. Michonne was laying on the couch, and seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with the aforementioned couple. Carol was stirring something in a cup, and looked up when the two of them entered the house.

"I made you tea, sweetie," Carol called, and walked the cup over to the dining room table. Rick gave her an encouraging, small smile and inclined his head towards the table.

Katty made her way over, surprised when Glenn and Maggie both offered her a smile.

"Sorry, Glenn," Katty said, chewing her lip nervously. Glenn offered her a reassuring smile.

"No, it's fine, I shouldn't have –"

Maggie let out a groan, "Glenn? Sorry Glenn? What about my shirt?" she let out a drunk laugh before she finished her sentence, which deflated the effect of her fake anger.

Katty snorted in response, her mood momentarily lightening. "You should thank me for ruining that thing, ugh."

Maggie sent her a rude gesture that Glenn laughed at, and Katty couldn't help the small smile that escaped her. Maggie should drink more often.

"I don't want to interrupt, but we need to talk about some things," Rick cleared his throat. The twang that shone through at the word 'things' made Katty smirk. It immediately dropped when Michonne put the knife on the dining room table in front of her. "Especially if Deanna is on her way," he added as an afterthought.

"Deanna?" Glenn asked, sounding confused. His eyebrows raised as the obvious next thought popped into his mind. "Was it Aiden?"

The look on Katty's face gave it away before she could voice the confirmation.

Glenn's eyes skimmed over the side of Katty's face and down to her neck, and she looked away. If only she had gone to her house instead of barging in here.

"I'm so sorry, we should have waited for you instead of leaving, Katty," he said, and the apology rang in her ears in an odd, disjointed way. He had nothing to apologize for, and she furrowed her brows at him, confused.

"It's not your job to protect me, any of you," Katty explained, looking around to everyone. She didn't need bodyguards, she didn't need them worrying about her, and she definitely didn't need to be a burden.

"Yes, it is," Maggie snapped. "It's what family does." Her tone suggested how stupid she thought Katty was. The word made Katty flinch and all the snappy comebacks that she would have normally had drained from her brain. All she could do was stare at them, Glenn and Maggie both looked at her with a 'well duh' kind of expression. Carol smiled encouragingly at her from behind them. Michonne stood nearby, looking serious, but she emulated a pillar of strength and support that was duly needed. Katty felt tears well up in her eyes again.

Rick cleared his throat, probably noticing the unshed tears threatening to spill again. The noise caught her attention and distracted her from the oddly sentimental moment as well as her waterworks, luckily.

"Katty, why don't you start from the beginning?" Rick suggested, evidently wanting to get started.

She hesitated and considered what details to skim over or omit. Even though it hadn't been that long ago, the entire encounter felt rushed and jumbled in her mind. It probably wouldn't take much for her to mess up the particulars. She knew the general outline of the night, but it had gone by fast and she was now tired.

Katty opened her mouth to start, just as a knock sounded at the front door. The physiological response was immediate, and Katty's stomach churned and clenched simultaneously as her heart rate spiked. The knock, though it had been of a typical, normal sound pattern and volume, sounded like a demolition team tearing down a building. Michonne's quick steps to the door felt like a life sentence; they dragged on and on.

"Good evening, Deanna," Michonne greeted calmly and evenly. Katty's stomach dropped at the confirmation, and her mind tried to run through different scenarios and piece together how this confrontation was going to play out.

"Katty wasn't at home; I trust she's here?" Katty tried to listen for the edge in Deanna's voice, the threatening undertone, but found none. Deanna had once mentioned that she was good at poker, at reading people. Katty wished she wasn't.

Michonne glanced over her shoulder briefly at Rick, who Katty saw nod once. She noticed he had strategically placed himself in between the doorway and Katty, but didn't block Deanna's view of her. He looked ready to step in if needed, and Katty hoped he wouldn't. She was probably going to get kicked out anyways, she didn't need the guilt of being responsible for Rick's dismissal as well.

Deanna stepped into the home and past Michonne, he eyes immediately zoning in on Katty's position at the dining table. Katty twisted her form in the chair so that she was sitting sideways on the chair, fully facing the former politician.

"Hullo," she greeted dully as Deanna remained silent, taking in Katty's own appearance. She wasn't looking forward to seeing herself in the mirror later. Her face still throbbed every few seconds, more so when she clenched her jaw. She would need to clean the cut on her throat too, she mused to herself.

Deanna slowly walked forward, and looked like she was contemplating how to start the conversation.

"Is there a particular reason why whenever Aiden is hurt, it leads back to you?" she finally asked calmly, almost tiredly, getting straight to the point.

Katty bristled, and felt her nerves molt and distort into anger. "Maybe he should have kept his hands to himself," she replied, ice evident in her voice. "Like we all learnt in primary school. Or was Aiden too thick to get through that lesson?"

If the jab affected Deanna, she didn't react. "It's lucky you didn't do much more than bruise him," she reported, and Katty felt anything but lucky. "I'd also like to know why you felt the need to steal from him," Deanna gestured to the knife on the table.

"I disarmed him after he cut through my top and almost gave me a lovely new breathing hole," Katty snapped and tilted her head back to accentuate the bloody slice on her neck.

"I'm not here to argue semantics, Katty," Deanna stated calmly, "I'm here –"

"Aren't semantics all we have anymore?" Katty mocked. "Alexandria is a home to some, poison to others." She waved a hand gesturing first to Deanna and then back to herself. "You may say Aiden acted in self defense, I say he assaulted me and fancied to change that into sexual assault while he was at it," Katty couldn't keep the mocking smile off her face at the widened expression Deanna sent. "It's all semantics, love."

Deanna took a deep breath, and Katty was morbidly pleased that it shook. "Katty, why don't you start at the beginning?"

Katty suddenly craved a cigarette, and wished she knew if anyone in this room smoked. "You seem to already have the whole story, Deanna. Great detective work," she drawled at her.

"Katherine, just – "

"Don't," Katty snapped irritably. "Don't call me that," her mum had been the only one to refuse to call her Katty; she felt insulted that Katty didn't like that she inherited her grandmother's name. Katty would be damned if Deanna called her that.

"Katty," a low, calm voice sounded beside her.

It startled Katty, and she refrained from jumping at the sound of her name. Rick was now standing much closer to her than before. Katty glanced at Rick quickly before she focussed on Deanna again. Deanna wasn't antagonizing her on purpose, the portion of her sober brain reminded her. Just the appearance of the woman in front of her, and her relation to Aiden, made Katty escalate. Rick could see it too, and it didn't surprise Katty that he could. It was part of his job.

"Katty," he called again, and it was more stern this time. She twitched but her eyes remained locked on Deanna, spaced out. "Look at me," He didn't even try to hide the order in his voice, and Katty looked towards him before she could get annoyed. Rick was calm as always but his eyes held a warning. Calm down.

"I know you don't want to talk about it. Just say it once, and it'll be done."

Katty searched his face for a while, and she wasn't sure what she was looking for. Empathy, maybe? She knew Rick had to appear neutral in front of Deanna.

"There isn't much to it. I left the party, Aiden and Nicholas grabbed me. Aiden was obviously drunk, not sure about Nicholas. Aiden punched me, then when he pulled a knife, Nicholas got nervous. Ran off just after Aiden cut through my vest and held it to my throat. I punched him, took his knife, and he ran off too." Katty spoke only to Rick when she explained herself, and his eye contact felt like a lifeline. He held her gaze steadily, and nodded at certain points. Sure, she skirted over certain details, but Katty could confidently say that she hadn't lied.

"Thank you, Katty," Rick said evenly to her, and she shrugged in response and looked down. She wanted to be done. Katty could feel herself getting close to saying something that would make this infinitely worse.

Looking at Deanna, she felt it bubble to the surface again. She hated how calm Deanna was. Hated that Katty was sitting at the table, a tightly wound ball of anxiety and anger, and hated that Deanna was looking at Katty with a calculating expression.

"So what do you think we should do about this?" Deanna asked, and she wasn't condescending. Katty knew it was irrational, but it made her angrier that Deanna seemed genuinely curious what Katty thought should happen to rectify the situation.

Katty clenched her jaw, and her face throbbed painfully. "It doesn't matter to me," she snapped out before she could stop herself. "I'm leaving after we're done at the warehouse tomorrow."

She could feel the shocked expressions around the room, and cringed. Was it really that surprising? She glanced around and immediately felt guilty. Katty regretted her words. Not because she didn't really want to leave, but because she didn't want to upset anyone.

Maggie especially looked hurt. "No, you aren't," she said with a solid shake of her head. Katty didn't know what to say to her friend, and just looked at Maggie with wide eyes.

"You aren't getting exiled, Katty," Deanna said solidly, and Katty looked at her incredulously. What a bold faced fucking lie, she seethed to herself. Deanna just wanted to catch her off guard.

"I'm not, huh?" Katty asked, a challenge evident in her voice. She paused and considered whether to further her attack. The larger, angrier portion of her won out. She wanted to make Deanna hate her, crack the calm, superior demeanor and make her angry. Katty licked her lips.

"I almost killed him," she said quietly, and waited for Deanna to explode. The air around her was tense, stifling, and Katty wanted to break it.

"Why didn't you?" Deanna asked instead, and Katty froze, completely thrown. Surprised, both by the content of the question and that fact that Deanna hadn't erupted in anger like Katty had expected. She frowned. Why had she stopped? She had a reason. Katty mulled this over for a while, searching her mind for what had gone through her head at the time. The guards at Woodbury popped into frame, and she had her answer.

"Because of you."

"Me?" her eyebrows rose as the interest in her tone increased.

"You, Reg, Spencer," Katty elaborated. "I don't like you much, Deanna. But I respect you," she paused to throw her an annoyed look. Katty knew she was being petty, but couldn't seem to stop the proverbial word vomit from happening. "And I don't want to be the reason you have to mourn someone. I don't want to make you sad."

Deanna was silent for a while, and both women just stared at each other. Katty tried to calm the pace of her breath, but found that her heart was racing too fast to allow her lungs to steady themselves. Not now, Katty pleaded with herself. Please don't have a panic attack. Her chest felt tight and constricted.

"I asked you when you first got here what you thought about Alexandria," Deanna broke the silence. "I don't think you were being completely honest back then." It was a statement, not a question, one that Deanna didn't expect Katty to argue with.

The room was silent as the group waited for Katty to respond, and she had forgotten that there were even other people in the room until Carol put something in the sink to wash. She wondered what they thought about her now. When she wasn't funny Katty, positive or laughing Katty. When she broke and the surface of the person she had worked so hard to become chipped away. Katty felt like that bitter, angry girl at the beginning of the apocalypse, now more than ever.

"I always get asked why it took me so long to follow Aaron and Eric back to Alexandria," Katty mumbled offhandedly, picking at her nails as she stared at her hands clasped in her lap. "I was done with watching people die," Katty continued, not looking up. "But I was wrong about that. Everyone here, aside from Rick's group, is already dead," she continued bitterly. "I'm just fuckin' done with caring about – " she hesitated as she tried to think of a phrase to describe the residents. "caring about souls that are already lost."

"You don't mean that, Katty," Deanna was closer to her now, when Katty looked up from her lap finally. "You don't think that," she reworded. Deanna's voice was firm, she truly believed that Katty was lying.

"Deanna, you live in a complete fantasy land – you have no idea what's happening out there," Katty's voice had lost the angry edge and she just sounded frustrated – morose even. "The people of yours that you do send out there treat it like a fuckin' joke, a game. Instead of listening to Rick or anyone that's actually lived through it, you're content to make them all play dress up. How sick is that?" Katty's eyes searched Deanna's, looking for some form of recognition or acceptance. Nothing. She found nothing in return.

"You can't say you don't care, Katty." Deanna responded, ignoring Katty's previous dialogue. Katty frowned, confused. "Look around," she continued at the look on her face. Katty flinched when Deanna put her hand confidently on her shoulder and leaned in slightly. "You already do. Jessie said you wanted to teach everyone self defense classes with Rosita, Natalie and Bob mentioned tonight that you visit just to talk sometimes, and you've requested to be put on the watch rotation. Rick's group are residents too, even if you don't see it that way. And there's a room full of them right now that care about you. Katty, you can lie to yourself all you want, but it's obvious you're past the point of not caring."

Katty's eyes burned and she glared at Deanna, unshed tears evident in her glare. She was angry because Deanna was right; she already cared about people here, enough to want to teach them how to defend against any harm. She was angry because that meant she was already a goner; sucked into a typhoon of sadness when people were inevitably lost.

She didn't say anything in response, just shook her head in a disbelieving kind of way and focussed on trying not to cry in front of everyone.

"I didn't come here to fight with you or throw accusations at you, Katty," Deanna still had her hand on her shoulder, and Katty didn't look at her. She could feel the soft, sympathetic look on her face, and didn't want to see it. "Aiden wasn't – " she paused, "forthcoming with what happened, but he didn't blame you at all. He's apologetic."

Katty couldn't make herself scowl or be angry anymore. She was drained, and though she wasn't going to forgive the younger Monroe son, Katty knew she wouldn't try to sabotage anything at the warehouse tomorrow. It wasn't worth risking other people. She wasn't angry enough to forget about everyone else.

"I just thought I would get your side of the story," Deanna continued. "And I had a feeling that we had some things to talk about," she added quietly. "I meant it, you aren't exiled. And I can't stop you from leaving, but there would be a lot of people that would miss you, Katty. More than Rick's group."

"However, I think we need to sleep on it and talk about whether you should go to the warehouse in the morning," Deanna added carefully, enunciating clearly and evenly.

Katty's head snapped up to look at her, and Deanna raised a hand up to stop Katty from talking. "I'm not saying no; I'm just saying we'll talk about it." Deanna had evidently decided that that was the end of the conversation, and took a step back from Katty. She turned to address Rick. "I think that's enough for tonight, I'm sure you all want to get to bed. I'm sorry the evening had to end like this," Deanna nodded at all of them, and then cast a brief, unreadable look towards Katty before turning and walking out.

She shut the door, and with that, seemingly shut out every last noise and breath in the room. There were a few, tense seconds, which Katty immediately decided she couldn't stand.

"I'm sorry, I – "

"Stop," Carol interrupted her. "You have nothing to apologize for, Katty." She clipped at her, and Katty's eyes found her feet once more.

"You didn't mean that, right? You're not really leavin' us," Maggie asked, pleading with Katty with her eyes.

Yes. "I'm not sure," she said instead. Coward. "It's hard – sometimes – being around people again," Katty parroted Enid's words back at the group. She easily and fully related to what the girl had said to her earlier that day.

"It's harder to be alone," Michonne said gently, and Katty had the distinct feeling that she was speaking from experience. Katty didn't disagree, but it was difficult in a different way.

"You're staying here tonight," Rick said firmly, and Katty quirked an eyebrow at him. "I think everyone would feel better if you did. You can take Daryl's room,"

She wrung her lip between her teeth and looked at him, uncomfortable. The needy, childlike part of her was thankful for the invitation. "That's invasive, isn't it?"

Glenn's lips twitched, "Why, because you plan on snooping?"

Katty mock glared at him. "Yeah, because I have a death wish, Glenn."

"Daryl wouldn't mind if he was here, it's fine," Rick reassured her. "He probably took most of his things out with them, anyways."

Katty vaguely heard Michonne mutter a suggestive comment under her breath, but couldn't bring herself to laugh at it. She just wanted to go to sleep and forget about this entire evening. Forget about Aiden, forget about the entire confrontation with Deanna, and forget Maggie's hurt expression when she blurted out her plan to leave.

Looking around, Katty couldn't say she wasn't surprised that not a single face contained malice towards her. Everyone mostly looked tired or somewhat contemplative, but no one seemed angry. The more she thought about it, the guiltier she felt. Would she be able to leave these people? They had offered her nothing but support and encouragement the entire evening. She had even just said to Enid, hours earlier, that Katty felt empty on her own. Could she really survive, emotionally, mentally, like that?

Katty shook her head. That was selfish of her. Her decision had to be for the benefit of the group, not her. And if that meant Katty's disappearance, that's just what would have to happen.

Carol offered to show Katty to Daryl's room, and Maggie reached out and squeezed her hand assuredly as she left the room. On her way down the hallway and up the stairs, she heard Glenn and Maggie saying their goodbyes and making their short walk back to the other house. Other than Daryl, she had definitely spent most of her time with the aforementioned couple. And other than her favourite grouchy redneck, Katty would miss them the most.

"It's this door," Carol said, and Katty finally focussed on the environment around her. Carol opened the door for her and it was as Katty expected. Like the rest of the houses in Alexandria, the room was nice. Classy and modern and furnished. Daryl's room was mostly bare, and he didn't have piles of clothes or weapons lying around. She wondered if he had taken everything when they left today.

How different would the evening have gone if Daryl had been here? She would have liked to romanticize it, think that none of it would have happened and that he would have made it better. Not that that idea was implausible, but it was more likely that it would have gone worse. Daryl might've blown up at Deanna, went after Aiden, there were many more ways that it could have ended even worse. Maybe it was some sick blessing that he had been ignorant to the entire thing.

"See you in the morning, Katty," Carol said kindly, briefly laying a hand on her arm before she walked towards where Katty presumed her room was.

She didn't snoop, not really. Katty merely helped herself to one of the last few shirts in his closet, which ended up being one with the sleeves ripped or cut off. She rolled her eyes, amused. Did the man ever wear anything else? She supposed if she had arms like that, she wouldn't feel compelled to cover them up either.

So she went through Daryl's closet quickly for a shirt. But Katty didn't snoop. She refrained from looking throw any drawers or even under the bed. Her pants stayed off, because Katty really deserved a night where she didn't have to wear pants. An odd thought struck her, and Katty realized one of the things she missed most about her life before was sleeping naked. Strange, that these simple aspects of comfort and security is what she missed. Katty would probably never get to do that again.

She climbed into bed, trying to ignore the discomfort with being in Daryl's room and now in his bed. Katty tried to ignore the fact that everything smelled like him and made her, again, selfishly reconsider her choice in leaving.

The ceiling greeted her long before any sleep did, and Katty stared at the dark surface for a while. She refused to question anymore how much time had actually passed. She listened to the rest of household retire to their own rooms for the night and then forced her eyes closed.

Sleep drifted to and away from Katty many times that night, but laying in the confines of another person's bed, she was able to pretend that she wasn't in Alexandra. Wasn't in the middle of a world consumed by the undead, wasn't already missing people that she had yet to leave. Wasn't worried about what would happen tomorrow.

Only time would tell.


A/N: Shorter chapter, I know! Next one we will deal with the warehouse, and Daryl will either be in the next coming chapter or the one after in some way or another. I know this is a slow burn compared to other stories, but thank you for sticking with me. It'll pay off soon, I swear!

I think I might add the snippets, starting next chapter. Hopefully I don't forget, haha.

Thanks for reading and feel free to review!

-Submechanophobia