Hope Has A Place

Author: Midnyteblue
Pairing: Jack/Daniel friendship (Slash…yes you read right)
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Solitudes (Minor)
Summary: While everyone deals with the aftermath of Antarctica, Jack makes a decision which could change everything
Disclaimer: Not mine never have been or will be. Fic inspired by the beautiful Enya
AN: I did debate on whether to add one more fic in before this (A Jack POV fic). If you want it I can still add it in, if not sit back and enjoy the ride :)


"Okay Colonel, you can go. But please remember to take it easy!"
"I know, I know. No exercise or strenuous activity."
"And take the pain killers! You have a broken leg and broken ribs, deal with it like a normal person."
"I'll keep an eye on him Janet." Daniel replied as he stood by his best friend's bed.

It had been three weeks since he, along with Teal'c and General Hammond had rescued Jack and Sam from the 'Ice Planet', AKA: Antarctica. Jack had been badly injured and both were suffering severe Hypothermia when they were eventually found

Daniel had stayed for a week at Mcmurdo, keeping an eye on his friends and helping secure the second Stargate that had been discovered. Now two weeks later they were home in Colorado Springs and Jack was being released into his care in the hopes that the Colonel would actually take his injury seriously and allow Daniel to aid him when needed. Jack would be bed-bound for another week and wouldn't be allowed back at the SGC for another two weeks after that on Light Duties. Daniel had agreed to move back in with Jack for two weeks to help out and 'Keep him in line' as Janet had ordered.

Daniel was happy for any excuse to be with Jack, he was in love with the Colonel although Jack didn't know it.

*And he never will* Daniel thought.

He had been in love with Jack for a while but there was no way he was going to tell that to the very straight Colonel Jack O'Neill of the United States Air Force. Not a chance in the world.

*Or any other world we come across*

Aside from everything else he worked for the United States Air Force, and while he was a Civilian, he still fell under their rules which included 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

*So freaking outdated.*

Dr Janet Frasier, the SGC's primary physician looked between the two men standing in front of her and against her better judgement signed Jack out of the Infirmary. Both she and General Hammond felt it was in the best interest of the facility for him to leave the base as soon as possible. Jack wasn't the world's best patient and as such three nurses had called in sick already whilst General Hammond was sick of shredding all the transfer requests Jack had been submitting.

"Alright Colonel, get out of here. I don't want to see you for another three weeks."

Jack gave a huge smile and quickly hugged the petite Doctor as he moved past.

"He's a pro on those crutches." Janet remarked.

"It's not his first broken bone remember." Daniel pointed out.

"You're a brave man Daniel."

Daniel smiled and took Janet's instructions in hand just as they heard a bellow from down the hall,

"MOVE IT DANIEL!"

"When have I obeyed orders?" Daniel murmured.

"Good Luck!" Janet patted him on the arm before heading into her office.

Daniel caught up with Jack and after a quick stop on Level 18 to get some things from Daniel's office, the pair continued up the elevator to the surface.

One of Daniel's colleagues, Anna, was helping him carry some things to his car.

"What is all this for Daniel?"
"Well with Sam still out for at least another week, the General decided that Teal'c could take some time off to visit Rya'c and I could work on some things from home."
"You can do that?"
"Not all of us think that work has to involve an MP5. How do you think I get all the translations done?"
"You have a team of ten staff Danny, get them to do something for once."
"Oh he does Sir, but Daniel knows more than all of us combined. I mean he can translate rings around us." Anna replied.

"Don't sell yourself short Anna, you were much better at Macedonian than I was when you came."
"Notice the past tense there Mr 'I speak Twenty-Three Languages and can read a further eighteen'!"

Daniel shuffled his feet at the praise and blushed slightly. Jack had hopped around to the passenger side of Daniels car and was watching the exchange.

*Look at him blushing, he's adorable! I just want to hug him, brush his hair from his eyes, and hold him...STOP IT O'NEILL! You're still at the SGC and Daniel is your friend. Be happy with what you have, he will never love you back so you need to deal with this.*

Jack noticed Daniel was still talking so he focused,

"...anything important I can come in for but otherwise Anna knows where to find me."
"Sure do Dr. Jackson."

Jack raised an eyebrow and took note of the way Anna was looking at Daniel,

*She still has a thing for him, not that I blame her. Back off! He's mine!*

"Right, Daniel when you're ready I would very much like to go home. I've been stuck inside for three weeks, I need my bed!"

Daniel rolled his eyes and smiled politely at Anna,

"Alright, you have my cell and my email is always on. I'll see you in two weeks; call me if you need me."

Anna waved and headed back inside the mountain.

"You're grouchy today."
"I've been stuck in a hospital bed for three weeks Daniel; I'm very keen to see the outside world. I want to go home to my bed, my deck, eat some real food. I want to shower that's not over-run with people and I want a little space."
"Antarctica not big enough for you?"
"Everyone's a comedian. You know what I mean, I've had people bustling around me for weeks and some peace and quiet will be nice."

"Well I promise not to get in the way.
"I don't mean you Daniel, I doubt you could ever be in my way...okay so sometimes you can be, but I can handle it."

*you can handle me.*

Daniel tightened his grip on the wheel as the thought brushed over his mind.

*Get over yourself Daniel, you promised yourself you would stop doing this.*
"You okay?"
"Yeah, just thoughts."
"I hear that."

The pair spent the next forty minutes discussing everything that had happened over the past three weeks since they had found the second gate.

"So now it's locked up safe and sound at Area 51." Daniel finished
"Wonder how we managed to get two gates?"
"I have no idea, but at least we have a backup just in case."

"Planning on losing our gate Danny?"
"Not if I can help it."

They pulled into Jack's drive and Daniel opened the door. Three trips later Daniel had moved all his things in and he finally took a chance to look around. He had popped over a few times in the last week to give the house a 'Lived in vibe'. Jack's house wasn't the same as the apartment. The apartment was a place where Daniel lived, his things were there and he paid the utilities but it wasn't here.

Daniel had lived in Jack's home for three months when he had come back from Abydos and even though he had been in the apartment for almost the same length of time, there was something about Jack's home that made him feel comfortable; like he was meant to be there.

"Your room is still there." Jack spoke up from the couch.

"I figured, how you doing?"

"Oh I'm fine, but I can see this getting old real fast."
"I'm sure you'll survive. Listen, do you mind if I set up my laptop here?"
"Sure, you didn't want to use the study?"
"I didn't want to assume."
"Geeze Daniel, you live here too."
"Lived, past tense."
"Whatever, the point is Mi Casa, e su Casa, you know that. Do what you gotta do."
"Okay thanks, let me get set up and then I'll see about Dinner okay."
"Already sorted." Jack grinned and Daniel rolled his eyes

"Let me guess, extra-large with peperoni and pineapple?"
"Dinner of champions."
"Good thing my job involves strenuous exercise."
"Are you worried about your figure Dr Jackson?" Jack smirked.

"No, and anyway who would I have to look good for?"
*Me, and no complaints on this end.* "What about Anna?"
"I don't think so Jack."
"Why not? She's cute, totally has a thing for you."
"She has a thing for my brain, not me."
"Okay, that's weird. But why not give it a go?"
"I can't Jack, not yet."
"Sha'ra? I thought you had decided to move on."
"I have, but I still need to find her, and that's not it anyway."

"You do like someone else! I honestly thought you were joking." *They are so transferred.* Come on Danny, spill."
"No, there's no one else, Anna just isn't my type. She's a great girl and I'm glad we have her at the SGC but she isn't for me."

"Okay, that's cool. We'll find someone for you."

Daniel shook his head and headed up the stairs to the study.

"What about you?" He called down, "Maybe you should focus on your love life before mine?"
"I'll get right on that!" Jack called back. *Not a chance Daniel, I'll always make sure you come first.*

Sighing in frustration, Jack turned on the TV to catch up on some shows he had missed. After a short while the phone rang. Jack looked up as Daniel started coming down the stairs.

"Just answer it Danny."

Daniel shrugged and pressed the receive button,

"Hello, O'Neill residence."
"Dr Jackson is that you?"

Daniel grinned as he recognised the voice

"Mrs O'Neill, how are you?"
"I'm fine lad, and you?"
"I'm well."
"Keeping my son out of trouble?"
"Well that's a difficult thing to achieve."
"So that's a no, what's he done this time?"
"Maybe you should ask him."
"Aye, I'll do just that. Is he there?"
"Of course, have a lovely evening."

Jack grinned as he took the phone,

"Mamma, how much do you love me?"

Daniel rolled his eyes and went into the kitchen to grab a drink. Well aware Jack was still on antibiotics he poured them both a glass of coke and took one into Jack before returning to the kitchen and opening the pantry door.

It had been nearly four weeks since SG1 had set off on the mission that would ultimately land them in Mcmurdo and Jack hadn't been home since. Daniel had cleaned out the fridge two weeks before but hadn't re-stocked.

*Well at least we can start from scratch, and I'll have a decent kitchen to cook in.*

Daniel enjoyed cooking but he hated cooking for himself. Since moving out his diet had been severely lacking except on the nights he and Jack shared a meal. He was often tempted to turn up at Jack's place just so he could justify cooking something decent.

He glanced up at Jack who was still chatting away. Daniel had never met Caitlin O'Neill but they had spoken a few times on the phone. She was a lovable Irish woman who had emigrated when she was a young girl, yet she had never lost her accent, or her Irish charm. Jack was quite close to his mum and sister. He rarely saw them but they would only go a week or so without speaking. Daniel envied the connection the family had but he was grateful too.

*No-one should go through what I have.* he thought.

He continued his shopping list and half an hour later Jack put down the phone.

"Mum says bye."
"How is she?"
"She's good, worrying about Chels a little but that's nothing new.
"Is it bad I keep forgetting you have a sister?"
"Well I never talk about her, so no."
"Yes, why is that?"
"Black Ops 101. Never give away any private information that could be used against you. Family are always the first to be hurt so I never speak about them. I don't have any photo's lying around just in case, I don't need those days to come back and bite me."
"But you aren't doing that anymore."
"Yeah but you never know. Except for pictures of Charlie and Dad, it's just not worth it. Not till I retire anyway. Apart from Sara" *and you* "no one means more to me than mum and Chelsea."

*Too bad I'll never make that list.* Daniel lamented.

At that moment Daniel heard a car pull up and he went to go and pay for the pizza. A few minutes later a second knock at the door heralded the arrival of Thai food. Daniel was surprised but happily paid the man.

"I know you don't like pizza Danny."
"Thanks Jack."

Daniel smiled in Jack's direction before going to get some plates. Jack thought he would melt then and there. Daniel smiling was a rare event but Jack had vowed to try and make it happen more often. When he did smile, the Archaeologist reminded Jack of his son, but the feelings he had went well beyond that, even beyond what he felt for Sara. It took him a moment to realise Daniel was still talking

"And on top of that there is only enough coffee for at least three more cups. So if you need anything let me know."
"What are we talking about?"

"Seriously? Groceries Jack, I'll go in the morning. I'm not living off pizza for the next two weeks."

"Boring."

Daniel sat back with his food and began to read a book while Jack continued to watch TV. They sat for over an hour quite comfortably neither man realising the other was constantly shooting glances in his direction. Eventually Jack's pain killers kicked in and he started to doze off.

"Go to bed Jack." Daniel spoke quietly. Jack mumbled something that Daniel swore sounded like 'Not without you.' *Wishful thinking Jackson*

He got up and checked the sheets on Jack's bed were fresh before going to wake the older man. Daniel crouched down next to the couch and gently shook Jack's shoulder. Jack's eyes opened sleepily and Daniel drew in a quick breath as Jack's eyes looked into his.

"Danny?"
"You fell asleep Jack. Go to bed."
"It's all the way upstairs."
"But you will be more comfortable. Let's go."

Daniel pulled him into a sitting position and helped him stand. Jack was a bit wobbly so Daniel put an arm around him and together they made it up the stairs. Jack sat on his bed while Daniel went to retrieve his crutches. When he came back Jack had fallen against the pillow and was almost asleep again. Daniel chuckled and pulled Jack's single shoe off before manoeuvring his trousers over his cast leaving only his boxer shorts in place.

"Trying take 'vantage D'ny?"
"You wish." Came Daniel's automatic response.

As he processed what he had said Daniel mentally kicked himself,

*What did you go saying something stupid like that for? Oh well, he's so out of it he won't remember.*

When he was sure Jack was comfortable Daniel returned downstairs to lock up for the night. He stood for a moment in the quiet home and sighed contentedly.

*I hate how much I love this place. The apartment just isn't the same.*

One look at love and you may see
It weaves a web over mystery,


He collected his book and went back upstairs to 'His Room' as Jack had termed it. The pale blue walls felt like a warm blanket on a winter night, comfortable and familiar. Daniel opened the window to let in the warm summer breeze. The room looked out over the back yard, although he rather liked his balcony view of the Colorado Springs sky line, the quiet of the trees at Jack's home was just as good.

He decided to write in his Journal for a while instead of continuing his book. Each room in Jack's home had a bay window and he was quite content to sit there for a while and reflect. As he opened to his current page he heard a noise from across the hall.

He walked quietly to the door and peeked out. Realising the noise was coming from Jack's bedroom Daniel quickly made his way into the room opposite. Jack seemed to be in the throes of some nightmare, thrashing about. Daniel turned on the light by the window and made his way over to the bed,

"No...Won't come in time...I'm sorry...give up...Sara...tell...sorry...love...tell...Sam..."
"JACK!"

Daniel spoke sharply, Jack's words cutting in deep,

*You're such an idiot Jackson.*

Not wanting to hear any more Daniel grabbed Jack's shoulder quite hard. He jumped back quickly as Jack's other fist came flying towards him.

*Note to self, don't wake a sleeping Colonel.*

Jack's hand had hit the side table and the impact jolted him awake,

"Ouch, what's going...Daniel?"
"You were having a dream, a bad one by the sound of it." *I know I am* "I tried to wake you."
"I was in Antarctica."
"I got that, but you aren't. You're in your bed in Colorado Springs, good ol' U.S of A."
"Daniel, what's wrong?"
"Me, nothing's wrong, I'm fine. Go back to sleep Jack, Pain okay?"

Jack could only nod and watch as Daniel left quite quickly, closing the door behind him. Jack couldn't comprehend what had happened. His brain was a bit fuzzy from sleep and pain killers but he couldn't sleep.

His mind wandered back to Antarctica, he hadn't been dreaming as much as remembering. He was with Carter in the cave, his leg and chest we're killing him and he was having issues breathing. Sam had passed out a few minutes before. He was trying to stay awake as long as possible, he was re-living some of the more happier times in his life, Sara and Charlie...Daniel. He was still holding out for a rescue but as the seconds slipped by his resolve was failing. He had started talking to himself internally, but at some point Jack had realised he was actually speaking aloud

### FLASHBACK ###

"I can't stay awake much longer. Hurts too much."
"Stay awake Jack!"

Jack looked up to see Daniel standing next to him,

"You're not here."
"Not really, no. But I am coming."
"Just my imagination."
"Hold on Jack. Stay awake."
"I can't."
"I'm coming Jack but you need to stay awake. You have to fight okay, I am coming."
"No, you won't. Not in time."
"I will Jack, just hang on."
"I'm sorry Danny, I don't want to give up...I just need sleep, better after sleep."
"No Jack please, just a little longer."

Jack's head dropped a little and he jolted awake. Daniel was gone.

"No Danny, I'm sorry, please forgive me, you don't know. Sam, Sam can tell you, has to tell you. I love you Danny. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to but I have to tell you. Sam tell him I'm sorry, tell him I love him. Tell Danny, please Sam...Danny."

### END FLASHBACK ###

He had passed out at that point and when he had next woken up he was lying under a heated blanket and Daniel was standing between his bed and the one Sam was occupying,

### FLASHBACK ###

"What's going on?"
"He's awake." Jack heard Daniel call out to someone,
"Daniel?"
"Jack stay still, you're okay."
"You came?"
"Yeah, sorry it took a while."
"Where are we?"
"Jack you're in Mcmurdo, Antarctica."
"Why?"
"It's a long story; I'll fill you in later. But you're okay, you're on Earth."
"Lock out the Ice Planet. Not fun."
"That may be a bit difficult Jack."
"Long Story?"
"Yeah."

"You came." Jack spoke softly as he looked into Daniel's eyes, his own eyes closing in weariness.

"Always." Daniel whispered.

### End Flashback ###

All ravelled threads can rend apart
For hope has a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart.


Jack opened his eyes to the sunlit room. His window was open a little and a warm breeze was blowing in. He looked around and noticed there was a bowl of fruit-loops and a glass of milk next to his pain killers. Next to that was a small bottle of Tylenol with a note attached,

'Jack, I've gone grocery shopping. Please try and remember that you are bed-ridden, I've left you breakfast and your prescription from Janet. When you have finished debating with yourself and have decided not to take the pain-killers because you don't actually need them take two Tylenol. I'll be back in a few hours. - Daniel.'

Jack chuckled and went about eating his cereal, after which he decided to take a shower.

*You have to do something yourself O'Neill.*

Ignoring both types of pain killers Jack used his crutches to hobble into the bathroom. He found one of his plastic lawn chairs set up quite neatly in the bath and another outside it. There wasn't much room left over but it was manageable. Another note was attached to the mirror,

'Now that you've decided to ignore Janet's instructions try and do this right. Sit on the chair and prop your leg up so the cast doesn't get wet.'

Daniel couldn't believe the lengths Daniel had thus far gone to.

*You know me so well Danny.*

He had showered through broken bones before but he had to admit, it had been over fifteen years since he'd done it alone.

It took a while but eventually Jack made it downstairs. On the bench was another note and a second bottle of Tylenol,

'JUST TAKE THEM!'

"Yes Sir!"

Jack chuckled but this time obeyed. He rarely went against a direct order. Jack looked around his kitchen and noticed the coffee machine hadn't been touched. He knew he had some of Daniel's favourite blend in the cupboard so he was confused as to why he hadn't touched it. He went over and turned on the machine, If Daniel hadn't had coffee yet he would barely be functioning when he got back unless he went to Starbucks.

Jack opened the container that held the grounds and noticed that it was in fact empty.

*Oops, didn't realise we were out. I'll have to keep a closer eye on that.*

He sat down on the couch and reached for the phone. It was answered on the third ring,

"Good Morning Dr. Carrey speaking"
"Ellie! How's my favourite doctor doing this fine day?"
"Hi Jack, I'm well. How are you?"
"Oh you know, the usual."
"What did you do?"
"Why does everyone assume I've done something? Mum had the same reaction."
"Because we know you Jack, now what did you do?"
"Just a broken leg...and ribs, mild Hypothermia, no big."
"So a light week then?"
"Exactly. Listen Elle, I need a favour."
"Is Daniel okay?"
"He's fine." Jack's mind flashed back to the previous night and his forehead wrinkled, "Okay he's not a hundred percent but I can figure it out. One of the reasons is he is very caffeine deprived. Can you get me a bag of those coffee beans from that cafe in Denver?"
"Sure Jack. I'll get Mel to stop by sometime today."
"Thanks Ellie, I'll send you the money."
"Look after him."
"I always do. Speak soon."

Jack hung up and automatically dialled another number,

"Carter! How you feeling?"
"Still a bit chesty Sir but better, How about you?"
"Oh I'm fine and dandy. Listen I need to talk to you about something, Is there any way you can come over?"
"Sure, just don't tell Janet I drove anywhere."
"My lips are sealed. See you soon."

Jack hung up the phone and waited for his 2IC to make an appearance.


Daniel wandered down the aisle of the supermarket in Colorado Springs. His cart was filling fast but he was pretty sure it would be the first time Jack had had actual food in his home that didn't also come bearing the sticker 'Frozen Meal'.

He was choosing items on auto-pilot, his brain still firmly fixed on the events of the previous night. He had vowed to shut himself off to any feelings he had for Jack and simply be his friend, but to hear Jack speak of loving Sam had hit him hard.

*Why not? Sam is great! Full military, they work closely together. It makes sense really. I can't be upset about this, it was bound to happen. I just need to be happy for them. Be their friend, I am good at that. Okay Jackson that's enough, you've done this before and you can do it again. At least this time you aren't about to propose when you found out. There you go a positive. Some positive that is. Maybe it's time to learn Gaelic, you don't know that one.*

Daniel sighed and continued his shopping, mentally preparing himself to be the best friend anyone could ask for.


"Good Morning Sir, How are you?"
"Peachy. Glad to be out of the infirmary. When are you due back?"
"Next week but it might be longer if I'm still sick."
"Okay, so Carter what do you remember about those last few hours in that cave?"

Sam blinked in surprise at her CO's sudden change of topic but she figured it was why she was there so she changed pace and went with the flow.

"I was pretty much passed out the whole time Sir."
"The whole time?"
"Yes Sir."

Sam hesitated slightly which Jack picked up on. He was risking his whole career on the woman in front of him and he only hoped his hunch was right.

"Right. See I'm pretty sure that during my wonderful hallucinations, right before I passed out myself, you took my hand which would mean you were awake at least then."
"Maybe you were still hallucinating." Sam was getting nervous, "Or maybe my body was trying to stay warm and I instinctively reached out for you."
"Maybe"

Sam wasn't quite sure what Jack wanted to hear.

"Sir," she took a deep breath, "Maybe I was awake and heard some things but I can just as easily have not heard anything."

Jack sat back and sighed,

"So what exactly did you hear?"
"Well...I heard you say you were giving up, you seemed to be having a conversation with someone about it."
"Better than the Seventies. So what else?"
"You wanted to sleep Sir. I didn't have the energy to try and talk you out of it."
"That's okay, anything else?"

Jack knew at this point she had heard every word he'd said. Her hesitation also meant he knew he could trust her. At this point he needed that confidence in someone because he was scared as hell. Sam was extremely reluctant to speak.

"Sam, you aren't in trouble, at least not from me. I just...need to know what you heard."

"I heard you confess your love for Daniel and I heard you ask me to tell him."

She flinched a little as she spoke, she didn't want to deal with the fallout.

"And did you?"
"No Sir, of course not!"

Jack let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. Sam looked at her hands a little unsure of what she was supposed to do.

"I'm sorry to put you through this Sam. It's just that Daniel woke me up in the middle of a nightmare and he was acting strange, well stranger than usual. I think I may have been talking in my sleep about that night. I think he heard me. I also remembered you grabbed my hand and I had to find out what you heard and possibly said."
"Sir, as I've told you I can easily forget what I heard." *Okay I won't forget but I wouldn't tell anyone. Who would believe me anyway?*

"I appreciate that Carter."

Jack got up and made limping steps around the room, Sam watched on while trying to settle her mind on a decision.

"Sir…Jack, do you…I mean are you really…"
"In love with Daniel so much that it hurts? Are you sure you really want to know?"

Sam hesitated but nodded anyway,

"Yes. Can I explain it? No I can't."

Jack had reached the window; he stopped and stared out facing away from Sam as he continued

"I don't know what to do Sam."

Jack's voice had taken on a new tone and Sam realised he was on the knife edge of an emotional precipice. One word and she was scared he would go over the edge; Sam wasn't so sure she could deal with that.

She'd had three weeks to deal with what had happened and over those three weeks she had watched her friends interact, she had also re-examined events from the previous months. Sam couldn't believe she had missed it but in saying that Jack was putting up a very strong front. In fact she had concluded that she only knew because she had been told.

It was very obvious that Daniel had no idea and with the Colonel very much alive she had found no reason to tell him. Sam took a deep breath, her decision made.

"Tell me about it."

Jack looked around at his 2IC not quite believing what he had heard,

"What?"
"Tell me about it Sir. Look it's obvious you need to talk about this. I respect you very much and I honestly don't care who you're with as long as it doesn't affect the team. Now on the flip-side of that I love Daniel very much…no not like that…he is a good friend and an amazing human being."
"He is."

Jack hobbled back to his seat and looked over at Sam,

"I don't know where to begin. I don't have a moment that I can pin point when I started to love him, but I do know I only admitted it to myself after all that krap with Hathor."
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"The look on Daniel's face after, Sam it cut so deep, I just wanted to run away with him and never let the world hurt him again."
"I think we all felt that to some extent Sir." Sam admitted.
"I know I've felt like this for a while, way before that moment, I just couldn't admit it. I mean look what happened when he "died", I was a mess."
"Yes, you didn't handle it well, I mean it's the one and only time I can see that you lost control."
"You knew?"
"No Sir, but looking back, it does make a certain kind of sense."
"I still don't quite know how to deal with this. Daniel is my best friend and I don't want to lose that. I'm sorry, I never meant for anyone to find out."
"Sir I don't mean to pry but, Well what about your wife?"
"I'm not gay Carter."

Jack got up and started to pace the room again,

"I love Sara, I probably always will and I very much appreciate the female form"

Same noticed he inadvertently glanced in her direction, but she didn't object.

"But there's something about Daniel, he is so kind and generous. He is always thinking about others. He is so careful yet has no problem jumping into whatever mess we throw at him. He is strong and smart, really really smart. His passion is incredible, have you noticed how his eyes sparkle every time the gate opens? Every time he presses down on the DHD he blinks, like he can't quite believe what he's doing. He has been hurt so much but he still stands tall. He is living proof that although the world sucks, there are still pockets of goodness in it."

Sam was taken aback by Jack's words,

"You have him up on a bit of a pedestal sir."
"I know, but I can't think of any other way to explain it. I'm not attracted to men Carter, but Daniel is different. I want to be near him, hold him, kiss him…Sorry; I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Sam was feeling a little awkward but managed to supress her feelings for the moment, later a very large drink might be called for, antibiotics be dammed!

"It's okay Sir, So what are you going to do?"
"What can I do Carter? Daniel has Sha'ra out there somewhere and although he's told me he isn't going to stay with her I have it on very good authority he isn't attracted to men, let alone a beat up old Colonel.

"I can't tell him Sam, it would send him away for sure and I don't want that. At least if I'm his friend I can watch out for him, He'll stay with the SGC and I can protect him. I need him close by."
"So friends, can you handle that?"
"I'll have to. I have no choice."

Sam nodded but inside she was screaming,

*JUST TELL HIM!*

"He may know anyway after last night. It would certainly explain his behaviour."
"What happened?"

Jack filled Sam in on the events from the night before. He was surprised at how easily he could talk to her considering their rank,

"Colonel I…"
"Sam, it's Jack…while we're here anyway."
"Okay…Jack…that sounds weird, anyway there's a chance that Daniel has no idea. It is common when people sleep talk to only say broken sentences, rarely will a full conversation happen."
"You know a bit about this."
"My brother used to sleep talk, any way Daniel may have only heard random words."
"But what if he didn't?"
"Then you deal with it, what other choice do you have?"

Jack sighed and put his head in his hands,

"It will all be okay Sir…Jack. I know you're struggling and I honestly don't envy you, but I think everything will be okay."
"How do you know?"
"Let's call it a woman's intuition."

Sam got up and hugged Jack,

"Sorry Sir, you looked like you need a hug."

Sam accepted the gesture and when she stepped back he looked straight at her,

"Sam I trust you."

She got the subtle message but it was unnecessary, her mind was already made up.

"Don't worry Sir, I can keep a secret. I don't want to break up SG1 any more than you do. As I said, just don't let it get in the way of the team."
"Never."
"Okay good, oh and one more thing, you hurt him and I will personally kick your ass. No disrespect intended Sir."
"None taken, thankyou Carter."

Sam grabbed her things and headed to the door. She opened it just as Daniel put his hand on the handle.

"Sam! What are you doing here?"
"Hey Daniel, the Colonel and I had some things to discuss. Need a hand?"
"That would be great, thanks."

Sam helped Daniel bring everything inside but Daniel declined the offer to help unpack.

"Okay, well I'll see you two later. Daniel try not to kill him?"

Sam walked to the door and Daniel followed,

"Thanks Carter."
"Any time Sir. And I do mean that."

Daniel followed Sam out to her car,

"Should you even be driving?"
"Not according to Janet."
"You're just as bad as Jack!"

Sam looked at her friend and noted that although his mouth was smiling his eyes were sad and lost. She reached out and hugged him,

"I love you, you know that right. No matter what, I'm here to talk."

Daniel was getting used to Sam's outburst of affection and emotion, the girl may be military but she was still female.

"I love you too. Drive safely and call me when you get in."

Sam pulled out of the drive and glanced back just in time to see Daniel adopt his usual self-hug pose.

*Oh Daniel, If only you knew.*

It had quite honestly been a surprising morning for her. She had never expected the words to come freely out of Jack's mouth; her main concern was for Daniel.

She knew Daniel cared about Jack and although she didn't know the full extent she had a feeling they ran deep.

Daniel would never say anything to anyone, just like Jack and she had no idea how to get the two of them together, or if it was even a viable option. She couldn't broach the subject with Daniel.

As a Captain of the USAF whose CO had just told her of his homosexual tendencies she knew it was her duty to report him.

*As if!*

So that left two options; She could let things continue as they were, watch Daniel suffer and watch Jack try not to care (albeit unknowingly) that he was the cause behind the pain in his eyes. Or she could figure out a way to help her two friends.

As Sam drove home she concluded she was in for a very long night.


"What was Sam doing here?" Daniel called out casually as he put away the shopping.
"Nothing special, just re-living past experiences, you know."
"Sure." *Suck it up Daniel. You can do this.* "How are you feeling? I assume there are still drugs upstairs, did you at least take these?" Daniel shook the bottle of Tylenol.
"Yes I did Dr Jackson. Geeze you're insistent when you want to be."
"You haven't seen anything yet."
"You know a trait like that will kill you someday."
"Never!"

Jack just chuckled and changed positions on the couch. It was a hot day and although he had the central air on his previous conversations with Sam had left him hot and bothered, and not in a good way.

"Why don't you work outside today Danny. A nice sunny day, soak up the vitamin D. Could be fun?"
"You're meant to still be in bed! You almost contracted Pneumonia. You need to rest Jack, not go and play in the park."
"Who said anything about playing? I was thinking about the deck. Come on, I haven't been outside since before Antarctica."

Daniel looked at Jack and knew there was no way he could say no,

"And how are you planning to get up the stairs?" Daniel looked pointedly at Jack's cast.
"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Jack got up and put on his most charming smile as he passed

*Don't worry about you Jack, yeah sure I'll get right on that.*

Daniel sighed and continued to put away the groceries,

*This is going to be harder than I thought.*

Whispering world, a sigh of sighs,
The ebb and the flow of the ocean tides
One breath, one word may end or may start
A hope in a place of the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart


Over the next week Jack and Daniel found themselves falling into a routine, Jack would ignore most if not all of Janet's instructions and Daniel would pretend not to notice. Daniel was however impressed at Jack's ability to lead a 'quiet life'. Usually Daniel saw him running around leading a hectic life but it also seemed he was able to simply sit and do nothing. The pair would spend the day on the deck or in the lounge where Jack would flip through a magazine or watch TV; sometimes he would simply just sit.

For Daniel it meant he caught up on his work quite quickly. He had already completed the work he was expected to finish and was now starting on some new things. General Hammond had even called personally to thank him but also to remind him he could take it easy for a while. The problem was every time he stopped he started to think, and thinking was bad.

In an effort to try and put his feelings behind him he had even invited Sam over for dinner. Jack seemed a little anxious at the suggestion which only fuelled Daniel's theory but all things considering, everything had gone well. The three of them chatted as they always did about the SGC and their own lives; it reminded Daniel of his days in Chicago, before the Stargate program. He used to sit with Steven and Sarah for meals like this. He hoped this time it would last.

Daniel watched as Jack interacted with Sam, they seemed to be much more relaxed around each other and Daniel realised he would just have to get over it. He loved Sam as a friend so somehow he would just have to project those seem feelings onto Jack,

By the end of the night Daniel was laughing alongside them, something Jack seemed relieved about. He decided to let his friends know he was on their side.

"You know guys, I think it's time I spoke up and say how happy I am you guys survived."
"Didn't want to break in a new leader?"
"Well there is that, and let me be the first to congratulate you. I'm happy for you guys, really. Just for the love of all things, if you break up please don't let it affect SG1, I kinda like our team the way it is."

Sam glanced at Jack with a raised eyebrow that seemed to say 'I told you so.', Jack just looked surprised

"And what exactly are we talking about?"
"You and Sam! I know you have a thing going and I'm saying I fully support it."

Sam smiled but decided to stay quiet, choosing to make herself busy by drinking her water.

*Great, leave this in my hands, I hate being the leader sometimes.* "Uh Daniel, Carter and I aren't…"
"Officially together, I know about the rules. Don't worry I'm very good at keeping secrets."

Daniel cleared the table and retreated into the solace of the kitchen. He took a few calming breaths before starting the clean-up.

"That's my job." Jack announced his presence.
"Yeah but you're injured, plus it keeps me busy. All good."
"We can do it later."
"Oh I don't mind, that way you and Sam can be alone."
"I don't want to be alone with Carter Daniel, now come back out."
"I really don't mind."
"I do."

Jack reached out and took Daniel's arm to pull him away from the sink. Daniel flinched slightly at the contact but Jack just gave him an understanding smile before walking back into the lounge.

Daniel leaned in over the sink and took some deep breaths. The look of hurt in Jack's eyes was horrible, and what was worse was he had put it there. He didn't know why Jack was upset, he was supporting his and Sam's relationship, but still he had obviously done something.

"It's always my fault."
"Daniel?"

He turned around and found Sam standing in the doorway.

"Listen, I'm gonna go."
"Sam I'm sorry."
"For what? I'm actually going because I don't feel very well. Dinner was amazing but I've got a pretty ridiculous headache, I don't think I'm going back to work next week."
"Are you okay to drive? I can take you/"
"I'll be fine Daniel. Walk me to the car though?"
"Of course."

Sam picked up her keys and headed for the door.

"Night Sir, thanks for dinner."
"No problem, thank Daniel. He's the culinary mastermind here."

Daniel blushed a little but only responded by placing a hand on Sam's back as she walked out. Once they were outside she linked her arm with Daniel's.

"Daniel I need you to know something."
"I already told you I won't say anything."
"Good, because there's nothing to tell. Believe me Daniel, the Colonel and I are not a couple of any kind."
"Okay…"
"Seriously! I am not the one he is interested in. That's why I was here the other day, he was hallucinating in the cave and he thought he was dying. He told me to tell…the person…how he felt but he didn't die so he wanted to know what I had heard and if I'd told his secret."
"Oh, well that makes sense. But there is someone, and it's not you. Who is it?"
"I can't say Daniel; it's not my secret to tell. But I will say, I do approve."
"You do?"

Sam nodded seriously and reached out for a hug,

"I'm around If you want to talk. I love you."
"Love you too. Sorry I assumed."
"Don't be sorry, and don't be mad if the Colonel doesn't tell, I mean I only found out by accident."

"Drive safe."

Daniel watched her back down the drive before heading inside. As he shut the door he laughed,

"What's so funny?"
"I think I have the most useful conversations with people as they get into cars. I mean I found out from Ellie that you were stalking me in the same way."
"I wasn't stalking you Daniel. I was…collecting information."
"I doubt a lawyer would agree, should I ask Chelsea?"
"Don't even think about it. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, Sam explained the situation."
"She did!"
"Yes, and I apologise for jumping to conclusions."
"That's fine, what exactly did Sam say?"
"Well my question is, who exactly did you confess your un-dying love for?"
"Um…Mary Steinberg?"
"Nice try Colonel. Sam said you wouldn't tell. Don't worry I'll get it out of you."
"I doubt it." Jack mumbled.
"Challenge accepted, now I'm going to clean up."
"I said we'd do that later."
"It's later now! Stay put, you're still on bed rest for another eleven hours."
"Good luck with that." Jack stated as he got up to help, "Oh this came for you today."

Jack picked up a box and handed it to Daniel.

"But I haven't ordered anything."

He opened the box and found a large bag of fresh Allpress Espresso beans; his favourite blend with a note on top.

'Dear Daniel, Sorry for the delay I had to wait for a shipment. – Love Ellie'

"How did she know?"
"I asked her on Friday when I saw we were out."
"Jack, you didn't have to."
"I know, and I did anyway. If nothing else it's to say thank you for staying around this past week."
"It's been fine, easy in fact. Actually I'm going to drop into the SGC tomorrow, will you be okay for a few hours?"
"I'm not a child Daniel."
"Sometimes I'm not so sure."

Daniel grinned and leaned sideways as Jack threw a towel at him,

"My point is made."

Daniel threw the towel back hitting Jack on the arm. He grabbed the offending item to continue cleaning.

Look to love you may dream,
And if it should leave then give it wings
But if such a love is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free


*Jack is going to kill me!*

Daniel continued smiling as the man before him continued his long, very very long speech. He was Off-World with SG5 on a routine mission. The people of the planet were quite peaceful, not quite Nox peaceful but still. They were also very drawn out. At first no one had been able to understand them and Hammond had been trying to decide whether to pull the plug. He chose to check with Daniel who had made an unexpected appearance. It had taken him two minutes to figure out the problem, (94 seconds actually, George had been timing.) and he had volunteered to lend a hand.

Apparently the Islardian's as the people were called were very keen to trade and Janet wanted to get her hands on a plant whose sap had significant healing properties. A mission that was expected to take a few hours had now taken four days.

The Islardian people had their own way of doing thing, a very long and involved way that resulted in three words being spoken where one would do. Each word was also drawn out; each syllable extended which was what was causing the initial language barrier.

Daniel figured he would still be a while, although the leader was in the middle of his farewell speech, he'd been at it for over three hours.

*Jack is definitely going to kill me.*


"Why on earth did you let him go off-world in the first place?"

Jack was arguing up a storm in General Hammond's office.

"He volunteered Jack; he wasn't officially on leave like the rest of SG1. He wanted to go. He has also been successful which is more than enough reason to justify sending him."
"You sent him out there alone General!"
"He has all of SG5 with him. That's seven people including a Major and two Captains! He's fine and I know you know that. What's really going on here Jack?"
*I miss my Archaeologist and I'm not there if anything happens* "It's…just don't let him do something crazy like this again."
"He's not a child Jack."
"I'm aware of that General." *Boy do I know that!* "But it's Daniel, he doesn't go looking for trouble, it bowls him over."
"He does have a proven track record. Still I deemed this to be an easy one and he has been fine." *And I may or may not have had words with Major Grady before he left. Jack doesn't need to know that.*
"I'm going to kill him."
"Go easy Jack. Daniel has had a very long couple of weeks, in fact I'm putting him on leave with the rest you for two weeks. There's no point you being here Jack, go home."
"Sorry Sir, no can do. Until Daniel is back on Earth I'm not going anywhere."
"Fine, I order you to go and find someone else to annoy."

Jack was surprised the General hadn't put up a fight.

"I'll take that order Sir."

Jack grinned as he got up and hopped away. Hammond shook his head; it had taken a whole twenty-four hours after Daniel had left for Jack to show up in his office, and he'd been there every four hours since. He had even picked Jack up himself that morning to save some poor unsuspecting Airman the trip.

*Daniel had better be back soon.*

Jack hopped his way down to the infirmary,

"Hey Doc, got a second?"
"Jack! What are you doing here?"
"I need this cast off."
"Is it irritating you?"
"Nope."
"Is your leg sore?"
"No."
"Then why am I removing you cast?"
"Because the General won't clear me to go through the gate until it's off, so let's go."
"I don't think so Colonel. For one thing when I do remove it in possibly two weeks you will still be on restricted duties which mean no gate travel for a month."
"See, that just doesn't work for me."
"Well it works for me and I'm the boss."

Jack stared down at the smaller woman in front of him, it took a few minutes but eventually Jack relented. Janet smiled in triumph.

"Okay, up on the bed."
"Huh, what for?"
"I'm going to re-examine the break. I might be able to adjust the cast to a walking boot *if* the bone is healing nicely."

Jack jumped up on the nearest bed and two hours later he was back limping down the corridors of the SGC, this time without crutches. The cast still reached his knee but he could bend it now and the boot made it possible to walk. He was still restricted from driving but things felt like they were getting back to normal.

*Danny just needs to come home. I miss him so much. He is never going off-world again.*

That night Jack decided to have an early one. He'd been at the SGC for the past four days and he hated to admit it but he was worn out. He made himself a sandwich for dinner and headed upstairs to bed. Once he was comfortable he reached over and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"
"Hey Nugget, how ya been?"
"Jack!"

Chelsea O'Neill was six years younger than Jack. He had called her 'Nugget' for as long as he could remember, though it wasn't because of her size. The two were quite close.

"So mum's been going on about your leg. What did you do this time?"
"Fell over…hard."
"Classified?"
"Sure is."
"Figures, listen I was just headed out, when am I seeing you next?"
"Christmas?"
"That's ages away."
"You could make a trip to the Springs next time you're in DC."
"Careful Colonel, I may just follow that order."
"Well that would be a first."
"I'm there in a few weeks, I'll see how I go."
"Sure, just let me know. Mum around?"
"Sure is. Have a good night Jack."
"Night Chels."

Jack waited while the phone was handed over,

"Jack how's your leg honey?"
"It's fine, the cast is off and I have a boot now. Probably for a few more weeks."
"One day you'll give up this Special Ops Business and lead a quiet life."
"I have a few more years left in me." Jack chuckled
"How's that handsome young man you manage to call a friend?"
"Handsome? How would you know that?" *I mean he is, yummy would be more of an apt description.*
"He sounds handsome, I'd have to meet him to be sure though."
"Maybe at Christmas, I'm sure he'd love to meet you. So the reason for my call, I wanted to ask a favour. Would you mind if I headed to the cabin for a week, maybe two?"
"You don't need my permission Jack. Your father left the cabin to you."
"I know I just…wanted to make sure. Would you mind if I take Daniel? He's never stayed in a log cabin before."
"Jack, what's this really about?"
"What do you mean?"
"You don't need my permission to do anything, so why are you asking?"
"I guess I more wanted to know about Danny. I've never taken anyone there before who wasn't family."
"Honey, Daniel *is* family. I can tell. He's your best friend right?"
"Yeah."
"Well that's family! Take him up, have a good time, relax. You sound stressed."
"I am a bit."
"Invite Daniel over, have pizza and relax a bit."
"He's out of town, hopefully he'll be back tomorrow but I'm not sure."
*Daniel is out of town…Jack is stressed…Definitely family my boy.* "Well get some sleep, what are you headed up?"

"Whenever Daniel gets back. It was an un-scheduled trip that has already gone longer than expected."

Jack looked up as he heard the front door open.

"Jack!?"

"He's back mum, I have to go."

Caitlin smiled as she heard relief in her son's voice.

*This friendship is doing wonders for you Jack. Don't let it go!* "Drive safely Jack, call me when you get home."
"I will. Love you mum."

Jack hung up as he heard Daniel walking up the stairs,

"I'm up here Daniel."

Daniel poked his head through the door and walked into the room. Jack noted how tired he looked.

"Decided to grace Earth with your presence?" Jack quipped.

Daniel rolled his eyes and went to sit on Jack's window seat.

"How are you doing? Everything okay? Janet told me she changed your cast. That's good news."
"It is, I can walk now. How did everything go on your end?"
"Good, got what we needed. It was along and drawn out process but it was worth it, I think."
"Okay, just don't go off-world without back up again."
"I was fine Jack. A little too fine. I had a body guard every step I took. Major Grady and Captain Gregory were under orders not to leave me alone. They were worse than you."
"Good men those two. So Hammond gave you some time off?"
"Two weeks. I go back the same day as you."
"Nice, feel up for a road trip?"
"Where?"
"Minnesota?"
"The cabin?"
"Yeah, I mean if you want to. I know it's a couple of hours away."
"Sixteen without stops."
"Okay, so more than a couple of hours. Anyway I thought a proper get away would be in order. Barely any reception and we can't be asked to just 'Pop in' to the SGC. I'd really like to go, figured you could use it too."
"And you need someone to drive you."
"Well there is that."

Daniel rolled his eyes and looked out the window.

"Seriously Danny, I'd love for you to see it."

Daniel turned and faced Jack. Their eyes locked and he could swear he saw…something.

*Stop it Daniel. This is a bad idea. You already have enough problems without throwing a romantic log cabin into the mix.* "So when do we leave?"

Jack's eyes lit up in a way that made Daniel's stomach clench.

"As soon as I can book a flight. I wasn't going to let you drive sixteen hours by yourself Daniel."

Daniel nodded and yawned,

"I really need sleep Jack. I think I'll go back to the apartment tomorrow, you obviously don't need me to hang around here."
*YES I DO!* Jack screamed internally. Outwardly he only shrugged, "You don't have to. We could go to Minnesota from here."
"I could, but I need to check my mail and feed the fish. Book the flights and call me with the details."
"Okay, well I'll see you in the morning anyway."

Daniel nodded and got up,

"I'll see you in the morning."
"Danny, I'm glad your home."

Daniel smiled tiredly, to Jack it was the most wonderful thing he had ever seen,

"Me too."

Under the heavens we journey far,
On roads of life we're the wanderers,


Thirty-six hours later Jack and Daniel were sitting in the terminal at Colorado Springs Airport. Jack had used his contacts to get them Business Class flights so they would be more comfortable.

Daniel couldn't say why but Jack seemed nervous. He'd been surprised when he'd been asked to tag along, especially when he knew it wasn't just so he could get Jack there. The cabin was practically sacred to the older man. He knew it had belonged to Jack's Grandfather and had been passed down to his father and now to him. Every time Jack spoke about the cabin his tone took on a quality that had Daniel mesmerised. Everything Jack did lately had Daniel mesmerised but the cabin was different. It was special; he couldn't wait to see it.

Jack had said he hadn't been in a while; it was at least six months because that's how long Daniel had been back. Daniel glanced again at Jack, who seemed to be looking at him,

*He's just nervous. He has nothing to be nervous about. If anything I should be the nervous one. The Springs are one thing, plenty of places I can go if I need to get away for a while. Two weeks in a secluded cabin, good thing I brought my Journal.*

In the past month his Journal had become pages of frustration and longing as Daniel wrote down his thought and feelings. Things he wanted to say to Jack but couldn't.

"You okay?" Daniel asked

"What? Me, I'm fine."
"Your fine or my fine?" Daniel asked seriously.
"My fine." *Except I'm about to spend a whole week with you with no one else around when all I want to do is pull you into my arms. Why wouldn't I be fine?*

"Okay. Want some coffee?"
"Sure, thanks."

Jack watched as Daniel walked away, his heart was pounding.

*This is ridiculous! How is this any different from when he stays at my place, or when I stay at his? It's just a different location. I hope he likes it. When did the thoughts and feelings of one man become the priority of my life? The day you admitted you love an Archaeologist, that's when. Yeah right, It was when that Archaeologist drew some squiggles on a window. Gah! Stop it Jack! You are an Air Force Colonel. You have better control than this. Get it together O'Neill!*

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath, when he opened them Daniel was standing in front of him holding two large cups of coffee. He looked concerned.

"You sure you're okay?" I have two weeks off, we can go next week when you're better."
"I'm okay, really. I'm just wresting with something."
"Can I help?"
"I wish you could." Jack gave him a sad smile, "No one can help with this."
"So I'm guessing that telling you to talk it out is a waste of breath?"
"Tried that. I've spoken to Carter and to Ellie, hasn't helped."
"Ahh, your mystery love, well if you want to chat some more I'm available."
"Thanks Danny."

They both looked up as their plane was called.

"Come on Dr Jackson, paradise awaits."

Jack hobbled away as Daniel reached for his laptop bag.

"This is going to be a long week." Daniel mumbled as he followed on.

Jack unlocked the door of his Minnesota cabin and let them both in. Daniel walked in behind him and mentally groaned,

*Damn it! It's beautiful, romantic; the lake is exactly how he described. I love it.*

"What do you think?"
"It's amazing, your Grandfather built it?"
"Kind of. The original home only had the kitchen and one bedroom. Poppy renovated it; extended it back so the bathroom was inside then added three new bedrooms and a living area."
"That's a ton of work."
"Took him eight years, he finished a few years after dad was born."

Jack showed Daniel through the rest of the house, giving him the choice of bedrooms before they emptied the car. They had stopped for groceries along the way and Daniel was surprised to find a rather large and fully equipped kitchen.

"The appliances are old, but they work." Jack apologised.
"It's amazing Jack. Seriously this whole place is wonderful, I've never been anywhere like it."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief and sunk down into a chair by the cold fireplace.

"Too bad it's so warm, you should see it with a fire."
"Maybe we should come back in winter. Does the lake freeze?"

Jack couldn't help the warm feeling flowing through him at the thought of coming back with Daniel.

"Yeah, it does."
"Thick enough to skate?"
"Yep. I used to practice hockey on it as a kid. It's how I taught Charlie to skate."
"Maybe you could teach me then."

Daniel smiled and went to get them both a drink. He settled down in the chair opposite Jack and picked up a book,

"That had better not be work related Daniel."
"Nope, plain old fiction. Not every book was designed for learning Jack."
"That's all right then. I'm going to head out to the lake and fish for a while."
"Good luck with that." Daniel laughed.

An hour later Daniel stretched and decided to take a closer look around the cabin. He took some time looking at the pictures on the wall. There were quite a few of Jack throughout his life, as well as his sister. Then came a picture of him and Sara. After that, the pictures of Charlie. Daniel stopped in front of one in particular; Charlie was sitting on Jack's shoulders. He looked to be about five or six.

*Almost the same age as when my mum and dad died.*

Daniel shook his head. He didn't need those thoughts creeping in at that exact moment, he had enough to deal with.

*Six days, you just need to get through six days.*

Daniel walked away from his thoughts and continued his exploration.


Jack casually threw his line into the still water It was so peaceful.

*This is my happy place, this and Disneyland. I think I'm going to retire here one day.*

The thought made Jack smile. The two places he loved were so different from each other. One represented serenity, peacefulness. The other, playfulness and fun. Complete opposites.

*Just like me and Daniel. He doesn't care the same way I do. He likes women just like I do…did…do…* "ARGH!"

Jack threw down his fishing rod in frustration.

"Just admit you won't catch anything and maybe it won't be so bad."
"Very funny Daniel."
"Seriously, I know I've already asked you but what's wrong?"
"It's nothing."
"Sure."

Jack looked up to find Daniel standing next to him, his arms wrapped around himself. It was a stance Jack wanted to eradicate completely.

"Daniel…Look I want to tell you, it's just not worth it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you here while I'm like this."
"I just don't understand why you think telling me your problems is a bad thing. I mean you tell me all the time to tell you mine. You'd be surprised how much 'krap' as you call it, I can take. But let me tell you, I'm not sorry I'm here. If you want me to go I'll go But I'm good here. So you're a little grumpy, I get grumpy too sometimes. Seriously! Wait till we have our first real Military vs. Culture debate. You had better watch out!"

Jack laughed and immediately felt the tension release from his shoulders.

"Look, I've been here for two hours. I almost didn't come for my own reasons but I'm kinda glad I did. If you want to spend the next week sorting through by yourself sorting through whatever it is you're dealing with then go for it. I can make myself invisible or even leave. Maybe it's the time-out you need."

Jack considered Daniel's words,

"Thanks Danny. I am really glad you came and I really want you to stay…but you didn't want to come? Why?"
"Not how it works O'Neill. You tell me yours and I'll tell you mine."
"I have a bottle of Jack Daniel's that could say otherwise."
"I'm pouring my own drinks this trip." Daniel laughed. The sound was music to Jack's ears. "Listen, I'm going to start Dinner. Thought I'd give you the heads up."
"Sounds good. This is relaxation time Daniel. Nothing too elaborate okay.
"What are you talking about? I'm just going to throw something together."
"Yeah right." Jack mumbled knowingly


###Daniels Journal###

'What am I doing here? I swear I've asked that question a hundred times since yesterday.'

'Jack's cabin is simply incredible. Like if I type 'Log Cabin' into Google it will be the first thing to come up. It's not the place itself that's giving me grief; It's the man I came here with.'

'Jack is being so infuriating, and he's acting very strange. Last night at dinner we were talking normally but over the course of the evening he would suddenly stop mid conversation and frown like he was trying to force himself not to talk. The problem is I can't see what the problem was!'

'We spoke a little about the lake and surrounding area and when I mentioned swimming he got quite animated but suddenly stopped. The same thing happened when I was talking about some renovations I was thinking about for the apartment. I mean I'd love to get a bigger bed in there, but as soon as I said something he changed the subject. I know everything is stemming from his problems with his mystery girl but I have no idea what it has to do with me.'

'Maybe it is Carter. Nope, Sam would have spilled by now. I never thought I would be such good friends with an Air Force Captain, didn't think it would happen with a Colonel either. Anyway if it's not Sam, who is it? Janet maybe? NO, she has Cassie now and I know Jack is happy to play uncle on that one. Who else do we both know well that would impact me in some way, maybe someone in my department…Anna? It would explain some of his behaviour whenever she's around. And she does work in my department which might cause some issues later on.'

'That must be it! There would be no issues in them dating as far as the Air Force was concerned, she's a civilian. That must be it, wow that sucks. Not as bad as if he was dating Sam but still. Now I'm being selfish. Fantastic, the one thing I said I wouldn't do and now I am.'

'Friend. Friend. Friend. Maybe if I say it enough I'll start to believe it. Jack and Anna. Anna and Jack. Maybe you can be best man. Whoa calm down Jackson, you haven't confirmed anything, Slow down. It does make sense though. Just ask him. I'll have to make sure he's in the right mood; he's been so touchy lately.

###End Journal Entry###

Daniel closed his journal and sat it on the ground next to him. It was their second day at the cabin and Daniel figured he could spend some time catching up on his thoughts.

The revelation of Anna made a few things fall into place, not necessarily Jack's behaviour the night before but Daniel concluded he would never be able to completely understand his friend, including how his mind worked. Now he just had to figure out how to bring up the subject.

Jack was once again down by the lake but he had taken his radio so Daniel was positive he wasn't fishing. Daniel picked up his book and grabbed a towel before he made his way down to the jetty.

He laid the towel out next to a support that went down into the lake and he leant back against it. Jack was lying back in his chair with his hat over his eyes; a classical melody was softly playing next to him

Between the music and his quiet tread Daniel had been silent in his activities which was why a few minutes later he was surprised that Jack spoke,

"Something on your mind Danny?"

Daniel looked at his friend trying to gauge his mood,

"How did you know I was here? You haven't moved."
"I'm that good." *And I'll always know when you're around.*

"Yeah right, I'm just enjoying this lovely Summer day. The season will change soon and I can read just as well outside as I can inside."
"Fair enough."

The pair continued in their silence, at one point Daniel stopped reading and just sat staring at the lake, his mind wandering.

"I'm going to miss this place."
"What was that?"

Daniel jumped slightly at Jack's voice,

"Huh? I didn't say anything."
"Yes you did. You said you were going to miss this place."
"Oh, sorry. I didn't realise I'd spoken out loud."
"So what did you mean? Are you going somewhere?"
"No I just…it's nothing."
"Come on Daniel, spit it out."

"Um, well okay. I love this place, I've told you that. I don't usually let myself love any place. Anyway I know at some point soon you'll start bringing your mystery woman which means I won't be able to come, and I'll miss it."

Jack lifted his hat back and looked down at his friend,

*I really shouldn't have told him I liked someone. Carter shouldn't have said anything, he's obsessed!*

Daniel was looking at him trying to figure out what was in his expression,

"Daniel I want you to listen to me very carefully okay. I won't ever stop you coming here. No matter what happens to you or me, you are always welcome here."

Daniel was surprised at Jack's declaration; he certainly hadn't expected an open invitation.

"Thanks Jack, that's really kind of you. What about your mystery woman, are you going to be so inviting if I crash your romantic getaways?"

Daniel laughed but seeing Jack's odd almost sad expression he let it die out.

"Don't worry, I'd never do that."

Jack put the hat back over his eyes and the day continued.

So let love rise, so let love depart,
Let hope have a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart


That evening Jack produced a chess set and the pair spent the time battling it out over the black and white landscape.

Jack had Daniel in stitches. He started making up a story based on the game they were playing. Daniel was white so he was obviously the good guys while Jack, well his evil snake king wanted to wipe out all of Daniel's good little teddy bears.

"Teddy Bears?" Daniel queried at one point,

"I wanted to get Charlie into chess so this was how we played. He liked to think of the pawns as bears."
"Teddy Bears it is then."

Daniel realised quite quickly that Jack was a very good player so his initial strategy wouldn't work but he decided to play it out anyway. It would mean losing but he would know for next time.

"The Evil Snake King has the beautiful Whit Queen in his sights!" Jack put forth with gusto as their game was coming to an end. Daniel laughed and pointed out the last few moves,

"But the Great King of Many Languages intercepts and now the Snake King must do battle with him instead!" Daniel picked up his king and made it dance around the board, "You will never have my Queen! If you wish to take advantage of someone it must be me!"

Daniel looked up from the board and was concerned to find Jack had stopped smiling,

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm pretty tired though. I'm going to bed, can you pack up here for me?"
"Sure."

Daniel was confused. He watched Jack get up and hobble down the hall, his door closing quite loudly behind him.

"What did I do?"

Daniel packed up the game and looked around; there was no obvious sign that anything was wrong. He added the night's events to his ever growing list.

*I'm not enjoying this trip so much any more.*

He was too upset to try and entertain himself any longer; following Jack's lead he went to bed.


In the other room Jack heard Daniel's door close,

*What the heck are you doing?* Jack wanted to hit something, for months he had kept his feelings under wraps, *What on earth has changed that you're suddenly struggling now!*

Ever since he had admitted to himself he loved Daniel he'd been second guessing every word that came from his mouth, but he still talked. Now he couldn't even joke with him.

*This is ridiculous.* Jack was at a loss, *I'm pushing him away and if I'm not careful he's going to run and I'll never get him back.*

He walked to the window and looked up at the clear black sky, the stars making themselves known,

*What should I do?*

When morning came Jack was still staring at the outside world. At some point he had migrated from his room to his seat by the lake, he had never slept and he was still no closer to figuring out a solution to his problem. He knew he would either have to try harder or let Daniel go. He would have to try harder.

The sun still hadn't officially risen when Jack got up to make some coffee. As he entered the house he almost fell over Daniel's duffle bag which was sitting by the door. He looked down at it, concerned what it might mean. When he looked up he found Daniel standing with his laptop.

"Going somewhere?"
"Well…yeah. I'm going home."
"Why?"

Jack knew the reason and Daniel knew Jack knew the reason but he still spoke what he'd been preparing all night to say.

"Jack, this place is amazing and I'm really glad I came but something is going on with you and it's not exactly helping me to have a good time. I don't know what's wrong and I don't know why you won't tell me and you know what, that's fine, it's your thing but until you figure it out I think it's best that I go."
"Daniel, no. Please I…"
"It's okay Jack. I don't mind that you aren't telling me but I can't help feeling that I keep doing things to upset you and I quite honestly don't know what it is I'm doing wrong."
"You aren't doing anything wrong Danny."
"Well evidence says otherwise. You've been angry and upset…distant. You can't even joke around and that's something I like about our friendship. You taught me it's okay to laugh. Jack we're friends but the way you've been behaving lately is horrible. I'm going home, use the next few days to figure stuff out because I don't know how much longer I can put up with it."
"Daniel…"

Jack was floundering, he couldn't let Daniel walk out the door but he didn't know how to make him stay.

"Daniel wait, please stay!"

Daniel rounded on Jack and or the first time Jack noticed how tired, red eyes.

*Didn't sleep either Danny…have you been crying?*
"Why Jack? Why shouldn't I leave? I'm not a hostage. You've been treating me like krap since we got here. Heck you've been acting strange since Antarctica, even before that actually! Sort it out because right now I really don't think I want to be around you." *Oh my God this hurts. Keep it together Daniel.*

Jack was feeling desperate. He was losing his best friend and he knew if Daniel walked out the door it would be the end.

"Daniel, I can't let you go. Please you can't leave."
"Why! Come on O'Neill; give me one good reason to stay!"

Jack raised his hands in a helpless gesture and Daniel nodded in acceptance. He went to walk past Jack again but found his arm caught in Jack's grip. As soon as Jack touched Daniel's arm he reacted.

He pulled Daniel to him and kissed him. It wasn't slow and sweet, it was desperate. Jack held Daniel's head in both hands and did what he'd been dreaming about for months.

It took only a few seconds for his brain to kick into gear. He pulled back and seeing Daniel's wide blue eyes staring at him he panicked. He took a step back, turned and ran out the door. He faintly registered that his foot hurt and that he shouldn't be running but there was nothing else he could do.

Look to love and you may dream,
And if it should leave then give it wings


Daniel watched him go.

*Oh my God!*

He raised a trembling hand to his lips where only moments earlier the man he loved had crushed them with his own. Daniel stared wide eyed at the open door. He was so unsure. The past few days he had seen Jack exhibit some very strange behaviour but this topped it all. He would still leave if Jack wanted him to but now he had to know for sure.

*No more assumptions.*

Daniel took a deep breath and followed the path Jack had taken. He walked quietly down to the lake edge. Jack was standing with his arms folded looking out over the water, his stance ridged.

The sun was starting to rise and mist was covering the surface of the lake, beams of fresh new light filtered through the trees.

Daniel was still in hock but the image of Jack standing next to the lake he loved so much helped him to focus.

*I love him.*

Daniel walked over and stood in front of Jack. He didn't respond but Daniel knew he was listening.


Jack had heard Daniel's footsteps but he had expected them to go in the opposite direction. When they walked toward him instead Jack wanted to disappear into the ground.

*You're so stupid Jack! What the hell did you think you were doing! He's definitely leaving now. WHY!*

Jack didn't move as Daniel stood in front of him. He wanted to look away but found Daniel's eyes holding his own.

*So blue*


Daniel calmed his breathing and looked straight into Jack's eyes,

"Jack, If that was some stupid game to confirm the rumours that I know are going around then you had better tell me now, I'm a big boy and I can take it."

Daniel paused for a moment before continuing,

"If it's a joke then you need to tell me, because I don't do one night stands."

With that Daniel rested a hand on jack's cheek and brought his lips to meet his own.


Jack couldn't believe Daniel was talking to him calmly

"…rumours that I know are going around then you had better tell me now, I'm a big boy and I can take it."

Jack couldn't speak, he knew what Daniel was talking about but he had always defended Daniel when he could.

*Dumb way to confirm a rumour Danny.*

"If it's a joke then you need to tell me, because I don't do one night stands."

*Yes, real funny joke Daniel; as if I'd joke about losing my career…hand on my cheek…what…Oh my God he's kissing me!*

Jack couldn't believe what was happening. Daniel, his best friend, the one person he could never hope to have was kissing him. Jack didn't know what to do, their first kiss had been an act of desperation, this was the opposite.


Daniel rested his lips lightly on Jack's, hesitant yet full of longing. Slowly he pressed in and pulled Jack closer. There was no rush, just simple exploration that had his heart beating a thousand miles an hour.

After a few seconds Daniel's heart thundered to a stop. Jack wasn't responding. He started to pull away,

*You're an idiot*


Jack felt Daniel pull away and he flicked his eyes down to see doubt and sadness run through his eyes. At that moment Jack knew he never wanted to see that expression again. He reached up and pulled Daniel to him, his lips parting under Daniel's. His heart soared as Daniel responded, his tongue slipping in next to Jack's.

Neither was aware of any time passing but Jack knew it had been forever when he finally broke away and took a deep breath. He tried to wipe away the tears running down Daniel's cheeks and was vaguely aware of the same happening to him. He brought Daniel closer into a hug. Both men were pretty much the same height but somehow they fit.

Daniel relaxed into Jack's embrace, his own arms finding their way around Jack's waist, his fingers rubbing lightly over the small of Jack's back..

"Danny." Jack whispered.

Daniel looked into Jack's eyes and their lips met again.

Eventually both men pulled away but neither was willing to let go of the other. Daniel looked down at their fingers still entwined, Jack looked down also. He brought their hands up and kissed their joined fingers.

"I…" Daniel didn't have any words. In the silence Jack's stomach grumbled causing both men to laugh.
"Trust me to ruin a moment."
"Well it is breakfast time."
"Stay." Jack asked again, this time Daniel nodded and they both headed back into the house.

Whilst Daniel put on a pot of coffee Jack's moved his bags back into the bedroom. When he came out he found a bowl of cereal waiting for him whilst Daniel was sitting on the couch almost in a ball nursing a cup of coffee.

*He looks scared, he isn't the only one.*

They had breakfast in silence after which Jack walked back into the living area. He sat next to Daniel, keeping a bit of distance between them in case one of them needed it. He was unsure where to start.

"Interesting morning." Jack stated.

Daniel nodded and Jack could tell his mind was ticking over, his eyes once again screaming with doubt. Jack smiled and leaned forward, pushing his way into Daniel's personal bubble,

"It's been a good morning." Jack whispered before kissing him again. Jack felt more than saw Daniel's mouth curve into a smile as their lips met. "That's better." Jack was also smiling as he sat back, "I much prefer you smiling."
"Me to." Daniel agreed, "You kissed me." Daniel couldn't believe the words were coming out of his mouth."
"Well yeah, I did. Is that okay?"
"Bit late now isn't it?" Daniel laughed."
"I guess it is."
"Why did you kiss me?" Daniel asked quietly
"I didn't want you to leave, I couldn't…I didn't know what else to do."
"Jack, I'm so confused, nothing is making sense. No offence but the last few days haven't been great between us and I have no idea why you're kissing me willingly and what about Sam and your mystery wo…oh"

Daniel's stream was cut off when he found Jack's mouth once again covering his.

"Wow." Jack exclaimed a few moments later, "If I'd known how easy it was to stop you talking I would have done that months ago." He smirked at Daniel who responded by hitting his arm. "Sorry, anyway the past few days have been my fault. I…Daniel, I've wanted this for such a long time but I'd convinced myself that you wouldn't want me and it's been harder and harder to keep it from you. I've been tormenting myself about it these past few days and I'm so sorry, I took it out on you. Danny I was so scared I would slip up and then I'd lose you forever, every time I found myself slipping I would shut you out. Like last night when we were playing chess, you said my King would have to take advantage of yours, I had to fight not to say anything. Then this morning I realised you were running away anyway, what did I have to lose?"

"Okay."

Jack could see the emotions in Daniel's eyes although his facial expression was as hard as stone.

*He doesn't believe me.*

Jack took Daniel's hand and linked it with his own,

"And as for my mystery woman, No one ever said it was a woman."

Daniel realised Jack was right and looked him straight in his eyes. For the first time Jack saw a glimmer of hope.

*That's right Danny, I'm all yours!*

"Daniel, when I was in that cave, I thought I was dead. I was in so much pain and it was bloody freezing! I started to hallucinate and I saw you, we talked. You told me to stay alive."
"I know." Daniel admitted, "I think I was there…dream."
"Oh sure."

Neither Jack nor Daniel had spoken much about their apparent dream sharing but Daniel was sure that's what had happened.

"I had fallen asleep. Anyway I woke up and you were gone. I knew that was it and I couldn't die without you knowing the truth."
"What truth?" Daniel questioned in a small voice,

"I love you." Jack spoke softly but Daniel's heart heard it loud and clear, "I love you Daniel Patrick Jackson. I love you so much."

This time Daniel was the one to break the bubble as he leaned forward over Jack,

"And I love you." He confirmed before closing the gap.

Jack reached up and ran his fingers through Daniel's hair pulling him closer. Jack could feel his body starting to react which surprised him, but it didn't at the same time. Jack finished the kiss and smiled up at the man you ruled his heart,

"You're amazing."
"I wouldn't go that far."

Daniel went to sweep some hair out of his eyes but Jack caught his hand and finished the movement for him.

"I've wanted to do that for ages." Jack acknowledged with a soft smile. Daniel shook his head and smiled back,

"What about Sam?"
"Well I realised later, after that nightmare a few weeks back that Sam had been conscious during my little declaration and I had to see where she stood. She could have potentially ruined my career."
"Don't ask, don't tell."
"Exactly, but she was okay and she said she wouldn't say anything."
"Will it be okay?"

Daniel was worried about what everything would mean, but he wasn't worried about himself.

"Daniel, I honestly don't know what this even is, we both have a lot we need to sort through. If this…us, isn't what you want then fine, it's nothing. I want you to be happy, it's all I want. But until you tell me otherwise I'm not letting you go. I don't care about the Air Force or anyone else for that matter. I care about you, I love you and that's all that matters."

Daniel still had doubts. Jack was right, they had a lot to sort through, one thing in particular which was troubling him greatly but he could think about that later.

"Do you want me to leave you alone Danny?"

Jack's voice broke through the haze of his mind and he realised that at least on one matter his mind was made up.

"No."

Daniel stretched out a little to lie on top of Jack who brought his arms around the younger man's waist,

"Don't let me go anywhere."

Daniel listened to jack's beating heart, the strong sound lulling him into a daze. He hadn't slept the night before and he could feel it catching up to him now.

"Don't let me go." He whispered.

Jack placed a soft kiss on the top of his head. The trust Daniel was putting in him at that moment was huge, he never wanted to lose that. What would come would come but hope had found a place inside him and he knew it was there to stay.

"Always." He whispered as Daniel breathing turned soft and even, "Always."

But if such a love is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free.
Hope is home, and the heart is free.

The End…For Now