I finally got this figured out. I was so stuck in one part and ended up having to revamp it. I'm sorry it took so long, but it took till half-way through my spring break for me to get the time to work on everything. Only a few more chapters left after this! Either two or three!


This is War:

Chapter Ten: The Truth of Who We Are.

Spock stood in front of the door, waiting for the occupants to answer his knock. He could hear the rustling of clothes, bodies stumbling and a male voice cursing. Finally, the door swung open.

Nyota stood there, mouth slightly agape at the sight of him. She wore a light robe and, as far as Spock could see, nothing else. She jumped up and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck for a few seconds before dropping back down. There was no warning before she slapped his cheek.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," she scolded. "You'll make me old before my time!"

"I apologize, Nyota. It was not my intention," he replied solemnly.

"Oh, Spock," she whispered before hugging him again. She quickly stepped back, though, and pulled him into her rooms.

Doctor McCoy sat on her rumpled bed. His cheeks were flushed and his hair bedraggled. He wore no socks or shoes and his shirt was inside out. Spock raised a brow at him and the human flushed even more.

"Leonard. Spock," Nyota chided.

"I apologize for interrupting," Spock said, causing both humans to look away. "I had been told that you expected me to visit today."

"It's alright, Spock," Leonard said. "Looks like you and Jim do have something in common. Horrible timing. Ask him about it. The stories he can tell."

"Leonard, why don't you go to the bathroom and," Nyota paused, "straighten up."

The older man blinked before looking down and groaning. He stood and walked out of the room, leaving the two friends behind.

"Nyota, I am sorry that I—"

The woman shook her head and gestured for him to sit on her bed as she slipped on pajama bottoms under her robe and pulled a large t-shirt over her head. She pulled the robe off, that was tucked under the shirt, before sitting. Spock sat at the foot, slightly uncomfortable with the knowledge of what had been occurring in this bed very recently. "Don't worry about it, Spock. Now, you have that look on your face. Tell me what's going on."

Spock tilted his head to the side, confused. "What look?"

Nyota sighed, exasperated. "You know what look. Your 'I'm-perplexed-by-you-illogical-humans' look. I'll go out on a limb here and say that it's because of Jim."

Spock ignored the illogical parts of her statement and nodded. "Nyota, he is… rather baffling. Among some of his erratic actions, he verbally attacked me for not letting emotion cloud my judgment and then rescued me from Whibley. Then he bonded with me. I do not understand him."

"I believe I can answer that."

Nyota looked up and Spock turned to see Leonard, clothes righted. He walked over and sat on what used to be Gaila's bed.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it," Leonard told them. He turned to face Spock. "Jim explained to me why he said what he did. He was told to do whatever he had to to make you show emotion. He wishes he could have done something else."

"He was under orders from my counterpart?"

Leonard's eyes widened and then he started laughing. "That old goblin! He pulled the wool over Jim's eyes!"

"Doctor?"

"It's Leonard," he said, shaking his head and still chuckling. "So you've met Selek?"

Spock nodded.

"Hard to believe he's you," the doctor kept chuckling.

"Leonard, I disagree. The timeline diverged twenty-five years ago, changing the events of our past from our counterparts in the elder's universe—"

"Spock," Leonard groaned. "Can we get back to topic?"

"Of course, Leonard."

"Anyways," he continued. "I've never seen Jim so determined. I had to make him attend classes so that he wouldn't fail. Not to mention eat and sleep. Despite the way your relationship started, Jim feels something for you."

"Spock, I've never been a fan of Jim, but he was constantly looking for you or thinking of it," Nyota told him, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Spock nodded. He looked up at his friend. Her dark face was alight and she glanced at the doctor, a smile on her face.

"Nyota, may I ask a personal query?" Spock whispered. Leonard took the hint and stood, before walking to the other side of the room to give them a little privacy.

"Of course," she answered, leaning forward slightly.

"Are you content with your arrangement with the doctor?"

Nyota tilted her head to the side. "Are you asking if I'm happy?" Spock nodded. "Spock, I'm happier than I've ever been. Leonard… he's perfect for me."

Spock nodded, digesting this new information. He could see, but he wanted her verbal confirmation.

"Spock, are you asking because of Jim?"

The Vulcan considered lying, but decided against it. "Partially."

"Spock," Nyota whispered, squeezing his cloth-covered wrist. "Jim's a good guy. He understands what's going on and he'll take care of you."

"Nyota, thank you," Spock told her. "I believe I will take me leave so that you and Leonard can return to your… activities."

Nyota grinned. "Thanks, Spock. I'm always here if you need to talk to someone. Just make sure you call first."

Spock nodded before standing. Leonard followed him to the door.

"Spock, I'm going to stay here for a while," the doctor told him. "You and Jim can have the apartment to yourselves." He looked back at the girl sitting on her bed, trying to not look like she was listening to their conversation. Leonard lowered his voice. "She needs me here. She misses Gaila."

"I agree," Spock nodded. "She and Gaila were quite close."

"Alright," Leonard said. "If you need me, I'm just a comm away."

"Yes, doctor," Spock answered before leaving the apartment. When he stepped outside he looked up. It was still early for him to return. Jim would not be there yet and he didn't want to stay there alone. He decided to leave campus and walk to the commercial district close by.

He looked through windows as he passed, thinking over his situation. He did not know if he trusted Jim yet, in spite of what their friends had said. And yet Spock could not deny that he found Jim attractive and knew that the same was true for the human.

The bell clinked over the door as Spock walked into a small shop. There were only a few beings there, most likely tourists.

"Can I help you, sir?" a middle-aged human male asked.

There was only one way that Spock could face Jim without fear and touch him and be touched.

"Yes, do you have any chocolate?"


Jim sighed as he lifted his bag further up his shoulder from where it had slipped down. He stepped in and quietly shut the door behind him.

"Spock," he called. "Are you here?"

His only answer was silence. Jim shrugged, thinking that Spock must still be with Uhura, who still wouldn't answer on whether her name really was Nyota.

Jim loosened his jacket as he walked towards his room, shutting the door behind him as he shed the jacket and dropped his bag. He crossed his arms and pulled his shirt over his head.

"Jim."

He spun, tangling his head and arms within his shirt and nearly slipping. He quickly pulled the shirt off and stared at Spock.

The Vulcan was sitting in his bed, under the comforter. Although that wouldn't be considered completely abnormal, what made it that way was the distinct lack of clothing that Jim could see on the other male. His cheeks were flushed a pale green. Jim swallowed when he saw the hard green-tinged nipples on the other male's chest.

"Spock, what's going on?"

Spock shakily stood and crossed the room to Jim. That lack of clothing that Jim had seen? It continued from under the blanket. Jim couldn't help but to admire the simple beauty of the man.

"I am yours, Jim," Spock said quietly, kissing his cheek and then his lips.

Jim pushed him away to arm's length and held him there even though the half-Vulcan fought back half-heartedly. He could see the fear and sadness in those dark eyes.

"Oh, Spock," Jim whispered. "You don't owe me anything, much less sex."

Spock's impossibly dark eyes clouded. "Do you not desire me?"

Jim squeezed a hand around one of Spock's biceps and tried not to look further down than his neck. "You know I desire you, Spock, but I don't think you're ready."

"But I say I am," Spock shook his head, for all the world looking like a petulant child. There was something peculiar about that and how he had acted so out of character through this entire conversation…

Jim looked past him and saw, there, by his bed, an empty wrapper. An empty chocolate wrapper. Shit. Bones had given him his xeno-biology notes on Vulcans and there had been a few paragraphs dedicated to the effects the confection had on the alien species. Namely, that it acted as alcohol did on humans, as an intoxicant. He looked back at Spock in time to see a green-tinged tongue swipe across his lips.

"Spock," he said softly. "Did you eat chocolate?"

Spock bit his lip. "I might have."

Jim sighed and let go of his arms to run a hand through his blond hair. "Great."

"May I ask what is 'great'?"

Jim glanced up. "Come on. Let's get you back in bed before you crash."

He was taken by complete surprise when the Vulcan took his hand and pulled him to the bed and pushed him down before covering his body with his own. Jim's cries were muffled by the lips covering his that still carried the taste of the sweet candy the Vulcan had consumed earlier. Finally, Jim managed to push him away enough to draw in a few much-needed breaths.

"Spock, what the hell do you think you are doing?"

Spock blinked slowly. Jim noticed that his pupils were so dilated that there was only a sliver of their normal brown surrounding them. Jim cursed inwardly. The damn Vulcan was blitzed.

"I had thought you had wanted to partake of sexual congress with me," Spock said, sitting back up, slowly, wobbling slightly. "Forgive me if I was—"

"Damn it, Spock!" Jim cursed and grabbed the Vulcan's arm and pulling him down on top of him. "I do want to have sex with you, but I don't want you to be drunk when we do!"

Spock lay limp in his arms, shocked. He could feel the sincerity through their contact and the newly-unblocked bond they shared. He only absently wondered when his mental barriers had come down.

"Why did you feel that you needed to be drunk to have sex with me?" Jim asked softly.

Spock closed his eyes and curled his fingers into a loose fist where they lay on Jim's chest. "I-I knew that I would fear this. My last bond…did not go well. I was…afraid to join another and when I learned that you had bonded with me, I was even more afraid." Spock braced his hands on either side of Jim's chest and pushed up till he could see the man's face. "You had every right to hate me after what I did. I nearly killed you. Twice."

"I don't hate you, Spock," Jim whispered. "Quite the opposite."

Spock looked down at them both. Their bare stomachs brushed, blocking his view of them any further down. He pulled away and began to clamber off the other man.

"I should get dressed," he said, cheeks tinted green.

A hand caught him and then a pair of arms pulled him back down. "Stay."

Spock nodded and tried to suppress a shiver. The room was much cooler than what he would have liked. Jim seemed to read his mind.

"Are you cold?"

Spock nodded and Jim shifted them until they lay on their sides, covered by the blankets and arms wrapped loosely around each other. "Have to take care of my Vulcan," Jim chuckled and caressed his cheek.

They lay in silence, but Spock soon became uncomfortable. "There must be something you wish to be doing—"

"This beats everything," Jim interrupted, but he noticed the other man's discomfort. "But why don't we talk?"

"What do you wish to talk about?"

Jim shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me about this whole 'dominant/submissive' thing. I know it's been a popular sex craze since the twenty-first century at least, but I don't know much about it and it doesn't seem as…similar to this."

Spock jerked back. "You do not know what our situation entails?"

"You were dying, Spock," Jim said dryly. "Excuse me for not doing my homework. I knew the basics. The details didn't really matter."

Spock turned his head and hid his face in the pillow beside Jim's neck. "Why?"

"I was once told that I had an instinct to 'leap without looking,'" Jim told him, nonchalant. "It's hereditary."

A hand stroked the back of Spock's neck as he regained control of himself. Finally, he removed his face from the pillow and laid his head in the space between Jim's shoulder and collar bone.

"It is a genetic anomaly that has appeared in many species, including humans and Vulcans. It is also often hereditary. The 'sexual craze' that you spoke of was partially inspired by it.

"Over time, Vulcans adapted so that those who possessed these traits would have a higher chance of survival. At the time of their birth, we have marks showing what our nature is," he raised his arm, showing Jim the mark that was beginning to fade. "This is the mark of a nepik, a submissive."

He dropped his arm, allowing the still-stroking hand to relax him. "Vulcan's are traditionally betrothed near the age of seven so that if the submissive partner's condition awakens or," Spock flushed, but continued, "one of them begins pon farr, our mating cycle, they have a mate who can take care of their needs. After a submissive loses their virginity, the condition most often begins to recur soon after.

"When my bond was dissolved I came to Earth and nearly died because I didn't know how to care for this," Spock admitted. "Nyota saved my life and she and her mother taught me what I needed to know."

Spock swallowed, cheeks warming. "We must be dominated. If we exceed an amount of time without this, our bodies begin to shut down."

"Bones told me that part. I thought he was kidding at first," Jim said, holding Spock closer. "I never thought this could happen."

"It is still not widely known," Spock told him. "Only a quarter of those in the federation would be considered submissive. Dominants are more fortunate as they are seen as normal and often do not ever realize their nature."

"Am I a dominant?"

Spock closed his eyes, but nodded.

"Was your last bondmate one?"

"Yes," Spock whispered.

"What'd he do to you, Spock?" Jim whispered as one of his fingers stroked the Vulcan's temple and cheek.

Spock shook his head. His throat seemed to be closing up.

"Tell me, Spock," Jim ordered, sounding as he did when he was acting captain. "I can feel everything you're feeling through the bond."

The Vulcan tried to pull away, but Jim kept his arms tight around him, locking him to his chest.

"Tell me, Spock! You need to tell someone!"

"He raped me!" Spock cried. "Is that what you want to hear?"

Jim held him tight as the emotions he had confined for so long finally poured out. He stroked his back and remained silent as sobs quaked through the other male's frame.

"I was fifteen when Stonn entered Pon Farr," Spock said when he could finally speak, sis voice weak and weary. "Although I didn't expect him to be gentle, I did expect him not to intentionally harm me." He swallowed. "Through his time and even after, Stonn never showed me kindness."

"He abused you?" Jim said in a strangled whisper.

"Please," Spock sighed. "I don't know if I can continue if I stop."

Jim nodded.

"After we had been bonded for three-point-two years, I learned I was pregnant. Stonn…did not want to have a child with me. I lost it the day we found out. Our bond was broken and I came to Earth to escape bonding to another that could be like him."

Jim held him as he trembled, memories of his past plaguing his mind. Those visions traveled through the bond to Jim, but he didn't speak of what he saw.

"I won't be like him," he whispered. "I will never hurt you."

"You cannot promise that," Spock replied.

"I can try," Jim told him stubbornly. He pulled the Vulcan closer. "But…you can get pregnant?" his voice sounded unsure.

Spock closed his eyes, but nodded.

"You're so amazing," Jim whispered. "I gave up on ever having children when we bonded, but now… God, you're wonderful."

"You do not mind?" Spock asked, shocked.

"Nope," Jim replied. "Now, you're going to hate yourself in the morning, so go to sleep. Good thing it'll be the weekend and I'll be able to stay and take care of you and your hangover."

Spock's eyes fluttered shut and he felt both his physical tiredness and emotional exhaustion begin to pull him under.

"Jim," he murmured.

"Hmm?" the human answered, rubbing a hand up and down Spock's bare back.

"Thank you."


Okay, I feel like my drunk Spock pretty much sucked, but let's just pretend that it makes them lose that precious control of their emotions. And very talkative. Don't forget to review. Reviews almost always make me work that much harder!