Sorry about the length- I didn't want to break this part down for pacing, and it's now the longest part by far. Please enjoy it all, and thanks to Midirin for beta-ing duties~

Disclaimer: Disclaimer 2: One Piece isn't mine who?

-still continued from previous disclaimers-

The Mighty Captain Usopp's Great and Wonderful Journey into another Dimension 11- The climax (get it?)

Boa Hancock strode into her room, expression high and haughty. She already knew the boy Luffy had managed to escape from her room, considering the battle that had gone on, but she was unprepared for the state of her quarters. Furniture was unrecognizable, wood, cloth and ceramic lying brokenly across the floor. What had gone on in here?

"Vivi," drawled Hancock. "What are you doing in my quarters without my permission? This room looks like a bomb has hit it."

"Ah, Captain! I'm so glad you're back, please don't be mad!" Vivi prostrated herself at Hancock's feet, hoping she was in a merciful mood.

No, prostrated doesn't mean what it sounds like it should mean. She was grovelling, explained the mysterious-yet-definitely-handsome omnipresent narrator.

"What. Happened. Vivi?" thundered Hancock, in no mood for the answer.

"Well, the male Luffy, he escaped, and he used some kind of rubbery technique. I tried to stop him, I did!" Fortunately, Hancock's fury prevented her from questioning what Vivi had been doing near her room in the first place, or how his devil fruit had helped him remove seastone handcuffs, which should have prevented his power in the first place.

Ready to scream in frustration, Hancock lashed out, her heel meeting Vivi's stomach. She kneeled over, not daring to strike back. Head down, Vivi tried not to make a noise as Hancock went and prepared things for a bath.

"Stay here and tidy up," Hancock spoke like she wasn't there. "I'll be checking on your progress shortly."

Vivi went to answer her obediently, but Hancock had already left for the adjoining bathroom. Oh, Hancock could be cruel . . . why had she left her kingdom in the first place? It felt so long ago, and so distant. Still, she was as good as stuck here- Hancock wouldn't take too kindly to any deserters.

It wasn't just her fierce need to control everything, she mused. The crew knew enough to take her down, and send her to jail if they ever worked together and went public with news of her 'activities'. Unfortunately, all of the others enjoyed life on this boat, and were just as guilty of the same crimes. Forcing herself to smile, Vivi started collecting pieces of china that used to be an imperial vase.

-up on the deck, at roughly the same time-

Zoro grunted, taking another step. She was currently heading upstairs; sure this way led out to the deck. She could even smell the salt on the waves, if she could just make it there- it was slow going lugging such a heavy statue. And boy, for someone as obsessed with her image as Nami, her bust sure was heavy. The statue kind, I mean, although her actual bust was probably weighty as well.

See, Zoro had wandered aimlessly until she found a statue that looked suspiciously like Nami, and had decided to take it along with her. Seeing what had happened to Sanji, it didn't take a genius to figure out she had also been turned into stone. Unfortunately, Zoro being Zoro, the statue was up above her head in one hand like a weight, which should have made it impossible to move around freely for a normal person.

Of course, she had also wandered aimlessly more until all of her swords were found in some treasury, until there was a snail-like trail of blood from her injuries crossing the entire hallway of the lower decks. Dropping Nami next to her, she quickly realised all of the remaining life boats were gone. Frowning, Zoro continued searching until she found both miniature Going Merry's, complete with paddles, anchored next to the ship.

She knew, in the back of her mind, that some of the others must then be onboard, and have come separately for some reason, but she really didn't care. She was still bleeding freely, was badly injured, and really needed a drink. Besides, it was important to get Nami to safety or something, right? So, treading over to Nami's statue again, she lifted and dropped her from the side of the ship, all the way down.

With a small thud, she landed on the passenger side of the little boat, just as Zoro leaped down to meet her, skirt flying wildly as she dropped. Settling down comfortably, Zoro began to row back to the others, having taken the broken life boat Perona had used by accident. Still, she probably would have rowed anyway, and all exercise was good, so she didn't really mind.

It was after a good ten minutes of rowing that it occurred to her she could be going the wrong way.

It was hard to tell, seeing as there was thick fog smothering the air around her like a blanket of feather down pillows. Not only that, but she had no idea if their ship, the Thousand Sunny, had moved since she was kidnapped, where it was originally in relation to the Kuja's ship, or how to navigate and go in a straight line while on the ocean.

This could be a problem . . .

Perpendicular to Zoro's current direction, the Thousand Sunny currently drifted slightly across the waves. Franky was distracted from his sailing as Chopper and Robin had just arrived, weak and injured. Robin had used her Hana Hana no Mi, sprouting a succession of eyes on the palms of her many hands, and had managed to find the ship after a short while.

Currently, they were fighting over who should go back and support the rescue attempt. Chopper insisted that Robin was too injured from her imprisonment, and the various 'exercises' Kalifa had enjoyed with her. Simultaneously, she knew his injuries were worse, and was trying to keep him on the boat.

Sighing, Franky was trying to convince them that they could both rest, and keep him company if they really wanted to. If Usopp-bro managed to free any of the others, they'd be able to fight through pretty much anyone that stood against them. Besides, Perona had gone to investigate a small boat of some kind, and was probably helping him right now.

With a longing look at Sanji's statue, Chopper had agreed, resting with the conviction that he had to be alert when he healed whatever injuries they came back with.

This discussion was aided by a certain octopi, eyes streaming with tears, nose streaming with something else, as he hugged each and every one of them too often. Except for maybe Franky, who was the kind of guy to get emotional.

For Hatchi, their friendly neighbourhood stalker, had returned with Luffy's statue, which was currently propped next to Sanji's on the deck. His joy at being onboard their ship- the Strawhat's ship!- was evident, as he began kissing and hugging every plank of wood.

It was really kind of annoying, but he had helped them, and from the sound of it Nami already knew he was there. Considering she was the one who hated Mermen the most, often insisting they should have their own toilets and areas to live in, there was little Franky could do to stop him. The idea of sending out the kid to help battle did occur to him, but Hatchi really wasn't up to much in a fight, and getting him off the boat would require force.

The short of all this meant that every Strawhat (and one ally) was accounted for, and off the boat safely, except for Usopp and Perona.

They were completely alone on the ship, and Boa Hancock, Vivi, and the remaining crewmates in their rooms were all ready to fight. Sure, Hancock was heavily injured, but her power was still as impossible to block as before. Vivi was injured, yes, but Perona was equally tired from such frequent use of her Positive Hollows.

They were, effectively, screwed. The betting odds for the upcoming battle were enough to make any gambling man flinch. It was the sort of thing, were they to win, that the sports broadcast on TV would call it 'a true underdog story'. It would even be tougher than Zoro's cooking.

-But enough hype, lets go somewhere completely unrelated, shall we?-

Ms Golden Week was currently lying sideways across her boat, shoes floating on the surface of the water. She was close to unconsciousness, experiencing a very vivid and entertaining dream thanks to her current high. Perona had dispersed the few ghosts keeping watch over her, after realizing this girl had, somehow, overdosed and put herself into a happy coma.

As such, she was currently in a blissful world without the effects of the ghosts, and would probably stay that way for a while. Thankfully, no one from her ship would arrive to see her like this in time, as preoccupied as they were with what happened next, so there was no way they could yell at her for losing so contentedly.

So Ms Golden Week continued to shine, drink pudding, and play with butterflies with striped socks, taken care of for the entire duration of this plot arc. Er, I mean night.

-meanwhile, over where the wild things roam. If the wild things were civilized people on a ship, that is. Not that any of them were particularly civilised, with the possible exception of Vivi, but you understand what I'm trying to say-

Usopp stood before a large, imposing double-door. It spoke of power and authority, intricately carved patterns over red and golden wood. Gulping, he tried to think of the plan he had for battle, which was only half-formed.

It was somewhat easier to imagine Hancock was only a human like him when he looked to his side, at a badly patched over hole in the wall. It practically screamed 'Luffy' not to bother using a door, and he was pretty sure he could tell by the shape of the outline as well.

"Okay," he whispered, drawing Perona over to his side. "I'd say Luffy's managed to escape, so she might not even be in there. However, we have to be prepared." Perona nodded her assent to everything he said, an overly-serious expression on her face.

"So, here's what we'll do. You go in first, and swarm the place with ghosts. Make sure you hit anyone who might be in. Then-"

"Um, Usopp?" Perona raised a hand up, as if she was in grade school.

"Yeah?"

"I have about enough for four more hollows, or so. I'm kinda exhausted from another battle I had," she offered as an explanation, smiling as she knocked herself on the head.

"You tell me this now!" Usopp freaked out, hands on his face reminiscent of the classic The Scream painting by Edvard Munch. Shivering, he realised all of his plans had relied on the girl stunning people for a surprise attack by him. Now . . . he'd have to fight fairly!

"Who's there?" a sharp tone sounded from inside. Usopp looked up, just in time to see Vivi open the door and glare at them. Crap, he was too loud!

Before he could speak, a long whip-weapon had picked him up, hauling him into the room with a thud.

"Usopp!" Perona ran in, as Vivi lashed out at her with her whip.

Looking around, Usopp quickly took stock of his surroundings. Ruined carpet for floor, remains of a chandelier and some china stuff decorated on top of it. One side had a gigantic, four-poster bed (also wrecked), and the other had a huge window, which was shattered open. Finally, a door near the entrance led to an adjoining room, which was shut.

"Do as I say, Perona! Those ghosts have to count!" yelled Usopp nervously, as he fired several flame stars at Vivi. Was she really their opponent? It felt weird to strike the blue-haired princess, but she attacked them first.

Vivi leaped backwards, avoiding the attacks. She sent out a snaking strike with her whip, which hit Usopp right across the chest. He'd missed with the impact dial that time- the whip was so small and fast, he couldn't block it properly.

"Perona, an exploding ghost, now!" he cried, readying his Kabuto.

"Okay!" she dutifully agreed, a bouncing, smiling version of her combustive ghost appearing next to her. Vivi leapt backwards, her chain striking it before it could get close to her, wasting the explosion.

Oh man.

"Retreat for now! She's too tricky!" decided Usopp, his legs powering him away to the exit. Unfortunately, Vivi merely laughed, throwing him away from the door with her whip-chain thing. She was really winning a battle! Wow! Her eyes shone- this was one of the few times she'd felt so empowered in weeks.

"Okay then . . . depression ghost, quickly!" yelled Usopp, firing off random caltrops and jalapeƱo stars in the hopes of distracting her.

Head cocked to one side, Perona looked at him, "You a mean positive ghost?"

"Yeah, one of those, just right now!" He panicked, not realising he'd slipped up.

Perona complied, a grinning spirit chasing Vivi around the large room. She twirled and danced across the ruined floor, back flipping off the chandelier with fluid movements. Perona's eyes shone, as she imagined being able to move like that herself- gymnastics were super cute! Shaking her head, she admonished herself; now wasn't the time.

Vivi continued to spin across the room, avoiding Perona's hollow along with Usopp's frenzied attacks. She danced towards Perona, lashing out with a kick-whip combo that sent her into the wall.

"Perona!' Usopp yelled, as his only ally bounced to the floor, and her ghost faded with the impact. A flurry of attacks with his Kabuto (and one rubber band) forced Vivi to ease away, giving the lolita girl time to get back up.

"Her speed's her main advantage- we just have to stop her somehow . . ." mused Usopp, trying to think. His new dial was useless against her attacks, so he wasn't sure how he could do this. Wait- his new dial!

"Perona, send one at me!"

"Why? You'll lose then, Usopp-sop!" Perona halted, undecided.

"No, trust me, just do it!" He cried, voice quivering like a little girl's. Please work, please work, please work!

The positive hollow swept across the room, landing into Usopp's outstretched dial. The little black machine whirred slightly, as his tightly gripped arm began to tense up.

"Osmose dial!" he cried, as his entire body became albescent and milky white, the window behind him visible through his chest all of a sudden.

Perona's eyes became as wide as dinner plates, as Vivi stopped in her tracks, eyeing the boy warily. What had just happened?

Usopp ran at her, brandishing his Kabuto like a staff, as Vivi dodged to her side. Whatever it was, she was sure she could still beat him- he was sticking to attempted close-range attacks, which she was best at dealing with.

Her chain whipped through the air, slicing through the translucent Usopp with no effect.

"What?" She froze, unsure of how to act, as Usopp charged. No matter how she ducked, weaved and spun, her dodging was getting her nowhere if she couldn't fight back. Her whip continued to pass harmlessly through Usopp, who was grinning in the way only a lifelong coward who had suddenly become invincible can.

Changing tactic, she decided to go on the offensive, and strike him directly. Maybe if she got her hands on that weird cog-thing, she could hit him again?

Which was exactly what Usopp had hoped for. As soon as he was at close range, he slammed a fist into her, knocking Vivi back. At this moment, several things happened.

Pop! Usopp went back to normal, transparency gone.

Vivi flew backwards, landing on the ground with no sign of resistance.

Her face also changed, as she happily lost herself in the positive hollow stupor.

"Usopp, you did it!" Perona ran forward, hugging him tightly.

"Uh, yeah. Quickly, tie her up!" Usopp ran to her whip, trying to make sure Vivi couldn't fight them any longer. He really was unwilling to hurt the girl- he still saw his nakama when he thought of Vivi.

"But how'd you do it?"

"My Osmose Dial. It absorbs any attack sent at me," grinned Usopp. He rubbed a finger under his nose as he explained it, enjoying the chance to brag.

"Unlike the Impact Dial, which sends attacks straight back out, this one transforms my body into the attack. Get it?"

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"I didn't feel a thing!" at this point, his arms were on his hips, standing tall next to the defeated Vivi, as the door opened. "I can defeat anyone on the grand sea!"

Usopp stared. Perona stared. Hancock, who had just entered the room, stared.

"Is that so, male," whispered the sultry captain. She really had had enough of the Strawhats to last a lifetime. Defeat anyone? Ha! She'd show him.

Usopp leaped backwards, eyes popping out as he saw her. She hadn't been defeated yet? Well, there went his last hopes. Perona stood next to him, glaring and rubbing her side, still injured. Vivi suddenly woke up and started struggling against her whip, which was tied into two extravagant, pretty bows.

Cleverly, she had been tied to one of the posts on the bed, and was weak enough after all that running and her fight with Luffy to remain caught. So that took care of one opponent, thought Usopp as he adjusted his stance nervously.

Hancock stood at the opposite end of the room, gaze cool and collected. It was around this point in time Usopp noticed that she had just come from the bath or shower. Her hair was still glistening and clung to her neck and back, and small droplets of water shone along her skin. She was only clad in a bath towel, which was mercifully supported by her figure, and was long enough not to show anything.

"Usopp, don't you dare look at her!" demanded the smaller, noticeably thinner girl next to him.

"How could anyone not?" Hancock laughed.

"Let's just defeat her, hurry up and use your ghost!" Usopp stared at the floor as he said this, worried about turning into a statue.

"How dare you say I'm not attractive enough to be kidnapped! You'll pay for that," fumed Perona.

"If anyone can decide who isn't sexy, it's me!" Hancock arrogantly tossed her hair back, getting annoyed with this little girl's behaviour.

"Who cares about that? Sexy's a look for middle-aged hags who can't be cute anymore." Perona spoke confidently, relishing the vein that burst on Hancock's forehead to that last remark.

"Wow, she sure can hold a grudge, huh . . . ?" muttered Usopp, wondering how long this would go on for. He made a small mental note that the Perona in his world was probably just as mad at him- he'd have to sleep with one eye open.

"Hurry up and get her! What if we're turned to stone?" he hissed at Perona. For her part, she was so sure Usopp would never look at Hancock that it really wasn't a concern.

"Just do it!" Usopp wasn't sure how much longer his legs would hold out, as they shook loudly in fear.

"Alright! Positive hollow- go!"

Perona wiped sweat off her forehead as she mustered up one last spirit, and it flew straight into Hancock. So convinced nothing would attack her that she couldn't beat, she didn't see it coming, and the ghost was a direct hit.

There was a small moment where her expression didn't change. Had it worked? Then, her eyes glazed over, and she started to move her hands up and down, as if grabbing something.

"Oh . . . harder . . ." she murmured, as Usopp wondered what exactly her happiest dream was.

"Yes! HARDER! FASTER!" Cried Hancock, getting more and more excited. Sweat dripped off the back of Usopp's head, as he realised exactly what kind of thoughts she was heaving. He quickly began attacking Hancock, setting caltrops around the captain, dousing her with gooey bombs and shooting stars at her to little effect.

She continued to rock back and forth, enjoying her fantasy far too much to be socially appropriate. "YES! OH YES! OHHHHHHH~" Hancock sunk to her knees, having just orgasmed in front of Usopp- a sight almost as terrifying as it was a turn on.

"Usopp, keep attacking!"

"Huh, what?" Was all he had time for, before Hancock rose up to her feet. Looking down slightly and blushing, she realised what had happened, but quickly turned those feelings into anger.

"How dare you deceive me! What was that!" She patted out the few bullets that had struck her, which were nothing compared to the attacks she had suffered from Luffy.

Usopp gulped. "Any ideas now?"

"That was my last hollow! How dare you get distracted and waste it!" Perona hit him on the head, frustrated.

Hancock leered, staying put where she was amongst the spiked caltrops he had scattered. "I don't even have to move to defeat you!" she declared, dropping her towel a few inches. Usopp looked down right away, narrowly avoiding a direct gaze, but Perona was hit with the full force of the deadly surprise attack.

She gazed in wonder for a moment, weakened, before Hancock pulled another, more suggestive pose. It was working, as her drool attested to, but not as well as it had on Nami. She thought for a moment, before leaping over the caltrops to a chest of drawers near her bed. Usopp flinched backwards, trying to flee, but Perona wouldn't budge.

"C'mon! Let's get out of here!" he tugged on her hand incessantly.

Direct attacks really weren't in his nature, okay? It was strategy, not cowardice.

Hancock turned back to them, wearing a pair of cat ears on her raven hair.

"This should do it. Nya?" She raised one hand like a paw, blushing as best as she could. Perona squealed at the super-effective attack, hardening to stone instantly.

"Another victory," Hancock laughed with an evil smile. "I haven't practiced cute attacks in so long; it's good to know I'm still the best at them." She turned her gaze towards Usopp, who was currently half way between crying and a stroke.

"C-c-couldn't you at least change into something better suited for a battle? I'll wait!" he offered, hand shielding his eyes.

"No, I don't think I'll do that," smiled Hancock, looking down at her bath towel. "Besides, for this kind of battle, it's probably the best armour I could hope for!" She laughed.

Truly, she had forgotten how fun it was to be the aggressor in combat. After her frustration with the Strawhat captain, it felt fantastic to breeze through her opponents like they were nothing.

"Now, how will you go? Any requests?"

Usopp said nothing, stammering gibberish as he tried to simultaneously threaten her, plead for his life, and ask for a swimsuit all at once.

"Or how about the old fashioned classic?" Hancock placed her hands together in a heart shape, smiling a radiant, nicer smile all of a sudden. "Love-Love Mellow!" She cried, a heart-shaped beam heading straight towards Usopp.

Was this really how it ended? Would he be stuck in this dimension forever, turned into a statue? There was so much he hadn't seen and done- met the giants of Eblaf, or the mermaid princess in the New World, increased his bounty with the others. He'd never play with the others again . . .

Fear made him move fast. In a split-second, his dial was up in front of his face, eyes clenched shut. "Osmose Dial!" he screamed, expecting the worst. Nothing happened for a moment, the room silent except for the creaking of the ship. Hesitantly, he opened one eye, and then the other.

Wow. Hancock stood in front of him, eyes filled with wonder and appreciation. Usopp looked down, and realised what had happened. His arms rippled with muscle, his body taller and more masculine. Taking off his Sogeking mask, Hancock gasped.

Usopp had wavy, lustrously-well-kept hair. His eyes were thin, long eyelashes standing out against his perfect skin. Usopp spoke in a lower, deeper voice, "Oh you like this, do ya?"

He tentatively flexed, trying not to laugh at the effect it had on her. Couldn't waste this chance . . .

He shook his head, hair and nose waving across gorgeously as if in slow motion. Leaning in towards her, he took off his shirt, which was the finishing blow. Hancock blushed a deeper red than her own blood, and turned to stone. He'd done it!

Usopp felt his body revert to normal, the power fading after one use. Damn, he wished he'd had the time to get some photos. Looking across, he was dismayed to see Perona was still a statue. Somehow, he'd hoped that turning Hancock herself into a statue would reverse the effect of her powers on Perona and Sanji (along with Luffy and Nami, unknown to him).

What could he do now? Crossing his arms deep in thought, he was suddenly interrupted by a gasp from Vivi.

"What did you do! How- how could that happen?" she struggled against her bonds, confused.

"I used her power back at her, like earlier," Usopp grinned sheepishly. He was too tired to brag and boast, and was close to falling asleep after such an emotionally-draining night.

"But- how? Hancock never liked boys!" insisted Vivi, perplexed by this flaw in logic.

"Didn't you know?" Usopp readied his breath, ready to say the exact same thing Hancock had thought towards Nami.

"All women are secretly bisexuals!"

And so, the Strawhat pirates defeated the Shichibukai Boa Hancock and her crew. Shortly after the battle, Usopp managed to force Vivi into telling him the secret trick into reversing the statues Hancock turned them into. It was simple, when he threatened to tip Hancock's statue out of the window.

He was slightly puzzled by her attitude to a captain that scared her, but obviously Vivi was a loyal person, and maybe enjoyed life on here for some reason. Regardless, he discovered the statue's one weakness, which was proven on Perona.

Simply by sliding a cucumber into the mouth of someone turned into a statue, they returned to normal! As a precaution, Usopp took every cucumber they had on board, checking their kitchen thoroughly. They'd have to wait quite a while until they reached the next town, before Hancock could be recovered.

During this process, quite a few other crewmates had gathered, and surrounded Hancock's statue reverentially. A single man turning their captain into stone? It was unheard of.

Usopp threatened to do the same to all of them, and made good use of Tashigi (frozen one) as an example of how powerful he was. Thankfully, his lies were up to scratch, and he was treated like an honoured guest among them. After that, he quickly ascertained the others had escaped, which made his climatic victory feel somewhat less important- how he would have loved to rescue Luffy or Zoro from chains!

Seeing how the crew treated them for beating Hancock, Usopp and Perona took the opportunity to demand the best of their treasure from the treasury, in return for 'sparing the crew'. Hey, they were going to get something out of this night, whatever it was.

And so, burdened with two sacks of treasure and one bag of cucumbers, they departed on the remaining mini Merry that was still stationed outside. The dawn sky was a mere hour away as they departed, full of high spirits. He'd really done it- Usopp had defeated her! A Shicibukai!

The others were gonna hear about this for months. He could already see the spin he would put over it . . .

Settling against the side of the boat, Usopp began to plan. "Hancock had turned both of my legs to stone, and her entire crew were positioned around us, swords at the ready. Got it?"

"Could that room really hold her whole crew?" Perona looked towards him sceptically.

"Listen, the details aren't important. We've just gotta make it sound more dangerous, okay? Besides, none of the others know how big the room was except for Luffy, who won't remember."

"Usopp, is this really what all great pirates do with their stories?"

"Of course! Old Roger did this all the time. Did I ever tell you about the time I met him?"

"You did?"

"Of course! I taught him personally!"

Well, that wraps up that! Huge thanks to everyone who's read this far, I hope you stick around for more. I've only asked this once before, and I feel kinda demanding, but I'd really like reviews for this one, heh. So if anyone feels like telling me what I did right, and what they'd like to see more of, please do~ Constructive criticism is particularly welcome, as always.

Oh, and a poll's still up with a teaser for the next arc, although it'll be going down by part 12's release, roughly.

Don't worry, Sanji's going to get some focus soon to compensate for lately, fangirls. But next part is reserved for a certain musical skeleton- Brook fans, rejoice, for his long awaited appearance! (I think that's just you, CSpacian xD)