Chapter 11. Miss You

A/N: So, I know nothing about special ops or rescues missions. My knowledge comes from the news and movies and the rest is just imagination. Also, this ended up being much longer than my usual style.

Kim POV

Monday evening.

The weeks after the mission were the happiest I have been in my life. Classes were exciting, the upcoming midterms seemed easy, my concerto was coming along, the job at Blue Whale was stress free, and I had a prospect of doing something that I was training for. But, of course, the source of my happiness was Jack and our new relationship.

I hardly spent any time at my dorm anymore. Jack would often spent the evening in the Blue Whale and drive me to his place. Our new physical relationship was amazing. He was an experienced and patient teacher. I never knew that I could be this sensual, this forward, this insatiable. Whatever my fears of inadequacy were, they evaporated in the heat of our passion.

Jack checked out Mark and his company. They were actual video game developers. I have called Mark and arranged for an audition when my spring break started. I mentioned that was also a composition student, though mostly classical music.

We were out tonight because Monday was one night I had off from the Blue Whale. The place was this little Italian osteria that Jack knew from a long time ago. Jack was in a playful mood and was dead set to make me blush at every moment. He complained that last two nights I have not spent with him, was wondering if my professors and music were really all that much more appealing than him. He even mentioned that his scars and bruises needed tending as they were sore. I shook my head and regretted that I put my hair up because now I had nothing to hide my red face with. Jack reached across the table and gently touched the one strand that escaped the topknot, "Let's go Kim. We can ask for food to go. I hunger for you…" my insides clenched and I could hardly think of anything else at the moment. It was not fair that he was so impossible attractive. I told him that too. When we kissed and he wanted to deepen the kiss, we were interrupted by a call to his cell.

I watched with dread as Jack's face lost all humor and laughter and turned into a mask of steely determination. It had to be a bad news.

He stared at me unblinking and the fear was settling like lead in my stomach. Jack got up and I followed him. He had to go. Right now. It must be bad. His usual confident way of talking turned into choppy short phrasing. He sked me to watch Tip-Tip and to take the cat in if it took him too long to come back. Oh,,, oh,,,, no… He can't mean that… I could not breathe and I could feel hot tears rising in my eyes. Suddenly Jack stepped to me and kissed me, open mouthed and teeth clacking and so-so desperate… And then he ran out...I sat down feeling like a marionette whose strings got severed.

Jack POV

Monday – Friday

The happiness radiating form Kim was palpable. It was contagious. She shared it freely. She wasn't worried about her school and money and I felt quietly pleased that I had something to do with her carefree state of mind.

We were out celebrating the new potential job with Mark's company. We were at the quiet Italian restaurant and Kim looked very pretty in her yellow dress and her hair pulled in the topknot. She was smiling, chattering happily about music, her songs, the company, the luck of being spotted by Mark, and everything in between. I wanted to save this image of Kim so happy and carefree. I have been missing her these past two days: she had some early classes and refused to stay at my place as it would add to her morning commute. And because I was apparently very distracting. I flirted and shamelessly hinted that I wanted her, very, very much. I just wanted to go home and pull her hair down and peel the dress off of her. "Let's go Kim. We can take food to go. I hunger for you..."

Kim choked on her wine, but flushed prettily and looked at me from under her lashes. "You're making me blush," she mumbled.

"I am trying to turn you on," I leaned across the table and spoke lowly, "Is it working?"

Kim's cheeks by now had spots of high color and she lowered her eyes, "it is really unfair how hot you are when you do that."

"Do what?" I purposefully spoke into her ear and could see the goosebumps forming.

"This..." Kim turned her face and kissed me. "Let's go." The need for her spread through me and I followed her lips, but she pulled away, "wait till we are home."

I chased her lips and pecked her, smiling into the kiss, but we were interrupted. It was my cell phone.

"Yes!" I was pissed off.

"Orders to report immediately," Funderburk sounded short and serious. "Human traffickers. Possibly children."

"How many?" I knew that my face hardened, because I suddenly felt hollowed and cold inside. Kim's face was a picture of concern and confusion.

"Unclear at the moment. Brewer report to the base ASAP." Funderburk was pulling rank. Things must be bad.

"Yes, sir." I disconnected. I sat for a moment refocusing myself. I need my mission mode now. There were children's lives at stake. I looked at Kim, suddenly hit by a wave of all the happiness that we just shared. I could feel it disappearing like wisps of dream after you wake up. I needed to let go of it for now.

"What is it?" Kim's voice was barely a whisper and her face was now full of fear.

"Kim. I am being called in. Urgently. I don't know for how long… or where. I only have 20 minutes. For everything. I have to go now. I must... Kim..."

"Take care of yourself," Kim said faintly. She looked very pale and scared.

I got up and left some money on the table. I took my keys and gave them to Kim, "please look after Tip-Tip. And... If I am away too long... take him... If I can, I'll call you. I am sorry. I won't be going home now. You'll have to go by yourself..." I just had to leave... I stepped up to Kim and kissed her, desperately trying to hold on to my dream. I pulled away with effort and ran out.

Week long mission

They sent us in two groups. We haven't worked with other teams before and this wasn't well tested yet and we argued, but the decision wasn't ours.

The situation was simple in basic facts. There were several large crime syndicates that trafficked humans and drugs into United States. Law enforcement chased such incoming shipments, but the enforcement was only as good as the information that was received. Usually it never made the news, unless the raid happened in broad daylight and new outlets caught on. Traffickers knew of the possible dangers of raids and their deliveries were usually well guarded. That's why there were two extraction groups and a back up.

So here we were, two teams camped out in the industrial part of the port in some semi-abandoned warehouses. Milton was on comms and refused to set up his operation anywhere by the van. He said that he did not like to be a sitting duck if situation went pear-shaped. The goal is to extract and clean up without much noise and smoke. If there is no major enemy engagement, then the local law enforcement steps for further handling. If there is, extract victims and deliver to the back up post by two vans. The first three days we had to sit in recon and observation. They were enough weapons for a decent military outfit. Chances of getting in and out quietly were looking slim. It looked like we needed to scour the place when most crime operatives were out, leaving only bare crew to guard the captives. Make it quick before the main troops return. Finally, order to go came in on Friday night.

Jerry and the sniper form another team took out the night watch and we spread out through the terminal. Short battles were erupting everywhere. Since it was nighttime and most of the cartel operatives weren't as fast to get to their guns, most all engagements were hand to hand with some knifes thrown in. Once all the operatives were neutralized, we searched for hostages.

"Found them," Milton said. "Northern end of the terminal, just east of the crane. Container in red paint."

"We're closest," I said to Jerry. "Let's go."

He nodded to me, as he's done many times before.

Jerry and I put out physical training to the test, sprinting down the corridors.

With Milton navigating, we found the container very quickly. The door is padlocked and I simply shot at it to burst it open. It still was sticky and I had to lean harder to prop it open. With a lot of squeaking and a groan of steel, the door swung open. On the other side, multiple faces turn to us in trepidation.

"Hello, there," Jerry said cheerfully. "Who feels like getting out of here?"

A tall, imposing man with olive skin and heavy, dark eyebrows stands up, straightens his rumpled dress shirt, and comes to the threshold. He says something in what I think might be muddled Spanish. Jerry looked confused for a second; then snapped his fingers, "Parts of Latin America with heavy indigenous population speak their version of patois, mix of Spanish and their native tongues."

We stare at each other uselessly for a moment. Then Jerry said something in Spanish.

A little girl came up from behind the man, nodded to Jerry, and said something to the others, interpreting. She was no more than seven and had long curly hair that was matted and dirty. The man said something else that was complete gibberish to me, but the girl clearly spoke Spanish to Jerry.

Turns out there were two kids and twenty adults. All were dehydrated and weak with hunger. One of the adults was in critical condition. There was a badly infected cut on his side. He kept going in and out of consciousness. He spoke Spanish and Jerry was keeping him talking. We were waiting for Milton to signal the local law enforcement, when he spoke urgently, "Incoming. Two vehicles now, possibly more on the way. Extract captives to the warehouse and remove by vans to the back-up base. Engage only if unavoidable."

The last command was too late. The black Mercedes came up screeching round the corner, and I could hear their weapons cocking. Then five men poured out of the car.

We could do it. With weapons or not. It won't be pretty, but Jerry and I have been in worse situations. As long as we could avoid collateral damage to the captives.

Jerry shouted something to the captives and they dove to the far side of the container as fast they could. Almost simultaneously the gunfire erupted. Ducking and diving, Jerry and I engaged and I only hoped that others could hold off the other incoming criminals off of our backs.

I heard footsteps on metal, then a muffled noise of impact behind me. It was Brody, jumping down from the top of the container. I liked out our odds better now.

It was a mess and Milton's input was almost useless now as the situation was changing so quickly, but adrenaline and many years of muscle memory carried the day.

We commandeered the Mercedes and Brody drove the weakest captives to the warehouse. Outside I could hear that other members of our team were engaging as well.

We rushed with the remaining captives, but it was a slow go. We were almost to the warehouse, when we were shot at again and Jerry and I had to cover the running captives. There was an insane firefight and general chaos and in the end I was shot. The bullet came at an angle and grazed my left side, just passing the plates in the vest. The bullet wounds always hurt like the burn. It may have given me a fractured rib, because it hurt to breath deep.

In the end, we made it out and got away in the vehicle that Milton was running his comms from. They gave us chase, but with Jerry and Brody responding to the fire, they dropped off soon enough. We made it to the back up site and finally were able to relax and take stock. I was one of the two with gun shot wounds. One of the guys on the second team had a leg wound. Mine was minor in comparison. One of the other team members was unconscious, possibly with concussion from one of the grenades, and Eddy had a cut on his arm that looked deep.

The way back was fast. Helicopters brought the capties and us to the local airport, where medical took over. The hostage with the deep cut did not make it to the hospital. One of the parents kept thanking us, crying and holding out the cross saying that God must have sent the avenging angels to save them. She blessed us and asked out names for the mass she planned to request. I was relieved to have succeeded in the mission, but the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. These were people looking for better lives. There were children, who at such young age, already suffered more than most of us ever get to…

On the way to the hospital, which I objected I even needed but Funderburk overruled me, I was consumed by these depressing thoughts. Jerry told me that the man who died had a daughter, who apparently sang like an angel. The man wanted better life for her. It made me think about Kim.

Kim… How was she, my sweetheart? Was she crying her eyes out worried about me? Or has she decided that she does not need a boyfriend, whose work is so unpredictable? It is not easy to be in the relationship with someone like me… I could not guarantee I'd be there for anything really… I could not even guaranty that I will return… I could not call her when I am out on missions. The only ones who get any updates from the base are the wives and parents. She does not even know who to ask for updates. I did not even have the chance to tell her, explain all these details. I have not told her so much. How could I expect her to open up to me when I haven't done that myself? She doesn't know about my parents at all, other than the fact that my dad died. God, please, I want a chance to tell her all this… And so much more… All these days on the mission, she was right there underneath the mission focus, my beautiful golden songbird. The memories of her were not far away. How she sang, laughed, smiled, kissed. How amazing it was to come home and see her there. How incredible it would be if she was there again...

Kim… Just wait for me… I'll make it home, clean myself up and we'll talk about me. I'll tell you all… You can't keep destiny at arm's length…

Kim POV

Monday – Sunday

I was worried sick. Maybe because Jack got his call to report while he was with me, but seeing him mentally turn off Jack, charming and sexy man I date, and become Jack, capable soldier, was very sobering and jarring. I was terrified that something would happen to him or his friends. We just got closer and this new relationship felt fragile and uncertain now that it existed in the same world, where Jack has to fight bad guys. I could see that this mission would be difficult. Jack was concerned, which meant that I was scared.

I had attended school mechanically. Grace and I were putting out the worst performances of our student careers and I had to mentally slap myself to get some focus. The lack of news was devastating. I did not know where to go and who to ask for any updates, until it occurred to me that Julie or Kelsey might know something. Grace and I made a trip to the University and found Julie deep in research. I was frankly amazed that she could do anything at all. She was quietly confident that all would be well. She basically said that she trusted Milton to be smart and capable to come back to her alive. Of course her way was to cite statistics of their group's missions with successful outcomes, missions with minor casualties, and missions with major bodily harm. She also called into base and found out that everyone was alive so far. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. In the end, we made it a quiet girls' night in at Julie's and Milton's place and bonded while watching Nicholas Spark based movies.

I was not as confident as Julie was, but I had to find my way of coping. Studying and practicing have been my way of dealing with stress before and I turned my fears and anxiety into fodder for my music. My concerto ended up with a new potion in minor with haunting and restless leitmotif. My advisor only said that it is not enough for the full piece, but I could see that he was impressed. So far, Jack inspired two parts of my music: hesitant, but hopeful, overture reflected my mood when we met; and now this part in minor.

It was Friday that I got a call from Julie. They were coming back, but Jack and Eddy were injured. Julie was quite precise in describing Jack's bullet graze and fractured rib and only my whimper of distress reminded her that she was talking to a non-scientist and a girlfriend. She apologized and told me that on the plus side, his injury was not serious: he was being held overnight for observation only.

I rushed to his place again and waited.

He arrived on Sunday night and it was like the repeat of the first time I met him. His stubble was long into the scraggy territory; he looked weary and tired, and was moving with a slight stiffness. I stood in the bedroom doorway drinking him in. He was here, alive, and he was beautiful. He saw me and his smile was like the sun coming out of the clouds: bright and breathtaking. He opened his arms and I nearly jumped at him, remembering at last moment about his injuries. I hugged him carefully and laid my head on his chest. His heartbeat was still the steady reassuring rhythm.

"I dreamed and hoped that you'd be here when I am back," I heard and felt him talking, his chest vibrating with the sound of his voice. "I so wanted you to be here. I was worried you'd dump me," he said quietly. What was he saying? Why would I do that? I pulled away far enough to look at him askance, "My job has unpredictable hours. I disappear without communication for weeks and I can't promise that I always would be back. I can't ask you to put up with all of this."

God, that beautiful and stupid man. As if I ever would leave him over that. "Jack, let me decide what I can put up with. You don't have to worry that your job would make me leave you. I am just glad you are back alive, here, with me. You are worth the trouble," I leaned in to kiss him and it was the best kiss so far, because I think we just told each other that we were serious about this whole relationship thing. Jack pulled away and said, "I have so much to tell you. I haven't said anything about myself to you yet."

"After you eat. And sleep. And shave," I cupped his cheek and he nuzzled into it.

"Ok. It sounds good. Eat, sleep, shave. Will you stay?"

"Of course."

Jack POV

Monday.

I woke up to the fantastical aroma of bacon being fried. Kim was cooking and I knew it would be great. Usually, she only cooked on weekends, when she did not have to run to her classes in the morning. I was getting spoiled by the home cooked meals and had to work a little extra to burn it off. Totally worth it though.

When I got to the kitchen, Kim was finishing up French toast with bacon. "Kim, aren't you going to be late to classes?" I didn't want her to leave, but she was always so responsible.

"I am good enough student that I can skip a class or two. Besides, everybody has been hogging the practice halls at the same time after classes," Kim was rambling and moving around kitchen, pulling dishes and cutlery. "I have little time before I have to go. So, breakfast?"

She was smiling and looking at me with a strange mix of tenderness and something else that disappeared quickly.

We ate and traded stories about our time apart. Told her about captives, little girl who interpreted, a man who died. Kim's expression was at first sympathetic, then turned thoughtful. She suddenly leaned in and kissed me.

Her lips tasted of syrup. I quickly deepened the kiss. She pulled away panting, "Your wound and rib…"

"Will be fine as long as we are carful and not jostle it too much," I have missed my girl; she was my tonic against the ugly world that I often saw on missions.

My kisses were hungry and she was so responsive. We barely made it to the bedroom. Still kissing Kim pushed me gently onto bed and I landed on my back. She never took initiative like that before and I wasn't going to stop her...

She took her time. First just the tips of her fingers, then the palms, were gliding over me, as if learning anew, mapping everything. The anticipation of her each next move was at once welcome and unbearable. My heartbeat sped up and I could feel it in my fingertips. I needed to hold onto something. I slowly moved my heavy and hesitant arms to move the T-shirt she was wearing off. We kissed, slow and heady. Her hands moved my shirt off and she started repeating the trail that her hands took with her lips. The kisses were like butterflies. Light, gentle, tender. Kaleidoscope of butterflies. Her hair was a curtain around us and each strand glided over me, as if caressing me like she did. She reached my boxers and lightly touched my already straining erection. Heat that was sparkling under my skin, wherever she touched me, coalesced into one streak of want and burned its way down my spine and into my cock toward her hands. My heartbeat turned into staccato. I was burning. Just as I got used to this sensation, Kim's mouth descended on me and I nearly lost it then. Like everything she was doing, it was slow and gentle, and maddening. This gentleness was like a slow descent into madness. I was trembling restraining myself from flipping us over and just hammering my way into her. She took mercy and finally lowered herself on me. Oh, I can never get used to the feel of her inside. So wet, soft, supple, silky. With each stroke she was getting hotter and tighter inside and I wanted to remember this moment. I could feel the frisson of orgasm building in her and the corresponding buildup in me. With a softest of touches to her clit, she tumbled over the edge and I followed her, my sight spotty from the strength of my release.

I lay boneless and sated slowly drifting asleep.