A/N:

Sorry this has taken me an age to get around to, but I'm finally back home and the writing bug has bitten me once more (though it took it's freaking time doing it!).

I know that the last chapter was really short, and it may seem a little pointless to some of you but, trust me, it did need to be written. I'm going somewhere with all this shit – I swear.

Anyway, this is 3k for all you people that have been waiting. To show you how much I love you, EPOV may be featured in the next chapter :P And the next chapter will be longer again. They are all going to be epics from this point onwards.

Twilight and all it's characters are copyright of SM, the expletives are (unfortunately) all me.

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Chapter 10.

Bella POV

"Hey Bella!" Alice's voice trilled into my ear as if she'd known I was calling.

"Alice, I've fucked everything up." I started bluntly.

"Aw, Bella... what happened?" The instant warmth in her voice had the desired effect. Comfort. The shit I so desperately needed.

"God, I don't even know where to start with all this crap," I sighed as I leaned my head against the wall next to the front door.

"Grab your coat. I'll be there in five minutes."

Before I could even question the probability that she would actually arrive on time, I heard a dial tone in my ear. The bitch had just hung up on me!

Embracing the self loathing from my fuck awful day, I trudged upstairs and flopped face first onto my bed. I couldn't find it in me to give a shit about anything anymore... I barely even scolded Charlie as he poked his head into my room and asked how I was doing. Fucking stupid question, considering the state I had been in when I'd arrived home.

Crying and shaking like some pussywhipped cunt. I hadn't even had the balls to suck it up enough to be able to drive myself home. Jake had to do it for me. Bastard. Both him and Edward...

But, before I had time to brood, there was another voice in my room. A high pitched, comforting voice. The voice of a friend.

"What did I say about getting your coat?" Her lips curved into a half smile as she threw my once concealed leather jacket over my head. "We're going out."

"Alice... how in the hell...?"

"Don't ask. Just do."

Her request seemed good enough to me. I'd done enough asking questions and thinking for one day. Now I was going to let her lead. No matter what fucked up shit we got into, I was more than willing just to forget about life and all the crap it brought with it.

I followed her down the stairs and to an ostentatious red Mercedes that would break the banks of every fucker in Forks, even with combined paychecks. But my mind wasn't sane enough to give a shit. Zombie being the key word to describe how freaking useless I was acting. Mind you, rotting flesh probably would have been better company.

The engine growled to life beneath Alice's delicate fingertips, and soon we were zooming away from my house. The whole town becoming very small, very quickly. If I had been paying attention I might have had time to crap my pants, but the only thing I could even focus on was my hands. Fucking twitching, even though I was trying so damn hard to keep them still.

How do I fix all this shit?

I stared out of the window as I contemplated my epic question and wondered how I came to be such a bitch. I could have gone on for hours, if Alice hadn't bloody interrupted me.

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Huh?"

"You just said something, muttering to yourself I guess, but I just want to understand you. I want to help." Her cold hand was suddenly patting my knee as I was swept away by confusion.

"I didn't fucking say anything..."

"Yes, you said... 'How do I fix all this shit'."

"Oh." Balls. I didn't realise I'd spoken aloud. So I admitted it. "I meant to think that question."

"Come on, Bella. I told you that you could rely on me and I meant it. You can talk to me about anything you have going on, no matter how much your mind is telling you to keep it all bottled up. Seriously, you can tell me whatever you like."

"The problem is..." I sucked in a deep breath before I shattered her illusions. "I've heard that shit before and it didn't turn out so well for me."

"What happened?"

"Renee." I spat, before my mind filter kicked in. Letting me down as per fucking usual.

"Who's that?" Alice's prying was getting a little personal for my liking.

"My mother." I answered instinctively. "But this crap fest is getting too deep to wade through. Let's focus on something else first."

"Sure. There is something I wanted to know..."

"No surprise there, then." I grinned at her.

"What happened with Jacob and Edward?"

"Ah, fuck, Alice. You couldn't have picked an easier question, could you? Like my opinion on American political policies and my view on the current war?"

Alice laughed away as I huffed to myself, knowing that there was no escaping the conversation. I had to relive it, for the only person I would ever consider trusting. But there was a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that was starting to bug the shit out of me.

"Hey, Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't tell you that I had an argument with Jake... I never even mentioned that the bastard was there. Actually, I've never spoken to you about him; or any of the insane bollocks that's gone down with us over the years."

"Ah." Alice muttered to herself while her white fingers became even paler as she gripped at the fucking steering wheel. She was hiding something.

"How did you know?"

"Okay, look." She had turned her whole body to face me, ignoring the freaking road completely. Before I had time to have a panic attack and let a scream come out of a mouth that was obviously hanging wide open, Alice glanced back at the road and repositioned herself slightly. "I want to make a deal with you..."

"Can this deal involve you keeping your pretty little eyes on the road and not getting me squashed like a fucking frog on a freeway?"

"Sure." Alice laughed and relaxed back into her seat. "You tell me about the argument, show me that you trust me, then I'll do the same. I'll show you how much I trust you by letting you in on a little secret of my own."

I was intrigued. I loved secrets. And it seemed that I loved the company Alice was presenting to me, as the idea of a friend didn't make me fully suicidal. It did only if I imagined being cosy with any of the bitches in Forks. Alice was... different. I could totally see myself not hating her.

"You, my little annoying friend, have yourself a deal."

So, I launched into the tale. It wasn't happy, it didn't have a resolution at the end, and it involved an awful load of embarrassing moments that made me feel like an asshole; but I still told her everything.

From the moment my heart jumped into my throat as soon as Edward had entered Jake's small bedroom, to the very end when they had both decided they were better off without me.

Not that I could blame them... well, I could... but I sort of knew they were right.

I was a bitch, as they had both repeated numerous times, and their friendship was more important than some fucked up chick like me.

As I told Alice the end; about me breaking down like a twat and not being able to breathe properly, after the insults from Jacob had gotten too much to bear, while Edward looked on at me in contempt; her arms engulfed me with their coolness.

I noticed that she had pulled onto the hard shoulder just before I broke into tears once more.

Sniffing into her shoulder wasn't the correct time to be making threats, and yet I still found myself doing it.

"If you tell anyone that I cried over some loser bastards, I will never forgive you. I may even kill you, depending on who you tell."

"Aww, Bella," she laughed as she began to stroke my hair. "You act all tough, but I don't believe you for a second. The main reason being that I know I'm never going to tell anyone."

"Thanks," I sniffed, suddenly very aware how much of a fucking sap I was acting. I pulled myself back from Alice quickly as I looked into her eyes.

"You love him, don't you?" I heard her ask so bloody quietly.

"Which one?"

"Both of them."

I lowered my head at her answer, feeling ashamed but knowing she was right.

I did love Jacob Black. He was my very best friend, with me through thick and thin, my shoulder to cry on or punch depending on my mood. If I had never met Edward, a part of me did wonder where my relationship with my very own dickhead would have ended up. Even though it was a very small, minute part, it was still there in the back of my mind.

As for Edward. Edward Masen. My mind screamed that it was too fucking early to tell if I loved him or not, while my heart raged back with a 'why the hell not' argument. I was unable, maybe slightly unwilling, to admit what a strong effect the bastard had on me in the short time of knowing each other; though deep, deep, down I knew guys like him didn't come around very often. I also knew that the feelings I had for the prick were none I'd ever experienced, and would probably never experience for the rest of my fucked up existence.

How had my life gotten so much more complicated than it already was? How was it even possible for more shit to hit the fan?

"How would you feel about a road trip?" I wouldn't have even known my head had fallen into my fucking hands if her voice hadn't been all muffled. All of a sudden, through the gaps in my fingers I could see a shit eating grin spread across Alice's face.

The car had yet to start up again, so I was freaking unfortunate enough to have the full focus of Alice and her question. It hadn't really dawned on me what she had been asking for a few minutes.

To leave Forks, or not to leave Forks; that was the question.

When I finally realised what she was asking me, which embarrassingly took too much time for the secret retard inside me, I knew how to answer instantly.

"Why the fuck not." I answered as I let the grin spread across my face.

"I hoped you would say that." Alice returned my grin as she turned her attention back to the road and the engine was woken up once more with a rumble.

The car was spun around quickly in a neat U-turn and we began speeding in the opposite direction. I had no clue where the hell we were going, but I didn't fucking care. All I wanted to do was get as far away from my problems as was damn possible.

Things started to get familiar. We were headed back into Forks. What? That couldn't be fucking right. Alice had mentioned a road trip, not a bloody intervention. Where in the name of all that was sane was she planning on taking me?

"Alice? What the fuck? This is the lamest road trip I've ever been freaking invited on."

"Bella!" Alice laughed my name as if it were the best joke she knew.

"What's going on, bitch?" I interrupted her little outburst.

"If you'd let me finish, jeez," Alice's laugh tinkled once more. "Don't get so antsy! We just have to pick up something first."

Outside the car, everything was starting to get really familiar. I'd only been there once, but I had made the mental note to remember every little detail. Back before crap got too complicated; but after what I thought had been enough fucked up shit.

"What are we getting?" I furrowed my brow at her, while she maneuvered the car easily down a mostly hidden road.

"My family."

"And, why the hell are we doing that?"

"They're coming with us is all."

"Alice," I sighed. Trying to ease my frustration without having to resort to physical fucking violence. "Where exactly are you taking me on this freaking road trip?"

"Ever wanted to look at colleges?"

"Only my entire fucking life."

"Well, you're in luck. We're hopefully going to visit ten colleges in the next two weeks. The chief of police surely couldn't object to that, could he?" An evil little smile was shot in my direction.

"Like he has a choice." I smiled back. "Anyway, all the kids at the Rez high are getting a week off next week. I'll hardly miss any school. Charlie will jump for fucking joy."

As Alice pulled onto the driveway of her adoptive father's mansion, I realised how lucky I had been to fall in with such rich bastards. Then, a more important thought outweighed my greed.

"Isn't there something you were going to share with me? You sneaky fucker."

"Shit." Alice muttered.

"Did you just swear?" I was couldn't help laughing my ass off. Face creased, shoulders doubled over, stomach cramping laughter. Something that I hadn't experienced in a very long time.

"You must be a worse influence than I first thought." Alice tutted, arms folded. Causing me to laugh even harder.

"Of course... I'm a... bad... influence..." I snorted, ungracefully. "But that doesn't mean you're getting out of this, oh annoying one." I reprimanded her as I tried desperately to keep my face bloody straight.

"You will think I'm crazy..."

"I already do." I winked. " Now, tell me your little secret." It came out of my mouth as a whisper. I didn't mean to seem like I was taking the piss, but it seemed to come off that way.

"If you make fun, I won't even bother."

"Hey, hey! Don't get all pissy!" I wished I could have eaten my words, or at least thought them through before they had offended her. "I didn't mean to be all bitchy about it. Honest."

"Okay, but... you're still going to think I'm crazy."

"Well then, we must be fucking perfect for each other. Hello? Have we met? I'm the textbook definition of crazy. Just get to it!"

"Basically," Alice sighed, "I'm kind of psychic."

"Psychic as in how?" I raised my eyebrow, wondering if she was now deliberately trying to throw me off the trail of the real secret she had wanted to share.

"As in, I get these sort of visions. They are only based on what paths people chose to take, and can change as soon as a person changes their mind. But, well, I saw that Jacob and Edward were planning on having it out with you..."

"You had a vision that the bastards were going to ambush me like that?"

"Yeah. As soon as Jacob decided to call Edward, when he had put you in his car to take you to his, I saw the fight. But, well, it was kind of blurry."

"And, blurry isn't normal?" I tried to keep my tone normal.

"No, usually when someone has decided it's pretty clear. But, as soon as you went into the Reservation, my vision got all blurry and I could only make out little snippets."

"Like some fuck was blocking your antenna?"

"I guess you could put it that way."

"Are you fucking with me?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No."

Funnily enough, I believed her. There was not a hint of amusement in her eyes as she stared at me, deadly freaking serious, waiting for her news to sink in.

It was then I was sure that she wasn't dicking about. Alice didn't have it in her to be a lying cow like me. It was natural, the bitch inside that whispered lies right into my brain and leaked them through my mouth without me realising; but there was not a hint of bitch about Alice. That was why I liked her so much. She was straight up. She wasn't fucking kidding.

"So, you had any more of these visions about me?"

"You believe me?" Alice seemed uncertain.

"I'm not that much of a prick, am I? I actually do believe you. Why would you lie? So, tell me, you had any of these visions about me before?"

"Yes." She murmured as her eyes fell to her lap.

"What's that?"

"What?"

"You getting all fucking nervous and shit. What's all that about?"

"I'd rather not say..."

"Well now you bloody have to!"

"I saw you..." she took a deep breath, "have sex with Jacob."

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

Now I really did believe her. No one but me, Jacob and Edward knew about that specific detail. I had purposely left it out of every previous conversation with Alice in the hope that it would be less real. The whole 'ignore it and it goes away' theory.

"Fuck." I rubbed at my temple. "I guess you've known all along why my life is so messed up."

"When it comes to the guys, yes. With regards to everything else that is mental about you, I guess I'm still waiting on that update." Alice tapped her forehead and smiled weakly.

"Seen anything less mentally scarring about me then?" I tried to change her focus.

"I knew we were going to be friends." She grinned.

"That makes sense." I remembered back to her puzzling message the first day I'd met her. "Are you always fucking cryptic with people who don't know your secret? People who you see in your little visions?"

"It's part of my charm." A laugh trilled once more, tension obviously eased. I was a superhero. A bloody God. My powers of topic changes were unbeatable.

"So, let's get this show on the road."

"It's about time you met the rest of my family." Alice grinned as she hopped out of the car and towards the front door. "Aren't you coming?" She called playfully.

"You bastard! Don't leave me! I can't help it that I'm slow, it minimizes the clumsy. It's better for humanity that I move as slowly as possible at all fucking times."

"But at least try and make it into my house before I turn to dust!"

"How can so much annoying potential be crammed into such a little package?" I asked as I reached the door.

"Another part of all the charm I have inside. And there's lots left to discover," she grinned as she grabbed my arm and led me through the front door.

I was led into a part of the house I hadn't seen on my last visit. It took me a while, but I soon realised the enormous space was actually a kitchen. It took even longer for me to notice the group of freaking people staring at me in the distance.

"Bella!" A booming voice called from the far side of the room. The person almost caught up to their own voice as they ran towards me. Emmett. Fuck. He was even hotter the second time around.

"Hey, big guy. How's shit?" I murmured into his shoulder as he grabbed me and held me in a bear hug. Not that I was complaining...

"It's good." He pulled his head back and grinned a fucktastic grin. "But, maybe you could swear a bit less when you're around my parents."

"Fuck, dick, wanking, bollocks." Emmett looked at me in confusion. "I'm just getting it out of my system." I explained slowly.

"Sounds like a plan." Emmett laughed a booming laugh as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Alice's safety net.

"This is Esme." A whisper told me. Alice. She had followed us across the kitchen. Thank fuck.

"Hello, Esme." I held out a hand for her to shake, but was taken in another hug. Christ, this family was a lot more intimate than I was used to.

"It's very nice to meet you." Esme smiled and patted my shoulder. Immediately, I wished she were my mother; instead of the bitch from hell I'd been landed with.

"This is Carlisle."

"Hi, Carlise." This time, my offered hand was taken as I tried not to think dirty thoughts about the sexy as fuck Dr. Cullen that stood in front of me. I bet he was one to make all the nurses scream...

"And this is Rosalie." Emmett's booming voice snapped me out of my very vivid daydream. Lucky. Otherwise some graphic noises could have made things a lot more freaking awkward.

"Hey." I eyed up the tall blonde as I held out my hand once more. She took it gently, like I was offering her shit, and dropped it after barely a second.

Pretty as she was, I knew this was going to be the bitch to win over. Queen fucking bee, and I'd just disturbed her nest. Well, prissy miss... let the fireworks commence...