Forbidden Angel
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: Pre series Castle, Rick has graduated and served time in the USMC, fulfilling his ROTC commitment, Beckett has gone on to become a lawyer, Johanna is alive, BOTH are in relationships when they meet, what will happen, For sake of this story the age difference has been adjusted, GO with it, and also I'm sure many military protocols will be broken again IT'S FICTION. NOTE: AU not canon
I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only
Chapter 10
Previously
"I don't feel sorry for you Jackass, I love you, at least I think I do since I've never been in love before. What I know is you complete a part of my life that was empty till I met you, that I would do anything to keep you safe, and that I want to be with you every minute of the day, I want to wake up next to you, and I want you to be the last thing when I close my eyes, so yes, yes Damn it, I love you. I only hope I didn't kill any hope of you loving me, but the only way I'll know for sure Rick is if you tell me, Please?"
Kate Beckett's Apartment
Christmas Day, 8:45 AM
Kate lay with her head on Rick's chest, as his strong arm held her tightly. To say it had been her best Christmas ever, would not even come close, but there was still the elephant in the room, Kyra, and Kate knew, Rick, well she did as well, HAD to discuss it.
"Babe, have you ever made love to anyone like that before, I mean I know we both have past lives, but I have never been taken over the top as often or as high as you brought me every single time.
My God, do you take supplements or was that just two years of horniness being released? I've never made love four times in one night before, so Thank You, you were so sweet with each time it got better and better."
Rick kisses her sweetly on the forehead as his hand wanders up to her breasts, "I can assure you Kate, it had nothing to do with being horny, well it did but horny for you since the day I met you. As he gently plays with her nipples, she mounts him and makes the Christmas Holiday truly one to remember.
As they lay together, both spent and satisfied, he looked her in the eye and asked,
"Kate, the pet name you call me Babe, have you ever called any of the others by that name?"
"NO, that name just slipped out, and if you don't like it, I'm so*"
Her words are crushed with a sweet kiss from Rick, "Never said I didn't like it, I just needed to know that I'm the one in your head, in your heart, and in your bed, I want this to be an open and honest relationship and we can't start off by lying."
"I agree, and while we're on that subject, if we're a couple, which in my heart, and soul we are, we need to deal with your ex, Rick she will haunt you till you resolve the hurt. I'll be here, I'll do anything, including nothing or staying away if you need me to, but Please Babe, for me, you have to end that chapter before ours can begin."
Rick pulls her in tighter, and softly kisses her, and then he stares, almost like he is looking into a time machine, or trying to make the past go away. Then he speaks, "Angel."
"I'm sorry, Angel what Rick?"
Still looking far away, he repeats the word, "Angel," Kate decides to wait him out this time, and in a few minutes, he said, "I'm sorry Kate, that's what I used to call her, Angel."
"Rick, look at me, I need to know, who did you make love to last night and this morning, was it me, or was it the Forbidden Angel that just put herself back into your life again, breaking your heart just like she did years ago.
I couldn't comfort you then, but I'm here now, IF you want Kate, not some memory. I won't be a stand in for anyone Rick, no matter how much I love you."
Rick looked deeply hurt, and turns to look Kate in the eyes, "Do you think that I'm capable of making love to you while thinking of anyone else? You have to know how much I love you. I have never, nor would I ever make love to someone when my heart wasn't with them, I'm not that guy Kate," as the anger grows and hurt deepens. His blue eyes are now filled with tears just like Kyra had done,
"Babe, I'm sorry, that was stupid, so stupid and I know you're over her, at least in my heart I'm hoping and praying that I hold your heart like the Christmas card you gave me, and you want to try to love again with me"
"I can understand you feeling threatened Kate, hell I would have been a lot worse if one of your ex's had re-entered your life, but just because I don't talk about the hurt, doesn't mean I still Love her. I try to express my love to you, every day, and if you have doubts now is the time to get them on the table. As much as Kyra hurt me, you would break me Babe, I mean physically, mentally and emotionally I would be done."
Kate has tears in her eyes when she hears those words, making what she is about to propose even harder to say and allow it to happen, God why does Love have to be so hard.
"This may sound stupid to you Rick, so please hear me out, then we'll talk please. It may sound stupid that I want you to see Kyra one more time, not for you, you have your closure Babe, but I need to know that I am your number one.
You do express your love for me, in so many different ways, and I appreciate them all. I have never felt the way I feel about you with anyone, and when Kyra called, the thought of her taking you away from me along with the fact that you were wounded not once, but twice and almost died was too much and I fainted.
PLEASE don't take this as an endorsement or permission to jump her bones, I only want a one woman man and I don't share with anyone, but I don't want to be sitting with you twenty years from now, as you stare out a window and think IF ONLY.
I want you to know that you made your choice based on Love, not pressure, sex or the opinions of Gina or Paula or anyone else. I have to admit I was surprised at the fierceness of each, and how protective they are of Martha and you both. It's comforting to know but I hope I never have to go to battle with either of them."
Rick is very quiet, even his arm has stopped the gentle caressing of her body, and once again goes into the stare. Kate is learning to let him alone in these times, so she quietly slips out of bed, to return with a carafe of coffee and condiments, he was in the same position as when she had left. He finally takes a deep breath, and slowly turns to Kate who has rejoined him in bed,
"I felt you leave, before, was I just imagining that?"
"No Babe, as she pulls the serving tray over to the side of the bed, I just made some coffee, it looked like we both could use some."
"Kate, I'm sorry, I know it may sound foolish, and I must look like an Ass to you but when those times are brought up, I need to open the compartment within to let them out to analyze. I had gotten very proficient of just keeping the hurt and bad feelings inside till I met you.
Now, you are asking me to relive the worst day, well at least the worst one in my personal relationship history. I'm not sure I can do it, I mean you think I'm this tough Marine, and then I go diving for under the couch at the sound of a firecracker. Some tou*"
"ENOUGH of that Richard Rogers Castle, I won't have you demeaning the man I love, the man who spent two years of his life on a volunteer mission, and almost paid for it with his life, who now suffers from PTSD, and is so brave he has fought it by himself, always helping others never taking time for himself to properly heal. Rick, I love you, and that isn't going to change no matter what you do, just let me in to help you, Please"
"Help me how Kate? I mean we both know that would require me seeing a shrink, and*"
"And if that's what it takes that's what we'll do, look buddy it's not your life anymore, it's ours, at least I hope it is if you agree."
Rick looks at Kate, lovingly and then stares into her hazel eyes, "How did I get so lucky, you do know what you are taking on don't you? I mean PTSD is something that has broken more relationships, caused more heartache than I care to think about.
I don't want to drag you down, you are studying for your Bar Exams in a few weeks, so can we wait till you pass them, then We will go seek counseling, if that's OK with you?"
Kate begins to cry, and pulls him in for a hug, so tight, he almost chokes, then she smothers him in kisses, starting at his temple all the say down his jaw line, till he takes over and gives her the Christmas that seems to keep on giving.
"So, I take it that was a yes," he smiles her smile for him and his blue eyes sparkle.
"You Goof, of course it's a yes, and since we are waiting till after the bar exams to start our PTSD treatment, we will allow the Doctor to discuss the timeline or even if it's a good idea to talk to Kyra again, is that OK Babe?"
"It's perfect, hey don't we have dinner at your parents in Oh my God we have to be there in an hour and 45 minutes, one shower between us, and Kate, don't turn me on again, we'll never make it," as he kisses her deep, long and passionately.
He felt free, after so long the feeling was back, he was in love and she didn't care about the baggage he brought, in fact she took charge and shared it, Yes, there is a Santa Claus.
Later that Evening,
Castle's Loft
He falls asleep to her soft singing of a song she had written long before she even knew if she would ever see her Blue Eyes again. He had caught her singing it earlier, and she confessed, she went home the night Kyra left him and wrote the lyrics. She added the tune to it once she was back in college, and wondered just where he might be, and said a prayer to return him safely home each night, yes there was a God.
Hey Blue Eyes, by Stana Katic
Hey blue eyes, tomorrow became yesterday
What was will never be felt again
I fell in love with you
Over a smile so gold, I was through
Where did you come from, why did you come from there
Got yourself a woman, do I even care
I want you to want me, the way that I want you
Ain't it strange how god fixed a plan
To want the world to find solace in the bodies of a woman and a man
Come to me close boy, take my hand
And we'll fly off to a magic land
A/N This is the conclusion of Forbidden Angel, BUT I will be following it up immediately after with Fallen Angel 2 and hopefully I can get the site to post the chapters as they had in the past. As always, I appreciate you taking this journey with me, and thank you for your reads, reviews, favorites and follows
