[IF YOU'VE RECEIVED NOTIFICATION THAT A NEW CHAPTER WAS POSTED 12/16/2012 AND WERE DIRECTED HERE, PLEASE GO TO CHAPTER ONE. IT HAS BEEN REDONE AND ANY OTHER INFO IS ENCLOSED. THANK YOU LOVES!
Alright, we will soon be getting back to regularly scheduled updates. It has been. Crazy. Might get a promotion, still moving our stuff in and getting it organized. Weird going from a whole house to one bedroom. Gotta get rid of stuff and find space for the rest. But at any rate, I still have plenty of muse for this story and it is in no danger of hiatus!
As a side note, I was wondering if there's any fan input on things you'd like to see happen. Even if it doesn't happen in this story, I have a few shorts I'll probably be uploading to another story, basically a bunch of little things in one big shit-storm of Stony. c: So yeah, if you would like to see something happen, don't feel shy. Suggest.
Today I was going over the chapters, just reading and enjoying. And, wow. I love you guys because I don't know how you put up with this shit that I've been typing. This story is a horrible rough draft. I will be fixing the chapters NOW instead of later. Keep an eye out. I think that you'll like the revised version much better than what I've been putting out if you think this is super good. (:
And one last little bit, I am thinking about getting a Beta Reader of sorts. I'm hoping one of you will volunteer. Do so via PM. I'm looking for someone with a good grasp of spelling and grammar, and someone who's willing to tell me when something in a chapter just doesn't make sense. So. Again. If interested. Yeah.]
Fingers fidgeted with the cream colored buttons again, as though Tony hadn't already checked fourteen times to make sure they were all in their right hole. This was ridiculous, and it was sort of destined to fail. However, that small sense of dread was slowly being overcome by the fact that Tony was excited. Not just excited, ecstatic. Ready to burst at the finely-stitched seems. Really, though. This was just.. stupid. So stupid. How had he let himself get pulled into actually doing this whole dinner thing? Because it wasn't a date. At all. It wasn't even remotely close. It was a casual dinner between two friends. A casual dinner that he was dressing up for. Tight leather pants, a black button-up that hung just above his ass cheeks, hinting that there was something waiting to be ta-
"Fucking get your shit together, Stark," Tony hissed at himself in the mirror. Exasperated sigh escaped him, and the man reached up to ruffle his hair. It looked so much better messy. Oh, but maybe that wasn't what Steve was into. Wait. That made it better. Messy. Because he wasn't out to impress Steve. Sure, Tony had put off every possible event that could have ruined the night. Every time he had a really hurtful statement, or a way to throw Steve off his trail, he'd think about that kiss. How perfectly their mouths pressed together, how warm.. soft..
A knock at the door brought a growl from his throat, and he slammed down the bottle of cologne he hadn't realized he was shaking. One last look at himself in the mirror, and Tony was out of his bathroom and to his bedroom door. The group that met him was a little startling.
"Avengers assemble " Tony asked hopefully as Thor, Natasha, Clint, and Bruce all stood with crossed arms. Natasha was the first to push past Tony and into the room. Shortly after he was surrounded and his door was shut again, and even though a grin slipped onto his features, it was nervous. Because he hadn't been surrounded this way since... Well. The week after the funeral, probably. Except Steve had been there, too. He wasn't here. For some strange reason. Chest tightened, and his eyes shifted from one serious face to the next.
"Is Steve hurt, or-" Tony began frantically, trying to press past Clint, who was leaning on the door. "Oh my god and I've been in here getting ready for this stupid dayyy-inner. Dinner."
"Stark," Clint said with an amused smirk. Tony didn't look at him.
"Not that it matters on a personal level," Tony quickly said, looking again from face to face, as each tried not to smile. "I mean yeah we're friends and. Stuff. But I mean you know, who cares, he's a tough-"
"Will you shut up?" This time it was Bruce, and he did laugh, not caring that Tony shot him a glare. "Steve's fine. Nervous. Just like you."
"I am not-" Tony began, going straight into defensive mode, because he was the Stark Playboy! Calm, collected, a fucking God in bed. Steve was in for the night of his life! Or. He would be. He should be.. Ugh! Why couldn't they all go the hell away?
"The Green Giant man is right, Man of Iron, now is not the time for you to speak," Thor said cheerily, clapping Tony on the shoulder and ignoring the death glare he received. He was sort of used to it these days, and hardly felt threatened by the man. After all, Tony was puny and adorable. His hammer would make short work of him.
"Now, Stark." Natasha was speaking up now, and Tony's eyes locked on her. Snarky remarks out the window, she had on a murderous look and he was not willing to piss her off further than she apparently was. "Tonight is a big mission for you. Think of it that way. Victory means you crawl out of your own ass and accept that this is a date and it's destined for greatness. Defeat means I will personally shove something up your ass to retrieve that brain of yours, and it won't be anything pleasant."
Tony wasn't sure he should retort, because Natasha had long arms. He shuddered at the image this idea brought to mind, because that was never something he wanted to try. At least not with her, probably not with anyone else either.
"You'll do just fine, Stark," Clint said cheerfully, obviously excited at the prospect of seeing Natasha cause anyone pain. "Really, it's just like any other date. Except this one means something to you."
Now Tony was outright annoyed, because he did not like to be told how he felt. Nor did he enjoy being cornered and attacked by the people he called his friends. Even if that was still a confusing category for them to all be in, because friend had a very different meaning in Tony's world.
"Tony, listen," Bruce said quietly, and honestly Banner was lucky that Tony had a hell of a lot of respect and trust invested in the man. "No matter what you want to call this, you and Steve have fun. Do not do everything in your power to make it miserable. Please. You both need this." Had Tony not thought of Bruce as a highly intelligent- nearly as intelligent as himself- person, he would have brushed that off and gotten further annoyed. Instead, he sighed in defeat and held up his hands.
"I'm not making promises to any of you, especially not Steve," Tony told them, refusing to look into their eyes. "This is not something that's meant to work out. He's.. Fuck. He's Captain America. He's a beautiful human being, and I'm a playboy alcoholic. I'm not changing overnight, and I'm not sure I'm changing at all. He's asking too much."
"You are fighting too hard," Thor corrected sympathetically, and that was it. Tony did shove Clint aside this time, and out the door, leaving the four to wonder if that had hurt or helped.
To hell with this. Tony was going to march right up to Steve, look him straight in those dazzling blue eyes, and cancel-
Oh.
Oh.
Steve stood just down the hall, hands in his pockets. Black slacks looked so good on the man, and the white, blue-striped button up did wonders for his frame. Not to mention, the blue matched those eyes. Those wonderful eyes that were always on Tony's mind.
What had Tony been planning on doing?
"Evening, Tony," Steve said happily, drawing closer. He hadn't said much to Tony all week, hadn't tried to coax anymore kisses. Tony might not be crawling into bed with him anymore, but he certainly wasn't avoiding Steve either. Steve counted that as a small, silent victory, and decided not to push his luck by grabbing Tony by the waist and yanking him into a passionate hello.
Not until later, and then it would be a goodbye.
"Looking.. Oh fuck Steve, I can't even think of something smart to say," Tony admitted, and they were both surprised. Because that was usually something Tony didn't say out loud, instead he would just think it and get frustrated, pounding his brain until he could figure something out. Something to say that would either cut deep or get a smirk. Tonight that just wasn't working. "You look astounding. Ten out of ten, I would hit that." Fuck he was being frank! Palms were sweaty and he really wished someone would attack the city right this moment.
"Lookin' good yourself, Stark," Steve replied, offering his arm. Tony just looked at it, and then crossed his own arms.
"Look, Steve, I'm not a girl," Tony insisted, ignoring the amusement on Steve's face. "I don't need you to hold doors and walk me on your arm, nor do I need you to pay-"
"Tony." That God damn tone. Tony was going to have to change his name or something. "Will you just hush and relax?" Steve knew this was going to be a pain in the ass the moment he'd asked Tony to dinner. Still he was feeling positive about the whole idea, and as such he dropped his arm and decided it could wait until later. "Alright. Fine, no hand holding. Still not a date, I gotcha." And suddenly Tony was livid, because only he could be snarky. Steve was not allowed to pull his own tricks on him, that was just dirty.
Before he could open his mouth to speak, to argue.. He was falling into step with the Captain. And he was relaxing, just like Steve had asked him to. And wow, this was really exciting. Finally. He was going to get to see what this was like. To.. go to dinner with Steve. Slowly but surely, logic was defying Tony's stubborn thought process and kept slipping the word date into his mind. Hmph. Well, he'd worry about that later. After a bit more bickering and then some much needed laughter, they were on their way to a quiet restaurant Quiet, and very busy. Lots of people staring at them, whispering about Tony Stark and his 'date'. Bastards. Even they wouldn't let Tony just live in his own fantasy.
The first fifteen minutes seated at the table were about as awkward and silent as Tony could stand. Honestly he should be grateful for that, should be hoping that it would continue on this way. But then he was growing horribly uncomfortable. And Steve was just smiling at him. Staring him down like he was a slab of meat, and Tony wished not for the first time that things could just not be complicated. Why couldn't Steve just want a one night stand? Except, Tony knew he himself wouldn't be able to stand that one.
"Why are we doing this to ourselves?" Tony asked abruptly, throwing Steve a little off guard. Before he could question Tony, the man was shrugging and continuing on. "I know what you want. And I wish I could give it to you. I wish I could be this person you think I am. But Steve, it was hard enough breaking out of this playboy thing for Pepper."
"I'm a patient man, Stark," Steve said with a pleasant smile, leaning on his fist and refusing to waver to the scowl he was given. "I waited two years for you to finally be a normal human being and get upset over the loss of someone you loved. You think I can't wait a little longer?"
"I'm not talking a little longer," Tony hissed, pushing his drink aside. Steve had absolutely insisted he just have one, so he was trying to savor it. But God he wished he could just ask for a whole bottle. "I'm talking this might not ever happen. Why are you pushing this so hard?"
"Because I've wanted to be with you for so long now, no amount of complaining on your end is going to phase me," Steve said with a shrug. "You've tried to push me away, remember? I'm not exactly going anywhere. I know what I want, all I'm waiting for now is for you to admit to what you want."
Tony paused at that. It was like an intervention or some shit, except for it was just himself and Steve. At least his alcoholism wasn't being attacked. Tony very much loved his alcohol, and he'd hate to have to defend it to the death. Still, this was difficult. If only Steve hadn't known him so well. That was the most frustrating part. As much of a turn on as it was, it also made Tony feel so vulnerable.
Somehow Steve steered the conversation to light and casual just as their food arrived, and before long Tony was trying not to laugh at all of his jokes, trying not to spit his drink on more than one occasion Steve was just as entertained, listening to stories from parties that Tony hardly remembered. A comfortable silence fell between them, and for a moment this felt like a real date- to both of them. Tony even found himself enjoying it, and he nearly reached out to take Steve's hand.
Nearly.
"Tell me something about you and Peggy, Steve," Tony finally said softly, throwing both of them off. When Steve raised a questioning brow at the sudden demand, Tony shrugged slightly. "It's uh.. I mean, I've just been talking a lot about Pepper lately. I've just been thinking lately about how you never really got to talk about it. None of us were here for you, really. If I'm going to open up like this, then I want something back from you."
It took a few moments, because Steve didn't know where to start. Tony had read his file, that much he was positive of. So surely he knew that Steve and Peggy had been in the war together. But there was so much more hidden beneath their business relationship, wasn't there?
"She was a wonderful dame," Steve said, leaning back and holding onto his glass of water. Wow, he hadn't really thought about her all that recently. It was nice to get back to that old habit "Beautiful brunette. Her hair was always curled just right, I'm not sure how she managed.. And her eyes.. A guy could get lost in them."
Tony was leaning forward now, chin propped on one hand, not realizing just how interested he was. It was nice to see Steve so excited to talk about something. It was actually sweet in it's own way. Sweet? Wow, Tony really was turning into a girl around the soldier. Ah well, he'd question that later.
"We were going to go dancing," Steve continued, soft, pained smile slipping onto his lips. "I'm about seventy years late, you know. But she was my dancing partner. All I ever wanted to do with her. It seemed so romantic at the time, but there was so much more she deserved. Dinners watching the stars. We just met at a very difficult time in our lives." He paused, watching the ice in his drink dwindle away to nothing. "When I went down, she was there with me. Not in person, but over the radio. We agreed to postpone the date. It was silly, honestly. We both knew.. I wasn't walking away from that one. Still, I would have been so much more terrified at the moment if she hadn't talked to me until the final moment." He trailed off, feeling a bit strange now. It was nice to open up, but like Tony, it was something he didn't usually bring up.
Another silence fell between them, this one a bit less comfortable. The dinner was finished this way, and before long they were walking down the street. Steve had picked a restaurant not far away, for this reason. He wanted to walk. For a few simple reasons, of course.
As his arm carefully slung over Tony's shoulder, one of his objectives was complete. Just a little closeness. At first Tony went rigid, surprised by the action. But then he was relaxing, hands in his pockets, and a genuine smile graced his features. This wasn't quite so awful, was it? Maybe he could make this work, maybe this was one of those things he just wouldn't allow his screwed up mind to ruin for him.
Maybe.
"She got married, you know," Steve said quietly, but there was no hint of pain in his voice. Tony looked at him questioningly. "Peggy. Has family. I've seen them. She made beautiful children, beautiful grandchildren. I've wanted.. to go meet them, but I don't know what I'd say. I just wanna hear how happy she was. Wanna hear good things."
"So go you big lug," Tony said with a grin, gently pinching Steve's side. The way the bigger man squirmed nearly drove him crazy, because Tony could imagine making him squirm in quite different ways. Maybe tonight. After all, they had just had dinner.. Dinner meant sex, right? Wait, Steve wasn't that type, not on the first date. Soft huff escaped him, and he found his own arm slinking around Steve's waist.
The rest of the walk was pleasant and silent, and Tony ignored the stares and occasional flash of cameras. Gosh, couldn't even walk down the street with another male superhero holding you close without people getting all freaked out! Steve, on the other hand, seemed to have a little more of a hard time with this. He wasn't used to stares, he wasn't used to being open with another man.
Tony felt the way he tensed, and took to casually stroking Steve's back. The way he shivered gave Tony ideas. How the fuck was he supposed to behave himself with Steve being so adorably fuckable? Thoughts were interrupted, though, as they made it to Stark tower. Up the elevator, and Tony began to think; they really needed to sleep somewhere else. Maybe an actual home for all the Avengers, instead of this stupid Tower. Work and home were all in one for him, but the others might need a break from time to time.
It was at Tony's door that things got interesting, because as he turned to say goodnight to Steve, to thank him for the dinner that was not at all a date, he paused. The way Steve looked at him was familiar and terrifying all at once. So many emotions raged within his eyes, and without a second thought Tony was leaning up as Steve leaned in.
Lips met, but it wasn't rough. It wasn't a crash like the last time. Soft, slow, hands hesitant. The worst part was, it was Tony that was hesitant. Fingers carefully slipped together behind Steve's neck, eyes already slipping shut in pure bliss. This was a good kiss, a real kiss. Wow, Tony hadn't had a kiss this good in ages, and he wasn't sure how Steve knew. Steve was so.. innocent. Tony couldn't imagine that he'd had sex. Actually, he just downright refused. No, not Captain America! No way. No..
What was he thinking moments ago? Because he was really distracted with the way Steve's tongue slipped between his lips.
Tony sucked in a breath as Steve slipped fingers under the hem of Tony's shirt, carefully tracing his hip bones. Wow. How were they keeping this soft and sweet, and how the hell were they not naked and in Tony's bedroom right now? Apparently Steve had the same thought, because moments later he broke away, pulling his tongue back with much resistance, because Tony had taken to gently sucking and nibbling on it. He knew how to be a tease, after all.
It took a moment to compose themselves, especially with Tony trying desperately to resume the kiss. Maybe just once, they could do this. They could pretend they were a real couple, a happy couple. A couple coming home from a nice, romantic dinner, to their bed. God, who the hell was he kidding? He was so head over heels for this marvelous man. Soft groan escaped him as Steve placed his hands on his shoulders, smiling and refusing to let him lean any closer.
"I had a lot of fun, Tony," Steve told him, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. "So lets do it again, soon. Sound good to you?"
Tony wanted to say what they both wanted; that he'd belong only to Steve, that this meant he was done being the playboy everyone knew and loved. But he couldn't. "Dinner, Rogers," Tony said softly. "I can do dinner anytime. But that's what we call it right now."
"Or we can call it a date, Tony," Steve countered, carefully reaching up to run his fingers through the mans hair. Tony pressed against the touch. "But for the night we can call it whatever you'd like." Tony tried one last time to lean in to continue the kiss, but Steve just chuckled. "Goodnight, Tony," he said firmly.
As Tony watched him go, he was already calculating just how long it would take to get the lubricant, take care of his aching problem, and take a shower. Maybe he should just combine it. Yep, moments later he was grabbing a towel, and rushing into the bathroom. Long night? You have no idea.
But Steve and Tony sure did.
[Alright. ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. We're getting THERE. To the relationship. BUT IT'S NOT QUITE READY. Just a little longer, because Tony's working on his shit.
Please review, because reviews help me to better the story.]
