Fenris decided he first needed to spend a night alone with Dorian. They had much to discuss, not the least of which was the ring Dorian wore. Fenris knew that Dorian understood the meaning of it, but Fenris was never able to tell Dorian what he needed to tell him, before offering the ring.

Fenris still loved Dorian deeply, but he was frightened that his ordeal had affected him too much. He feared that he would never desire another person's touch. The thought of it was still repulsive to his traumatized brain, and he still shuddered at even the thought of Dorian's touch.

Dorian closed the door after Zevran's departure, flipping the lock to prevent Isabella from just barging in as she had a habit of doing. A dinner for two was set up at the table in their cabin, and Dorian sauntered over to pour a glass of wine for each of them.

Dorian was visibly nervous, fidgeting with his clothing and uncharacteristically silent. He was afraid to say the wrong thing to Fenris. In his current state, saying the wrong thing could lead to an argument, which Dorian desperately wanted to avoid.

Dorian walked over to Fenris and handed him a glass of wine, noting that Fenris appeared just as apprehensive as he felt. Fenris just nodded in thanks for the wine and gulped it down, holding out the glass for more. Dorian happily obliged, quaffing his own wine and pouring two more glasses.

"Shall we try to eat while the food is still warm?" Dorian offered.

Neither of them were particularly hungry, but it was something to do until one of them got the courage to break the ice. Fenris sat and sipped his wine, staring off in the distance, avoiding Dorian's gaze. Why was he so terrified?

Fenris forced himself to look up at Dorian, to look into his eyes filled with fear and concern. Concern for him. Fenris' carefully constructed wall began to recede a little at that realization, remembering how Dorian always seemed to care more about Fenris' feelings above his own, despite all his outward, public arrogance.

"I'm sorry Dorian," Fenris said softly "I have been keeping my distance from you and it's unfair. You have done nothing to deserve that. I'm just frightened … frightened over how I will react to your touch … to anyone's touch … after what happened."

"Then you must be the one to touch, when you are ready. I'll keep my hands to myself," Dorian promised.

Fenris reached out and grabbed Dorian's hand, the one adorned with the ring. Dorian let him hold it, Fenris' finger gently stroking the ring, his heart still filled with confusion over everything, the barriers around his heart still up.

"When I purchased this ring, I was feeling the happiest I had ever felt in my life, as far as I could remember. Loving you was the best thing that had ever happened to me. You always knew how to make me feel loved, wanted and beautiful. I cherished that about you," Fenris said, his voice cracking with emotion, eyes welling with tears.

Fenris' eyes sought out Dorian's and he continued "Now I am uncertain how I feel, of what I want. I miss feeling so loved, but I'm so frightened that I will never be able to feel that way again."

Fenris let himself go, sobbing openly. Dorian kept his promise, and he didn't rush to his side to hold him like he desperately wanted to. He waited patiently.

Fenris slid to his knees from the chair, and haltingly reached out for Dorian, wrapping his arms around the mage, seeking comfort and solace. "Hold me, Dorian … please," Fenris pleaded softly between sobs. Only then did Dorian reach out and wrap his strong arms around the grieving elf. For a long while they remained like that, holding each other. Dorian's heart broke for Fenris' pain, tears welling in his own eyes, wanting desperately to take away the pain.

Through his grief, Fenris realized that the mere touch of Dorian still felt good. It felt comforting and safe, and not at all repulsive. Once Fenris had finally calmed himself he stood up, looking down at Dorian. He took Dorian's hand and led him over to the bed.

"I need to feel your body next to mine, please. I just need you to hold me for a while longer," Fenris said, as he began to undress Dorian.

It became clear that Fenris wanted to feel his skin against his own, and the thought of lying naked next to his love went straight to his groin. Dorian struggled to keep from getting an erection, and failed miserably. By the time Fenris got to removing Dorian's breeches and smallclothes, it stood proudly at attention, and Dorian blushed apologetically at Fenris.

"I see some things haven't changed," Fenris said with a slight quirk of his mouth. "It is nice to know you still desire me," Fenris said.

Dorian looked at Fenris, reaching out to cup his face, but pulling back remembering his promise. He then simply said "Always."

Fenris then removed all his clothing as well and lay down on his side on the bed. He reached out his hand and gestured for Dorian to join him. Dorian climbed into the bed and wrapped his arms around Fenris, spooning him protectively.

Fenris was trying to get used to the feel of someone touching him this intimately again. He found his body responding to Dorian's closeness, and he breathed in Dorian's scent of spice and musk. He had missed that scent more than he had realized.

Fenris turned, facing Dorian. He brought his hand up to cup the mage's face, stroking a thumb over his cheek, his full lips, admiring how handsome the man was.

"I think you should grow back the mustache," Fenris said.

Dorian nodded, not wanting to break Fenris' reverie.

Then Fenris shifted, leaning in, tentatively kissing Dorian. Fenris surprised himself with how much he had missed feeling Dorian's lips on his, kissing Dorian with increasing hunger. Fenris' hands began to explore Dorian's body, touching, caressing … wanting.

What surprised Fenris was what he was wanting, and his mind flashed back to the first time he and Dorian made love. Even then he'd wanted it … needed it, and Dorian was so gentle, so patient, so loving. Dorian had always known how to make him feel beautiful, desirable, even after all the abuses he had suffered.

Fenris realized he wanted that again. Needed it so desperately.

"Dorian," Fenris began, huskily, his eyes half-lidded with desire, "please take me, like you did our first time together. Make me feel beautiful again. I need you so much … please."

"You are so very beautiful, my love … my Amatus," Dorian breathed into Fenris' ear, licking and nibbling at the sensitive flesh.

Dorian kissed and caressed Fenris, everywhere, slowly and lovingly. As the first time, all he wanted to do was bring pleasure, not pain. He lovingly kissed and stroked Fenris' erection causing him to moan Dorian's name.

When he felt that Fenris couldn't take it anymore, he slowly spread Fenris' legs, using his magic to help relax Fenris' muscles. This time he also had some oil on hand and used it to slick his fingers, slowly inserting them into Fenris' tight heat, slowly preparing him for their lovemaking.

All Fenris could do was groan in pleasure, moaning Dorian's name when the mage's fingers curled in just the right spot sending intense pleasure throughout Fenris' body, causing his lyrium to glow faintly.

Dorian then settled himself between Fenris' legs, lifting his legs over his shoulders, stroking his thighs and hips gently before finally lining himself up and slowly breaching Fenris' entrance. Dorian took his time, going slow as to avoid causing pain or discomfort. Finally he was completely inside his lover and it felt so wonderful.

"Are you still alright, my love?" Dorian asked, while waiting for Fenris to adjust to him again.

"More than alright," he moaned, bucking his hips to indicate he was ready for more.

Slowly Dorian began to move, sliding nearly entirely out and then sliding back in. Making love to Fenris, enjoying every millimeter of his hot depths, his every moan of pleasure. The look of bliss and peace on Fenris' face nearly doing Dorian in.

Fenris began to buck his hips impatiently, indicating to Dorian to move faster. He was more than happy to oblige, and their love making sped up, the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh and Dorian began to drive into Fenris, no longer being gentle. Dorian wrapped his hand around Fenris' erection, pumping his hand in time with his thrusts, needing to bring Fenris over the edge first.

Fenris was writhing in pleasure beneath him, arching his back and screaming Dorian's name when he finally reached his release, driving Dorian over the edge of the abyss as well, making a final thrust and spilling his seed deep inside of Fenris before collapsing on him in exhaustion.

The waves of pleasure Fenris had experienced seemed to cleanse him, to wash away the fear and shame of his ordeal.

"Thank you, my love," Fenris said to Dorian. "Thank you for making me feel so beautiful and wanted. I love you."

Dorian kissed Fenris tenderly, before responding "I love you, too, Amatus. Now and forever."