Lesson in life.
And here's to you, my friend; I found peace and I hope you did as well, or that you will. We made a large line behind that part of our lives and I think it's all well. I am here. You are you and I am here for you if you need anything. If you need to talk, I can listen, if you need to scream and punch, I can show you how, if you need to to dip into the insanity of life, I can take you with me, we can make a bonfire, we can dance in the rain, we can sing, we can bungee-jump or we can just go 'round and laugh at people. Heads up, girl. You're not alone.
Aside of that; read :) I hope this thing made sense or was at least enjoyable, I hope it was readible even with the OOC'ness of the red-headed demon.
You rise with the first sun feeling like you haven't slept at all the whole night. You are half-tempted to return to bed instead of putting your clothes on and going to meet up with a Yato representative to get yourself dutifully updated on the happenings.
You go, because you know Abuto would never let you live it down if you 'cut down' on your 'duties'.
You go and the guy is young and new and tries to talk to you, so you tell him not to and you apologise and you let him talk and even pay attention from time to time.
By the end of those four hours you spend off-ship you are smiling slightly and you joke back at the guy and then you look around and you are surprised you see colours.
Not in the way everyone does, not in the 'oh hey, the sky's blue' way, no. You look around and you smile at the world, because it's colourful, and you look for green on the grass and white on the sea, instead of the purple-black and white you were used to searching for.
You take a detour on your way back, just touring the small town whose only interesting thing is that it's got a space-harbour, aimless, thinking.
You think about
'light'.
You say the word few times, it's short and the way it sounds makes no justice to it's meaning. It starts with a click of your tongue against the upper pallate, breath is pushed out of your throat in one burst and then you bite gently on the sides of your tongue and cut the air off in between tongue's tip and teeth.
It starts with an 'el', just like so many other words, but for some reason you connect it to love and yes, those words are funny.
You return and ask Bansai if you can visit him and you find some light in the way he says why'd you think you can't?
He offers coffee and you agree, but since he doesn't have that and neither of you wants to go into the kitchen, you just sit down and you talk.
And you talk and you talk and when you leave, you keep thinking that perhaps that 'no' was the best ever gift Shinsuke could have given you, the freedom it offers filling you like new life.
You return to bed late and you smile and you fall asleep within a minute.
Such is the first day and perhaps you are just hyped up and you'll be back in the dark muds in the morning, but for this moment all you think about is that you haven't had a good fight in quite a while.
You wonder about love, again.
There is so many faces of affection, so many faces of love.. how are you sure you were right to name it? You think it won't be that difficult to return to simply loving to keep him company and respecting him as a rival, as a friend.
You wonder that maybe your own fall was upon your will, a sweet revenge of your mind for ever wondering what would it be like to love him.
For wondering what even is that human love.
You realize you haven't felt the desire to kick him in his face in a long time and you smirk at the ceiling and think.. that the first thing you will do tomorrow is going to be that.
The next week is a blur of fists, blades and blood. You earn a scar down your face that takes four days to fade, for how deep it is, he ends up with his knee bones shattered and collarbone broken. You know you should be sorry for injuring him, but it is damage easily mended what with modern medical equipment. You are a bit sorry about his knee, but that will be repaired, too, in two or three weeks.
'Light'.
You start with a click of your tongue and the word would be so easily swayed into a different one; if you continued widening the [a] instead of clipping it, if you ended it with your teeth against your lips, instead of tongue tapping the teeth.
Light is easily changed into love and for how much hate you have for sun, you find you cannot hate the light that comes from people. The energy, the life in humans, when they talk, when they listen, when they move- you saw Shinsuke's lone eye catch light reflected from his blade, but even that sight is nothing against the light that can shine from inside of him, the delight in getting to move and to fight. You think you feel the same happiness when your body is given freedom to dance and you wonder if your eyes shine so much, too, but that's too cliche for you to ask, so you keep your mouth shut.
Your time with the Kiheitai comes to an end after that and you would have wondered why or you would have argued, but Abuto is pissed and you and Shinsuke have managed to sink three ships during those seven days.
It's all very recreational and you leave with a smile on your face and without a look back.
You wave above your head without looking whether he's watching.
The next time you meet, well.. friends are friends and love has so many faces, but he is your mortal enemy and that's a promise if you have ever been given one.
There will be bloodshed and maybe you two are different now, a bit awkward, a bit nervous, a bit apprehensive, but you think it's okay.
You are in love.
With life.
