A/N: I'm aiming for daily updates, but I am off school today due to snow (I hate snow, it's put me in a bad mood) so should update a few times!

This is random but has anyone else heard Miley Cyrus murder All I Want For Xmas Is You... usually, I think she's okay but god it is awful x)

23. "He's as bad as they get."

Hogwarts staff

"'Ave you had 'Arry's boy yet?" Hagrid sunk despairingly into his chair, magically enhanced to hold his weight, in the staffroom.

"First." Flitwick squeaked.

"Unlucky." Hagrid moaned. "Mark me words, he's the spit of 'is grandad, the firs' James and Sirius Black, and the Weasley twins come ter think o' it."

"He is. I never thought I'd see the first James Potter bested for mischief. I think the second one has." Flitwick inserted tiredly.

"Surely he can't be that bad." McGonagall wondered. The teachers that had already taught the child in question nodded in perfect unison. "Merlin..." She moaned. "He's got the genes of James Potter and the Weasley twins coupled with the brilliance of his parents and the combined knowledge of his whole family. He's lethal."

"Merlin, help us all. I've already caught him trying to stuff a student's head in a Mandrake plant... a Slytherin, I think." Professor Sprout said weakly. "Had to give him detention. Didn't even faze him, said he'd already had one so I 'wasn't his first'. He seemed proud, the little blighter."

"First lesson of Charms and we are practicing levitating feathers. When they all went up in flames the first time, I thought he'd made an honest mistake. When they all rose simultaneously and flew, pointed end first, at an unfortunate Slytherin student... I was a little suspicious. When they attacked a second Slytherin student, I began to suspect something was amiss. When one rose up and wrote 'Slytherin stinks' on the board, and then on various Slytherin students, I knew we had a troublemaker on our hands, a prankster like no other. I gave him detention, apparently it's his third this week."

The other teachers wore varying expressions of horror, terror, nausea, faintness, dread and ill disguised humour (McGonagall, she wasn't Head of Gryffindor technically but her heart would always reside with the house).

"Is he really that bad?" McGonagall attempted.

"He's as bad as they get." Flitwick said solemnly.

"Merlin, help us." Sprout repeated. "Help us all."