CHAPTER ELEVEN

His words lanced deep. Her eyes filled with sudden tears, the shock and pain so deep. My God. How could he?

Staring at him. Hurt, appalled, she felt her stomach curdle and heave. "You make me sick," she choked.

Literally, she thought, stumbling to her feet. She rushed from her chair, back to her ensuile bathroom where she threw herself over the toilet as her stomach emptied again, and again.

Tears streamed from her eyes as she retched, the sourness in her mouth nothing compared to the fire in her heart. He didn't know. He couldn't know. She'd been through hell. She'd been slapped. Struck. Beaten. She'd endured the worst kind of humiliation to keep her daughter safe. Protected. The shame she'd endured had to be worth it. The bruises and tears couldn't be for nothing.

"I'm sorry." Naruto's rough voice came from the doorway. "I was too blunt."

Clutching the rim of the toilet, the porcelain cool against her palms, she shook her head, tears still falling, the pain so hot and fresh that she couldn't master her emotions, that control seemed impossible.

Blunt? Was that all? How about harsh?

Cruel?

She stood, rinsed her face, patted it dry and walked out of the bathroom on trembling legs. She'd married Hiro, was determined to love him, and he'd hurt her. Not just once. But repeatedly, over and over, and the abuse had lasted for years.

Exhausted. Hinata sat down on the fool of her bed. "I'd die if I lost her," she said hoarsely. The tears had stopped falling and yet she could still feel them on the inside. There was so much sadness there, so much pain buried in her heart, and if he thought she found any of this easy, then he didn't know her at all. Losing her parents, growing up fast to become the big sister Ino and Sakura needed, fighting to preserve the family name and interests... it'd been nothing but battle for years.

"She's all I have left. She's all I live for."

"But you have a new life to think of. And that life needs you too."

"Oh, God." Hinata's voice broke, a mirror image of heart. She looked away, biting her lip so hard she tasted blood. In one hasty night she'd undone all that she'd worked so hard to do.

How could she have been so impulsive? So needy? So desperate?

"What's done is done." Naruto sounded as controlled and as unemotional as she was distraught and broken. "The only thing to do now is move forward."

"I can't. Because I can't lose her. I won't. She's my heart."

He said nothing for a long moment and then she heard him sigh, a hard heavy sigh that seemed to come from deep within his soul.

She looked up, tucked a long strand of hair behind an ear "'I've talked to lawyers. The contract's water-tight."

"Do you have a copy?"

"At the châteaux. In my things."

"I'll request a copy. It wouldn't hurt for me to have a look at it, do some research." He moved into the bathroom, fetched a box of tissues from the marble counter and returned with it.

She took a tissue, wiped her eyes, blew her nose. "Won't do any good." She crumpled tissue in her hands, her chest aching so much it hurt to breathe. She didn't think she'd ever feel the same. To have another child—her cherished dream—but to lose Kaori? What kind of dream was that? "The contract is very specific."

"And it expressly forbids you from taking Kaori from The Tea Country?"

"The contract prevents me from moving, marrying, or having another a child."

His narrowed gaze rested on her face. A small muscle pulled in his jaw. "I won't let them take her from you. We'll find a way to make this work."

"How?"She wiped fresh tears from her eyes and reached for yet another tissue.

"I don't know that yet, but I do know this—there are only two certainties in life—life and death. Everything else is negotiable."

He sounded so hard, so determined. But he didn't know the Hamazakis, didn't know the history.

"Hiro had been their only child, the only son. And his death had changed them. Shut them down. Turned them into bitter, angry controlling people. They weren't going to lose Kaori. They had no one to replace her with. They can't be bought."

"Maybe not with money."

"How else do you buy people?"

"There are lots of ways."

Her mouth, still so sour, dried. She swallowed convulsively; she needed to wash her face. Brush her teeth. Right now she felt like a mess. "How do you know all this?"

His lips curved but it was a ferocious expression, more snarl than smile. "You can thank my family for my extensive education. Due to their influence I understand what motivates them. People aren't that complicated, pedhaki mou . It's just a matter of handling a situation right."

"You're saying you think you could find a way to—" she broke off, searched for the word even as she searched his eye "—pressure the Hamazakis into returning Kaori to me?"

"Pressure, manipulate, what's the difference?" He shrugged, the thick muscles in his shoulders and chest rippling beneath his loose linen shirt. "I don't really worry about the methods."

"You make it sound as if you were perhaps... not exactly on the right side of the law."

He stared down at her, the shadow of his beard making him look wider, darker. "You understand correctly."

She recoiled and yet she wanted to know more. "How did Sai Kazuri find you anyway?"

"We go back a long, long way and when Kazuri explained your situation, the danger you're in, and I told him you needed someone good, someone tough, someone heartless. You needed to be protected at all cost." His lips curved in a small mocking smile. "Kazuri said that would be me."

Even inside where the air was warm, Hinata felt chilled. "You're far from heartless."

"You don't know me."

But they'd been together now nearly two weeks, and he'd proven to her that he was strong, focused, serious. He'd protect her, wouldn't abandon her—he hadn't on the plane, and he didn't intend to now.

"You don't know me," he repeated even more quietly and her heart slowed. Her nerves in state of alert.

"Maybe I don't. But I trust you anyway."

"You trust too easily then."

"Why shouldn't I trust you?" she demanded defiantly.

His blue eyes raked her, taking in her loose hair, her oval-shaped face, the simple dress that clung to her curves, revealing the soft swell of her breast, her smooth throat and bare shoulders, and all of her sweetness and vulnerability. "Because I'm a man"

"And?"

His expression turned mocking. "I'm territorial. Unforgiving. And I protect that which is mine."

Her veins were dancing now, adrenaline shooting through her. "I didn't know I'd become yours."

"You're here."

"You brought me here."

"Exactly."

She tensed, growing angry all over again. She didn't understand and why he should make her feel this way... so frustrated, so filled with wild and conflicting emotions.

There was no reason to feel conflicting emotion. She should want off his island, want away from him. She should want nothing to do with him.

"And then there is the baby, which is mine," he said, still watching her intently. Possessively. "It's my duty to protect both of you now."

"No. It's your duty to get me home. Back to Kaori. That was the deal. That was the promise you made me."

"Before I knew about my child."

His child. What about her child? What about Kaori, her daughter she hadn't seen in three weeks now. "There is no baby yet. I'm barely a week late. My period could still come-"

"It won't."

Her heart pounded. She felt sick all over again. "I haven't spent the last nine years denying myself everything I need, to make a stupid mistake now. And you can't pretend you don't know that I've sacrificed everything—including my pride anddignity—so Kaori can be happy."

"Stop hiding behind your daughter."

"I'm not. I'm protecting her. And if you can't see the difference then I don't know what I ever saw in you!"

"I see the difference. And you know damn well what you see in me." His gaze locked with hers. "But this isn't the time to fight that one. We've enough to cope with at the moment."

At least he was being calm. Relatively reasonable. She appreciated that someone could keep a level head right now.

"There's no reason to panic," he added. "We've time. You won't show for months. That will buy us a lot of time. And later, if you need be, you can dress to hide the pregnancy. Everything has been overwhelming today, but that's part shock, part hormones. Trust me, we can make this work. We can have this baby."

It wasn't until after he left, and she'd begun changing into her swimsuit, that his words hit her can have this baby.

Hands going numb, she struggled to slide the slender strap of black tank style suit over her shoulder. What exactly did he mean?

Brow creasing, she straightened the strap on her and adjusted the suit along her hipbones. When he said 'we', what was he suggesting? Intending?

He knew she couldn't retire from public life and play house. He knew she'd never become Mrs. Naruto Uzumaki. Had he propose they have this baby?

Wrapping the black and white silk sarong around her hips, Hinata tugged a straw hat low on her head and went to the pool. One of the housemaids brought her a light meal and after eating the toasted ham sandwich, she settled into a lounge chair and tried to lose herself in a book.

But she couldn't read, and even the magazines that Naruto had bought for her were unable to hold her interest. Her thoughts were scattered.

The warm afternoon breeze brushed her skin, and closing her eyes, she could picture the baby inside her, could actually feel baby in her arms now.

She could feel the small weight of warmth against her chest, feel the sweetness, the softness, the tender way babies curved against the breast, their little backs, their little bodies, their hands, their mouths.

The thick emotion inside her grew, swelling, a press against her heart, against her throat. She swallowed, pin pricks of pains against her eyes.

She'd never been able to savor Kaori's pregnancy. From the moment she conceived Kaori, Hiro had been angry. Bitter. He hadn't liked Hinata slim, and he hadn't liked her pregnant. Nothing she did was right. Nothing she did was okay. And asshe grew, bigger, bigger, Hiro's temper flared. After she gave birth, Hiro's disgust seemed to know no bound.

He hated her. That was the only conclusion she could come up with. And yet she didn't know what she'd done to provoke such virulent contempt. She'd done everything she was supposed to do. Married him. Slept with him. Conceived his child.

What did she denied him? Nothing.

Maybe that's why he hated her.

She'd been his doormat. She was nothing to him but a place for him to wipe his feet as he came and went. Hello, slam. Goodbye, slam.

The lump in her throat threatened to choke her. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to feel, to remember.

Kaori's first year had been a blur of tears and pain. She could remember the slaps, the fists, the punches only because she remembered trying to hold back the tears, stifling the cries, because she didn't want Kaori to hear. She didn't want her shriek to wake the baby.

Don't wake the baby.

Hinata closed her eyes, tightly. It wasn't fair. It had never been fair, but what could she do? Where could she go? With Kaori's birth she'd effectively given up her freedon, given up her name, her voice, her country. And if she wanted out, she could leave, but leave without Kaori. And God knew, God and all his angels and his eyes and ears knew, there was no way she'd leave Kaori.

Not then. Not now. Not ever.

She reached up swiped a tear from her lower lashes. Swiped another, chest aching, heartbroken. Wouldn't it be amazing to have a baby, and be free to love the baby? Wouldn't it be increedible to have this baby and just hold the baby, hour after hours night after night?

She could see herself lying on her side in bed, see her arm wrapped protectively around her swaddled infant and the baby would smell of powder and lotion and love.

"You can't cry." The lounge chair shifted as Naruto sat down next to her. He tilted her chin up, shook his head. "Crying isn't the answer."

She couldn't whisk the tears away fast enough. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to stop."

She scrubbed at her eyes, her throat so raw, her eyes burning like mad. She wanted to pluck them out. Wanted to tear her heart out. She couldn't stand so many emotions. So many memories. So much buried pain. She'd never really dealt with the memories before, the reality of what had happenned in her marriage with Hiro. She'd thought the best way to recover was to ignore the facts. If she didn't think about it, the truth would fade, the painful details would go away. If she didn't let herself dwell on bad things, the bad things wouldn't hurt her anymore.

But the bad things had hurt her anyway. The bad things had hurt her... bad.

"It should be cried out," she said, struggling to get her voice normal, wanting to find calm again. She was exhausted, truly exhausted. She honestly didn't think she could handle much more of this.

"It's the hormones."

"I didn't feel this teary with Kaori—" She broke off, her eyes lifting, meeting his.

That wasn't true, she thought. She didn't remember. She didn't remember anything about her pregnancy with Kaori except for a pervasive fear. Don't hit me.

Don't hit me. It could hurt the baby. Please God, if he hits me, let him hit my face, not my body, never my body.

She placed a cold hand to her face, fingers covering her cheek, her mouth. She was going to be sick again if she wasn't careful.

"I won't have anymore of this." Naruto voice, hard, tough, unyielding, cut through the fog of her misery. "The crying will only make you sick. It's time for dinner. Go bathe, dress, meet me in half an hour, yes? I won't have you late, and I won't have any more sad faces tonight. Understand?"

She nodded, a wobbily nod, but she got to her feet and drew her sarong snugger around her hips and left the pool for her room. He watched her go and then he, too, headed to his room to shower and dress for dinner.

In the shower, Naruto turned the water on full force and let the hard spray rain down on him, but the daimming pulse of water did little to ease the tension pounding in his head.

It was easy to protect Hinata here, on the Rock. The families living on the island ensured the safety of the island's perimeter, and the villa itself boasted top of the line security technology— alarmed windows and doors, motion detectors, glass protectors, hidden cameras. He'd know if anyone entered the house. He'd know if anyone left the house. He'd know if anyone called at the house. It was his house.

His safe haven. He knew if Hinata remained here, she and the baby would be protected. But she wouldn't be here indefinitely, and he feared what would happen once she returned to her real world.

Toweling off, his whole body still felt hot, hard, his temper simmering just below the surface. Nothing better happen to the princess or the baby. No one better touch them. No man better dare.

He didn't trust himself—didn't trust the outcome—if anyone threatened her now. He'd always been protective of women, but pregnant women? It was a state of grace, a plane of light and beauty. If he still had faith, his faith was in life, the ability to resurrect in the face of suffering and death.

He, who thought he'd lost everything, had a chance to be a father again, he had a chance to hold his child in his arms, love a child. He saw hope where there had been none.

The key was keeping them here where he and his people could watch over her, ensure that no one would get too close, defend her in the event that security broke down.

But security wouldn't break down, he reminded himself, lathering his face and neck, preparing to shave. Security was his specialty. Security was what he knew. He owned the best equipment. Employed the smartest people. Put his staff through the hardest tests and drills.

His people wouldn't let him down.

Rinsing off his razor with hot water, he reached up for one last stroke on the side of his neck and somehow he caught the skin at an angle and blood spurted through the shaving foam.

Naruto stared at his reflection in the mirror, stared at the stream of bright blood, and his body went cold. Ice cold.

Chieko.

He dropped the razor into the basin and stepped back, grabbed a hand towel and blotted his neck, wiping the remainder of the shaving cream away.

He hadn't protected her.

Tears of rage burned the back of his eyes but the tears didn't come. The tears wouldn't come. He tossed the hand towel onto the counter and stalked from the bathroom to his bedroom and dressed. He'd failed Chieko but he wasn't going to fail Hinata. Hinata might not want him, might not love him, but he wouldn't leave her side.

He had a job to do. And he'd damn well do it.

Descending the staircase, Naruto spotted Hinata wandering outside on the terrace. She was wearing a simple blush colored gown, thin straps, smooth delicate bodice, and a long straight skirt falling to her ankles. She'd drawn her hair back in a loose ponytail low at her nape, leaving her neck and shoulders bare.

On the candle lit terrace she looked fragile. Vulnerable. Nothing like the remote princess photographed in glossy international magazines. Nothing like the sophisticated beauty lauded for her exquisite fashion sense.

Here, with the moon rising overhead and the sea breeze lifting tendrils of her dark hair, he could believe she'd been badly used by her late husband. Without the fashionably cut coats and suits, fitted skirts and slacks, without the Italian leather heels and the chic designer purses, hats, expertly coiffed hair the woman—the real woman—was endearingly simple. Sweet. Touching.

She'd never had a normal life. From birth to her marriage, to her husband's death, she'd been indoctrinated, disciplined, dictated to.

She'd belonged to everyone but herself.

And now he was wanting to do what all the others had done: take control of her life, seize power while he could, wrestle the decision making process from her.

He was no different from the others, was he?

Drawing a heavy breath, he stood there, considering her, considering their options. If he let her go today she'd end up seriously hurt—or worse. If he let her return to the Tea Country with another bodyguard she might choose to end the pregnancy. If he kept her here, she'd be safe, and she'd give him the child he wanted more than he'd wanted anything since... since... ever.

He swallowed. He was no virtuous man.

Abruptly Hinata turned, spotted him in the doorway. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked.

"Not long."

She didn't know if she should believe him. Didn't know what to believe at all anymore. Funny how just a glimpse of him and she felt lost, drowning beneath waves of contradictory emotion.

Her first reaction when she spotted him had been pleasure— there he was—the man who made her feel like a real woman again. And immediately following that initial response, was a second one—anger. How dare he try to dictate to her? How dare he try to use the pregnancy to control her?

She'd had enough of men dominating her, speaking down to her, trying to plan her life for her.

A maid appeared, bobbed her head, murmured something to Naruto. Hinata watched as he immediately left the terrace, returning to the house. He wasn't gone long, and when he came back five minutes later, he was carrying a sheet of paper.

Wordlessly Naruto handed it to her.

It was a faxed letter, a letter initially printed on Konoha palace stationery. The letter had been written by the palace secretary. Princess Hinata, we regret to inform you...

Her hand trembled. She looked up, swallowed, shook her head. Couldn't be.

Impossible. She'd had to have read the telegram wrong.

Blinking, Hinata forced away tears, and read the message again.

We regret to inform you of the death of Her Royal Highness...

It was the same.

Ice swallowed her, engulfing her, freezing everything from her heart to her trembling hand.

"Naruto," she whispered his name, her voice failing her. "She's gone."

"I'm sorry."

She swayed a little, stared at the words blurring beneath her regret to inform you... we regret... we... we...

She felt his hand at her waist, felt him guide her to a chair. She allowed herself to be seated, swallowing around the sourness filling her mouth. "Grandmama's gone."

"When are the services?"

"Soon." She clenched her fist, wrinkling the fax. "I can't believe—" She broke off, struggled to take a breath. "I knew it could happen, but... you never do think... you never want to think..."

His hand lightly rubbed her back, calming, soothing. "I'll make arrangements for us to leave first thing in the morning."

She was downstairs early, her things packed by one of the house maids in a leather suitcase, formal dresses zippered into a matching garment bag, make up and hair appliances in another.

Somehow she'd arrived on the island with nothing and yet she was leaving now like the princess she was.

Hinata had dressed this morning in a rather severe dark navy suit, the only ornamentation the gold military style buttons on the jacket. She'd twisted her hair up into her traditional chignon, the style she wore most often for public appearances. She couldn't believe this appearance was for her grandmother's funeral. How many funerals had she attended now? Her parents. Her husband's.

Now Grandmama's.

Naruto sat at the back of the plane, left Hinata alone with her own thoughts.

They flew into Konoha's private airport, the terminal reserved for the royal family and visiting dignitaries. On arriving they discovered the Hamazakis had just flown in from the Tea Country and Hinata could barely sit still in the back of the limo on the way to the palace.

It was horrible, horrible returning like this, but at least she'd see Kaori.

But on reaching the palace and being ushered into the Hamazakis guest suite, Hinata discovered they hadn't brought Kaori with them after all. Hinata swayed on her feet, stunned. She'd waited so long to see her daughter. She'd counted on having Kaori's company, counted on finally being a family again.

Again Naruto remained in the background, shadowing Hinata but refraining from speaking. Hinata was aware of his presence but couldn't turn to him, afraid that if she looked at him, or spoke to him, her fragile control would break. She'd wanted Kaori so badly. She'd missed Kaori so much.

Three and a half weeks without her daughter. It was a lifetime.

Not even Sakura or Ino could comfort Hinata that afternoon. Nauseous, exhausted, she lay on her bed until the evening reception where the Shinobi royals were to receive visiting dignitaries. She managed to greet guests for two hours until she couldn't smile another gracious smile or speak another grateful word. In the back of her mind she felt only rage and pain.

She'd done everything ever asked of her. How could the Hamazakis keep Kaori from her now?

Finally she left the grand salon and escaped to her room. Naruto climbed the stairs behind her.

She felt him so strongly that her whole body tingled with heat and need.

At her bedroom door she faced him. She knew he'd remain outside her door, ever vigilant. But she didn't want him outside her room. She wanted him in it. And she didn't want him for sex, but for his warmth and strength. "I need you," she whispered.

"I'll be out here—"

"You know that's not what I mean."

His bue eyes met hers. They burned tonight, burned with a silent fire. "I can't do my job here, and the job you want in there."

She flushed at the tone of his job in there. He was reminding her most ungently that he believed all she wanted him for was sex. Her eyes burned, she struggled to smile. "Was it such a job to sleep with me?"

"No. You have a gorgeous body. A very sweet and sexy body, and a lot of men would be happy to give you what you want. But if I have to pick between satisfying your need, Princess, and protecting your life, I'll stay outside the bedroom."