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Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns all.


Chapter 11: Hope

BPOV

I could hear talking from Mr. Cullen's living room as I woke up. Even bundled up in blankets, I was freezing, and everything ached. My lungs felt heavy and it was hard to breathe.

I tried to remember how I ended up back at Edward's apartment. It was a little hazy at first, then the nights events all came back to me in a whirl. I pulled the blanket over my, completely mortified. I couldn't believe I had told him all of that, or what I had almost done. Sure, I had no problem with the idea of dying, and getting out, but I would never have wanted him to find me in that position.

Another thought suddenly occurred to me. How long would this last? Would I be sent back to deal on my own today? A week from now? A month? Whenever he got sick of me? I also couldn't just stay here, but I didn't want to go back home. I couldn't take anymore, and I knew it. I would rather die than be subjected to more. I wasn't strong anymore, I didn't have the will to be strong, not with no end in sight.

I curled up in the bed, trying to warm up more. My body was so tense from the violent tremors running through it, that everything hurt.

A few minutes later, the door to the guest room opens, and a silhouette fills the doorway. With the light coming only from behind, I can't tell who it is, and I feel panic building. The figure turns on the light, and relief washes through me when I see it is only Carlisle.

"I didn't mean to scare you. How are you feeling, Bella?" He says and he walks over to me, and sits down on the side of the bed.

"C-cold." I stutter out, my teeth chattering.

"Well, you did run around all night in the snow without much on, and then jump into a cold river." He says gently, before placing a hand to my forehead. The moment his hand touches me, I feel full blown panic take over.

James and Laurent hold my sobbing form down as they shove their members in and out of me at the same time violently. I feel James claw down my back till it draws blood, and Laurent laugh when he pulls out suddenly, and shoves his fist in so hard I scream in pain. I whimper, and beg them to stop, which just earns me another hit.

"It's all right Bella, you're not there anymore, you're safe."

The guest bedroom at Edward's materializes around me again, but from an odd position. I am somehow in the corner of the room. I feel strong arms around me, rocking me back and forth. Carlisle stands in front of me, keeping his distance, and looking shocked, concerned.

"Bella, are you back with us?" I hear a velvety voice ask gently, and I turn around to see It's Edward holding me. I feel exhausted, and everything hurts more. There is a stinging pain in my chest that wasn't there before.

"What happened? Carlisle said you were fine one moment, and he went to take your temperature, and you started having a severe panic attack.."

"I don't know… It only recently started happening with some people at school… but never like that. " I said, resting my head against his shoulder, exhausted.

"Do you think it is triggered by touch?" Carlisle asks as he steps forward. I shrink into Edward, and he holds me closer.

"Dad, not right now. Right now isn't the time to be testing for triggers. " He says with a note of protectiveness.

"But you have no effect on her." He states, not in an accusatory tone, but more as an observation.

"Yeah, I noticed. I don't know why, before you ask." Edward states.

"Do you think you can take her temperature and pulse then? I also need her respirations measured, and obviously, I can't do it myself."

Edward nods, before standing, still cradling me in his arms, before he sets me back on the bed. I mourn the loss of contact, but say nothing.

He takes my wrist, and stares at his watch for about half a minute before gently placing my arm against my chest, and watching the rise and fall. He then takes a thermometer from Carlisle and takes my temp. At the end of all of this, he doesn't look too happy.

"32 and irregular, temperature of 93, and respiratory is 23 and shallow." He tells Carlisle. He then takes my hands carefully, and looks at me. "Bella, does anything hurt?"

I nod tiredly, but don't explain, because I am just too tired. Not to mention, I don't want to sound like I am complaining.

"What hurts, you need to tell me." He says lifting my chin to look at him,

"Everything.. my lungs, my ribs, my muscles, my chest, my head, everything." I said honestly, and matter of factly, trying to make it sound detached so that I wouldn't sound like I was complaining.

"If you want, we can bring her to the house, and set up the monitors"

I didn't say anything, but I didn't want to leave. I was afraid if I left here, then it would change again, and I wouldn't be able to come back.

Edward seemed to read my hesitation, before he shook his head. "Do you think you could bring it here? I don't think it's a good idea to bring her anywhere right now. Plus, I know she feels safe here."

I sigh in relief, before curling back up, trying to stay warm.

"Okay, I will be back in a little while." Carlisle says before he walks out, leaving me alone with Edward.

He moves to the other side of the bed next to me, before pulling me onto his lap, and wrapping a blanket around me. "If you're okay with it, I would like you to stay here, at my place, at least for the time being. You aren't going back to your father's house if I can help it."

"I have to though, what if he finds out I-I'm here? He'll go after you too. I c-cant risk it." I Said, and he pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me.

"I can handle him. We are trying to build a case against him. I may need you to testify. But I am not letting you go back there." He said, his voice on edge.

"I can handle it." I lie, knowing I can't anymore, but not wanting to put him in danger on my behalf.

"That's bullshit Bella, I've almost lost you twice, and I don't know if you've noticed, but your body is failing. If something doesn't change, everything will be for nothing, and you will die. I can't let that happen…. And I won't let your father sell you to those disgusting…" he growls a little, his fist tightening.

I tense a little at the growl, feeling my own heartbeat pick up painfully. I knew he would never hurt me, but my body was reacting on it's own.

"Shh… It's okay, I won't hurt you, I didn't mean to scare you." He said, a slight panic in his voice.

"I know that." I said once the pain stopped. I closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest again. "I'm tired.."

"Then Sleep." He says quietly, and I fall into a peaceful sleep.

EPOV

I sighed as she fell asleep, and leaned my head against the headboard of the bed. I knew she wasn't healthy, and I knew what Carlisle had said during that first exam, but it didn't really hit me until today, when I took her pulse, and when I heard her heartbeat speed up, and sputter when I unintentionally scared her. Her life was in immediate danger, even after being removed from her fathers care. Her small body was giving failing her. It couldn't keep up with the stress it had been put through any longer. What if she hadn't come here tonight? What If I hadn't found out all of that? If I hadn't pulled my head out of my fucking ass?

Carlisle came back about an hour later with a bunch of equipment. Since she was asleep, he was able to set it all up without sending her into another panic attack. He set up a heart monitor, and put her on an IV of saline and nutrients, as well as on oxygen.

"Carlisle, do you think she will ever fully recover?" I ask, fearing for the answer.

"Physically, yes for the most part. She's young, and as long as she gets back to a healthy weight, and actually lets these injuries heal, then she should be fine. She might have to take it easy, avoid things that are too hard on the heart, but otherwise, I am sure she will recover. Mentally, I am not sure. When I touched her earlier, even though she knows me, it sent her into a full psychotic episode panic attack, It's become apparent she has some severe post traumatic stress disorders, and they will likely get worse. They tend to not show up until after the danger is over, and the fact that hers are showing up so soon after, is worrisome."

"What about therapy?"

"I would greatly recommend it. I think it would be wise if she took some time off from school though, focus on recovery. Not to mention, If she reacted that way to someone she knows touching her in a non threatening matter, in her current state, accidentally bumping into someone at school could be lethal, she would likely go into cardiac arrest. I wouldn't recommend she goes back until she has gained at least another twenty pounds, and all of her injuries are healed."

I nod, and stroke her hair absently. "Is it okay to leave her here alone though?"

"Maybe not for the first few weeks. Maybe Alice could stay with her when you're at work? After that, it should be fine."

"Okay." I sigh, exhausted myself.

"I am going to head out, call if you need me. Get some sleep, alright son?" He says before picking up his bag. I just nod, and wave him off before starting off towards my own bedroom.

I am halfway through changing when I hear the heart monitor start increasing steadily. I swear under my breath, and rush back to the guest room. She's whimpering and gasping in her sleep, obviously in the thralls of another nightmare. I go back over to her, and sit down, pulling her onto my lap. Almost immediately her heart rate starts going back to normal.

After a few minutes she is back to sleeping peacefully. At this point, I already know I am going to be sleeping in here at least for tonight.

I am going to be sleeping in the same bed as my female student. I really am going to hell. Better do it thoroughly then. I say as I lay down, and pull her close to me, wrapping my arms around her tiny body tightly, careful of all of the equipment.

It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep as well.


The next few weeks are difficult to say the least. The very next day, we had gone to the state police to report Charlie, and he had been arrested on the testimonials that, Carlisle, Alice, and I had given. His trial was set for a month later.

The police had yet to speak with Bella, but that's because I wouldn't let them, she still wasn't stable enough for me to feel safe risking it.

We had had to sedate her just for Carlisle to assess the damage of the rapes. The findings were horrifying, they had not been gentle on her.

Also, as Carlisle had guessed, her panic attacks had gotten much worse. The only person who could touch her was me. Anyone else would send her into a full blown panic attack.

The good news though, was that over the last few weeks, she had managed to gain ten pounds. Either Alice or I made sure she ate 6 small meals a day.

Most of her injuries were significantly better as well. She was finally sleeping, mostly due to me staying with her at night. She had horrible nightmares, which explained why she never slept before. When I stayed with her though, she slept peacefully.

I knew I had well crossed the teacher student line, but at this point, I didn't care. I was also her caretaker, legally now, so I didn't have to hide that she lived here.

She hadn't gone back to school yet, and probably wasn't going to for at least another month. I had taken the last couple weeks off to oversee her, and make sure she was okay. The school understood entirely when given the situation.

This would be the first morning I would go back to teach. I had made sure to wake up Bella when I woke up, so that she wouldn't end up with nightmares again.

I went out to the kitchen, and started making breakfast for the both of us. Bella was sitting in the living room, curled up in a ball as usual, drinking her morning orange juice. Carlisle outlawed coffee for her, because of her heart.

"Eggs sound okay, Bella?" I asked, and she looked up at me groggily and nodded. "Eggs it is. Are you going to be okay here by yourself, or do you want Alice to come by?"

"I'll be okay. Besides… If Alice comes by, she will try to bring me shopping again…. And there are just too many people in those places." She shuddered a little before finishing off her orange juice, and getting up. She brought it over to the sink, and washed the glass. I didn't like that Alice kept trying to bring her out so early either, but she also didn't really have much in the way of clothes. She didn't own much of anything before, and it was all old. She usually just wore pajama pants and a tank top, and usually one of my hoodies. She was still so thin that she got cold very easily, so I insisted she wore one. She didn't seem to mind at all.

"So, the trial is next week..?" She asks, putting on a brave face, but I could tell she was scared.

"Yeah, but I already told you, you don't need to go up there. Carlisle and I probably have enough evidence."

"I need to. You guys are doing all this for me, and if there is any chance I can help, I need to. It will be catastrophic if we lose, for all of us."

"Alright, but I want you to stay close to me until it's time for you to go up. There will be a lot of people there." I said, and she nods. When breakfast is finished, I plate it up for both of us, and we eat. She surprised me this morning by actually finishing the whole plate of eggs.

"Thank you for breakfast." She says, smiling a little, before taking both of our plates, and bringing them to the sink to wash. I had told her it was unnecessary, but as soon as she was healthy enough to walking around, she insisted. She said that if she is going to stay here, she needs to take some of the chores. I agreed, knowing it would make her feel more comfortable here.

I grabbed my briefcase, and headed towards the door. "If you need anything, just call, all right? I'll be back later." I said, and she nodded, waving me off. I caught the quick look of fear she tried to cover up as I left. "I promise I will be back later, don't worry, okay?" I said, and her face relaxed.

It had been hard to prove to her before that I wasn't going to leave her alone again. Every time I had to leave, I think she still was afraid that I wouldn't come back. I am sure she knew logically it wasn't the case, because I lived here, but I reassured her none the less.

I had the principal have the substitute teacher on call in case of emergency. I doubted I would need it though. Bella seemed to be doing much better. There were times when I could tell she was trying too hard to be fine, but she was still better than when I first met her, panic attacks aside.

Classes went smoothly, other than the same female students hitting on me as always. One was so pushy, I had to give her detention.

By the end of the day, I wanted nothing more than to be home though. I was worried, it was the first time Bella had been alone at all since that day three weeks ago, and it was the whole day.

When I got home, the smell of cookies assaulted me, and I smiled. It seemed she had kept busy.

I went into the kitchen to find her placing the cookies onto the plate, her back to me.

I went over to her, and smiled. "Cookies, huh?"

"Yup." She said, though something about her voice seemed off. I gently turned her around, and noticed her eyes were bloodshot, like she had been crying, and her fingernails had been chewed down to the finger.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I ask, concern lacing my features.

"I just.. I'm fine—"
"We talked about this, don't say you're fine unless you are. What's wrong?" I ask, keeping my voice soft.

"Just, too much time—" She took a deep breath. I noticed her hands were shaking. She brought her hand to her mouth, and I gently pushed it back down. "Too much time to think, flashbacks."

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come home." I said quietly.

"I didn't want you to have to do that. So… I found something to distract me." I then noticed that the whole apartment was spotless. She must have been exhausted. She was still supposed to be taking it easy.

"Bella, next time, please, call me. Even if you just need to talk for a few minutes. You know you are supposed to be taking it easy." I put my hands on her shoulders as I say this, and she nods.

"I'm sorry. I screwed up again.." she says, and I sigh, hugging her.

"You didn't screw up. I am actually proud, you found a way to at least deal. However, you don't need to do this alone, I'm here, only a phone call away."

"Alright." She says.

"Now go relax. I'm going to make dinner."

"Can I help?" she looks up at me with those big brown eyes, and even though I know she should be resting, I can't say no.

"Sure, but if you feel tired, you need to sit down, all right?" she nods, and smiles.

We spend the next hour preparing dinner together. She was very good in the kitchen, probably because she had to be, but it also seemed like she enjoyed it. She was more relaxed than I had seen her in awhile.

By the time we both finished dinner, I could tell It was time for her to get some sleep. We both head to my bedroom, and get into bed. As with our normal nightly ritual, she cuddles up to my side, and rests her head on my chest, and I hold her close to me before we both fall asleep.


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