Bonjourno! Nice to see from you again! I know last chapter was on the short side but they are increasing in length… slowly!

Love love!

Disclaimer; No ownership of Square-Enix for me I'm afraid! =(

Day 43

"Why do you have to go?" I said sadly kissing him as he put his jacket on.

"There's some sort of stupid emergency over on Binkanel, they're so useless over there. I can't really leave it to get worse." Gippal explained

"But you'll be gone for days!" I sighed

"I know babe, but I can't help it. It kinda falls into the responsibility package of being the leader." He kissed me back before heading to the door. "I have to go grab Rikku quickly, I just hope she doesn't realise I wasn't at my place."

"How would she know?" I asked.

"Oh she may have gone home from the workshop early, but then she knows my policy on slacking off so I doubt she would."

"She's at the workshop?" I asked. Why was she there, that's a long way out for her to come. And home? Why would she be going "home" to Gippal's?

"Yeah she's fixing some bits and pieces her guys found. She's just staying at mine whilst she gets it done."

"Oh really?" I felt annoyed at him for not telling me earlier. Not that I should be worried but it was him and Rikku staying together. It didn't feel right with me. "How long's she staying?"

"Well if I take her back with me now then I can tell her to stay out there and keep a look out and I'll get her bits done for her and send them over."

"Oh." I nodded at his answer

"What's wrong Paine?" he questioned.

"Just wondered why you never mentioned she was staying at yours? Is that why you didn't come over the other night?"

"I couldn't be out all the time – she'd get suspicious. And I just didn't think it was important. She always stays round, just invites herself. I couldn't very well tell her not to. It would look odd don't you think?"

"Not really. You could say you want your own space – "Don't want to be tempted"!" I tried to pretend I wasn't jealous but I don't think I was great at hiding those feelings. "I mean she can stay bloody anywhere can't she? Why yours?! And what if she just turns up when I'm there. That would look odder."

"She won't." he kissed me again, but it just annoyed me further. "Anyway, it's only Rikku don't worry."

"Yeah, only Rikku, the one who knows how to force herself into absolutely any mans bed blindfolded and gagged!" I shot at him angrily.

"What - you think I'd cheat with her?"

"I dunno Gippal, why's she at yours if you don't want her there?"

"O my Yevon! Paine, I told you, where else could I send her without her getting suspicious? And you seriously think I'd sleep with Rikku when I'm with you?! Thanks Paine, nice for the vote of confidence. At least now I know what you still really think of me." I shook my head as I watched him, there was no way I could explain myself as just feeling insecure now that I'd offended him. But I couldn't recognize his need to keep brushing it aside like it was nothing. This was Rikku, she was supposed to be my friend but did he not realise how I might actually feel a bit threatened by her? Obviously not as he was now accusing me of being the blind one,"I thought you understood!"

"Understood what?" I queried.

"Oh just the fact that it's not exactly nice to be thought of as a whore by people, but your own girlfriend - How am I meant to feel exactly?"

"Gippal I don't think that." I sighed deeply as I watched him get mad.

"Oh course not; you just think I'd cheat on you."
"Well it's Rikku! It's not that I don't trust you but I know better than to trust her. She always gets what she wants especially from you! I just thought maybe that as you used to be together and as she's staying at yours, there was a chance she was trying it on again with you. Sorry for seeing the logic of it all." I despaired.

"Whatever. If that's' what you still think of me then so be it. Who am I to change that?"

"Gippal! Don't go like this." I pleaded.

"What? Go "sleep" with Rikku? Oh I might just do that!" he said sarcastically.

"You're not funny." I glared up at him as he opened the door.

"I wasn't trying to be!" and with that he slammed the wood behind him, leaving me to wonder if we were now over and if he really was going to go and do exactly what I'd taken to be as sarcasm. The thought of them together made me feel sick. And knowing it was all because I got jealous made me feel scared, the pit of my stomach hurt as I wondered just how long he'd be gone. Or if he'd ever come back? What had I done! I missed him already and as I thought of it all being so short lived I felt tears push their way over the rims of my eyelids. He'd had such an incredible effect on me and we'd been together again barely a month. I couldn't let myself feel like this again.

It was stupid – he wouldn't sleep with her, he was just teasing. Or would he? Did I really know him like I should? He'd changed so much, could I trust him anymore? I mean WHY the farplane is she staying there? What a bitch! I still wasn't talking to her properly since the time in Luca. I couldn't believe she'd stab me in the back like that. I always knew I couldn't really depend on her; she was just too fickle, however I never would have guessed she'd do something so low to get Gippal! I mean its Gippal – MY Gippal! After all what would she see in him? She didn't know him like I did, no one did! Or was I kidding myself the whole time? Was he just faking to get back at me for something? Who could I trust?! Not Rikku that's for sure and now I was beginning to doubt the one person I finally felt at home with again. I didn't want to lose him again – or had he still been lost this whole time? Was this guy a completely different Gippal - Maybe not the one I had always loved!? Oh I hated worrying about him! It was pointless and why was he worth worrying about anyway… he was being unrealistic and after all how would he feel if I had guys from my work staying here? It goes two ways and I just don't think he gets that.
Quickly wiping my eyes I went into the kitchen and brushed off the counter. I needed to get out of this flat, it smelt like him and I really didn't need that right now. I had a load of work that needed catching up on anyway – it was best if I just concentrated on that rather than this stupid man.