ELEVEN: I Love You; Goodbye

After Dale's death, Hershel was adamant that everyone would stay in the house. Randall, the boy, was kept in a locked barn, which should keep him safe from walkers and keep us safe from him.

Andrea had taken Dale's death the hardest. It had lit a fire inside her. She was more determined than ever to learn how to defend herself and Shane was more than happy to comply. The pair often went out alone into the woods, armed with guns.

I was the opposite, I had tried to go out hunting with Daryl, but couldn't seem to focus enough to catch anything. I had opted to stay in the house, while Daryl provided for us. There was no use distracting him from his work.

Most of my time away from Daryl was spent with Sophia and Carl. Sophia had been doing better since she was first reunited with her mother. She could carry out conversations with the men, but touching was still a problem, especially when it was bare skin on bare skin.

Lori, however, seemed the happiest that I was now in the house. Andrea and Carol were often outside and the brunette mother needed someone to talk to. She was also glad that I had stopped "acting like a man," as she had so kindly put it. I was too tired to argue with her, so I'd just give her a silent nod. It was difficult for me to converse with her. Her views heavily clashed with my own and she was never shy to tell us what are positions in society were.

"I'm stuck, Sydney!" Sophia was waving a paper filled with numbers and squares in front of my face.

I smiled at her and looked at the sheet, quickly going through each number until I found several errors. There was no point for her to try to fix it, the mistake had already taken a life of its own and each step after was another mistake. There was really no point to tell her to fix what she did wrong because the initial error was nearly impossible to identify, so I merely drew her another puzzle to solve.

She happily took it and ran off to find Carl who had been helping her.

I looked out the window. Inside the house, it felt like life was still normal. It didn't feel as if the world was infested with flesh-eating corpses nor did it feel like most of our friends and family were probably all dead.

A figure in the distance caught my attention. From the lack of hair and body structure, I could only assume that it was Shane. What was he doing by the barn?

I quickly made my way out of the house and towards the barn. He had disappeared inside before I can reach him, but when he reappeared, he wasn't alone. "Shane? What are you doing?"

He shot a glance at the teenage boy who was blindfolded and had his hands tied behind his back. "Nothing you should worry about." His voice was threatening. He leaned over and whispered into my ear. "This ain't anything that you don't want. We both know what has to be done and I won't allow a dead man to put everyone in danger."

When realisation hit me, I frowned at him. "You can't possibly mean that you're gonna..."

"Yeah, I am and you're not gonna tell no one about it, understand?"

I nodded. Not because I was afraid of him, but because he was right. I had allowed Dale's death to consume me, but moping around wasn't going to do anyone any good. I had to get back into the mindset of surviving.

"You can trust me, Shane, but... you owe me one." I didn't want to get on that guy's bad side, but I also wasn't going to let him off easy.

His nose twitched, but he nodded nonetheless. Without another word, he pushed the kid towards the forest. I could only hope that I was doing the right thing.

"'Ey." Daryl plopped down on the couch beside me, crossing his legs and rested his left arm on my shoulders. "Whatcha been doin' all day?"

I actually contemplated telling Daryl what I had sworn to secret with Shane, but at the last second, I clammed up. "Nothing. Just... Just spent the day with Sophia and Carl and... you know? Trying not to let Lori get to me too much."

He chuckled. "Had a fun day, huh?"

I hummed in response and leaned against him.

"Wanna go outside? Hate bein' inside all da time."

"Yeah." I looked up and smiled at him. "Yeah. I wanna go outside. I'm tired of thinking about what happened. I want to go hunting with you, again."

He smirked. "'Bout damn time. Not da same without ya."

We strolled out with the full intention of just enjoying the breeze when Shane burst out from the woods with blood running down his face. I swallowed hard. What had happened? Did he kill Randall?

"Rick! Rick!" Shane was the perfect actor, I realised. I had heard stories of how he may have killed Otis to save his own life when they were getting medicine for Carl.

"What happened?" Rick asked in alarm.

"He's armed! He's got my gun!" He touched his forehead where the blood was still wet. "Little bastard just snuck up on me. He clocked me in the face."

Rick turned to the others. "Alright. Hershel, T-Dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us."

I looked at Daryl in alarm. I didn't want him with Shane, right now. The man seemed crazed and I feared what else he was capable of.

"T, I'm gonna need that gun," Daryl told T-Dog. He extended his hand to take the weapon as it was handed to him and I quickly pulled him to me into a kiss.

"Daryl, be careful of Shane," I whispered against his lips. "Don't ever be caught alone with him."

He gave me a meaningful look. "I can take care of ma self, Syd."

I stroked his face. "I know. I know. Just be careful. Promise me."

"Syd..."

"Promise me."

He brought me back into a kiss. "Yeh, I promise. Promise ta come back ta ya safe 'n sound, good?"

"Yeah..."

I watched as he parted with Rick, Glenn, and Shane. T-Dog ushered me towards the house with quick words of assurance. I tried to smile back at him, but it was difficult. I knew that Daryl could take care of himself in the situation of walkers, but with humans, they were unpredictable.

I sat behind locked doors until I couldn't take it anymore. "T-Dog, it's been hours. I need to go see what's going on."

"Are you kidding me, girl? Daryl's gonna kick ma sorry ass if I let you out!"

"I can't just sit here, anymore." I stood up and walked over to the door. "If Daryl comes back before I do, just say that I sneaked out. I'll be fine. Don't worry."

T-Dog still looked uncertain, but I was already unlocking the door when he stopped me. "Here, take this."

I gratefully accepted the handgun and quickly made my way to the woods.

What was taking them so long? Shane wouldn't kill all three of them, would he? I could see his affection for Lori and Carl. They needed the men to protect them because no matter how good Shane was, he wouldn't be able to defend them all.

I wandered around without a single walker approaching me, but there were several decaying bodies scattered around that I assumed were taken down by the four men.

I didn't go to deep into the forest, I wandered near the edges around the farm until I heard two familiar voices.

I burst through the trees and into a clearing where I could see the farmhouse. In front of me was Rick and Shane. They were fighting. I didn't see Daryl nor Glenn and wondered if something had happened to them that had caused this. I could see a knife in Rick's hand and a gun in Shane's. My own firearm was clenched tightly in my hand.

As I see them break apart and charge at each other, I ran forward, screaming for them to stop. "Rick! Shane! No!"

My body hit Shane's, saving him from the plunge of Rick's knife and also keeping him from shooting the other man. Unfortunately, his finger had pulled the trigger and the pain of the bullet grazing my cheek made me grit my teeth. "Stop it, you two!"

I stayed on top of Shane before hitting his wrist with the butt of my gun. He let go of his weapon and didn't bother picking it up, again. As a precaution, I whacked it away. "What the hell did you guys think you were doing?!"

"He brought me here and was gonna kill me, Sydney," Rick told me.

I looked down at Shane who was still breathing heavily before turning back to Rick. "Where's Daryl?"

"He's fine!" Shane grunted. "Paired up with the Asian. Thought I'd kill him? Not dumb enough to try."

I felt relief hit me. Daryl was fine, as far as I knew, but this tension between the two former partners needed to end before it tore the group apart. "Shane, what the fuck did you think you were doing? Is it about Lori? Carl?" He didn't look at me. "You can't do this. They need both of you. It's the end of the fuckin' world and the two of you are trying to fuckin' kill each other. Tell me how logical that sounds. Tell me how Lori or Carl would react if they knew that either or both of you are dead."

They both had guilty looks on their faces.

"You know how Lori is. She's a domestic mother and the way she's teaching Carl would get him killed," I continued. "He needs both of you to teach him how to survive in this world. Rick, you have so much compassion in you and Shane, you know you're bloody fantastic with the gun." I saw that both of the men seemed to have calmed down drastically. "So, please, think about Lori and Carl if nothing else."

Just after I finished, there was a quiet, confused voice that pierced through the thick tension. "Dad?"

We looked towards the farm where Carl was standing just outside the fence. He looked puzzled. A gun was pointed at our direction, but Rick quickly defused the situation.

I gave Shane a meaningful look before standing up. "Remember what I said."

He ran his hand on top of his short hair before nodding. "Yeah..." He walked over and retrieved his gun.

The four of us began to slowly walk back to the house, relieved that the drama seemed to have dissipated.

"What were you guys doing out here?" Carl asked, looking at his father who mumbled something incoherent. "I thought you were looking for..."

I rolled my eyes and fabricated some lie. "I bumped into these two arguing and they thought I was one of those walkers and nearly killed me. Not the first time as I'm sure you know."

The little boy laughed and nodded his head. "Andrea's better now, isn't she? Shane taught her."

I smirked and nudged the buff man with my elbow.

He ignored me.

Just as we were about to climb over the fence, I spotted a walker from the corner of my eye. "Hey, guys..."

It wasn't just one or two. No, there was a large mob of them.

"Shit!"

We ran the rest of the way to the farmhouse where some of the walkers were already there.

I shot the one that was looming over Carol who gave me a grateful look. I nodded back at her.

"Where are these guys coming from?" I shouted at Shane who was beside me.

"Fuckin' bastards must been the ones from the highway," he replied, taking down several more of the reanimated corpses. "Find Lori and get the children into a car." Of course, Lori. Bloody hell...

"Carol, get you and Sophia into a car. I'm going to find Lori. Carl should be with Rick, right now." I slipped the gun out of my belt and took out the dagger. I couldn't afford to waste all the bullet, yet. "Lori?!" I shouted over the madness. "Lori?!"

I readjusted my grip on the dagger before slamming it into one of the walker's eye. Several more quickly took its place and I ran. "Lori?!"

I kicked one of the walkers down, but as I turned, it pulled me down. "Fuck!" This was a terrible position to be in. I was on my stomach with these killers swarming me. I shot the one holding my ankle and scrambled to my feet before another two could grab me.

I looked over to the porch where I saw Lori with Beth and Patricia. There was a loud scream as one of the walkers grabbed Patricia and blood gushed everywhere when it bit into her neck. I shot the thing that killed her before using another bullet to end Patricia's misery. Fuck... I probably only had one or two bullets left, if I was lucky.

"Go!" I shouted to Lori. "I'll cover you guys!"

I pushed the closest walker away and killed the other one approaching me.

"Sydney! In the car!" I heard T-Dog shout at me. I turned around, but saw that the path to the pickup truck was already blocked. Shit.

"Leave without me! I'll catch another ride!" I shouted back, already backing away.

T-Dog looked reluctant to leave me by myself, but I had already run off.

"Sydney! Sydney!" I stopped to see Carol with Sophia. They were backed against the barn doors.

"What the hell are you still doing here?" I was frustrated, confused, and scared. I didn't want another responsibility on my hands. "Didn't I tell you to get into a car?"

"We couldn't," she cried out. "There were walkers everywhere. We had nowhere else to go."

I let out a puff of air and swung the dagger through a rotting head, in frustration.

The sound of a loud engine muted the walkers' growls. I was hoping that it was a truck or even just a car, but seeing Daryl on the motorcycle, I knew that I had a decision to make. He glanced between me and Carol with her daughter. From the expression on his face, there was no doubt that he knew what I was thinking.

"No, Syd..." he whispered, shaking his head.

I gave him a weak smile. "You have to. We have no time to argue." I turned to Carol and Sophia. "Go. Get your daughter to safety."

Carol hesitated, but thinking solely on her child, she helped the little girl on to the seat behind Daryl and sat behind her. "Thank you, Sydney. I better see you, soon."

"Yeah..." Empty promises. That was all I could give her.

Daryl swallowed hard. "Sydney, I..."

I ran over and crashed my lips on to his. "I love you, Daryl. I love you."

"I..." His lips trembled and I could see the tears at the corner of his eyes. "Girl, I'ma come back for ya. Don't sound like we ain't gonna see each other, 'gain."

I shook my head. "No, you can't. It's going to be completely inaccessible by then and I won't be staying here. You know I've been surviving by myself for a long time. I have a few tricks up my sleeve." It was not a promise, but it was the best that I could do. "No, go. You don't have much time left."

He revved up the engine and with one last glance, I watched him leave.

Sure, it was great to say and do all those selfless things, but it sure didn't feel good. It sure made me regret all those choices. I wanted to be with Daryl. I wanted to live and see the end of this hell, but it was all impossible, now. There was nowhere to run.

I glanced at the gun in my hand and checked the bullets. One left. How appropriate.

...

Bang!

Daryl looked behind him. He couldn't see anything moving, except for those damn geeks. There were no more shots fired and he could only hope that Sydney had managed to get away. She was smart. She was resourceful. She knew her way around the woods. She knew how to survive. There should be no doubt in his mind that he'd see her again, so why didn't he believe it? Why did it feel like this was going to be the last time he'd ever see her.

When she kissed him and said that she loved him, he couldn't even get those damn words out! Fuck! Now... Now, he wasn't ever gonna be able to say it because he wasn't ever gonna see her, again.

"Daryl..." He ignored the voice. "Daryl, she'll be alright. She's a smart girl and she promised."

He thought back to their hasty parting words. No. No, she didn't promise shit. She danced around, spewing out words that didn't mean fucking shit! It didn't matter if she was smart and resourceful of she was dead. It didn't matter if she loved him if she was fucking dead.

"Daryl? Sydney's going to be okay, right?" Sophia's soft, fearful voice made him refocus on the road. No, she ain't fucking gonna be okay. She was gonna fucking die.

A hand reached over and he saw a familiar white rose in front of him.

"Yeh. Sydney's gonna be fine."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

As sad as I am, I had to leave her behind. On The Walking Dead, no one is safe. The question now is, how is Daryl going to move on?

Thank you galwidanatitude and celia azul for reviewing!

galwidanatitud: Is it too early to lose Sydney, too?

celia azul: I definitely agree with you on that. On the show, it'd make my life happier and easier if he remained a loner.

Thank you as well to everyone who has favourited and followed this story!