Ch. 11 mad hatter
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"how do you feel?" Hannibal asked, as he was once again seated on his leather reclining chair. his legs crossed elegantly, while a clipboard rested upon his lap.
"I don't know . . . " the other simply stated, wallowing in his dark pit of emotions.
"Then let me rephrase it for you, what do you feel for the victim . . . " Hannibal uttered airy in nature.
Will opened his mouth wanting to say a normal human response, which varies from disgust to morbid fascination, but he couldn't. He felt an kick of life with every murder, it wasn't just a fascination. It was now an obsession. He felt as though he was descending in an untimely madness. A truly terrifying feat.
"Madness" Will finally mustered. A simple word that pulled a few strings in the doctor.
"I don't believe so . . . " Hannibal uttered, as silence hung between the two, as Hannibal simply observed.
"What do you mean?" Will said, after reflecting in a span of a few minutes.
"There really no such thing as madness or insanity. Humans try to achieve a fictional concept of true freedom, a freedom to do anything and everything. But, what puts a minority of humans in a group called the insane, is when it is acted upon, what is against morals. But morals being a human concept, how is that defying an superior being?
So in conclusion there really is no insanity, it is just acting upon what you think is right. Equally, I view normal as an . . . unnamed insanity" Hannibal answered, sharing his opinion upon his patient.
"so you view conformism, as a sin? " Will queried, looking quite confused. As what is considered as normal, only ranges from what you see which is a uniform of all that passed by and walk in society.
"no . . . But I see conformism as an Misanthropic act of locking our primal nature. To copy each other, limiting our way of survival by diversity.
so . . . how do you see, the madness you possess?" the doctor said, now reversing the question trying to crack his internal mental protection.
"I . . . see madness, as a depletion of what's left of my sanity. Which isn't much from the start." Will explained, feeling a mutual interest in void of the flaw in human mentality.
"and what do you think is the reason for this?"Hannibal followed up, observing the pattern of his words, the pauses as well as the other's micro-expressions.
"Cynicism and contempt, blindness from demagogues. . . I find humans as lovable fools following fate as a puppeteer, being shackled by fictional silver strings" Will uttered, while his eyes were wondered conveying his painted perspective of such a beautifully poetic cynical world.
"fascinating . . . " the doctor muttered under his breath, in audible to the other.
"do you believe in providence?" Hannibal asked, creating a dry chuckle from the detective.
" . . . after describing humanity as an atrocity, do you think I still believe in such a trivial things?" Will answered unfazed, by the sensitivity of the question.
"facts and beliefs are not the same . . . let's just say that what you describe as humanity is fact, but what do you believe in? in a subjective pretense " Hannibal, said driving a sense of control over the other subconsciously.
little to Will's knowledge, these words and questions were more like triggers. It was a psychological trick to assert dependence from the patient. To box him in wall of losing hope and a sense of what the doctor dubbed as a fictional concept, morality, creating a forced dependence on what or who he thought could make him feel normal, or in the stand of sanity, as Will was in an impressionable state.
"I believe in . . . survival . . . " Will answered, making the doctor smirk. he has succeeded, but the doctor needed more proof and measure of his influence.
"in a hypothetical manner, how do you survive in a world filled with enemies?" Hannibal asked, as he pursed his lips for an answer.
" Elimination . . . " Will muttered, Hannibal widened his previous smirk.
"I think we should conclude this session for today" Hannibal uttered satisfied, while scribbling words on the paper that was on the clipboard.
in that moment, Hannibal was in the verge of praising Will about his laudable vocal performance, in the assessment .
"I think dinner would be appropriate." Hannibal said, as he directed the other to the dining area.
It puzzles Will, on how Hannibal maintains a perceptual calm, even after the confession of his insanity that he may or may not be guilty of.
Will once again, felt this natural predilection to the doctor, but now stronger. As in his mind, they share a mutual perspective. His unison to doctor made him feel an attraction and affection, unknown to his withered existence.
Hannibal on the other hand noticed Will's perplexedly suppressed attraction to him, and he immersed himself in it. Hannibal noted his physical attraction to the other as well, even going so far a memorizing the scent of the other's after shave. Like an animal, he found it quite sensual, yet disliked it at the same time.
He had an unnamed desire of physical contact, so in his little ways, he took opportunities and did so. As they walked through the halls of the vicinity, Hannibal brushed his hand slightly against Will and immediately he got Will's reaction, making the other flinch and blush from so little.
Will truly was a paragon of his ideal.
