Well, this is pretty much the last "chapter". I will be posting the epilogue tomorrow, and then as soon as possible, the prologe to this stories sequel: City of Angels: Miley's Story (Second in the faith series.) Also, can anyone please tell me who old Miley and Lilly are now on the show? Are they 15 or 16? Also, I don't know if the show has ever made it clear, but what is the name of the studio Hannah Montana -in the show, not Miley Cyrust- records at? Anywhos, thank you, Jesus.Lives for bet reading :) You absolutely rock.


"Be patient with my doubt. I'm just tryin' to figure out Your will" - Nichole Nordman

Chapter Eleven

Everything is so amazing. I don't know if I have ever enjoyed life this much! I guess when I was young and carefree, I did. Of course, the second you hit a certain age, you learn you can't always be so careless.

But there's something else you need to learn to -- and it's not something a lot of people tell you.

What is it?

Well, most of us carry our worries, responsibilities, pain, and fears on our shoulder. We don't have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders! There's somebody else who is much stronger that us; He can carry the load.

I'm not saying we should expect things to go away or work it out for itself. I still need to work my butt off so I can get at least a B on my English essay, and I still need to cope with my father's absence.

What I'm saying is, I guess, that God can help us carry the weight of the pain and worries. Life's much too short to spend weighed down, broken, and damaged. I want to be as happy as possible. So if I mess up and if I have a bad day... why get all broken up about it? Actually, that's a lot like Hannah's song: 'Nobody's Perfect'. I wish I would have paid attention to those lyrics sooner… and to God's existence.

I'm still new to this whole Christian thing and at times I'm skeptical. I mean, how can one ark hold so many animals? Why did God turn that woman into a pillar for looking back? Is it really that bad to look back at things you once knew? Why did Moses have to die without entering the Promised Land? And why did King David's child have to die? I'm still trying to understand His will and overcome doubts that attack me sometimes. All I know is that some of these things that seem impossible and cruel must not be so.

The impossible, when I feel like it is so, I just have to look out at the beach. I see the waves crashing against the perfect sand. We take things as "simple" as nature for granted. We don't see how very complex they are. How could this all be a chance? And if some higher being can create this world, surely He can do whatever else He wants.

As for the things that seem cruel, well, how could someone who sent His only Son to die for our sins be so cruel? He can't be. Not cruel, only just.

So I guess, these things I don't understand...I'm going to have to either trust God that He knows what He's doing or figure it out. Miley says she'll lend me some commentaries and study books she has for the Old Testament. Maybe those will help.

I lay my Bible down, when I hear a knock against my door. "Come in," I say. Of course, it is my mother. I see her blonde hair peaking in and her sparkling eyes falling curiously over my Bible.

"I'm happy to see you're really interested in this." She says. But there's something else in her words. Something I can't exactly decipher.

"Me too."

"Miley seems to be talking more openly to you about her religion." My mother says this more to herself than me.

"She's invited you to go to church with us." I remind her.

"Lilly, do you really think it would matter?"

A chill shoots through my spine and my heart starts aching. "What do you mean?"

"When I was your age...well no, I was older. I was seventeen. I made a terrible mistake. I slept with my boyfriend at the time."

"Mom," I search for the words. "God will forgive you --"

"That's not all, Lilly. Oh, how I wish it was all!"

My mother starts crying and it makes me so sad. I can't even describe the pain I feel right now, because it's not my own. "What else?" I squeak.

"I got pregnant."

"You mean," I almost feel a little excited, "I have a sister?"

She looks at me with sad eyes. "You would, but I got an abortion. Lilly, I killed a baby! I didn't have to. I was selfish."

"Why? Would Grandma and Grandpa have been mad?"

"Yes, but that wasn't the only reason why. I didn't want to lose my boyfriend you see."

"Mom..." I feel lost in a pool full of words that need to be said. "The youth pastor at the church I've been going to says we all sin. We just need to accept Christ and repent from our sins and --"

"I know." she cut me off.

"Well, then. What if it were me? What if I got pregnant and had an abortion?"

"Lilly, you would never do that."

"Just pretend I did. Would you still think it is useless for me to go to church, learn about God, and get saved? Do you think God would forsake me?"

"No."

"Then why are you being so hard on yourself? Mom," I start choking. I fight so hard to keep the burning water in my eyes. "If this is all for real...and I make it pass this life, I want you there too! Please, just give it another try. Come to church with us this Sunday."

The phone rings. "I'll get that." My mom says and leans over and grabs the green phone in my room. She answers it and a startle look comes across her face.

"Who is it?" I mouth.

"I told you not to call here anymore!" She shouts at the phone. "No! I don't care! Fine, you can talk to her, but I won't guarantee she'll talk to you." My mom throws the phone at me.

"Hello?" I say.

"Lilly, it's your dad."

"What do you want?" I ask callously.

"I want to apologize."

"It's too late." I hang up the phone.

It's quiet for a long time and I start tracing out the designs on my bed's comforter. "Do you pray for him?" My mom whispers.

"No." I don't move my eyes to look up at her.

"I do." She whispers. "Every night. I pray that he'll change back to who he was when I first met him. I still love that part of him; that version of who he was."

"How can you still love him?" I ask disgusted.

"The same way God can still love a terrible person like me." My mom gives me a sad smile when I meet her eyes. "I'll go to church with you on one condition, Lilly."

"If you're going to ask me to pray for --"

"I can't tell you what or who to pray for. That's personal. But maybe, we should give your Dad another chance..."

"You're not considering getting back together?"

She laughs now. "Heavens, no! I just mean, if he wants to be your father again...you should give him one more chance. See if he really has changed."

"And what if he hasn't?"

"Then we can walk away from the mess he's made without a guilty conscious."

I hug her and consider this. Would it really be too bad to give him a second chance? I feel God's will coming through stronger than my own and I know what it is I must do.