After they'd come home Sydney became agitated. She needed her strength and she needed it now. She'd excused herself from Sark's company, who had looked at her with great concern. She wasn't sure she bought his whole good guy act. It made her angry. And she needed to do something about it, she asked Julia for the training room and after borrowing some sports clothes from her, she made her way to it.
She began her exercise, tentatively throwing some punches at a boxing bag. Then her mind began to dwell on all the things Sark had told her, and she realized she hated Rambaldi, she was angry for the way people were now trying to use her, for not being able to trust anyone anymore. For having to work with Sark. Not being sure whether to trust him. She punched the bag with all she had, kicked it until she felt her knuckles bleeding and her feet hurt. She was desperate to rid her body from the stress and emotional pain. She was catching her breath when the unmistakable British accent came to raise her anger once again.
"If I were you, I would try and take it easy. You're not fully strong yet."
He saw her eyes spitting fire.
"Let me tell you something, you cocky son of a bitch." She slowly made her way over to him. "I am always fully strong, the last thing I need is you holding me back".
His eyes became icier than she had ever seen them before.
"I disagree, if you will continue to be so stubborn you might end up unreliable in the field or overtraining yourself, doing only more damage to your body. In that case you would be the one holding me back."
She threw a punch which he easily blocked, he twisted her arm and forced her to the floor and dropped her. He unbuttoned his shirt, tossing it aside, revealing a plain white wife-beater.
"Prove it to me and I will say no more about your supposed incompetence due to your injury."
His words made her jump up, ignoring the sharp pain that went through her body. She would give the bastard what he was asking for. She failed to land a kick, proceeded with a combination of a punch and a sweep for his legs, which to her frustration he blocked. He grabbed her leg, twisted it and she found herself on the floor again.
"Your anger prohibits you from anticipating, you're just lashing out and it will get you killed."
He circled her. Determined not to give in she suddenly swept his legs off the ground, causing him to land on his back and dove on top of him. Trying to pin his arms next to him, straddling him with her thighs.
"You listen to me, I will do this my way, I still don't trust you and I don't have any reason to do so. If you get in my way I will kill you, is that clear?!"
Sark's expression changed from amused to annoyed and his eyes went cold again.
"Crystal."
His words made her shiver. In one move she found herself lying on her back, their positions reversed. She never had been in control, he just let her have that illusion.
"Now let me tell you something in return, you may be used to have every man wrapped around you're little fingers, ready to jump whenever you need them. Always giving in to your stubbornness. But you mean nothing to me, so I couldn't care less about you're stubbornness if it wasn't for the fact that this attitude could get me killed. Now if you're so eager to die, I suggests you do it somewhere else, and not while being on a mission with me."
His grasp was so firm and her muscles so tense that everything began to hurt.
"You're hurting me." Her tone was pent-up, the fact that Sark was winning this made her even more angry and she struggled to get out of his grasp. It was pointless.
"That's the point Sydney, I can easily hurt you, even when I have no intention of doing so. I realize you've had an incredible difficult day, but you need to focus on the end goal. Training for a short-term goal is nonsensical, you can't be ready in a day and it won't remove your frustration. I suggest you compartmentalize and leave your emotions out of this."
"What would you know about emotions?!"
She spat the words out. He moved his face close to hers, his eyes a fiery blue.
"Everything."
She could feel his breath on her, his face was way too close for her comfort.
"I have done nothing but help you these past weeks, I have let you into my home and you're anything but grateful. I understand you have trust issues, but apparently you've forgotten our conversation earlier today already. That is quiet disappointing, because I don't plan on reassuring you every time you decide to let your emotions run away with you."
Sydney's body was reaction to a man being so close to her and she had trouble looking him in the eyes, afraid he would see her probably dilated pupils.
"So I will tell you for the last time, that you have my word that I will help you see this through to the end and my full loyalty to you. But I won't let you do this on your own and I won't budge when your emotions come in the way."
She felt her heart sting, this was too much for her, it became too personal. Being understood and given such a promise. Her eyes met his and she could swear that he intended on kissing her, instead he stood up and held out his hand to help her up. She looked at him and felt vulnerable and embarrassed. She stood up herself and pretty much ran out of the room.
"Something tells me there is more between her and you than you have mentioned before. Because was that a little sexual frustration I saw back there?"
Julia had a puzzled look on her face, especially when she saw the anger in him.
"Don't ever mention her to me in that way!"
He recovered a little by the sight of her. His face became filled with a sincere sadness.
"I apologize for my tone Julia, it's just that Sydney and I have a rather complicated past."
"What are you not telling me Julian?"
She saw his hesitation.
"You can trust me, you know that."
He let out a sigh and shook his head.
"I know that, but I don't want to drag you into the life we're living, and second I don't want you to have to lie to Sydney."
"Julian?" Her concern was obvious. He closed his eyes for a second. "If I show you, you must promise me to never ever tell her, and second don't ever talk about any attraction we might have."
He was confusing her that much was clear.
"Julian, why ever in the world...?"
"No, promise me."
She nodded.
"I promise."
(Song = Astair by Matt Costa)
Sydney ran to her room. Locked the door and let herself slide to the floor. She tried controlling her breathing to relax, but the impact of the day finally came down on her, emotion overcame her and she couldn't stop the tears from flowing freely anymore. She laughed, the situation was just completely ridiculous.
The Rambaldi madness had come to find her once again. She had been drugged and apparently tried to seduce Sark, who claimed to not have taken any advantage of that and rescued her. She had wondered a lot about that in the past two weeks. Why he'd taken her here and not back to L.A., except maybe for the question about Sloane's loyalty. He had obviously take a big risk in taken her to his home. Why, when he had so little to trust her for and no guarantee she wouldn't lead the CIA back to this place. And that moment just now, why had it felt like he wanted to kiss her and why had that not raised a thousand alarm bells in her head.
She had to admit being here with him, seeing him with Julia scared her. It reminded her that he was human and behind the façade of a killer was a man capable of kindness and loving. She dragged herself to her bed, exhausted, she let her body relax. He had been right though, she hated to admit it, but all men in her life usually gave in to her stubbornness, saying that nothing would stop her anyway. She had been stubborn and emotional and Sark was the first to stand his ground against her. She had been childish and he had set her straight. That she owed him an apology was the last thought she had before falling asleep.
